Enlightement for my Virgo Guy

Thanks in advance guys! I am a leo girl and have been seeing this really sweet and interesting man who is a Virgo. He is a little bit older than me, I am early 30's and he is almost 45. I understand that he is very cautious as typical Virgo's are. I just need to know if I am being a silly Leo girl who is used to a TON of attention and positive reinforcement fr om the man I am dating and being insecure as a result.
Again, I understand that he is being cautious, he has told me that is afraid that to get close to me so he is shutting down to feel nothing. That he knows I have expectations and those make him nervous because he doesn't want to hurt me. Of course I have expectations! He being the Virgo that he is, was picking apart my personality flaws and trying to delve into why I do the stupid things I do, and telling me that I am so much better than that. That I deserve better and made me feel safe enough to let my guard down and see who I really am. He told me that much, that he see's who I am and it confuses him because he didn't expect to like me so much. Then he will tell me that he is trying to be mean to me to see if I will go away. So basically after he told me he was closing himself off emotionally to me, I wrote this this very long email. In the message he basically said, I care alot about you, we need to talk, you need to know how I feel. We are very much alike and you surprise me everyday. Since then we have not had a conversation. He went out and bought me some presents...and when I asked him about our conversation he said...don't make decide right now if you force me you won't like my decision..but i think there is more to you. Just be patient. I just dont understand at all whats going on. Why won't he say, "there maybe a future with us or i don't think this will work out." p.s if we don't see each other not a day goes by without emails or phone calls.....HELP!

Well, the good thing here is that this guy is being HONEST with you. I think you are trying so hard to over analyze the situation to figure out what he's NOT saying so much so that you're missing out on the messages of what he IS saying. He's telling you that yes, he didn't expect to like you as much as he does BUT that just b/c he does happen to like you alot doesn't mean that he's willing to take the connection a step further. Yes, he's a cautious Virgo but this goes way deeper than that. The fact that he's aware of himself FINDING reasons to distance himself from you & then actually admitting this to you isn't good. Should you be glad that he's being honest with you? Of course. BUT, the deeper meaning of what he was saying is that there are things (insecurities, fears, baggage) going on inside of him that won't go away..and no, not even if he meets & gets to know a woman that he actually likes for a chance. We women assume that if we like something enough there should be no reason for us to put a halt to anything. BUT not everybody, especially men think like this. You being a Leo, you are so used to chasing or being chased..giving things a go when they feel right. BUT with him being a Virgo, he's so used to not actually connecting with people. So when he actually does, he's more out of his comfort zone, & depending on what he's been through, this make him so uncomfortable that he'd rather wish you weren't too good to be true, thus that's why he says little comments like "I wish you would go away." This guy is not ready for a relationship with you. He may like you and all but be lucky that he's telling you this up front. His inner issues (probably with commitment) run so deep that just him merely liking someone alot is not necessarily enough to make him commit or allow those inner walls to come tumbling down. Most importantly, don't convince yourself that he's just being cautious & that that's a justification to stick around. There's only so much time he should be allowed to be cautious. It's okay to understand WHY he's that way but that doesn't necessarily mean that you have to stick around, put your life on hold & "wait" for him. Don't allow him to make you pay for something you didn't do.

The truth is that, it can be kind of seen as a good thing when a guy opens up about his feelings & then runs. That means that you've gotten him to that vulnerable place that most people don't have access to. The closer you're getting to his heart (whether you know it or not), the more distant & confused men can be, especially Virgos. BUT don't just stick around simply b/c you "understand" him. Don't use astrology as a basis for sticking around. You've got needs too. It's unfair for this guy to expect for you to give this your all, break down your walls & open up fully to him & him not give the same in return OR him run when it's his turn to prove himself. B/c what'll happen is you'll end up feeling like you gave it your all & the next thing you know, you'll be standing alone wondering where the hell this guy went. Play the game smarter. If he's not ready for a commitment for unknown reasons, that's fine BUT he owes you the explanation of knowing where things are going to go from here. And if he can't give you that explanation then you need to walk away. With some guys, it won't matter HOW good you are to & for them; if they're not ready then it is what it is. I agree that you need to be patient BUT don't let this guy give you a whole bunch of excuses either. The point is that TIME is valuable to you both & he's right, you DESERVE a guy who you don't have to overly-fight for. You've already proven yourself & according to him, he likes what he sees. BUT, don't be so quick to want or demand a relationship from him b/c what's most important is that he needs to sort out why he's SO insecure. If either of you don't figure that out, all of his fears, insecurities & what his REAL problem is will just come out in the relationship, if it were ever to get to that point. Just relax, don't over-analyze & see where it goes. The fact that he's opening up is a good thing. BUT just make sure you don't wait around for too long b/c you might get your feelings hurt & feeling like your time was wasted. A good man will snatch up a good thing when he sees it. Only a fool stalls.

Posted by amberinleo
I just need to know if I am being a silly Leo girl who is used to a TON of attention and positive reinforcement fr om the man I am dating and being insecure as a result.

Why is it silly to like guys who are attentive to you?
Yes it could be a signal of insecurity or it could be that you like being treated well plain and simple.