HALP?!

This is exactly how i am. I think and talk quickly it's hard to hold back sometimes. But we have to learn to slow down our thoughts.

I'm a Taurus, mhave mercury, moon and venus in aries, and all this in the 3rd house. Also, a mars in gemini, so i'm a multi tasker aswell.

Don't worry you will master it one day, i beleive we develop the best, the qualities that we lack.

With my boyfriend i'm very quiet, because i feel that we get each other with no need to talk. For that you would need a taurus moon or gemini sun bf. Or moon mercury connections in synastry.

Posted by yupvirgoo
I have Virgo mercury, Taurus moon and Aqua rising and I do want to be heard when I say things but I'm probably a little more reserved than him and I like to listen to people and chew on what they say before responding due to my moon.

I think that he thinks that he can't get a word out when he's talking to you sometimes but you are trying and I think you should tell him all these, how you feel and how you're trying.

We Virgos sometimes lose track of other people's feelings. And when they calmly communicate their thoughts and emotions to us, our minds start to slowly open and we become more pliable. We soften when confronted with logic and reason.

Taureans have always approached us with calm and I think that's why we get along well with them.

this is how he is too. mainly in the general public he is quieter bc he listens intently. he expresses himself a lot with me with me so hear in lies the hard part bc its as if im his only outlet and if im not totally receptive, i pay the price so to speak. when i interrupt him, he stops speaking to listen. he CANT do both almost. which i do with great ease. have always gotten along with caps as friends for this very reason. very lively constant communication, bouncing from subject to subject. i do love these qualities about him but i feel like i have to walk on eggshells often. its a work in progress. he didnt blow up this morning. i apologized. so hopefully its a start.

Posted by Espresso
This is exactly how i am. I think and talk quickly it's hard to hold back sometimes. But we have to learn to slow down our thoughts.

I'm a Taurus, mhave mercury, moon and venus in aries, and all this in the 3rd house. Also, a mars in gemini, so i'm a multi tasker aswell.

Don't worry you will master it one day, i beleive we develop the best, the qualities that we lack.

With my boyfriend i'm very quiet, because i feel that we get each other with no need to talk. For that you would need a taurus moon or gemini sun bf. Or moon mercury connections in synastry.

we have always had a lot to say to each other i guess. or maybe just a lot to say and someone willing to listen lol. we try to be that for each other. i am more quiet with him than any other SO just about besides the Pisces. had to majorly walk on eggshells with him too. i work on my control and inner dialougue a lot. mostly, i can control it tho. ive just accepted myself as a more active communicator. i dont think that works with him tho. thats where flexible gemini moon is helpful.

Posted by yupvirgoo

Posted by AbbyNormal

Posted by yupvirgoo
I have Virgo mercury, Taurus moon and Aqua rising and I do want to be heard when I say things but I'm probably a little more reserved than him and I like to listen to people and chew on what they say before responding due to my moon.

I think that he thinks that he can't get a word out when he's talking to you sometimes but you are trying and I think you should tell him all these, how you feel and how you're trying.

We Virgos sometimes lose track of other people's feelings. And when they calmly communicate their thoughts and emotions to us, our minds start to slowly open and we become more pliable. We soften when confronted with logic and reason.

Taureans have always approached us with calm and I think that's why we get along well with them.

this is how he is too. mainly in the general public he is quieter bc he listens intently. he expresses himself a lot with me with me so hear in lies the hard part bc its as if im his only outlet and if im not totally receptive, i pay the price so to speak. when i interrupt him, he stops speaking to listen. he CANT do both almost. which i do with great ease. have always gotten along with caps as friends for this very reason. very lively constant communication, bouncing from subject to subject. i do love these qualities about him but i feel like i have to walk on eggshells often. its a work in progress. he didnt blow up this morning. i apologized. so hopefully its a start.

I share a lot of things to my wife too. But your Virgo sounds impatient and easily frustrated to me (which I am not at all coz of Taurus moon and Libra mars).. What is his mars?.... I would've apologized to you when after you've gone off to smoke. He needs to know what you think and feel about this.

click to expand

sag mars lol. when i get frustrated, i go smoke a cigarette (trying to break this habit but its the least of my worries comparedly lol). he HAS noticed this but his response today was, "great, youre going to smoke again... you know im going to say something when its not healthy for you..." as i was walking out (or something along those lines). funny thing is he has always been the heavy smoker and, when i had quit smoking last year, i asked him a few times to try to quit since we didnt have the extra income for it and i thought hed feel better. well since then he hasnt quit, but i have picked it back up and to a heavier degree than before. you would think he would think... hmmm im stressing her out to the point where she feels like she has to leave the apt, so she goes and smoke a cig... what can i do to help this.... ?

hence his response lol ?

Posted by yupvirgoo

Posted by AbbyNormal

Posted by yupvirgoo

Posted by AbbyNormal

Posted by yupvirgoo
I have Virgo mercury, Taurus moon and Aqua rising and I do want to be heard when I say things but I'm probably a little more reserved than him and I like to listen to people and chew on what they say before responding due to my moon.

I think that he thinks that he can't get a word out when he's talking to you sometimes but you are trying and I think you should tell him all these, how you feel and how you're trying.

We Virgos sometimes lose track of other people's feelings. And when they calmly communicate their thoughts and emotions to us, our minds start to slowly open and we become more pliable. We soften when confronted with logic and reason.

Taureans have always approached us with calm and I think that's why we get along well with them.

this is how he is too. mainly in the general public he is quieter bc he listens intently. he expresses himself a lot with me with me so hear in lies the hard part bc its as if im his only outlet and if im not totally receptive, i pay the price so to speak. when i interrupt him, he stops speaking to listen. he CANT do both almost. which i do with great ease. have always gotten along with caps as friends for this very reason. very lively constant communication, bouncing from subject to subject. i do love these qualities about him but i feel like i have to walk on eggshells often. its a work in progress. he didnt blow up this morning. i apologized. so hopefully its a start.

I share a lot of things to my wife too. But your Virgo sounds impatient and easily frustrated to me (which I am not at all coz of Taurus moon and Libra mars).. What is his mars?.... I would've apologized to you when after you've gone off to smoke. He needs to know what you think and feel about this.

sag mars lol. when i get frustrated, i go smoke a cigarette (trying to break this habit but its the least of my worries comparedly lol). he HAS noticed this but his response today was, "great, youre going to smoke again... you know im going to say something when its not healthy for you..." as i was walking out (or something along those lines). funny thing is he has always been the heavy smoker and, when i had quit smoking last year, i asked him a few times to try to quit since we didnt have the extra income for it and i thought hed feel better. well since then he hasnt quit, but i have picked it back up and to a heavier degree than before. you would think he would think... hmmm im stressing her out to the point where she feels like she has to leave the apt, so she goes and smoke a cig... what can i do to help this.... ?

hence his response lol ?

My wife smokes only socially so I don't fret as much but I used to be a really heavy smoker. She dislikes it and it isn't healthy so I stopped. You're stressed out so you needed a smoke, there's nothing wrong with that. And he's having trouble quitting, alright that takes time.

But all the stress-smoking would stop if the two of you can sit down and talk about your relationship, what you think and what you feel. You can't let this lack of communication go on coz that's the road to the end of a relationship. There must always be a sincere conversation with people being honest even when it hurts.

click to expand

oh we communicate lol. it just has seem to be falling into the same pattern with no real results so i stop trying as much. just trying to change my perspective when all else fails.

You need to repeat back to him what he says. I know we all see it on TV and make fun of it but it stops you from listening to respond versus actually listening. It's a habit that becomes easier as you practice it and more natural. Lots of: I hear what you're saying, just to be sure I understand, you feel blank, or you want me to do blank, things like that.

Most importantly listen to listen, not to respond. Like a text, you have to read it before you can form a response, you need to hear everything he says before you even start to formulate a response.

according to this astrology thing I have mercury in aries and too, I'm not like that AT ALL. I know when you're listening or not what I say and you deal with it lol, I do't repeat myself.

The way OP describes the situation he sounds a bit funny.

I think maybe DXPnet is not the best place to fix one's own relaitonship problems, you get a lot of strangers with preconceived ideas telling you sthg about a situation they don't really know anything about, and they think they know the persons characters because of ASTROLOGY...

Posted by yupvirgoo

Posted by AbbyNormal

Posted by yupvirgoo

Posted by AbbyNormal

Posted by yupvirgoo

Posted by AbbyNormal

Posted by yupvirgoo
I have Virgo mercury, Taurus moon and Aqua rising and I do want to be heard when I say things but I'm probably a little more reserved than him and I like to listen to people and chew on what they say before responding due to my moon.

I think that he thinks that he can't get a word out when he's talking to you sometimes but you are trying and I think you should tell him all these, how you feel and how you're trying.

We Virgos sometimes lose track of other people's feelings. And when they calmly communicate their thoughts and emotions to us, our minds start to slowly open and we become more pliable. We soften when confronted with logic and reason.

Taureans have always approached us with calm and I think that's why we get along well with them.

this is how he is too. mainly in the general public he is quieter bc he listens intently. he expresses himself a lot with me with me so hear in lies the hard part bc its as if im his only outlet and if im not totally receptive, i pay the price so to speak. when i interrupt him, he stops speaking to listen. he CANT do both almost. which i do with great ease. have always gotten along with caps as friends for this very reason. very lively constant communication, bouncing from subject to subject. i do love these qualities about him but i feel like i have to walk on eggshells often. its a work in progress. he didnt blow up this morning. i apologized. so hopefully its a start.

I share a lot of things to my wife too. But your Virgo sounds impatient and easily frustrated to me (which I am not at all coz of Taurus moon and Libra mars).. What is his mars?.... I would've apologized to you when after you've gone off to smoke. He needs to know what you think and feel about this.

sag mars lol. when i get frustrated, i go smoke a cigarette (trying to break this habit but its the least of my worries comparedly lol). he HAS noticed this but his response today was, "great, youre going to smoke again... you know im going to say something when its not healthy for you..." as i was walking out (or something along those lines). funny thing is he has always been the heavy smoker and, when i had quit smoking last year, i asked him a few times to try to quit since we didnt have the extra income for it and i thought hed feel better. well since then he hasnt quit, but i have picked it back up and to a heavier degree than before. you would think he would think... hmmm im stressing her out to the point where she feels like she has to leave the apt, so she goes and smoke a cig... what can i do to help this.... ?

hence his response lol ?

My wife smokes only socially so I don't fret as much but I used to be a really heavy smoker. She dislikes it and it isn't healthy so I stopped. You're stressed out so you needed a smoke, there's nothing wrong with that. And he's having trouble quitting, alright that takes time.

But all the stress-smoking would stop if the two of you can sit down and talk about your relationship, what you think and what you feel. You can't let this lack of communication go on coz that's the road to the end of a relationship. There must always be a sincere conversation with people being honest even when it hurts.

oh we communicate lol. it just has seem to be falling into the same pattern with no real results so i stop trying as much. just trying to change my perspective when all else fails.

That's good. Your Gem moon embraces change better. My Taurus wife is more stubborn but I'm very quick to use diplomacy lol. Your Virgo seems more stubborn, even moreso than you but Taurus presence has always been soothing... so I'm pretty sure you'll handle it well. You know him best, after all.

click to expand

he out stubborns me for sure lol. if that were possible. in some ways i love it bc i feel as if ive met my match so to speak. someone who can handle my intensity and dish it back out once or twice. too much complacency can be a problem in its own for me. i just dont want to feel as if we are both losing an unending battle. i do try to stop myself. and i do try to listen to what he says so for now thats the best i can do and im ok with that. i just get a bit frustrated at this aspect sometimes. hes a good man tho. and i appreciate that he feels like he can express himself at least to me.

Posted by starwars
do you look like you're 'busy' and thinking of something else all the time? that can be the reason you're giving off the vibe that you aren't paying any attention. - I relate but for me when I focus I stare into space its creepy and annoying all at the same time I get shit for it all the time LOL! I'm trying to work on it but I can't help it.

if its detachment thing then have a space every now and then.

my aqua moon sister don't mind when I don't reply to her which happen quite often, I simply stare cap moon style and she keeps going LMAO!

im pretty sure i almost always look busy in some way lol. when im going, i go hard and i work on and think about multiple things all day. i see what hes on about but its (i'm) a very slow work in progress apparently lol.

The problem here isn't that you are giving him the impression that you're not listening to him .. the problem is that you have given yourself justification for it by saying and believing ... look at all I do, I give my all, so why shouldn't that be enough?

In other words, you are ignoring your fault. Also, you are rewarding him with your service to him, rather than properly interacting with him. for example:

you think you are good for getting up and running inside because he needs attention. You stated that that is what a good SO does, so you believe this to be true. He only has to come out to make a noise, and you go running to him because he is in need of your presence.

That's not resolving issues .. that's adding to the problems of you two not interacting properly with each other.

Also ......

Posted by AbbyNormal

talking about something and i say something (it was early so i cant remember details). i notice him go quiet and start tapping his fingers, obviously annoyed and trying not to snap. he calms himself down and so i ask, "what did i do?" to which he replies, "i feel like youre not listening to me." oh here we are again... i dreaded the answer bc i was hoping we were past this.

Why would you think, "here we go again" .... when you haven't done anything to resolve the issue in the first place? Why would you believe the two of you are past something you've never addressed within yourself?

you blow past him, when he needs you to stop and you refuse to do it .... yet, you believe he should just magically get past it?



The reason you believe he should adjust his sails and be past it, is because you two aren't actually talking about the problems.

Again .... you have yourself believing that you are justified in mistreating him because you are replacing his needs with things you bestow upon him and believe that what you WANT TO GIVE him should suffice.

I can't comment on his actions because he isn't here to speak for himself. Surely, every person embellishes to some degree to make sure they are in a better light. If he were to speak, there's no doubt in my mind that his words would not coincide with yours. so, you can't expect people to comment on him and his character.

To give someone what you think they need, or what you want them to have ... isn't the same as giving to them what they believe they need, or what they want of you. And in there is your only issue in this situation, as far as what you've written.

Posted by AbbyNormal

talking about something and i say something (it was early so i cant remember details). i notice him go quiet and start tapping his fingers, obviously annoyed and trying not to snap. he calms himself down and so i ask, "what did i do?" to which he replies, "i feel like youre not listening to me." oh here we are again... i dreaded the answer bc i was hoping we were past this.

Also, the underlined part above .......

By asking that question, you put yourself in a position to be reprimanded by him, by assuming that you've done something wrong.

So, that means you already realized you did something wrong.

So, why then take the passive aggressive attitude of = oh great, now he's going to go off on that tangent again.

By you asking that question, and leaving the door open for him to respond negatively to your intentional ignorance of his need (in which you cannot comprehend because you've justified your ignorance) .... you are actually adding to the miscommunication. You are prompting it to continue.



There isn't any reason why you cannot stop yourself long enough to listen to him, if that is what you want to do. In fact, when someone is talking, and you actually WANT to hear what they say ... I bet you pay attention.

this has nothing to do with your planets. This has nothing to do with an active mind, or being a multitasker .... this has to do with you believing that you give him enough that he should be grateful of you so you are using this as a weapon to attempt punish him.



Because we all know that if you truly wanted to hear him ... you would. So, it serves you no purpose to try and pretend like you aren't in control of yourself, except to get validation from people who have only been fed certain information for a specific outcome.



People do what they mean to do. If you meant to have a different relation with him .... you would.

Posted by P-Angel
The problem here isn't that you are giving him the impression that you're not listening to him .. the problem is that you have given yourself justification for it by saying and believing ... look at all I do, I give my all, so why shouldn't that be enough?

In other words, you are ignoring your fault. Also, you are rewarding him with your service to him, rather than properly interacting with him. for example:

you think you are good for getting up and running inside because he needs attention. You stated that that is what a good SO does, so you believe this to be true. He only has to come out to make a noise, and you go running to him because he is in need of your presence.

That's not resolving issues .. that's adding to the problems of you two not interacting properly with each other.

Also ......

Posted by AbbyNormal

talking about something and i say something (it was early so i cant remember details). i notice him go quiet and start tapping his fingers, obviously annoyed and trying not to snap. he calms himself down and so i ask, "what did i do?" to which he replies, "i feel like youre not listening to me." oh here we are again... i dreaded the answer bc i was hoping we were past this.

Why would you think, "here we go again" .... when you haven't done anything to resolve the issue in the first place? Why would you believe the two of you are past something you've never addressed within yourself?

you blow past him, when he needs you to stop and you refuse to do it .... yet, you believe he should just magically get past it?



The reason you believe he should adjust his sails and be past it, is because you two aren't actually talking about the problems.

Again .... you have yourself believing that you are justified in mistreating him because you are replacing his needs with things you bestow upon him and believe that what you WANT TO GIVE him should suffice.

I can't comment on his actions because he isn't here to speak for himself. Surely, every person embellishes to some degree to make sure they are in a better light. If he were to speak, there's no doubt in my mind that his words would not coincide with yours. so, you can't expect people to comment on him and his character.

To give someone what you think they need, or what you want them to have ... isn't the same as giving to them what they believe they need, or what they want of you. And in there is your only issue in this situation, as far as what you've written.

click to expand

the same anxiety i felt when i noticed you replied to this lol. i know there is a problem. thats why im addressing it. and it has long persisted so this is why i come for outside advice. you can take what i say in whatever light you like but until you and i have had full discussion about anything (which i dont intend on wasting my time so dont ask), i could care less about your "hole poking". im not perfect neither is he we are working on it. the end. your assumptions are beyond me.

no point in keeping this up now that its P-ed on lol

Posted by AbbyNormal



i know there is a problem. thats why im addressing it.

But, you're not addressing it. You have justifiable reasons why you are incapable of slowing yourself down long enough to listen.

You have said in here a couple places that you believe you give him a lot of yourself, and you implied that that should be enough for him to realize how much you care about him.

what you believe you should give him ... isn't the same as why he believes he needs.

You cannot see that. You blow past that, and blame your planets for your ignorance of the real problem.



the problem isn't you not listening ... your problem is that you don't believe it should be a problem = ignorance

Mercury in Aries communicators make quick decisions–so quick that you might think they don’t much like thinking things over. The truth is, Aries communicators don’t have a lot of patience for mulling. Their decisions are often driven by the need for instant gratification.

Mercury in Aries men and women are generally quick and to the point in their communications. They are direct and candid, and some may even think their style is crude at times. At times, they can come across as downright aggressive, but that usually happens when they encounter opposition to their opinions and ideas. It is generally a result of frustration, because Mercury in Aries almost childishly assumes that others will accept their opinions smoothly. There is a sensitivity and defensiveness to Aries, and when Mercury is placed in the sign, natives tend to be quite personally attached to their ideas.

These people have a tendency towards streamlined learning. They prefer not to get bogged down in details, and are adept at dismissing what they feel are irrelevant details.

There’s a certain innocent charm to Aries communicators. Many will appreciate this sign’s utilitarian approach. You can pretty much count on them being straight with you, even if their Sun Sign is the more indirect Pisces.

This Mercury position favors starting new things. Aries is not attached to outdated ideas, and generally adopts an enthusiastic style . Criticism or negative feedback can be taken personally. Still, they are not afraid of a fight or a challenge, on a mental level. They have a visionary intelligence that is sometimes on the idealistic side.

New projects and ideas are taken on with an unmatched enthusiasm with this position of Mercury. However, because there is no shortage of new ideas in life, Mercury in Aries natives can be quick to dump one mental pursuit, way of thinking, or opinion for something fresher and more exciting.

Mercury in Aries people are often excellent at promoting their new ideas. When they’re excited about something, their style of communication can be so motivating and fun, the enthusiasm is downright infectious. Aries is a leader, quick to adopt absolutely new and innovative methods–they get a rise out of leading too!

If the Sun Sign is in Pisces or Taurus, these people can sometimes wonder why others get frustrated with them. The truth is, they may come across as more brusque and impatient than they actually are. Mercury in Aries natives make quick decisions, and they don’t always understand it when others hedge issues or stay “on the fence”.

Posted by tiziani
Damn, this is really close to home lol Not in terms of all the wanting attention and spending time together, but just in the one detail: "I feel like you're not listening to me"

I have that very same thing with the Taurus and she's Mercury in Aries, too.

I wouldn't call it an issue for us, it's just honestly how I feel. I don't feel like I get to speak on how I feel about anything before someone interrupts me or imposing their whole thought process on the whole thing. That is not a complaint because I have benefited greatly from her view on damn near everything, but there's also a place in my life where I have to find a space just to be heard. And that's all it is. Just to express myself and not hear anything back.

I also love Aries Merc more than arguably any other Merc. You guys just say things without ever really wrapping up the sentence with a nice finisher to cushion the blow, and it's hilarious to me. It's like coming to a red light, and you've got to ease your foot off the brake a little right at the end before bringing the car to a full stop, so that every passenger doesn't just feel jolted forward. You know.... everyone drives like that.... except if you're Aries Merc. You guys are just like: "Time to brake" right at the very end, and just hit the pedal. And it's almost always good natured too, when you voice your thoughts. She's an incredibly uplifting person but it took some time to get to know her and get adjusted to how she voices her opinion before I could full trust that it was always coming from a supportive place.

It takes time.

But the other stuff about arguing over attention and time spent together, those sound like character differences or life style differences that only you two can sort out the boundaries on.

I have Mercury in Aries also and I see some of that in me and yet I am a good listener. When I was younger, the Virgo and I used to talk - well he talked - for hours - of course this always tends to be at a time of us relaxing together and just enjoying a lazy day filled with each other's company. Now the Libras seem to be the ones talking in my life.

But even though I am a good listener, I have seen myself do this over the course of my life. And I didn't see that as necessarily a good thing all the time for me or anyone else. I learned to listen more, temper what I really wanted or needed to say so that it had more of an impact. I suppose I learned that all that talking didn't get me further in life. It was just busy stuff. The mind of a Mercury in Aries is like dominoes once you tip the very first one. We're off and running and see ahead of everything else and it's not on visual but voiceable. But the truly important stuff comes from listening more and being with the one you're with.

On the other hand, it takes two to understand each other. Your mind can't be racing when he's in windup mode. You both need to accommodate and be respectful of each other's communicating space.