Is he physically with me yet in love with her?

39 yo cancer woman dating a 48 yo capricorn man who has a 2 yo living in another state. Sexually, he pulls out. Even during “safe days”, he refuses to totally release and always holds back sexually. We’re adults.

Additionally, he’s a little too safe which makes me feel as if he’s holding back. I don’t have kids and am very transparent with him. At times, I feel as if he’s using me to have his physical needs met while emotionally carrying someone else. He’s divorced. He met his child’s mother after the divorce. Weird that his ex wife and child’s mother worked at the same place as he once did too. Divorced in 2012. Child born in 2015. He doesn’t know I know these details. Google.

I asked him why wasn’t he and his child’s mother together. He said she had pregnancy brain and no longer wanted it. I said maybe you’ll be restored. He said it hasn’t happened YET plus, he has me. Red flags went off. FaceTimes daughter twice a day.

Not sure if he’s building with the mom behind my back or trying to win her back. She’s 35, a Virgo, and very pretty.

I just don’t want to be blind sided or read into something that’s not there. Something is amiss.

Thoughts—

"FaceTimes daughter twice a day."

I think he is a good dad. I knew a Cap who was obsessed with his young daughter, but very critical of her mother. Your Cap apparently doesn't want anymore kids. How about you?

Why do you have to know such details through google, though? "When did you divorce" and "how old is your child" are FIRST DATE questions. Not details!

It doesn't appear that you talk enough with him, so you two could connect emotionally. Is he taking you on dates, or just asks for sex?

You could easily see if he's after his recent ex by talking about her and their relationship. "How did you meet?" How was she? Did she meet your ex wife? Did she cook better than me? Is she the reason for your divorce? Did you go on dates often? Where to? Is she seeing someone new? Would you go back to her if she asks?

Just ask as much as you like and get her out of your system. It's not healthy seeing her as anything else than his baby's mum. She's going to be in his life (in this quality) for the next 16 yrs, at least!

Posted by Undine
"FaceTimes daughter twice a day."

I think he is a good dad. I knew a Cap who was obsessed with his young daughter, but very critical of her mother. Your Cap apparently doesn't want anymore kids. How about you?

Why do you have to know such details through google, though? "When did you divorce" and "how old is your child" are FIRST DATE questions. Not details!

It doesn't appear that you talk enough with him, so you two could connect emotionally. Is he taking you on dates, or just asks for sex?

Thank you! He did share these details with me during the initial dating process. However, it’s new for me. I’m very inquisitive as a person. He works A LOT. He’s in management with a fluctuating schedule. We’ve been out four times in three months which is still not a lot. At times, he’ll cook or grab meals for us to eat inside. I agree with you. I too don’t believe he wants anymore kids which is a deal breaker for me. I will discuss this with him again. Maybe this is the gray area that’s really bothering me. Makes perfect sense. Thanks again for your insight.

Posted by Arkansassy

Posted by CrabbyDelight
Sexually, he pulls out. Even during “safe days”, he refuses to totally release and always holds back sexually. We’re adults.

No condom?

click to expand

No! No condom! Oh horror!!!

Thanks Miz Leo! I appreciate your feedback. I believe you’re absolutely right. I can sense it, and I’m adjusting as in taking the initiative to walk way

Pregnancy brain... bullshit

That’s not the real reason why they broke up

Posted by CreativeCap
Pregnancy brain... bullshit

That’s not the real reason why they broke up

I agree.

Posted by CreativeCap
Pregnancy brain... bullshit

That’s not the real reason why they broke up

What’s pregnancy brain?

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by CreativeCap
Pregnancy brain... bullshit

That’s not the real reason why they broke up

What’s pregnancy brain?

click to expand

Happens when a woman is pregnant. She may become forgetful, emotional and slightly disoriented

This thread is awkward.

Posted by nikkistar
This thread is awkward.

Why

Posted by CreativeCap

Posted by nikkistar
This thread is awkward.

Why

click to expand

So much TMI in it.

Thanks to all for the replies!

Posted by Dianna
Don't let his ex get in your head. If you start obsession over theit past it will destroy your present.

Such great advice!!

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by CreativeCap

Posted by nikkistar
This thread is awkward.

Why

So much TMI in it.

click to expand

a cap will always always try to make it work with the mother of his children...

Posted by CrabbyDelight
39 yo cancer woman dating a 48 yo capricorn man who has a 2 yo living in another state. Sexually, he pulls out. Even during “safe days”, he refuses to totally release and always holds back sexually. We’re adults.

Additionally, he’s a little too safe which makes me feel as if he’s holding back. I don’t have kids and am very transparent with him. At times, I feel as if he’s using me to have his physical needs met while emotionally carrying someone else. He’s divorced. He met his child’s mother after the divorce. Weird that his ex wife and child’s mother worked at the same place as he once did too. Divorced in 2012. Child born in 2015. He doesn’t know I know these details. Google.

I asked him why wasn’t he and his child’s mother together. He said she had pregnancy brain and no longer wanted it. I said maybe you’ll be restored. He said it hasn’t happened YET plus, he has me. Red flags went off. FaceTimes daughter twice a day.

Not sure if he’s building with the mom behind my back or trying to win her back. She’s 35, a Virgo, and very pretty.

I just don’t want to be blind sided or read into something that’s not there. Something is amiss.

Thoughts—

I’d be more concerned about the emotional disconnect. Not your imagined fears of him being with his ex.

Have you made it impeccably clear that you expect exclusivity? Have the conversation. Watch his eyes when he responds.

My thoughts?

You're deeply involved with a man tied up elsewhere emotionally. Whether the ex, the daughter, another person, or all the above, you don't have all of him and never will.

Don't settle for any guy with a working c0ck, and find a nice guy without kids and divorce papers. They are out there.

Posted by Crabra
My thoughts?

You're deeply involved with a man tied up elsewhere emotionally. Whether the ex, the daughter, another person, or all the above, you don't have all of him and never will.

Don't settle for any guy with a working c0ck, and find a nice guy without kids and divorce papers. They are out there.

Thank you SO much😃