@christinelovessnickers
13 Years1,000+ Posts
once a player always a player
Posted by tiziani
I wonder really if some men try their years as "playing" just because society tells them they should, but yet they never really were one.
And some people really are happier just not being in a committed relationship. You often see people say they just weren't made for marriage or to be in a relationship, and they say it with total peace.So yeah I think the saying could have more implications to it than people would be willing to be open minded enough to consider.
That's a good point that we just assume people play the field. Guess we judge that on their looks and possibly personalities.And chalk it up to age, too.
I have never been happier than when I am by myself. Lol maybe that is because I am impatient and over analyze things. No relationship, no stress!
I feel like there has to be exceptions, like maybe you are the one for him/her and they just don't see/ want to acknowledge it/ or don't know how to go about settling down. But I guess some would just chalk it up to not being the one.
Posted by tiziani
I wonder really if some men try their years as "playing" just because society tells them they should, but yet they never really were one.And some people really are happier just not being in a committed relationship. You often see people say they just weren't made for marriage or to be in a relationship, and they say it with total peace.
So yeah I think the saying could have more implications to it than people would be willing to be open minded enough to consider.
I totally agree about media representation playing up the "player mentality".our society is do focused on immediate gratification, whether it's money, sex, etc, That no one focuses on the negatives. The only way to help our kids is to try to lead them in the right directions the best we can.
Posted by tiziani
So if it's true that any person can find "The One" and change then how do you account for all the people who do not find the one and die single?
Do you really think that there can be " the one" or people just settle?
Posted by christinelovessnickers
Posted by tiziani
So if it's true that any person can find "The One" and change then how do you account for all the people who do not find the one and die single?Do you really think that there can be " the one" or people just settle?
It's a good question.
Personally I would like the believe (for myself) that I will find "The One".
But then I suppose that is exactly the same kind of stubborn mentality that leads people to become part of the big statistic of people that die without ever entering into a lifelong relationship.
So it's a double edged sword. But that's my personal answer.
Undoubtedly there are a large amount of people out there that settle. That doesn't mean they can't find happiness. I've seen two people accepting "settling" and building love between them. It's not "The One" kind of love, but it is happiness all the same.
Do you believe in The One?
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I don't doubt that people believe in "the one", but I have never experienced it yet if it does. I enjoy the idea though...I am a sucker for romance lol.
Posted by christinelovessnickers
Posted by tiziani
So if it's true that any person can find "The One" and change then how do you account for all the people who do not find the one and die single?Do you really think that there can be " the one" or people just settle?
It's a good question.
Personally I would like the believe (for myself) that I will find "The One".
But then I suppose that is exactly the same kind of stubborn mentality that leads people to become part of the big statistic of people that die without ever entering into a lifelong relationship.
So it's a double edged sword. But that's my personal answer.
Undoubtedly there are a large amount of people out there that settle. That doesn't mean they can't find happiness. I've seen two people accepting "settling" and building love between them. It's not "The One" kind of love, but it is happiness all the same.
Do you believe in The One?
click to expandThis just my opinion so please disagree,I won't take it as a personal attack.
Imo I don't think there is a one but there are many people who's personalities click, have you ever had that feeling? I have many times. Alot of the times though these females are already in relationships and I consider them both lucky to have found someone they can be happy with. This view of "the one" gives people a tunnel vision view because you've already painted a picture of how this person is supposed to look, dress and the attitude or personality that they have. It's like taking a Picasso painting and trying to find something in reality or the real world thats looks and gives off the same atmosphere. I think the best way to approach it is rather then making your self desprate in search of this special person the best thing to do is try and connect with people and socialize.
By socializing you open up "the pool" and have a larger social network, you can have friends intruduce you to other friends and so on. another thing to keep in mind is rather then view every female as a potential girlfriend or in extreme cases wife to be it would be better to view them as a human being. This will help people from putting oth
Posted by christinelovessnickers
I feel like there has to be exceptions, like maybe you are the one for him/her and they just don't see/ want to acknowledge it/ or don't know how to go about settling down. But I guess some would just chalk it up to not being the one.
I think the best way to go about it is believing they are they one. If they turn out not to be then well move on. Give all you can in a relationship and things gets a bit less messy and easier to let go when you go about it that way. I've been accused of playing but why force something that just doesn't work?
Is he the one? nah not even close it's just a thought that makes us feel better about our own decisions.
Posted by christinelovessnickers
I feel like there has to be exceptions, like maybe you are the one for him/her and they just don't see/ want to acknowledge it/ or don't know how to go about settling down. But I guess some would just chalk it up to not being the one.I think the best way to go about it is believing they are they one. If they turn out not to be then well move on. Give all you can in a relationship and things gets a bit less messy and easier to let go when you go about it that way. I've been accused of playing but why force something that just doesn't work?
Is he the one? nah not even close it's just a thought that makes us feel better about our own decisions.
click to expand
It is a good point that you should give it your all. You will never know what could have be/been if you don't put yuorself out there.
Posted by ands
No i think women in my case can ease with age when they learn about their energies more. I.e. Angelina j and her mars square venus.
exactly. plus, you never really lose your player'esque ways. it's like a superpower - you use it for good once you move on from that life. our men can certainly enjoy it!
Once a cheater always a cheater.
Once a child molester, always a child molester.
Once a liar, always a liar.
Once a rapist, always a rapist.
Posted by DMV
Once a cheater always a cheater.
Once a child molester, always a child molester.
Once a liar, always a liar.
Once a rapist, always a rapist.
They suppress their ways until a trigger appears. Same with drug addicts, alcoholics, bed wtters, bulimics.
Posted by DMV
Once a cheater always a cheater.
Once a child molester, always a child molester.
Once a liar, always a liar.
Once a rapist, always a rapist.They suppress their ways until a trigger appears. Same with drug addicts, alcoholics, bed wtters, bulimics.
click to expand
holy mess! hahahahaaaa!!
can the cheating at least go into remission or something?
It does but dont I wouldnt take a recovering alcoholic to an open bar. Nor would I take the biggest loser to golden corral.
Posted by DMV
It does but dont I wouldnt take a recovering alcoholic to an open bar. Nor would I take the biggest loser to golden corral.
oh, snap!
lls!
nope. do not agree. all players get old and tired of the game. the all eventually want to retire.
Posted by DMV
Once a cheater always a cheater.
Once a child molester, always a child molester.
Once a liar, always a liar.
Once a rapist, always a rapist.They suppress their ways until a trigger appears. Same with drug addicts, alcoholics, bed wtters, bulimics.
click to expand
yup thats usually how it goes.
Posted by cancerboo
nope. do not agree. all players get old and tired of the game. the all eventually want to retire.
When— When their cock no longer rises?
say at 60s or 70s—
would you wait for someone to change because they're retiring?
retirement benefits sounds more interesting than the retiree itself...
*just my thoughts*
Posted by DMV
Once a cheater always a cheater.
Once a child molester, always a child molester.
Once a liar, always a liar.
Once a rapist, always a rapist.
Liars and cheaters in the same category as child molesters and rapists?? Nahh I think you are wrong.
Posted by DMV
Once a cheater always a cheater.
Once a child molester, always a child molester.
Once a liar, always a liar.
Once a rapist, always a rapist.Liars and cheaters in the same category as child molesters and rapists?? Nahh I think you are wrong.
click to expand
your reading my statement too literally.
Posted by cancerboo
nope. do not agree. all players get old and tired of the game. the all eventually want to retire.When— When their cock no longer rises?
say at 60s or 70s—
would you wait for someone to change because they're retiring?
retirement benefits sounds more interesting than the retiree itself...
*just my thoughts*click to expand
would I wait? it depends.
I have no clue when, every player is different. One may retire because he is getting older, balls are sagging and cant last more than 2 min in the sack. Another player may retire because he found "the One" and does not want to loose her. The other player may retire because he is scared of dying alone..... I mean there are all sorts of scenarios. But they all eventually retire.
Posted by DMV
Once a cheater always a cheater.
Once a child molester, always a child molester.
Once a liar, always a liar.
Once a rapist, always a rapist.Liars and cheaters in the same category as child molesters and rapists?? Nahh I think you are wrong.
your reading my statement too literally.
click to expand
that is the only way to read them 🙂
Anyway, I don't agree in the sense that if you have lied or cheated, you can't stop that behavior. The other stuff, I leave it to the professionals!
Posted by DMV
Once a cheater always a cheater.
Once a child molester, always a child molester.
Once a liar, always a liar.
Once a rapist, always a rapist.
I get your point. I came a crossed a statement that I found interesting.
"People don't really change. It's their perspectives followed by the driving forces behind their choices and actions that change or stay the same."
"... the driving forces behind their choices and actions that change or stay the same."
this.
my perception may vary but not by much...however, the catalysts to my cheatin' ways can change and stop me dead in my tracks. or make me feel compelled to cheat.
a player grows to become oh, so familiar with these driving forces.
rather than cheat, we will let the person we are with know that a cheating can occur is this or that doesn't change OR we can make it so that it won't be considered cheating, like, break up with the individual.
understanding what makes us cheat keeps us honest.
So, in that way, by giving a "warning" do you feel you are allowing yourself to feel like cheating is justified? for your decision is driven by another person's actions or lack of action, therefore, if YOU cheat it is because that other person screwed up?
Breaking up makes perfect sense, but cheating just shows a lack of respect for the relationship you "agreed" to work towards/on.
Posted by cancerboo
nope. do not agree. all players get old and tired of the game. the all eventually want to retire.When— When their cock no longer rises?
say at 60s or 70s—
would you wait for someone to change because they're retiring?
retirement benefits sounds more interesting than the retiree itself...
*just my thoughts*would I wait? it depends.
I have no clue when, every player is different. One may retire because he is getting older, balls are sagging and cant last more than 2 min in the sack. Another player may retire because he found "the One" and does not want to loose her. The other player may retire because he is scared of dying alone..... I mean there are all sorts of scenarios. But they all eventually retire.
click to expand
I hope I still have the optimism of my sag moon but currently I suck at love, been with a lot of players and they always play around. Gemini and caps in a row suck the optimistic light on me OFF...
Can you shed some light on me, maybe that's all I need right now... but I'm fine and I must be fine 🙂
I don't believe people change their core values at any time during their life, typically.
A person's behaviour is formed according to their core values.
And this applies to anything.
A thief might stop stealing ... however, the thought will always be present when they see something they want but can't buy.
A drunk might not drink ... but, will always crave the bottle.
So, if you get a guy to promise never to cheat again, and he doesn't cheat .... that doesnt' stop him from desiring another person. If the guy you're with in bed is fucking another woman in his mind .. is that going to ok with you?
A rapist is always a rapist ... he may get out of prison and never do it again in actuality - but, the desire will still be there.
That's like saying a queer will change and never want another cock ... seriously, do you all realize how absurd it is to believe that a person changes thier desires just because of you?
:::: shakes head ::::
Posted by msmarilynmanson
once the man has found "the one", he will stop his playing ways. if he is still playing, you are probably not "the one".
I completely disagree with that ..... in that to believe this will create within you the belief that the guy will never desire to be player again, and will change into being a loyal partner who would never dream of cheating.
See, that is the problem here. To believe the above statement is in essence pulling the wool over your own awareness ... for to believe that means that you'll carry on in a relationship thinking he is CURED of being the person he wants to be.
That's so crazy. I mean that makes you to be an insane person.
A guy who is a player isn't going to CHANGE who he is. He may never cheat on you ever again, but, this is an act. In his head, as he beats off, he is STILL that player ... because that is who he is.
Here's an equivalency:
Men don't like women crying all the time .. they would rather you change and stop doing it. Get a grip on your emotions and stop being so weak, stop crying in front of them .... just stop it.
That's ^^^^^ how they feel.
So, that means that if you decide that he is the one for you .... then you are going to change just for him and stop crying?
If you are going to believe that a guy changes just for you .... then you have to live in reality, and you, yourself, HAVE to change your ways that he doesn't like, just for him. If you won't do that, then you're a hypocrite.
Instead of all this bullshit, why not be a grown up .... and keep searching until you find a person who actually wants to be the person you need him to be?
During the formative years ..... once a person has developed how they pyschologically process their life, they will ALWAYS process the handling of thier life accordingly.
Posted by P-Angel
I don't believe people change their core values at any time during their life, typically.A person's behaviour is formed according to their core values.
And this applies to anything.
A thief might stop stealing ... however, the thought will always be present when they see something they want but can't buy.
A drunk might not drink ... but, will always crave the bottle.
So, if you get a guy to promise never to cheat again, and he doesn't cheat .... that doesnt' stop him from desiring another person. If the guy you're with in bed is fucking another woman in his mind .. is that going to ok with you?
A rapist is always a rapist ... he may get out of prison and never do it again in actuality - but, the desire will still be there.
That's like saying a queer will change and never want another cock ... seriously, do you all realize how absurd it is to believe that a person changes thier desires just because of you?:::: shakes head ::::
I strongly agree with this!
A monkey will always be a monkey even if he wears a tuxedo and act like human...
Posted by aquansidenout
This day and age women make it to easy for a man to be a player. If you everybody a cookie then there won't be any left. Sometimes they're not players just victims of circumstance. :/
If you what?
Posted by msmarilynmanson
once the man has found "the one", he will stop his playing ways. if he is still playing, you are probably not "the one".I completely disagree with that ..... in that to believe this will create within you the belief that the guy will never desire to be player again, and will change into being a loyal partner who would never dream of cheating.
See, that is the problem here. To believe the above statement is in essence pulling the wool over your own awareness ... for to believe that means that you'll carry on in a relationship thinking he is CURED of being the person he wants to be.
That's so crazy. I mean that makes you to be an insane person.
A guy who is a player isn't going to CHANGE who he is. He may never cheat on you ever again, but, this is an act. In his head, as he beats off, he is STILL that player ... because that is who he is.
click to expand
+1
I know a few ex-players. I say 'ex' as they have now met the right person, settled down, got married and has kids. They've told me they couldn't be happier and I believe them as their actions speak louder than their words. It's not difficult for me to comprehend that some guys will play around until they meet the woman that they consider is right for them. Once they do they can let go of whatever it was they were looking for because they've FOUND IT.
To play the field while waiting for The One, isn't the same as .... A Player
The Bad Boy isn't a temporary trait ... it's a permanent fixture in his disposition.
The first mistake people run into is that they believe they can change a person .... and that isn't even the mistake, it's in that .... that person, those traits he currently possess are the ones that attracted you, so the desire in changing him is really against your best interest, but, very few people are capable of realizing that ... if any people.
Posted by everevolvingepithet
...and after all that they complain that the person has changed lol!
Ain't that the truth lol
before i cheat, i warn. i fight to not cheat. i do all i can...and that's better than nothing.
Posted by msmarilynmanson
once the man has found "the one", he will stop his playing ways. if he is still playing, you are probably not "the one".I completely disagree with that ..... in that to believe this will create within you the belief that the guy will never desire to be player again, and will change into being a loyal partner who would never dream of cheating.
See, that is the problem here. To believe the above statement is in essence pulling the wool over your own awareness ... for to believe that means that you'll carry on in a relationship thinking he is CURED of being the person he wants to be.
That's so crazy. I mean that makes you to be an insane person.
A guy who is a player isn't going to CHANGE who he is. He may never cheat on you ever again, but, this is an act. In his head, as he beats off, he is STILL that player ... because that is who he is.
click to expand
This is just straight up close minded. It's also a very negative way to think. I know what your saying to an extent because this is true for some individuals BUT I'll never think people don't change. I've changed over the short period of my life... haven't you? The stuff I use to desire in the past doesn't mean squat to me today.
Nvm I think I see better what your real point is .....
In expecting people to change for you rather than excepting them for who they are....
That I do agree with.....
Not that you care lol....
😛
Playing with fire
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Anyone agree or disagree with that statement? Why or why not?