Should you act dumb sometimes

So I like many good thing about my cancer .... his personality, his kindness , his ability to empathize and listen . His intellect is not really his selling point though . Not his fault , he’s just a country boy who really weren’t exposed to much until he left home for college .

Recently he moved to California and that’s a place of trends and varieties.

So he comes to me wanting to teach me about stuff like quinoa , lentil and guacamole. He doesn’t tell me he likes them but as in wanting to tell me about them not thinking I know about these things .

I’m a big reader and big in learning and experiencing . I also cook . I’ve tried things as exotics as injeera to baba ganoush to balut . So intellectually, not just with food , but about most things I know more about it than him .

When he tells me things I already been known about .. I used to be like , yea I know I’ve had it before , is this your first time ? Being a cancer , he would go silent when I do that since it probably hurt his ego a little

Then I realized there’s not much that he knows about compared to me . Sometime he just learns something new and want to feel like a man and teach them to me .

So I’ve learned to act excited like I don’t know and I think he feel much better . I get a much more positive response so with some things , I really do let him win .

Is that stupid ? My friend think it’s stupid that I’m “dumbing” myself down .

But I think of it more like an innocent kid telling you about something they learn . You don’t go and tell them , everyone knows that etc. you act enthusiastic.

The sugarcoated my boyfriend is a retard thread

You can be enthusiastic and talk about it without hurting his feelings and still not play dumb.

Posted by nanobot

Guacamole doe 🥑🤣🤣🤣

Yes , guac ... and lentil .... and quinoa

Am I crazy to assume that I thought most people knew these things .....

Posted by Uglygirlnextdoor

It's not that it's stupid, it's just pointless and fake. I don't think you would want to fake things through out your RS. IMO just do not ask him if that's the first time he knows about this or that if you know his sensitive bc it's a little offensive (especially to a man lol their ego is fragile) . Just listen to the man talk, I mean listening is enough, don't exaggerate your reactions, people know when it's sincere and when it's not.

True , I will try this . Maybe he’s fine with me just listening and not giving any response back ... instead of me pretend to be enthusiastic .

Posted by Black-Mamba

you settle way too much with this guy, cancer guys dont get better, they get more dumb as they age

case in point. CancerontheCusp. that guy is full retard

I came to the conclusion that I date to fulfill my emotional need and intimacy .

He fulfill those things

I can always have conversation with other things on a day to day basis with friends and strangers .

But for me , it’s hard to come across something that feels intimate. You’re right that I might be settling but as of this point . He’s the only person who can make me feel that . And unless someone else pops up and change something

I don't think you should act dumb, but I'm not a fan of hurting egos either, although I know it's not done intentionally.

Maybe when he brings something to you just add a little tidbit or fact about it. Like if he talks to you about guacamole listen then tell him how you like yours prepared, or the best place to eat it. Do the same with the other foods, or add small facts, to where a possible conversation can come out of it.

You may be more book smart than him, but maybe he's more logical or maybe he's better with spatial/mechanical skills? Underestimating others does both parties a disservice.

Your talking about 2 different things.

He’s not dumb, he’s naive.

He hasn’t had the same upbringing and exposure as you. That has nothing to do with how intelligent he is.

Also you say a lot about how ‘you think’ behavior of his has an emotional meaning your imagining. Why not just ask him? Put it out there.

I doubt he is feeling like you are gloating or that it’s a hit to his ego that you know about some fads when he doesn’t. Prolly all in your head.