Why do I self sabotage relationships?

I always have failed relationships because I am too afraid to let people in, like I won’t ever contact them first they have to contact me first otherwise we won’t ever speak again, I refuse to show any interest because then that makes me look “desperate” and too “clingy” like I’m always afraid of coming across as desperate and clingy and it’s really annoying because so many failed relationships have happened because I am too reserved and they end up thinking I’m not interested. I’ve also been told that I ghost a lot also.

Is this deeper than star signs?

Or could it just be something to do with my Scorpio moon?

I’m a Scorpio moon. I feel like I do that too. I become afraid and push the guy away. It’s almost as if I do that because I want them to show me they care about me. Honestly though, with a good guy who’s wants a relationship with you and really likes you, it’s a lot easier to feel happy and not worry as much about everything

I'm a scorpio moon but I don't care about looking like a fool. I care about not having regrets.

If you learn to handle feeling vulnerable it won't be so difficult. It may take time and lots of therapy but worth the work. If you don't, it could be a never ending cycle and a series of broken relationships

Posted by Gobby

And to think you could've freely admitted that in your previous thread before attacking (and attempting to gas-light) me...

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/pisces/are-pisces-generally-compatible-with-sagittarius--14098182/

*tuts*

lol

This is why I sort of think water signs waste their life. That sucks, good luck

Posted by IAteMyGrandmaInMonkeyTown

Because you're a Pisces and irrational. If all your relationships end bad because you don't give in, mathematically it can't get any worse, so you might as well give in.

Don't let anyone tell you you waste your life either, based on stupid Zodiac. Your life is beautiful just like everyone elses.

Everything you said was just on point thank you 👏🏽

Idk dating & relationships can be weird with all the texting & messaging. I never had to make any initiation at all when I was in my 20’s.. so I suppose I got lazy. When I started dating after a long term marriage, it was different.. I got lots of crap from guys about not initiating lol. See if they care, they don’t go away, they just give you crap until you start initiating and showing you care 😂 I have actually had that happen.. more than once.

It is good to initiate a little, and it doesn’t mean you are clingy. It is actually good to not be all over a guy, and you can see if they like you or not. I typically think it should be fairly equal at some point. But if you ignore someone, they will go away.

What is your Venus.. I’m cap Venus and I do tend to want a little proof that they are sincere, and not just yanking my chain.

Honestly I think being responsive is more important than initiating. So the ghosting behavior may be more of the issue. They will keep coming if interested and you give them a reason to.

Why? Because you didn't learn otherwise.

You can't change your personality, but you can change your behaviour! Be less defensive and more proactive.

You know, people do learn from their mistakes...

my moon is in the 8th house and i'm a virgo (🚩😈) i'm trying my best to sabotage my current relationship by telling him to stop talking to me. he should only talk to me september.

the main reason why we're still together is coz he refuses to follow my instructions.

that blasted aqua venus!

Posted by Klh1203

I always have failed relationships because I am too afraid to let people in, like I won’t ever contact them first they have to contact me first otherwise we won’t ever speak again, I refuse to show any interest because then that makes me look “desperate” and too “clingy” like I’m always afraid of coming across as desperate and clingy and it’s really annoying because so many failed relationships have happened because I am too reserved and they end up thinking I’m not interested. I’ve also been told that I ghost a lot also.

Is this deeper than star signs?

Or could it just be something to do with my Scorpio moon?

Anything with Scorpio seems to have an innate intensity that is matched by it's fear of "lack of control through intimacy". I would imagine a thought process of "I feel insecure, so this means they are not doing enough". Maybe accepting that feeling insecure is a regular thing, appreciating that this is a real feeling that isn't inherently bad, and some self regulation is in order would be best. Along with a possible need to try and appreciate more of what is actually fair to expect someone to be doing to pursue you and if they are already doing enough.

However, if he checked off the good looks (hotness) and provider of security (wealth/status) boxes you would probably be crazy with possession and jealousy...could be wrong...

I do the same and I think it’s a fixed moon thing. Too proud and stubborn to look desperate and clingy. Don’t wanna beg for anyone’s attention. Also, the fixed moons are more attracted to an organic connection where the frequency of contact is flows naturally, as opposed to feeling obligated.

I’ve been told by many people I’ve dated that there’s this wall up.

Posted by Klh1203

I always have failed relationships because I am too afraid to let people in, like I won’t ever contact them first they have to contact me first otherwise we won’t ever speak again, I refuse to show any interest because then that makes me look “desperate” and too “clingy” like I’m always afraid of coming across as desperate and clingy and it’s really annoying because so many failed relationships have happened because I am too reserved and they end up thinking I’m not interested. I’ve also been told that I ghost a lot also.

Is this deeper than star signs?

Or could it just be something to do with my Scorpio moon?

This has to do with self expression. Your hiding yourself. Why do you feel this way? What is the root of this insecurity?

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by Klh1203

I always have failed relationships because I am too afraid to let people in, like I won’t ever contact them first they have to contact me first otherwise we won’t ever speak again, I refuse to show any interest because then that makes me look “desperate” and too “clingy” like I’m always afraid of coming across as desperate and clingy and it’s really annoying because so many failed relationships have happened because I am too reserved and they end up thinking I’m not interested. I’ve also been told that I ghost a lot also.

Is this deeper than star signs?

Or could it just be something to do with my Scorpio moon?

This has to do with self expression. Your hiding yourself. Why do you feel this way? What is the root of this insecurity?

click to expand

I feel like I’m always rejected and I’m never good enough I don’t know why and I feel like men just get bored of you after a while like they always looking for the next best thing. I also feel like if I call or initiate conversation first that I’m bothering them. It’s a weird one.

Posted by Klh1203

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by Klh1203

I always have failed relationships because I am too afraid to let people in, like I won’t ever contact them first they have to contact me first otherwise we won’t ever speak again, I refuse to show any interest because then that makes me look “desperate” and too “clingy” like I’m always afraid of coming across as desperate and clingy and it’s really annoying because so many failed relationships have happened because I am too reserved and they end up thinking I’m not interested. I’ve also been told that I ghost a lot also.

Is this deeper than star signs?

Or could it just be something to do with my Scorpio moon?

This has to do with self expression. Your hiding yourself. Why do you feel this way? What is the root of this insecurity?

I feel like I’m always rejected and I’m never good enough I don’t know why and I feel like men just get bored of you after a while like they always looking for the next best thing. I also feel like if I call or initiate conversation first that I’m bothering them. It’s a weird one.

click to expand

Relationships are like a dance 💃. Both contribute to the action of the dance. If one does not, the dance falls apart. In the beginning, contributions are a sign of interest. As it progresses it becomes necessary to do so to maintain it. If things aren't working out and you do not feel strongly enough to work it out ...people move on. Or in rare cases change the nature of the relationship that best fits them.

With that being said, You don't sound ready for a healthy relationship. Either it's past drama & trama that your holding on to and is effecting your current judgement or self esteem issues. Either way you need to deal with these issues directly.

I know it's a cliche yet for you I think it's true. You need to work on yourself. Learn about yourself and then care for yourself like you would another person you love. Push this relationship stuff aside and figure out why you feel the way you do. You were not born this way. Something caused you to be this way. Find it, confront it, and undo it. Is it that simple? No but these are the basic steps.

if you keep doing something that bothers you, then just stop doing it.

it's a very simple thing. don't indulge in self-destruction.

(pisces to pisces)

Posted by Klh1203

I always have failed relationships because I am too afraid to let people in, like I won’t ever contact them first they have to contact me first otherwise we won’t ever speak again, I refuse to show any interest because then that makes me look “desperate” and too “clingy” like I’m always afraid of coming across as desperate and clingy and it’s really annoying because so many failed relationships have happened because I am too reserved and they end up thinking I’m not interested. I’ve also been told that I ghost a lot also.

Is this deeper than star signs?

Or could it just be something to do with my Scorpio moon?

I relate with this 100% , and also have Scorpio moon.

it is not you ... if they are the right person you won't feel reserved or clingy or have any of these doubts, it will come naturally to you..

learn to love yourself, and everything else will fall into place

Those scorpio bits make you a loner too. Im a scorp sun virgo moon aqua rising. Let me tell you something. Monday i went to hang out with some college buddies. They weren't mad or funny acting with me. They embraced me while putting something on my mind. "We haven't seen you in 4 years. You need to come around more."

That shocked me because i had not even noticed it was that much time between our last get together. I usually just be off, doing my own thing. We do have to make better effort. Any relationship takes the effort of both parties. I'm taking my own advice because i dont want another 4 years to pass without spending time with my loved ones. Gotta balance out loner time and loved ones time.

Posted by Gobby

Posted by TxOgal

it is not you ... if they are the right person you won't feel reserved or clingy or have any of these doubts, it will come naturally to you..

learn to love yourself, and everything else will fall into place

Just like in a slushy Hollywood movie. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...

click to expand

only scorpio mooners can relate

I don’t have any Scorpio but my wall is as tall as the eiffel tower

Posted by LittleStar_II

Posted by TxOgal

Posted by Gobby

Posted by TxOgal

it is not you ... if they are the right person you won't feel reserved or clingy or have any of these doubts, it will come naturally to you..

learn to love yourself, and everything else will fall into place

Just like in a slushy Hollywood movie. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...

only scorpio mooners can relate

He is one though? Lol

click to expand

doesnt act like it lol

Posted by Gobby

Posted by TxOgal

Posted by Gobby

Posted by TxOgal

it is not you ... if they are the right person you won't feel reserved or clingy or have any of these doubts, it will come naturally to you..

learn to love yourself, and everything else will fall into place

Just like in a slushy Hollywood movie. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...

only scorpio mooners can relate

And I've come across many accounts by other mooners that would counter-argue what you've said...

click to expand

its ok to disagree .. its just the sarcasm that doesnt do it for me