50/50 in relationships (no kids)?

I was talking to a gf about expectations in a relationship pre kids/no kids. She said that she's heard more than once that 50/50 financially can turn it into a brother/sister thing over time. I've heard this too.

We talked about a ratio split like 60/40, 70/30 etc.What are your thoughts and experiences?

I think it's up to you and your partner, ultimately

It's really rare that both parties would be making the same exact salary. There's gonna be someone who makes more, sometimes significantly more. Which means it likely that the financial split is not 50/50, especially if its not feasible for the lower earning party to contribute that 50% .

There are other ways to contribute to the household though that are just as valuable, if not more so, than money. Imo.

She said it became like a roommate situation. She made more money than him as well. Not sure if that played a part.

I wonder, do men really want a 50/50 situation, or a woman that makes more?

I personally like a guy to be older and more established than myself while of course, holding my own. That attracts me, as I'm sure a "hot" woman attracts a man. It's hard to explain, and I wonder if our natural gender roles and biology have anything to do with it.

I have an old fashioned opinion on this subject. The man should pay more, especially if the woman makes significantly less.. Now if the woman is the sugar mama then obviously she pays more. I see all kinds of different ways couples go about this. Some is the man paying for everything , some the woman pays for everything, some 50/50, some 80/20 etc .. What I see the most is the man paying more

You pay some bills, he pays other. You buy food and cook for one week, he does the same for the next week. Alternative paying for restaurants, cinema tickets, cleaner, etc.

Forget the "hotness", it doesn't last. If you are a parasite, sooner or later he is going to resent it, unless he is one of those workaholics, control freaks, who has more money than sense.

Posted by Sagmoonlyfe
Why does it change into a brother sister over time?

LOL. The other question is even more asking to be asked: Will your "old fashion" relationship become a host and parasite, or dad and wee little girl (until you are 30)?

Posted by Undine

Posted by Sagmoonlyfe
Why does it change into a brother sister over time?

LOL. The other question is even more asking to be asked: Will your "old fashion" relationship become a host and parasite, or dad and wee little girl (until you are 30)?

click to expand

I don't know about "host and parasite", that seems really harsh and sounds like he doesn't get anything back. Although, if the ages were same or similar, I could see why 50/50 would be more common.

Some men like being able to provide though, it makes them feel manly. Actually, most men I know want to and would happily if they could. Culture probably affects this too.

It's not harsh in this day and age!

I also know a few men who did it a few decades ago (kept an unemployed woman) only to bitterly regret it.

Paying someone to have sex with (and other chores) does not make one manly. Just stupid.

Posted by Undine
It's not harsh in this day and age!

I also know a few men who did it a few decades ago (kept an unemployed woman) only to bitterly regret it.

Paying someone to have sex with (and other chores) does not make one manly. Just stupid.

Were these unemployed women stay at home moms?

I agree that it would be too much to "keep" an unemployed woman, especially if the man was struggling financially as is.

I know a rich guy who does this happily because his wife is super hot. They seem happy and have a kid now. Been together for over 15 years.

As the other poster said, everyone's arrangement is different.

Not necessarily mums. It's easier to provide for one person than for a family. Such men get almost always burnt after a divorce, which invariable happens when they decide to pay less "spending fee" to the lazy at home.

I hope that women aspire to get an education and a good job, not wait for a "provider" to look after them. Most likely it won't happen. Men became wiser, they cannot ignore the fact that half marriages end in divorce.

Take charge, do not depend on others.

With kids, eomen fo more work. With no kids , ad long as they make enough to. Covrr tge bills they contributeca certsin amount to a joint account and pay the bills.

Posted by SunMoonStars
I was talking to a gf about expectations in a relationship pre kids/no kids. She said that she's heard more than once that 50/50 financially can turn it into a brother/sister thing over time. I've heard this too.

We talked about a ratio split like 60/40, 70/30 etc.What are your thoughts and experiences?

1. I have my brother helping me with 70/30. Guess what with help I can do other things like pay bills earlier, go to school finally, or work on getting our first house by next year.

2. I had the whole I do it myself in a relationship with my ex for along time. I don't do that anymore. But pull your own weight I will match it somehow, someway.

3. In my childhood my parents were working parents both of them. I pretty much watched my parents do the same thing which was provide a roof, clothes, food and the rest on your own. Nothing was never turned off but worked alot to keep a healthy later in life lesson. Which is become an adult and independent, and do what you have to to make sure everything is on going. Don't stop working is the motto.