cheat in relationship

hi everyone,i think i don't really understand the word cheat?maybe to me is a normal thing from any human being?cos the act of cheating is the most horrible thing that can happen to any human being...why do people say they love each other and get to cheat on each other later....it is really scring to love and found out that ur mate is cheating on you...but why.....pls come with real ideas

Cheating is an act of being lazy. Cheating is when for one reason or another an individual loses something in a relationship and seeks it out from others. Unfortunatly when a person cheats in a relationship it's because they don't respect the other. I have never cheated and refuse to put myself in any situation to cheat on the one I love. I enjoy the relationship ideal. I want someone to want me as much as I want them. IF for any reason I'm not getting my fill, I will end the relationship before I look else where. It's important to have good comunication skills in relationships and it's important to be creative and keep the other happy emotionally and physically.

I noticed alot of people don't have those morals.Whats human to you or me in not cheating is normal to other people who cheat and blames thier "problems" such as people not liking them too well cause they cheated or helped someone else cheat on society traditions.However societies "traditions" and POV is commonly the reverse where cheating is okay and they're actually the "majority".

I will end the relationship before I look else where. It's important to have good comunication skills in relationships and it's important to be creative and keep the other happy emotionally and physically.

Absolutely! It's like people can not wait to start something else before they end a relationship- I think cheating occurs when people get used to one another in a relationship and don't want to put in the work to keep it going- though that is no excuse. The worst part of getting cheated on is that feeling that the other person is trying to pull one over on you and does not respect you enough to just end it and move on. Quite honestly, I would rather have someone tell me that they don't love me anymore or don't want to be with me anymore than have them tell me that they've been cheating on me for some time. However, most of the time the situation is more complicated because that person may still love you or at least still care for you and see you as security. I have never cheated and it's been a long time since I've had that feeling that I was being cheated on.

why do people say they love each other and get to cheat on each other later.

coz of their low self-esteem 😛

their low self-esteem


i had some people in mind who cheated on their spouse/GF-BF coz of their super LOW self-esteem...

I think that all of this is a bit idealistic. I think that anyone can be driven to cheat, its just a matter of circumstance and how severe they are.

I was always a person who could say that I had never cheated, and I looked down my nose at anybody who did and was like "how could you DO that and SAY you love someone"??

Think of a person with a spouse who uses withholding sex as a weapon and withholds it for months on end from a person with a fairly healthy libido. If that person cheats, do you think they still don't love the person they are with? Its one of those roads that I think we have to walk down ourselves before getting a good perspective of how complex of an issue that it can be.

Be with someone who literally drives you to the point of cheating over and over and over.......resist each time....over a period of YEARS. If you can accomplish this, then you can truly say what you "would never do".

thanks alot everyone,cos u are great people around the world,just mr nice who thinks i'm a cheat for no good reasons,anyway mr nice i'm a cancerian male...and not a fag or gay...moreso i think people have been very open minded with there experiences..i think i ask question cos i want to know and learn frm people..maybe frm there experiences nd probably frm there mistakes.if u want me to ask u more questions or want to chat personally,u can meet me for a chat on manyspider_27...ok?thanks all ya..keep coming with ideas...cos cheating in relationship is an issues that concerns all...

0SuzieQ0, i totally agree with you!!

I agree with jrusssou..........we can all live in black and white land where such and such is bad and such and such is good. I prefer to live in the land of "gray" - where nothing is too bad or nothing is too good....it's just an experience - cheating comes in many disguises....am I cheating if I watch a porn film and get off on it even though I have lovely sexy guy at home that takes care of my every need?...am I cheating if I meet ex for drinks and friendly talks?, am I cheating if I talk to my best pal's boyfriend...and go for a drink with him......to talk about her?.....am I cheating if I kiss ex.....am I cheating if I sleep with someone with whom I have no bond/connection just for my physical needs......? even though I love and am bonded with someone else but their behaviour is unacceptable to me at this present moment in time?!!!!Am i cheating if I am having sex with my beauty but am thinking of someone else in fantasy land at the time to achieve that extra high? Am I? Am I a cheat? Or am I just being human - ? I don't know the answer to these questions. I just know these questions run through my mind and I think they may run through everyone's even though some deny it..........


the don't know it all girl...and don't want to know it all....girl.

Alana x

The issue I have with cheating is the DISHONESTY.
I'm one of those people who has to WATCH when I'm getting a needle because I don't want the surprise of the pain.

In the same way, I like to be in a 100% honest relationship whether it's COMMITTED -or- OPEN. I'd LOVE for some guy to come to me for a change and say, "Babe, you know I love you, but there's this chick I'm really interested in. I don't want to go behind your back, but I want to spend time with her and see how it goes." Cuz, while I might be sad, or disappointed I would be SO HAPPY with the honesty. At least give a person a chance to make an informed decision. Let them have the opportunity to choose whether they want to be with you while you're with someone else or not. They also might have had their eye on someone else but didn't act on it out of RESPECT for YOU and your RELATIONSHIP.

The reason why I don't respect people who cheat is because you're not giving your partner the chance to choose whether they want to be with you or not if you're going to pursue others -whether it's just for sex or something more serious. To me it seems cowardly and selfish. The cheater is too busy worrying about getting what they want(new/different sex, etc.) and trying not to lose what they already have (committed relationship). They usually want to have the back up plan if the new "thingy" doesn't work out or give them as much as the old relationship.

But I DO think that any relationship can work if you are HONEST with each other whether your relationship is COMMITTED or OPEN.

i think you can cheat on many levels - emotionally and phycially but it all depends on ur state of mind when u're doing whatever -

- sure u can go out with an ex and have coffee and talk - i still chill with my ex but i have no feelings for him - i love him like i love my girlfriends - we just click very well with each other but not in a romantic way - i'm not even attracted to the guy anymore - i don't think hanging with him would be considered cheating because i'm not interested in him

-i also think there are different levels of cheating but those are more accepted - for example: of course when i watch porn and satisfy myself i am to a degree cheating , even flirting is to a dgree considered cheatin in my book

but here's the thing - i feel that once u're honest and open with stuff like that with ur partner it all ok - i agree with leo/virgo75 - u should let ur partner kno- at least that way u let them choose whether or not these are things they can accept - if they can still be with u if u decide u wanna make out with that hottie next door or jus plain f&&k that hotte's brains out- hey some ppl are ok with sharing their partners -

i flirt and i watch porn sometimes but it's not a secret from my partner - i am open - i think ppl that cheat and keep it from their partners are selfish - they are cowards - they only care bout they're satisfaction - i think if u love ur partner or even respect them u wud have the deceny to at least be honest with them - "Omission is betrayal" from little blackbook

i've never cheated but if i did i think i would either tell my partner or jus break up with them (no one deserves to be cheated on)

"The reason why I don't respect people who cheat is because you're not giving your partner the chance to choose whether they want to be with you or not if you're going to pursue others -whether it's just for sex or something more serious. To me it seems cowardly and selfish. The cheater is too busy worrying about getting what they want(new/different sex, etc.) and trying not to lose what they already have (committed relationship). They usually want to have the back up plan if the new "thingy" doesn't work out or give them as much as the old relationship."

-i completely agree...and i completely understand

leo/virgo75 is very smart

naughty naughty boy, greatbull

i agree with being honest/open and allowing the other person, out of respect, the choice of whether or not they can handle an open relationship....

as to the cheating itself....i've never done it coz i don't want it to happen to me - what goes around comes around. and unfortunately these days that also comes with STDs. as i once told an ex, one of my few rules is, if you've cheated on me, you need to tell me, if you care about me at all. coz now it's a health issue, not only an emotional one.

i heard somewhere that 60% of men cheat (and women have increased to 40% in recent years). i wonder if that's an innate thing coz in neanderthal times (lol, how appropriate), in order to preserve the race men had to mate with several females and increase the population to survive. even today, with our evolved selves there are still many of those innate traits in men. take for example the older man going for a woman 20 yrs younger. we shake our heads but men may be genetically programmed to be attracted to a younger female subconsciously for fertility reasons (surely it can't be because they have so much in common, lol). the relatively new thing of the older woman/younger man thing when it first came to light was viewed as more abnormal. why? because traditionally speaking women had to look for a male provider (the hunter that brings the food back to the cave) to ensure their survival, and that of their offspring. in today's world women don't need a provider anymore coz they are able to provide for themselves, that's why it seems more unnatural. although the power of the media has now made the older woman/younger man combo more mainstream.

sorry, didn't mean to go on but this sort of stuff interests me 🙂

jrussou -

You're right. Of course I wouldn't want to hear that from someone I've been with for 15 years but I would **PREFER THAT** to having to "find out" that he slept with someone else. I mean after 15 years I'd say that I had earned the right to know whether or not my significant other wants to be with other people rather than have him disrespecting my feelings and our relationship by sneaking behind my back. And what the hell kind of person am I with if after 15 DOGGONE YEARS I have to "find out" stuff about them? Why would I even have to look, snoop or play detective? If we're MARRIED then I should be able to trust them without question and that includes them letting me know if they wanna be with someone else. Cuz, honestly, there's a good chance that *both* spouses are itchin but ONE may have more respect than the other and choose not to OR choose to be honest about it.

You're also right that it could mean an "instant divorce" but when you're an adult you have to live with the consequences of your actions. Lying and keeping secrets are for people who don't want to deal with consequences. If you don't want to damage your relationship and you know that cheating would do it, then you shouldn't cheat. If you still want to, then your partner has a right to know because they are also in the committed relationship WITH you. Besides the morality of the question there are also things like STD's and pregnancy that can happen no matter how careful you think you're being. And I'd like to know if my partner is risking giving me a permanent or fatal disease or possibly adding on to the number of children he's responsible for. Not to mention the drama of the "other woman" or "other man" and how they might be. There's no shortage of mentally unstable people in the world and most of them are insecure enough to want to fuk with another person's spouse just for the drama and the "I had your man/woman" factor of it.

Totally agree with you leo/virgo75. Its also a fairness factor - If you think the other person in the relationship is being faithful & therefore put aside your wants & 'lusts' out of respect for the relationship & then find out your partner is cheating that is just unfair - if he is going to be sleeping around in the relationship well I want to know so I know where we stand.

What's cheating?

Can you define what the word means to me, then I will be able to answer.

Here is Wikipedia for you 🙂

Cheating
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
Cheating is defined as an act of deception, fraud, trickery, imposture, or imposition. Cheating characteristically is employed to create an unfair advantage, usually in one's own interest, and often at the expense of others. Cheating implies the breaking of rules. The term "cheating" is less applicable to the breaking of laws, as illegal activities are referred to by specific legal terminology such as fraud or corruption. Cheating is a primordial economic act: getting more for less, often used when referring to marital infidelity.


Cheating (biology)
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
Cheating, also known as exploitation, between organisms is a form of parasitism or specialized predation in which an organism engages in what appears to be a mutualistic relationship with another organism, but does not in fact provide any benefit to the other organism. The relationship between the organisms may be symbiotic, in which case cheating is a form of parasitism, or non-symbiotic, in which case cheating is a form of predation or herbivory.

Cheating is often found in situations where there are generalized non-specific mutualisms between broad classes of organisms, such as the relationship between flowering plants and animal pollinators or between mycorrhizal fungi and plants

Tee Hee 🙂

"Cheating implies the breaking of rules"

Awwww, the breaking of rules. Who's rules? Does this imply that ONE of partnership has the power to put a rule in place, and the other HAS to obey?

Like jurussou said, "Rules are artificial ideas that people make up"

If you make a rule that's contrary to your partners belief system, then you set yourself up to fail. There is no such thing as cheating, only in one person's mind, because they won't let go when the partner wants out.

hi everyone,i think all ya r great people all about this issues,cos old or young is involved in cheating,let me say cheating is a big issue why from observation i think the very big thing about all this is control...we all don't have control at least to a point in everyone....let me just say we all cheat...but too some level for some who can still control on whatever grounds..maybe if u don't try to cheat you may never know how to love..cos an adage says...there's is always time to cheat in relationship.moreso i think i agree with scorp5pt0,leo/virgo75 and moonchild8....who feel much like i feel,and u mr nice try to chaet several more maybe u will have a feel or know how to love..thanks...still come with more ideas

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love it how people try and "rationalize" cheating on someone. I've read "What is cheating?" "How do you define cheating?" "Is that really concerned cheating" HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! Oh for Pete's Sake already! Cheating is when you have you have an intimate (physical/emotional/ whatever) involvement with someone other then who you are committed too. For heaven sakes there no gray area here, it's very black and white.

LOL, maybe it's because of my sign ... I see most situations in black or white -- either it is or it isn't. Trying to go between makes things too complicated.

hmmm, the only people who are scared of commitment are those who fear responsibility -- at least that's my experience. There's no way around it ... commitment responsiblility, they go together like seeds and vegetation

"people who are scared of commitment are those who fear responsibility"

Bullshit . . there are plenty of reasons why people might not want to be in a committed relationship, other than fear. One for instance may be the other persons view of 'cheating', for example. Maybe the other person wants to put too many rules in place and make him obey to her expectations and not let him have chioces, yet, he could be the most responsibile person in the world in other areas, where someone isn't trying to command him. That's absurd to suggest that there's only ONE reason and no gray areas. Life holds many options and to believe that there is only one . . is being pretty narrow.

Cheating means different things to different people. For example:

A man has sex with another woman while in a relationship and his girlfriend believes he's cheated on her.

This girlfriend only sleeps with her boyfriend once every couple weeks, to him, he's being cheated out of releasing his sexual tension because he believed his girlfriend when she told him she would take care of his needs . . but, isn't. She's cheating him.\


If you try to make someone obey your rules, then you will get hurt and hurt bad because there are two people in a relatioship and not just the person making the rules. Men feel cheated in ways that women never even stop to ponder . . who's the insensitive one, then, really?

Agreed jrussou.

There are all kinds of different cheating.

If I loved my man more than anything in the world and slept with ONLY him . . . but, had sexual desires for another man . . that's cheating. May be only mental, but, it's still thinking about someone else sexually.

If I did myself everyday with a toy and then pushed my husband away when he wanted some . . that would be cheating, because he is being cheated out of something.

If your man did everything that was necessary to get his woman off, but, lacked in passion and desire . . then the woman is being cheated out of something she needs to feel loved.

So, the word cheating has many meanings. There are two people in a relationship.

How about this one . . .

If the man eats his woman (which he will do everytime in most cases), but, she won't give head, except once in a great while . . . he's being cheated out of something.

The meaning is NOT just black or white . . . the meaning of the word is not just as the woman percieves it . . the man will process that word differently and he IS apart of the relationship and has a choice too.

CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP P-Angel you are a GODDESS!!!! You will be able to catch and keep a man foreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeever t hinking like that! Good points! Bravo!

so do u think cheating is a virus that can stop or not?

"so do u think cheating is a virus that can stop or not?"

lol, have you not been listening to the responses?

oh yes.....the things people will say too keep someone after they have been caught....

besides all the ..id never do that again shit and i love u and u are the only person that makes me happy and we belong together bullshit...my ex has went so far to thinking i need to see a therapist to help me with my trust issues...sending me psychology articles on how to trust again and shit like that. i told her if i go to get help for my issues then where do u go to learn to not act like a whore.

no...she never wanted to lose me im sure of that. her passion is for the world at large(sag rising)...my passion is shared with the person i am with.

it just makes me never want to open up again...screw everybody

ok ...so i feel that way now and i know it will change, but its not so easy.

TOOL
the patient ?
A groan of tedium escapes me,
Startling the fearful.
Is this a test? It has to be,
Otherwise I can't go on.
Draining patience, drain vitality.
This paranoid, paralyzed vampire act's a little old.

But I'm still right here
Giving blood, keeping faith
And I'm still right here.

Wait it out,
Gonna wait it out,
Be patient (wait it out).

If there were no rewards to reap,
No loving embrace to see me through
This tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.
Gonna wait it out.

If there were no desire to heal
The damaged and broken met along
This tedious path I've chosen here
I certainly would've walked away by now.

And I still may ... (sigh) ... I still may.

Be patient.
I must keep reminding myself of this.

And if there were no rewards to reap,
No loving embrace to see me through
This tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.
And I still may.

Gonna wait it out.

anal sex isn't cheating

ya think?

sometimes

yeah ..i think u and the person that the anal sex is being done with...would be the only ones who would think that wasnt wrong.

that'd be nice, but i can't speak for the woman getting the surprise

so its gonna be a premeditated surprise huh? sneaky sneaky

the anal sex or the cheating?

id get a verbal or nonverbal o.k. before popping that in there......

i'd consider it, but i can't promise i'll remember

most definitely....and if u think it isnt...u might be doing it wrong.lol

nah, it's about as casual as a plutonic hug

maybe if your really small or something 🙂

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS RIGHT OR WRONG, JUST POPULAR OPINION!

cheater's get this...

jason foote from Toronto...
www.jasonfoote.blogspot.com

my guilty pleasure. a secret.

people need to be warned..