Debatable theory

This theory at 1st sounded bogus but when I really started thinking deeply about it, I wasn't so sure if I was completely against it or not.

The theory: Any men or women who are together/have a family & cheat are BAD PARENTS.

Why? B/c everyone knows how cheating can & normally DOES destroy the family dynamic/structure, once found out. And anyone who is willing to engage in ANY activity or behavior that can contribute to the falling of their family structure is NOT a good parent.

This book gave many different examples:
1. The woman who leaves her child in a running car is NOT a good parent simply b/c she took the risk of endangering her child & subjecting them to horrible conditions (death, or extreme bodily harm)

2. The man who gambles all of the family's money away to feed his gambling addiction is NOT a good parent b/c he choose to spend the rent/electric bill money on anything other than priority, which in turn results in the family structure possibly getting evicted or food being taken from those children's mouths.

3. The man/woman who cheats, gets caught & thus ends up in a nasty divorce, which in turn affect the children horribly.

The theory explains that any parent who is consciously willing to subject their family to potential heartbreak or unnecessarily bad conditions is NOT a good parent.

Think of the difference b/w 2 parents who divorced b/c they stopped loving eachother & had enough respect to leave eachother before cheating VS. the couple that divorces b/c daddy or mommy got caught screwing some stripper. Although ALL divorces negatively affect children, some are nastier than others & if any parent is willing to consciously make a decision that can result in any harm done on their own children, how can they be considered a good parent?

I'm NOT saying that I agree whole-heartedly with this theory, but I must say that I don't totally disagree with it either!

Take Arnold's mistress maid for an example.

B/c of HER conscious decision to be Arnold's mistress, she ended up having a love child, which in turn resulted in all kinds of negative press & consequences for her family.

Before the affair was found out, she may have been seen as a GREAT mother, but once the story broke, people are starting to think differently.

Sure, she may have been an amazing cook, provider & role model to her children when they did NOT know of her true character & behavior behind closed doors.

BUT, can we really say that she's a good parent after knowing that she made a conscious decision to engage in behavior that ultimately will cause her & Arnold's "love child" to be subjected to great criticism and/or even harm?

What about the drug addict who is a great mother in all OTHER areas other than when her addiction starts to take over? While on drugs she may be a great provider & role model to her children, BUT once she overdoses or gets arrested, the dynamic changes b/c she's now just subjected her children to great ridicule, instability & possibly even harm. So is it safe to say that a drug addict is a bad parent?

Whether or not we humans are considered "good people" in general relies on the TYPES of decisions/choices we make in life. And the author of the book was saying that the same concept oughta apply to parents.

Just b/c their children aren't aware YET (keyword) of their parent's short comings or consequences to their actions doesn't change the fact that their behavior has the POTENTIAL to cause the family dynamic/structure to crash/fall down

Posted by Lena282
So it's more about being a bad example for your children, and putting them through grief/drama that could have been avoided. I see their point.

Exactly.

And cheating CAN absolutely subject your family to grief/drama that could've been avoided or ATLEAST less dramatic had you not cheated or left the relationship altogether instead of cheating.

Part of being considered a "good parent" is in how well of a role model you are to your children. How is it possible to be a good role model if you're a cheater or engaging in the same behavior that you'd be devestated persay your children were to repeat?