Do you think Facebook ruin relationships?

My bf added a FB friend of mine
(girl that I dont trust- nice to my face just to find out bout my romantic life)
I confronted him when I saw she was our mutual friend, he said he has no idea how it happened, yet I asked her and she sent me a screen print of my Bf requesting her friendship. He doesnt know htat yet, because I want to see what happens, he has removed her right away and told me he has no idea.

I feel uncomfortable with this and we had a fight and havnt spoken since.

Yeah i think it does. Because people be telling everything that goes on in their relationships on there nowadays. Then it unnecessary drama & fights because of what someone said or did on facebook. That's why i deleted my facebook. I rather keep my personal life private. I think if your bf loves you, he won't add or talk any women. At least he blocked her, so you got nothing to worry about. I think if you keep what goes on in your relationships & friendships offline, it can help a lot.

I think you should talk to your bf about your worrys. He probably didn't know it was your friend, but still he shouldn't be talking to other women, if he has you. Don't put anything personal about your relationships & friendships online ok. That way you can keep people out of your business. They only know as much as you tell them. Make sure you block her, because she may have sent him that friend request. What goes on in your family, relationships, or friendships, should stay there. I wish you the best ok

I deleted it however my Bf then told me why am I not on FB etc... and I never wanted to be friends w him on FB because I know what some people from my work are like.. etc...but he always was like why are we not friends etc.. it was stupid... so I added him... and look now ... I am the one confused and hurt...

yea he deleted her, but he was the one that requested her friendship.. what for? I dont get it.... he is not the type that adds anyone.. he doesnt really post stuff or do much on FB.. so I feel confused.

and out of all people not this girl.. i tried to not tell this girl and that group of girls anything bout my love life as they always wanted to know and I never get into it with them, because they gossip.. and my bf and I have been fighting lately .. so I was like oh no... why god? so now I feel so low.. I feel like they won.. because we are not talking and this girl has probably stalked the crap out of his fb etc.. and got tickets on her self that he added her. I am very proud woman and keep things to myself.

I dont really post things on fb apart for some fun things etc.. idk.. i feel kind of betrayed by my bf..
he took it all wrong when i confronted him.. he was defensive removed her but his way about it got me all worse now. ow I am thinking all these things.. its driving me crazy

just to make it clear, my Bf added this girl, not the other way around.. idk why, that is why I feel confused, it was recently and only for 2 days but regardless.. i dont know if he chated etc.. as he saz he has no idea how she became on his friends list, however i have a screen shot that he reuested her but he doesnt know that.

Posted by rubystar
just to make it clear, my Bf added this girl, not the other way around.. idk why, that is why I feel confused, it was recently and only for 2 days but regardless.. i dont know if he chated etc.. as he saz he has no idea how she became on his friends list, however i have a screen shot that he reuested her but he doesnt know that.

I've accidentally hit wrong buttons before on FB.

Not saying this is the case, but possible I suppose.

Anyway, yeah, there are better things for relationships than FB. It can be a Devil's Playground.

@rubystar, don't feel bad ok. You have every right to feel the way you do. You should have stuck to your guns & not added your bf. Why do that, if your already together. He shouldn't even be trying to talk to other girls or add them if he got a gf. You need to stand up for what you believe in. Talk to him & let him know how you feel & how your not going to put up with all this fighting. It's either you or that girl. He needs to decide. People only have as much power as you give them. You don't owe them girls nothing. Your relationship is between you & your bf. Not them, & not the world. Pray about it, & let God handle it. He surely will 🙂.

Probably just because. Guys usually add girls over guys and girls add guys over girls. Could be because he saw she was mutual friends with you and choose to add her. When you flipped, he probably denied it to save his ass from whatever trouble he inadvertently got himself into. Or he could have added her cause she looked pretty. In reality, it means nothing. Its just FB. I add pretty much anyone I've ever met just for networking. Others use it for a social outlet for friends and family, and some to look at pretty girl's.

I wouldn't worry about it, he did as you asked. Case close 🙂

thank you @blackindian3, appreciate it.. however we are not fighting about that... becasue he has removed her... he said he has no idea how she was on his friedns list... she is removed now.. he said to me: why would I do that when I know what you are like.. as to say I am crazy and would go crazy about it etc.. ( i felt hurt when he said that) thats why I am confused... i feel like .. I dont understand any of it.. he adds a my friend then I confronthim, he deltes her right away... then he defends he hasnt added her and doesnt know how it hpnd,.. then tells me why he would do such thing... when he knows I would go nuts about and tells me I am acting crazy atc.
I feel like.. I am acting lie any girl that loves her man... I was normal about at first untill e started to tell me I am over reacting which i wasnt and that he has no idea etc.. and then it escalated.

now we havent spoken for 2 days... and I have proof he added her but he doesnt know that.. he send me a msg next day saying :
I told you the truth last night... Why can't you ever beleive me.. Why always u push me.. I did nothing and I told u that... Why can't you ever beleive me and stop acusing and telling me different

but he hasnt said the truth becasue I got the screen shot of him requesting her friendship. do I tell hm about it or what do I do now..

this girl liked every single thing I posted on my fb, we used to even joke about it.. guess who like your post etc... and then when he tagged me in his post she would like as well.. I kind of never said anything as I didnt care... and then suddenly they are friends... this girl worked w me... and he used to send me flowers all the time at work.. and they always wanted to know more about my relationship to the point where she once told me... you know ... if you need to talk we are here for you.. and I used to think yea right.. you mean you want gossip....this group of girls I stay friends so I keep them closer... but I know what they are like... want to know everything and gossip hard....
she is ambitious girl... not that that matters but she wants to get into places and he has connections trough some people that I know she would like to get in touch with etc.. so I get why she always liked my pics and when he posted things on my fb too.. but she didnt add him.. unless she msgd him etc and then he added her.. but why would he do that ... I am trying to think of all angles before I can conclude it and make my next move because I dont want to say sorry because I did nothing wrong but I know he is waiting for that.. and hence why no contact for days...

I'm curious, why do you have someone you don't seem to like or trust on your FB? And yes, show him the proof 🙂

O.m.g....

Let.it.go

?!?!?!?!

well at first I did trust them.. but hten I saw how they behave etc.. but then we wor together and yea I guess one thing lead to another and I have them as fb friends.. i will delete my fb all together in due time..

yea let it go right... just do that and then one day yI end up like an idiot

Much like guns

Facebook doesn't ruin people. People ruin people.

true my friend .. true

@rubystar just talk to your bf about this & squash this BS. If he's not lying, he'll be able to look you dead in the face & admit the truth. Show him the proof. It's either you or those girls. He can't have both. At least you give a damn about your relationship. If he blocks her & the other women or doesn't talk to them; then you should trust him more ok. When i had FB, i actually had women i was friends with in HighSchool add me, but they had relationships. I kept my distance & i eventually deleted mines because i see the fights that start over FB & people get shot her at clubs because of what someone said. To me, it's not worth it

@rubystar Well i hope everything turns out good for you. You follow what your heart tells you ok

@rubystar Dustbunny has a good points too definitely. Just stick to your guns & talk to your bf about everything like i said.

@dustbunny... thanks for your advice.. and everyone thank you...
I do feel like I should stick it out and not give in.. but i feel maybe I over reacted...

when I called him the night I found out... and said to him calmly.. how come you are friends with such and such.. etc
he was surprised etc and said had no idea.. and was like what ? wait let me see etc...
I instantly msg her and said we were both wondering how she was friends with him and she then sent me the screen shot etc and said.. maybe he did it by accident and that she accepted him to be polite becasue he is my bf etc.. and said to me.. he should delete me etc... when I got that msg from her I had this feeling of... she felt smug and all easy about it.. idk it was weird gut feeling. anyway...
I asked him for his fb pw and he gave it to me after 10 mins etc... and in the meantime he sent me a screenshot of him removing her but I can tell that anyway cause I can see our mutual friends so I dont really know why that mattered s I can see that... so when i did log into his fb there was no sign of him adding her on his activity log.. but i guess once you remove the person it doenst appear or you can delete it on the activity log not sure... anyway.. i do have the proof of it.. but he doesnt know yet...

after all that he changed the pw .. and i asked him why(during this 1hr of back and forth...we fought)
he said he changed it casue he knows I will go on about it and look for thigns etc. which i found strange and weird... so what right... at that point I just said you know what I dont want your pw and I want nothing to do with this now.... and the next day he sents me a msg saying :

I told you the truth last night... Why can't you ever beleive me.. Why always u push me.. I did nothing and I told u that... Why can't you ever beleive me and stop acusing and telling me different.

to which i was a smart ass because I felt something was missing here.

so I am not sure what is going on.. but I know we were fighting and am starting to think did I over react, did I stuff up all of it.. should I get over it etc

@rubystar this is my last input on this, if your bf is still treating you good like he did before this happened, then let it this crap go. If his behavior towards you changes, then you'll know something is up. If he says he knows nothing & did nothing wrong & his actions reflect that, then believe him ok. Don't let this kill a rather good relationship alright. You two talk, & come to a agreement. Leave your relationship out of FB & don't tell your friends any of you two's business. If they ask how you two are doing, say "it's all good" with a smile. You take Care ok

People ALLOW Facebook to ruin their relationships. Once upon a time, you knew who gave a fuck about you because Facebook did not exist, so they would bother to look for and be involved with you IN REAL LIFE. If my Facebook had my real name, I daresay I'd be added by people who made things a pain in the ass for me. Why would they give a shit about me now when they didn't before?

Posted by GreyRobe
yes. Delete facebook and form natural relationships. I can't believe how dumb human beings are.

you are cool.

Social media is such a bittersweet.

Tizini.. what are they as your opinion... I want to see if I feel the same

triplecap I agree with you... they have been trying to get info about my relationship for so long... and I guess I acted out of a spur moment..

@triple cap.. also.. when she sent that.. I just replied saying.. no worries hun.. and that day it was a nice sunny day and i just said enjoy this sunshine hun..
and she didnt reply hehe yet she keeps liking my pics on fb .

the only thing is that... we are due to go for a brunch this week.. her and other girl.. and I go just for the sake of it to keep them close.. so they dont suspect anything...but I know they just want to get the gossip alltho i never say anything, but I guess to see how I act etc.. so I am thinking of canceling it.. I am realising why put my self trough this when I know how I feel about them, dont need to keep them close hey.

@aquavita.. I get what you men and it possibly could be like that... I guess I will see what to do but for now I might just not give it too much air as it starting to consume me... my bf wants me to say sorry to him because he feels accused and I feel uneasy bout that.. so i will see.

Well if you're going to mention you're in a relationship with such person, you are really asking for problems. Why the need to rub your happiness in the face of the entire world? You know the world is made of sharks that if they cannot have what you have, will be more than happy to destroy it.

Common sense, be discreet.

Posted by AfternoonDelights22
Much like guns

Facebook doesn't ruin people. People ruin people.

I was about to lambaste you then I realized that you are right.
If I friend my lover, I need to be sensitive to the fact that he will see that I am flirting with other guys. So I need not be flirting with other guys on the internet.

Facebook doesn't ruin relationships. It's people insecurity and stupidity that ruins relationships.

So what if someone likes someone's status. So what if some friends someone else. So what if somone comments on your man's status.

Just like in real life, You can't control what someone does, all you can do is observe how your man handles someone else's actions, then control your own reactions. If someone posts an inappropriate comment, does he respond, ignore, encourage, put down, flirt, etc. That's what matters.

I don't see what the friggin deal is. Trust your man or don't. Either way, grow up or get off Facebook. Yes, it's THAT simple.

Geesh!!!!

Posted by rubystar
just to make it clear, my Bf added this girl, not the other way around.. idk why, that is why I feel confused, it was recently and only for 2 days but regardless.. i dont know if he chated etc.. as he saz he has no idea how she became on his friends list, however i have a screen shot that he reuested her but he doesnt know that.

This is the stupidest sh*t to fight about. So you are now wondering if he cheated JUST because he friended her on FB? How stupid is that. He said he didn't know how it happened, maybe he sent the friend request to someone else on your friends list and clicked her name by mistake....

You have no trust.

You are insecure.

That's what you're fighting about. It's nothing to do with Facebook.

Posted by rubystar
I am acting lie any girl that loves her man... ..

No you're not. You're acting childish and immature due to your insecurity.

Posted by rubystar
I told you the truth last night... Why can't you ever beleive me.. Why always u push me.. I did nothing and I told u that... Why can't you ever beleive me and stop acusing and telling me different

but he hasnt said the truth becasue I got the screen shot of him requesting her friendship. do I tell hm about it or what do I do now..

click to expand

Pathetic. You have no trust.

I've seen the list of "people you might know" and try to swipe back out of it and accidentally hit the 'send friend request button' OOPS.

It hasn't dawned on you AT ALL that he MIGHT be telling the truth. You've already said that your friend was untrustworthy. She's enjoying stirring up the pot, just like you were afraid she would do.

Sad thing is, you're letting her and believing her over him.

Posted by Impulsv

Posted by rubystar
My bf added a FB friend of mine
(girl that I dont trust- nice to my face just to find out bout my romantic life)
I confronted him when I saw she was our mutual friend, he said he has no idea how it happened, yet I asked her and she sent me a screen print of my Bf requesting her friendship. He doesnt know htat yet, because I want to see what happens, he has removed her right away and told me he has no idea.

I feel uncomfortable with this and we had a fight and havnt spoken since.

How takes a scream shot before problems arise. Find that sneaky

click to expand

EXACTLY

Posted by dustbunny
ruby... I think you should not talk to this guy for sometime... stick to your argument and don't give in...

if he is blaming you for this and calling you nuts it means he is guilty of something and trying to make you look bad....

don't show him the print, just tell him that your friend said he had added her ... If he says no... ask him to open his mail(gmail... etc) the one he uses for Facebook.. it will have the friend request if she sent him...

If he doesn't show you his mail.. then show him the print screen and break up with him...

But thats if you want to break up...

I think she over-reacted. Seems like she went nuttily overboard here.

Posted by rubystar
@
after all that he changed the pw .. and i asked him why(during this 1hr of back and forth...we fought)
he said he changed it casue he knows I will go on about it and look for thigns etc.

What is strange and weird about that? He's right. You would and you know it.

Posted by tripleCap
@rubystar

I read everything you said and I believe your boyfriend.


I have received a couple of messages before stating so and so

has accepted your friend request, when in fact I had never

sent any requests. I think it's a fb glitch. It has also happened to

another friend of mine, so believe your boyfriend.



In my opinion, you should have never messaged your colleague.

You simply showed her your weak spot and gave her some ammo.


She's smug because she rocked the boat a bit since

you're private about your relationship and she is nosey.



I would never add ppl from work on fb. EVER.

+ one million

Posted by rubystar
@triple cap.. also.. when she sent that.. I just replied saying.. no worries hun.. and that day it was a nice sunny day and i just said enjoy this sunshine hun..
and she didnt reply hehe yet she keeps liking my pics on fb .

the only thing is that... we are due to go for a brunch this week.. her and other girl.. and I go just for the sake of it to keep them close.. so they dont suspect anything...but I know they just want to get the gossip alltho i never say anything, but I guess to see how I act etc.. so I am thinking of canceling it.. I am realising why put my self trough this when I know how I feel about them, dont need to keep them close hey.

Just delete your colleagues. Trouble makers, they are.

Yes, there are actually some statistical correlations b/w Facebook and relationship or even marital problems.

Social media has def. had its effects on our generation and the way we socialize, love and function. To deny that is just to flat out be in denial.

Does the website itself actually cause people to do disrespectful or disloyal things? Well of course not lol At the end of the day it's just a white and blue page on a computer screen.

However, human beings are still the same & always will be the same. Any time they are put in highly tempting situations, the risk for falling to temptation is much greater. Any time a large group of folks follow the same trend (even if it's bad---cheating for example), there will always be subconscious followers. Facebook is no different.

All of the things I see on Facebook are things that I consider to be highly tempting situations (hot girls...easy access to those hot girls...the easiness of being secretive...the easiness of passing someone's justified complaint off as insecurity b/c "it's just Facebook," The temptation to be whoever you want to be online even if your online 'persona' isn't how you act in person, etc. Facebook makes it easier for people to have/maintain/want a double life. No doubt about that.

At this point, a person's Facebook page, especially if they are very active is an active extension of themselves. This is the very reason employers observe social media pages before they hire you. It's b/c they know that the chances of you saying, doing or writing something that magnifies your strengths AND weaknesses are high. It's b/c they know that people are dumb enough to let their inner demons/bad behavior shine via social media...saves them a bunch of money & heartache...and CAN save a bunch of people from getting into the wrong relationships

If something that happens on Facebook would bother you in real life, then it's completely unfair & azzbackwards for someone to make you feel that disrespect is somehow less disrespectful just b/c the disrespect happened online...in front of all of your friends

Yes fb can ruin relationships, but at the same time I guess it's good to see how a person behaves whether you are in a relationship or considering a relationship with them. Their are some people on fb that I would never consider going on a date with based on what they say and the things they like (every near nude girls photos) haha.

1.Your man could of used fb from his phone and accidentally requested her whilst scrolling
2.She could have photoshopped the friend request (girls are get at photoshopping) lol
3.Your bf is a douche and doesn't give a fuck if he hurts you or not
4.He was just inquisitive as to why you hate her so much so added her to see what she was like
5.He did it to spite you
6.He's an idiot

Posted by rubystar

he said to me: why would I do that when I know what you are like.. as to say I am crazy and would go crazy about it etc..

.. then tells me why he would do such thing... when he knows I would go nuts about and tells me I am acting crazy atc.

I feel like.. I am acting lie any girl that loves her man... I was normal about at first untill e started to tell me I am over reacting which i wasnt and that he has no idea etc.. and then it escalated.


he send me a msg next day saying :
I told you the truth last night... Why can't you ever beleive me.. Why always u push me.. I did nothing and I told u that... Why can't you ever beleive me and stop acusing and telling me different

but he hasnt said the truth becasue I got the screen shot of him requesting her friendship. do I tell hm about it or what do I do now..

You sound very insecure. And he's right, you do act crazy.

There's nothing wrong with a guy being friends with females on fb.

The bottom line is that this doesn't even matter, because you are so jealous of him that you could find him talking to an ant and you'd likely fly off the handle. so, the problem is you.

And "no", you're not acting like a normal woman. You act like a little girl, though. Confident women who have values, trust and respect don't fly off the handle over trivial bullshit.

the writing on the wall here (which I fully realize you will continue to ignore because the truth of it is too real for you to handle) .... because you lack emotional control, he is forced to hide shit from you.

You create the way you are treated, you have taught him how to respond to you .... and because he knows that you won't handle life very well, he keeps things from you, so he doesn't have to endure your episodes like this - where you stop using your brain cells and flip out.

Quite Frankly, he's on his way out, and I would think any guy would dump you. You have way too much baggage, in where you can't even manage understanding that people are allowed to be friends.

Posted by exoskeleton

Posted by rubystar
I asked her and she sent me a screen print of my Bf requesting her friendship.

that's fishy. like she knew it would cause conflict.

click to expand

Yes, it is fishy ... but, it sounds more to be like the two girls did this as a conspiracy to try and fuck trap him with something ... because that is something a crazy/jealous woman would do.

I still can't believe this topic is real.

Facebook is one of the if not the best platform right now for marketing and services in general and people still use it for their relationship woes.