S...E...X

Oh boy, so my very good friend and I had sex after we had both been drinking. I can't stop thinking about it, I want more. Will this be the demise of our friendship if it continues? What a different sensation to be so close, but then to have an intimate encounter and just have your flesh on one another, such a... hmmm, I don't really have the words for it, but I can't stop thinking about it.

Knowing you're this hooked afterward?

If your friend doesn't share the same sentiment or feels as attached, then yep. Total demise.

Lol are you still drunk lol

I wouldn't say "hooked" is the right word or feeling, but it has definitely piqued my interest. Well, that's the interesting thing, is that we hang out all the time already, so I as of now, I'm just going to pretend that nothing happened. Though I'm curious and spouting my thoughts on this thread, I wouldn't dare ask, I'm horrible with communication.

Well sex with good friends throws up awkwardness usually. Are you gonna stay just friends now? or more? Or more sometimes? Or more mostly?

Ugh... Awkward!!!

How does one go from being THAT intimate to acting nonchalant and pretending nothing happened? You write well, I guess you can try writing a letter for him and express how you feel.

Posted by AriesGirl74
Lol are you still drunk lol

LOL

Posted by AesmaDaeva
How does one go from being THAT intimate to acting nonchalant and pretending nothing happened? You write well, I guess you can try writing a letter for him and express how you feel.

+ infinite. Maybe not a letter, but definitely you should tell him you want more!

I'd act like nothing happened... but, then again, I can detach pretty easy.

So, as no one has said this I will. Perhaps it is time you moved your "friendship" to a new level.

Hold up there Kindness!!! How does this fit with the story of your over-controlling cap?

When I say I want more, I'm referring to more sex. This is the same friend I posted about in a different thread asking "Where Did it Go"?

The chemistry and sparks have gone, and I don't want more from this person in regards to a relationship, only because I'm not feeling "that". However, it would be nice if it did work that way, as it just seems right. However, at this moment in time, it's just the physical bedroom action that is on my mind, and that I want more of.

Yes, I can detach very easily, so for me to pretend like nothing happened is rather easy, but after a few drinks, and being in the same room as him again, well... I'm not so sure if I'll be able to contain myself.

Oh Dofac, I am no longer in contact with the Cap, that ended pretty much the day I came on and posted that thread. I spoke to him a few times after that, and just couldn't do it. My switch already flipped and it was time for me to keep on moving.

Posted by dofacc
Hold up there Kindness!!!

lmao.

Good for you dumping Mr. Cap.

Hey, if you want something physical and nothing more, who am I to judge. It isn't like you will be the first nor the last to have felt lust.

How about just telling him that? Just sex OK? No feelings or anything LOL

See how that goes...

Aquapiscescusp: Yes, that is a good idea. I think for now though, I will just pretend nothing happened, and take it from there. Should we have another roll in the hay, then I'll bring up the friends with benefits convo... maybe.

The only problem I foresee with this, is should he develop feelings, I know I'll pull a disappearing act on him, and things won't be the same. So, though I want the physical benefits of this new "thing", I'm not sure it will be worth the risk of possibly losing someone so close to me in the long run. Not to say that WILL happen, but one must take into account the possible consequences of ones actions.

Posted by kindness
Aquapiscescusp: Yes, that is a good idea. I think for now though, I will just pretend nothing happened, and take it from there. Should we have another roll in the hay, then I'll bring up the friends with benefits convo... maybe.

The only problem I foresee with this, is should he develop feelings, I know I'll pull a disappearing act on him, and things won't be the same. So, though I want the physical benefits of this new "thing", I'm not sure it will be worth the risk of possibly losing someone so close to me in the long run. Not to say that WILL happen, but one must take into account the possible consequences of ones actions.

it WILL happen....if you care about him, it's not worth the risk

been there, done that...lost good friend...it will never be the same

If you're the typical chick who gets somewhat emotionally attached after having continual sex with a man, then don't screw him again.

Especially if you didn't have a romantic attraction to him before sex. Especially if he's not someone you could afford to accidentally get knocked up by (condoms tear and break).

Especially if you don't want to ruin your friendship or make it awkward (Sex can def. do this).

Especially if you'd feel some type of rejection or way if you caught feelings & learned that the romantic attraction wasn't mutual on his end.

Especially if you don't want to accidentally turn your "friend" status into "F buddy" status.

kysereen:

If you're the typical chick who gets somewhat emotionally attached after having continual sex with a man, then don't screw him again.

This isn't a problem for me, I'm able to detach in a way that is sometimes scary :-/

Especially if you didn't have a romantic attraction to him before sex. Especially if he's not someone you could afford to accidentally get knocked up by (condoms tear and break).

You bring up a very good point.

Especially if you don't want to ruin your friendship or make it awkward (Sex can def. do this).

For some odd reason, I'm think it being awkward is the last thing that it will be between the 2 of us. He's seen me batty and blue, to me, the aftermath of something like that is awkward.

Especially if you'd feel some type of rejection or way if you caught feelings & learned that the romantic attraction wasn't mutual on his end.

Not worried about this on my end.

Especially if you don't want to accidentally turn your "friend" status into "F buddy" status.

This, yes, is a concern. Though it's great that 2 great friends can possibly have the opportunity to be intimate as well, I'm worried that it will cheapen our bond.

Posted by CanadianMob

Posted by kindness
When I say I want more, I'm referring to more sex. This is the same friend I posted about in a different thread asking "Where Did it Go"?

The chemistry and sparks have gone, and I don't want more from this person in regards to a relationship, only because I'm not feeling "that". However, it would be nice if it did work that way, as it just seems right. However, at this moment in time, it's just the physical bedroom action that is on my mind, and that I want more of.

Yes, I can detach very easily, so for me to pretend like nothing happened is rather easy, but after a few drinks, and being in the same room as him again, well... I'm not so sure if I'll be able to contain myself.

Time for you to start playing with toys.

click to expand

Or be a hooked. You'd get all kinds of commitment free rolls in the hay and some good cash too.

Yeah, the thing with me though, is that I don't care to have sex with people I don't have any sort of connection with. I have had a few one nights stands, if you will, and I hated it.

Well it seems that you're not afraid of the emotional aspect of it. Seems that you're pretty confident that feelings won't get in the way or be the main problem. Not worrying about these things eliminates half the battle lol

So just contemplate safe sex & whether or not you're willing to take the risk of turning into a F buddy.

You'll never really know how things will turn out until they literally play out. So at this point, it's about whether or not you're willing to take that risk. We don't know him. We don't know you. You know him & you know yourself so really only you can decide whether or not you can afford to take that risk.

Besides it's not like you have to sleep with him continually. Getting 1 or 2 more fixes is not going to cheapen the bond unless feelings or other expectations come into the mix during those few times

Talk to him about it. See what he has to say about it. You'd be surprised, he might put all of this guessing to rest & tell you exactly how he sees it playing out lol

Posted by kindness
Yeah, the thing with me though, is that I don't care to have sex with people I don't have any sort of connection with. I have had a few one nights stands, if you will, and I hated it.

The last post said after a few drinks you wouldn't be able to control your desire to get pounded.

So...you need a connection, just not a deep one. I mean we gotta be able to walk away instantly right?

Posted by kindness
I wouldn't say "hooked" is the right word or feeling, but it has definitely piqued my interest. Well, that's the interesting thing, is that we hang out all the time already, so I as of now, I'm just going to pretend that nothing happened. Though I'm curious and spouting my thoughts on this thread, I wouldn't dare ask, I'm horrible with communication.

Yea...good luck with that^^^

When you cross the line of friendship..it either flourishes or completely dissipates. You can pretend all you want, women can't handle it. He on the other hand will be fine with it.

Difference between men & women^^^^

LetitB: "You can pretend all you want, women can't handle it. He on the other hand will be fine with it.

Difference between men & women^^^^"

You are generalizing the behavior of men and women. Perhaps most women can't handle sex without getting emotionally involved, detaching comes easy to me, so this isn't a concern of mine.

Posted by kindness
Aquapiscescusp: Yes, that is a good idea. I think for now though, I will just pretend nothing happened, and take it from there. Should we have another roll in the hay, then I'll bring up the friends with benefits convo... maybe.

The only problem I foresee with this, is should he develop feelings, I know I'll pull a disappearing act on him, and things won't be the same. So, though I want the physical benefits of this new "thing", I'm not sure it will be worth the risk of possibly losing someone so close to me in the long run. Not to say that WILL happen, but one must take into account the possible consequences of ones actions.

See now this is where the horseshit starts to pile up.
You or any woman are no exception to the rule, I don't care what you say. The ONLY exception is a woman who absolutely hates men due to being severely burned by one/many or truly has no clue that "friendship" does not mean you use each other up like a piece of meat. Friends don't do that to each other. Like I said..."friend" went out the window when you spread your legs. If you try and pretend or act like you don't care...you were never a friend to begin with. Please stop bullshitting yourself and others.
So stop bullshitting please.

Posted by kindness
LetitB: "You can pretend all you want, women can't handle it. He on the other hand will be fine with it.

Difference between men & women^^^^"

You are generalizing the behavior of men and women. Perhaps most women can't handle sex without getting emotionally involved, detaching comes easy to me, so this isn't a concern of mine.

Again..."concern" went out the window. Your choice. Don't be naive and expect things to be the same. They won't.

LetitB: " If you try and pretend or act like you don't care...you were never a friend to begin with. Please stop bullbutterting yourself and others.
So stop bullbutterting please."

I do care, of course I do, platonically. This is a very good friend of mine, and I care about persevering the friendship. Hence why I'm on this board discussing.

Perhaps you are right, things won't be the same, and we've opened pandoras box. Which has me leaning more towards not letting it happen again, because it would be like playing with fire. If there is no romantic potential here, why even tread these waters and put friendship at risk for sexual satisfaction. Thank you, your opinions and thoughts have been noted.

@LetItBe: I agree that a lot of women think they can handle it but can't.

However, there are billions of us on this planet. To whole-heartedly believe that every single 1 of them can't handle & have never been able to handle such a situation with a man is ludicrous & is over-generalizing taken too far lol

I personally know a few women who've done it, pulled it off & walked away like it never meant anything. Yes women are emotional, especially when intimacy is involved, but as a human being (not just a woman), a person can control which person gets the privilege of having their emotions.

Your mentality about women is outdated. Women have shown over & over again that they can think/act like "men" or not fit into the box men put them in, but yet you guys still refuse to acknowledge that all women aren't the same, even though there are plenty walking examples that go against everything you believe about women.

There are so many things men do that women can do too. There are so many emotions & ways of handling those emotions (or lack of) that women can handle too. There's no such a thing as all of 1 gender is the exact same way.

It's 1 thing to say, "most" but another thing altogether to say "all." No such thing as "all" of anyone does, says, feels or acts a certain way in the same situation.

Hi CapLove! Aquarius sun and Cancer moon...