@truecap
14 Years10,000+ Posts
Men - What are your relationships complaints?
Posted by truecap
This is addressed to the guys - curious to what your biggest relationship complaints about women.What can women do better?
Do less of of?
What annoys you?
What makes you run?
Anything else you want to add.Toss out your age bracket, too, please. I'd be curious if there is a difference in what bugs someone in their 20s as to what bugs someone in their 40s.
1. Understand that men (this man anyway) need a decent amount of down time (quiet), you can even be in the same room, just relax, look at the TV, and shush. 🙂
2. Thinking. Do less thinking. About the relationship specifically. If I'm quiet and not chatty, it JUST means that I'm not very talkative at the moment. Stop overanalyzing. Everything is fine, No, nothing is wrong.
3. Griping and complaining, over and over, about the same old things. Either change whatever it is yourself, or take the sound, yet unsolicited advice I already gave you to fix your problem, or stop talking about it if you only want to bitch just to bitch. Pick one of those 3 options.
4. Unwarranted jealousy. A normal amount is expected and even welcomed. It can be flattering. Too much, or just downright delusional? Bye.
age: pushing the big 40
Hmm, mine are actually simple.
1.Not Doing what you say you are going to do.
2.Not being sensitive to my feelings.
3. Always starting unnecessary drama.
4. Telling everyone what goes on in our relationship.
5. Not being affectionate or caring
6. Last but certainly not least, not liking phone conversation. Like I need to be able to hear my partners voice. Text messages are boring & no emotion.
Ohh yeah I forgot to add, I find party girls a definite turn off. I can't trust a drunk out of control woman every weekend who just has to be in a club. Other than that, I'm not hard to please in a relationship. Just good communication & understanding goes a long way with me. I don't really ask for much from a woman im into 🙂
Posted by truecapDo less of of?
What annoys you?
What makes you run?
Hot 'n cold treatments.
Posted by CapTenn
Posted by truecap
This is addressed to the guys - curious to what your biggest relationship complaints about women.What can women do better?
Do less of of?
What annoys you?
What makes you run?
Anything else you want to add.Toss out your age bracket, too, please. I'd be curious if there is a difference in what bugs someone in their 20s as to what bugs someone in their 40s.
1. Understand that men (this man anyway) need a decent amount of down time (quiet), you can even be in the same room, just relax, look at the TV, and shush. 🙂
2. Thinking. Do less thinking. About the relationship specifically. If I'm quiet and not chatty, it JUST means that I'm not very talkative at the moment. Stop overanalyzing. Everything is fine, No, nothing is wrong.
3. Griping and complaining, over and over, about the same old things. Either change whatever it is yourself, or take the sound, yet unsolicited advice I already gave you to fix your problem, or stop talking about it if you only want to bitch just to bitch. Pick one of those 3 options.
4. Unwarranted jealousy. A normal amount is expected and even welcomed. It can be flattering. Too much, or just downright delusional? Bye.
age: pushing the big 40
click to expand
Some of the most serene times with my Scorp is when we're in the same room, immersed in our own individual hobbies quietly. Quiet co-existing introverting time is underrated.
1. Cook better.
2. No hot and cold without telling me why.
3. Never addressing their mistakes sometimes.
4. Talking about a future too early.
5. Oppan Gangnam style !
This is just in my 20's at the moment.
Do less of: thinking like a man. We want a partner...not a rival. Which leads to the next thing, understand "us" and not just our ways. Our actions are simple but our reasons are deep. Also, thinking that women are "superior." In one way or another, a lot of women quietly think that. Our differences are opportunities to learn( this means you too fellas?) and not divide...that's if you're not thinking love is war. Each difference, other than bad behavior, is a new avenue to live, love, and grow. See the others view point...and vice versa.
What annoys me?: emotional immaturity and the princess mentality. "Responding" to something other than what you say you "value." Not taking full responsibility for your actions and choices...especially in dating...that leads to..
What makes me run...well walk lol: trying to make me cash the check the last guy wrote. I treat every woman I date as a clean slate. No grudges, no stereotypes, no assumptions. Just individuals.
What women can do better: be our confidant and not take our kindness/vulnerability as a weakness. Accept the person in front of you.
And I agree with CapTenn's #2.
Posted by 2BlackIndian3
Hmm, mine are actually simple.
1.Not Doing what you say you are going to do.
2.Not being sensitive to my feelings.
3. Always starting unnecessary drama.
4. Telling everyone what goes on in our relationship.
5. Not being affectionate or caring
6. Last but certainly not least, not liking phone conversation. Like I need to be able to hear my partners voice. Text messages are boring & no emotion.
Ahaha, bolded part made me go check your profile. I knew it, Scorpio Moon! *runs for the hills* Also this too:
Posted by 2BlackIndian3
Ohh yeah I forgot to add, I find party girls a definite turn off. I can't trust a drunk out of control woman every weekend who just has to be in a club. Other than that, I'm not hard to please in a relationship. Just good communication & understanding goes a long way with me. I don't really ask for much from a woman im into 🙂click to expand
Age 39
I agree with you @beautifulsoul & I don't really need a woman to cook for me lol. I can do that for myself. Do help with cleaning. Buying my favorite snacks & drinks is just fine haha
Posted by beautifulsoul74
Do less of: thinking like a man. We want a partner...not a rival. Which leads to the next thing, understand "us" and not just our ways. Our actions are simple but our reasons are deep. Also, thinking that women are "superior." In one way or another, a lot of women quietly think that. Our differences are opportunities to learn( this means you too fellas?) and not divide...that's if you're not thinking love is war. Each difference, other than bad behavior, is a new avenue to live, love, and grow. See the others view point...and vice versa.What annoys me?: emotional immaturity and the princess mentality. "Responding" to something other than what you say you "value." Not taking full responsibility for your actions and choices...especially in dating...that leads to..
What makes me run...well walk lol: trying to make me cash the check the last guy wrote. I treat every woman I date as a clean slate. No grudges, no stereotypes, no assumptions. Just individuals.
What women can do better: be our confidant and not take our kindness/vulnerability as a weakness. Accept the person in front of you.
I think the whole "think like a man" business started because so many men will simply disappear on a woman without warning if she shows her real feelings.
People nowadays are so afraid of seeming "needy" even slightly.
Posted by beautifulsoul74
Do less of: thinking like a man. We want a partner...not a rival. Which leads to the next thing, understand "us" and not just our ways. Our actions are simple but our reasons are deep. Also, thinking that women are "superior." In one way or another, a lot of women quietly think that. Our differences are opportunities to learn( this means you too fellas?) and not divide...that's if you're not thinking love is war. Each difference, other than bad behavior, is a new avenue to live, love, and grow. See the others view point...and vice versa.What annoys me?: emotional immaturity and the princess mentality. "Responding" to something other than what you say you "value." Not taking full responsibility for your actions and choices...especially in dating...that leads to..
What makes me run...well walk lol: trying to make me cash the check the last guy wrote. I treat every woman I date as a clean slate. No grudges, no stereotypes, no assumptions. Just individuals.
What women can do better: be our confidant and not take our kindness/vulnerability as a weakness. Accept the person in front of you.
Great list. I wish I had thought of several of those, especially 'princess mentality' and 'be a partner, not a rival'.
Posted by 2BlackIndian3
I agree with you @beautifulsoul & I don't really need a woman to cook for me lol. I can do that for myself. Do help with cleaning. Buying my favorite snacks & drinks is just fine haha
Fortunately crab cakes are actually very easy to make. 🙂
@pikeperch lol umm ok, but I think I have very simple things that don't require much in a relationship. But hey, I understand. By the way, I love my Scorpio Moon. It's not that bad
@munchkin lol now Crab cakes are nice. Just bring me some Raspberry tea with that & im happy 😄. Good one there
Posted by munchkin
Posted by beautifulsoul74
Do less of: thinking like a man. We want a partner...not a rival. Which leads to the next thing, understand "us" and not just our ways. Our actions are simple but our reasons are deep. Also, thinking that women are "superior." In one way or another, a lot of women quietly think that. Our differences are opportunities to learn( this means you too fellas?) and not divide...that's if you're not thinking love is war. Each difference, other than bad behavior, is a new avenue to live, love, and grow. See the others view point...and vice versa.What annoys me?: emotional immaturity and the princess mentality. "Responding" to something other than what you say you "value." Not taking full responsibility for your actions and choices...especially in dating...that leads to..
What makes me run...well walk lol: trying to make me cash the check the last guy wrote. I treat every woman I date as a clean slate. No grudges, no stereotypes, no assumptions. Just individuals.
What women can do better: be our confidant and not take our kindness/vulnerability as a weakness. Accept the person in front of you.
I think the whole "think like a man" business started because so many men will simply disappear on a woman without warning if she shows her real feelings.
People nowadays are so afraid of seeming "needy" even slightly.
click to expand
I get that honestly. But people show you who they are before hand. Whether they are capable of being compassionate with that vulnerability. The things is, and not to be mean, but "thinking like a man ," is a conscious choice...and one that is borne out of spite and not overcoming. "Two can play that game." In the end, both sexes lose. I apologize, but it goes to what I said above. Taking responsibility for ones own actions and emotional maturity. While there are those that are needy and look for those to solve their problems for them without taking personal initiative, often times "neediness" is a matter of perception without full comprehension of what's taking place.
Posted by 2BlackIndian3
I agree with you @beautifulsoul & I don't really need a woman to cook for me lol. I can do that for myself. Do help with cleaning. Buying my favorite snacks & drinks is just fine haha
+1...and I love cooking. Need to get back to that lol
Posted by CapTenn
Posted by beautifulsoul74
Do less of: thinking like a man. We want a partner...not a rival. Which leads to the next thing, understand "us" and not just our ways. Our actions are simple but our reasons are deep. Also, thinking that women are "superior." In one way or another, a lot of women quietly think that. Our differences are opportunities to learn( this means you too fellas?) and not divide...that's if you're not thinking love is war. Each difference, other than bad behavior, is a new avenue to live, love, and grow. See the others view point...and vice versa.What annoys me?: emotional immaturity and the princess mentality. "Responding" to something other than what you say you "value." Not taking full responsibility for your actions and choices...especially in dating...that leads to..
What makes me run...well walk lol: trying to make me cash the check the last guy wrote. I treat every woman I date as a clean slate. No grudges, no stereotypes, no assumptions. Just individuals.
What women can do better: be our confidant and not take our kindness/vulnerability as a weakness. Accept the person in front of you.
Great list. I wish I had thought of several of those, especially 'princess mentality' and 'be a partner, not a rival'.
click to expand
Your list was great as well...really good points.
Posted by 2BlackIndian3
@pikeperch lol umm ok, but I think I have very simple things that don't require much in a relationship. But hey, I understand. By the way, I love my Scorpio Moon. It's not that bad
I didn't mean to imply that what you require from a relationship is too much 🙂 It is just that the things you wrote reminded me of my Scorpio Moon ex and I got little bit carried away because I was able to recognize it so easily. Not saying Scorpio Moon is automatically bad, but it just doesn't work that well with my Gemini Moon.
@pikeperch ohh ok, I was like what for a moment lol. I know not every woman is going to like me, but I know some lady will. It is what is I guess
Posted by pikeperch
Posted by 2BlackIndian3
@pikeperch lol umm ok, but I think I have very simple things that don't require much in a relationship. But hey, I understand. By the way, I love my Scorpio Moon. It's not that bad
I didn't mean to imply that what you require from a relationship is too much 🙂 It is just that the things you wrote reminded me of my Scorpio Moon ex and I got little bit carried away because I was able to recognize it so easily. Not saying Scorpio Moon is automatically bad, but it just doesn't work that well with my Gemini Moon.
click to expand
Hey perch - I have a Gemini moon as well. Educate me. Tell me about Gem moons.
Posted by CapTenn
Hey perch - I have a Gemini moon as well. Educate me. Tell me about Gem moons.
But but, I'm still new at this. I really wish I could be helpful but I don't really know that much about it myself. I basically just read something somewhere and then say, yes, that is me. Like I read the compatibility between Scorpio and Gemini Moons and it was my past relationship word for word.
I am not even sure I have completely embraced my Gemini Moon, tbh. I think one of the things it does it makes me more social. It's really strange, because most of the time I would describe myself as an introvert, but then again I will just jump into conversations with people I don't even know that well. Because I want to know what they're talking about or learn something about them. Hmm, yes, I see now is that what I do I gather little bits of information here and there. Without any particular purpose but just for filing it, because you never know when it might come in handy. I don't really engage with strangers in the street, now I wonder is it because I think that information would be useless?
I think it is also the thing that is making me have all these various interests/obsessions. I am pretty open minded about things and I'll embrace something new or unusual just like that.
Posted by tiziani
Why would someone not fully embrace their Gemini Moon? This saddens me.
No, I am not saying I don't want to fully embrace it. But when I read the things about Gemini Moon I just don't recognize myself in most of it. Just little bits and pieces here and there.
I think Gemini Moons should love traveling while most times I don't even go anywhere at all, but when I remember few times that I did travel to someplace I realize that maybe I actually love traveling just don't realize it. The same thing with being social, in a group of friends I know really well, I am mostly quiet, but then I'll just barge in a conversation of people I don't even know and I'll even become acquaintances with them just like that? I feel like for some reason I am just not letting it my Gemini Moon out enough.
Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
Posted by tiziani
Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
Posted by tiziani
Why would someone not fully embrace their Gemini Moon? This saddens me.How can you embrace it?
I heard it's like herding cats 😛
" Once upon a time, I, Gemini Moon, dreamt I was a herd of cats, fluttering hither and thither, to all intents and purposes a herd of cats. I was conscious only of my happiness as a herd of cats. Soon I awaked, and there I was, veritably myself again. Now I do not know whether I was then a Gemini Moon dreaming I was a herd of cats, or whether I am now a herd of cats, dreaming I am a Gemini Moon."
I may have paraphrased 😛
adorable!
click to expand
+1! (Bolded part really speaks to me.)
Posted by tiziani
Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
Posted by tiziani
Why would someone not fully embrace their Gemini Moon? This saddens me.How can you embrace it?
I heard it's like herding cats 😛
"Once upon a time, I, Gemini Moon, dreamt I was a herd of cats, fluttering hither and thither, to all intents and purposes a herd of cats. I was conscious only of my happiness as a herd of cats. Soon I awaked, and there I was, veritably myself again. Now I do not know whether I was then a Gemini Moon dreaming I was a herd of cats, or whether I am now a herd of cats, dreaming I am a Gemini Moon."
I may have paraphrased 😛
click to expand
Ha! Well done, tiz.
I think Gemini Moons should love traveling while most times I don't even go anywhere at all, but when I remember few times that I did travel to someplace I realize that maybe I actually love traveling just don't realize it.
Yep, that's sounds fairly Gemini to me. LOL
You guys all make very valid points. Hopefully your honesty will help all of us.
Keep em coming!
Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
Posted by tiziani
Why would someone not fully embrace their Gemini Moon? This saddens me.How can you embrace it?
I heard it's like herding cats 😛
click to expand
Hey!
Posted by DonAmanMarat
Tbh we can sit here nitpicking each and every flaw, but what difference does it make? YES women are different, and some things in their behavior will piss us off, but all you can do is fix YOUR flaws before you can fix someone else...non of us are perfect, and sometimes how YOU behave will rub off on your S/O and they will bring it back 2x over for the best or the worst.
truth!!
I could complain about a lot of things that happened in the past but what good does that do?
Besides, the girl I'm with at the moment I really can't complain about at all.
🙂
Posted by 2BlackIndian3
Hmm, mine are actually simple.
1.Not Doing what you say you are going to do.
2.Not being sensitive to my feelings.
3. Always starting unnecessary drama.
4. Telling everyone what goes on in our relationship.
5. Not being affectionate or caring
6. Last but certainly not least, not liking phone conversation. Like I need to be able to hear my partners voice. Text messages are boring & no emotion.
She said for all the men to respond.
Posted by Redbull
I think there are some loyal females out there conceivably.
There are, as there are loyal men.
....it's just that a shit ton of people are piss poor at choosing appropriate partners and ignore obvious red flags/signs.
Posted by tiziani
Posted by TwirlingStrawberry
Posted by tiziani
Why would someone not fully embrace their Gemini Moon? This saddens me.How can you embrace it?
I heard it's like herding cats 😛
"Once upon a time, I, Gemini Moon, dreamt I was a herd of cats, fluttering hither and thither, to all intents and purposes a herd of cats. I was conscious only of my happiness as a herd of cats. Soon I awaked, and there I was, veritably myself again. Now I do not know whether I was then a Gemini Moon dreaming I was a herd of cats, or whether I am now a herd of cats, dreaming I am a Gemini Moon."
I may have paraphrased 😛
click to expand
You guys crack me up! "A heard of cats" is one of the fav expressions of my Gemini moon (Pisces sun) ex. He used to tease his boss (director of a research institute) with it, on Friday nights at the pub. "Directing us, scientists, is like trying to direct a heard of cats. We will do whatever we want." He said it with a Cheshire cat grin 😄.
It comes down to this:
What 1 man may consider deal breaking & a grounds for immediate dismissal, another man may find annoying, but chalk it up to "Everyone has flaws," thus keeping her b/c he knows that looking for the perfect woman is wishful (not realistic) thinking.
What 1 man may swear is the worst thing in the world for a woman to do/say, another man may shrug off b/c it's not that big of a deal to him
1 man may play the hell out of a particular woman, while another man may come a long & treat that same woman like a queen
What may turn 1 man on, may turn off another.
For every 5 girls who are freely trusting, there are another 5 girls who aren't. In this cold world, neither type of woman is in the wrong. It's true. There are goods AND bads in love/dating. Can't knock the person who chooses to focus on or remember the goods, but then knock the person who notices the bads & uses it for realistic thinking
There are some loyal men. There are some azzholes. There are some loyal women. There are some azzholes.
At any given time, the best & smartest catch in the world can fall victim to azzholes. In the same breath, the self-proclaimed 'player' will most likely get played himself at some point in his life, whether he knows it or not.
Love is a gamble. It's a risk. It's about finding the person who's willing to put up with your bullsh****t/flaws since everyone has an inch of that somewhere within them. Everyone will like your good traits, but there's only a few who will continue entertaining you once the honeymoon phase wears off. The few that stayed when everybody else left are the ones who matter.
Sometimes people stay for toxic reasons or for reasons other than them actually loving you as a person. And other times they stay b/c they love you enough as a person. What results you get is based on 50% of what's on the inside of you that's causing you to attract specific types of people + 50% the mentality/emotional availability of the person you actually bait.
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This is addressed to the guys - curious to what your biggest relationship complaints about women.
What can women do better?
Do less of of?
What annoys you?
What makes you run?
Anything else you want to add.
Toss out your age bracket, too, please. I'd be curious if there is a difference in what bugs someone in their 20s as to what bugs someone in their 40s.