how are you?

what emotions go through you when you see these words from someone you haven't talked to in a long long time? we throw this line at anyone and everyone crossing our path, without even waiting for an answer. this line means nothing. but imagine getting this out of the blue from someone you haven't talked to in a long long long time?

you go blank? your heart beats faster? your eyes water? it all starts coming back? some words can have more power than we give them credit for. you feel some person is not in your life anymore, and then just by writing how are you? it's like all the time they were a part of your life. this post might sound silly, but sometimes some simple words evoke strong emotions in you.

in the past i must have cried seeing such words at random times when least expected or after losing all expectations. it could be anyone, friend, past love, anyone. some connections are deep. you might not talk a lifetime and they are a part of your life.

i think the question mark at the end makes it more personal, like you are concerned about them..

Posted by feb16aqua
More like time stands still for just a few seconds, just long enough to feel that it's happening but not long enough to gain consciousness of it

+1. it's like you were waiting to hear for ages and now you don't know how to respond 🙂

I think 'What do they want?'
The only time people have said that phrase to me after a really long time was because they were lacking friends, a relationship, etc in their current lives. I don't like being used or talked to/considered important based on other people's terms, which is usually when they're feeling lonely or need something from me. I probably wouldn't think their intentions were all that pure or selfless, even though I'm always talking about giving the people the benefit of the doubt, etc. We haven't talked in a really long time for a reason.

I guess I'm the odd one out here, but that's to be expected since the basis of the OP was leaning towards the more positive experiences with this.

Posted by Scenic
I think 'What do they want?'
The only time people have said that phrase to me after a really long time was because they were lacking friends, a relationship, etc in their current lives. I don't like being used or talked to/considered important based on other people's terms, which is usually when they're feeling lonely or need something from me. I probably wouldn't think their intentions were all that pure or selfless, even though I'm always talking about giving the people the benefit of the doubt, etc. We haven't talked in a really long time for a reason.

I guess I'm the odd one out here, but that's to be expected since the basis of the OP was leaning towards the more positive experiences with this.

Scenic, it is interesting to see this perspective. you have a point there. maybe the going blank i was talking about could be indirectly due to the not expecting or hurt feelings. i can relate to what you are saying too. people could remember you in times of need or when they have free time. i do feel more hurt than happiness in some instances, esp. with friends who have conveniently come and gone at their leisure. but +ve or -ve, sometimes such things evoke strong emotions.

I guess it depends if they actually make plans with me. I usually only ever say Hi if I wanted to catch up and it's usually not a "Hey how are ya?" It's more of a "Hey I miss you let's catch up".

When I get the "Hey how are you?" from someone who I've not spoken to for a long time I think it's a sweet thought, if they don't follow it up it stays just that, a thought. I answer "yeah not bad" because if they wanted to catch up then they will.

Posted by aquasnoz
I guess it depends if they actually make plans with me. I usually only ever say Hi if I wanted to catch up and it's usually not a "Hey how are ya?" It's more of a "Hey I miss you let's catch up".

When I get the "Hey how are you?" from someone who I've not spoken to for a long time I think it's a sweet thought, if they don't follow it up it stays just that, a thought. I answer "yeah not bad" because if they wanted to catch up then they will.

that might make someone even more emotional hahaha

That's...a loaded question. I've been asked this before by people I haven't talked to in a long time, it's gives me the feeling..where do I begin? Forlorn is the first thing I feel when someone asks me this..sort of nostalgic and lost in a way, but then I snap back into the present all within a few seconds. However, I also question their intentions- what are they lacking that they have really taken an interest in my life- or if it was simply a question which they inquire about to everyone (which it is in most cases I suppose.) None the less, simply a very loaded question- since when there is a gap in which people don't speak, we have been happy, sad, frustrated, lonely, in time span of absence. We simply cannot come up with one honest answer.

Posted by xdimplez
how are you?

i am good, and you? hehe

Posted by MeowScorpii
That's...a loaded question. I've been asked this before by people I haven't talked to in a long time, it's gives me the feeling..where do I begin? Forlorn is the first thing I feel when someone asks me this..sort of nostalgic and lost in a way, but then I snap back into the present all within a few seconds. However, I also question their intentions- what are they lacking that they have really taken an interest in my life- or if it was simply a question which they inquire about to everyone (which it is in most cases I suppose.) None the less, simply a very loaded question- since when there is a gap in which people don't speak, we have been happy, sad, frustrated, lonely, in time span of absence. We simply cannot come up with one honest answer.

+1. sometimes you don't even want to share, because they were not there in the first place.

Posted by tiziani
I don't really think much beyond the usual. Kind of like Aquasnoz. Asking someone how they are is just good manners. So if I received it with no context, I'd be pleased that someone let me know they were thinking about me and probably just ask them how they are...

this 'how are you?' is after being MIA from a close someone, so that shouts bad manners then i guess 🙂. but again, a man would respond differently than a woman. it's funny i can picture a woman getting all hyper reading the message, whereas a man just glancing at it and going about his business hahaha. and also, while she is busy working hard on a response, the man probably has entered into the second MIA phase already hehehe.

Posted by memyself

Posted by tiziani
I don't really think much beyond the usual. Kind of like Aquasnoz. Asking someone how they are is just good manners. So if I received it with no context, I'd be pleased that someone let me know they were thinking about me and probably just ask them how they are...

this 'how are you?' is after being MIA from a close someone, so that shouts bad manners then i guess 🙂. but again, a man would respond differently than a woman. it's funny i can picture a woman getting all hyper reading the message, whereas a man just glancing at it and going about his business hahaha. and also, while she is busy working hard on a response, the man probably has entered into the second MIA phase already hehehe.

click to expand

Yes that is the difference in the response at that end of the message...however maybe the questions should be "Why would you send that message after not being in contact with someone in so long?" And of course there would have to be a male and female perspective!

Posted by Acrab
How you doin? 😉

Exactly and I'm guessing you are Male??

TWO ANSWERS
IF ITS A MALE VTHE ANSWER IS ( I AM READY FOR A PINT OR TWO)
IF ITS A FEMALE THE ANSWER IS( IM GETTING A HARD ON HOW ABOUT SEX?)