For those of you in a LTR but not living together, how often do you talk to your SO? I like constant communication, but I feel as guys would think this is not needed if they've established that they love you. Input?
How long—?
Heading actually should be "How often", makes more sense lol!
Every day. Ifnwe don't hear from each other, even a hello, we start to worry about each other. I was super sick one time and slept a lot.... I forgot to message him just to let him know I was alive, and he was quite worried and asked a friend if I was OK. He thought I might be in the hospital. I was so sick I don't really remember those days and its hard to believe I didn't contact him for two or three days..
Posted by GuardianAnuAwww that's sweet! I can deal with a day or two, but I don't like it lol!!!! Guess each guy is different, trying to accept that.
Every day. Ifnwe don't hear from each other, even a hello, we start to worry about each other. I was super sick one time and slept a lot.... I forgot to message him just to let him know I was alive, and he was quite worried and asked a friend if I was OK. He thought I might be in the hospital. I was so sick I don't really remember those days and its hard to believe I didn't contact him for two or three days..
We send multiple texts a day. Voice chat maybe once every 1-2weeks.
I'd be okay with less communication, but my guy is needy. Haha
I'd be okay with less communication, but my guy is needy. Haha
Posted by JkatsHow long have you been together?Posted by GuardianAnuAwww that's sweet! I can deal with a day or two, but I don't like it lol!!!! Guess each guy is different, trying to accept that.
Every day. Ifnwe don't hear from each other, even a hello, we start to worry about each other. I was super sick one time and slept a lot.... I forgot to message him just to let him know I was alive, and he was quite worried and asked a friend if I was OK. He thought I might be in the hospital. I was so sick I don't really remember those days and its hard to believe I didn't contact him for two or three days..click to expand
Posted by ScenicWhat would you be ok with? And I love needy, wish mine was that way haha!
We send multiple texts a day. Voice chat maybe once every 1-2weeks.
I'd be okay with less communication, but my guy is needy. Haha
Posted by MontgomeryMy situation is complex, but we've had feelings for each other for about 6 months now, known each other for 9. I do realize that with time, you shouldn't need constant communication, life shouldn't revolve around your SO, it's not healthy for either one involved, unless you're both the same way. 🙂Posted by JkatsHow long have you been together?Posted by GuardianAnuAwww that's sweet! I can deal with a day or two, but I don't like it lol!!!! Guess each guy is different, trying to accept that.
Every day. Ifnwe don't hear from each other, even a hello, we start to worry about each other. I was super sick one time and slept a lot.... I forgot to message him just to let him know I was alive, and he was quite worried and asked a friend if I was OK. He thought I might be in the hospital. I was so sick I don't really remember those days and its hard to believe I didn't contact him for two or three days..
click to expand
Posted by JkatsI'd likely be satisfied with 3-4 good, spread out conversations per week.Posted by ScenicWhat would you be ok with? And I love needy, wish mine was that way haha!
We send multiple texts a day. Voice chat maybe once every 1-2weeks.
I'd be okay with less communication, but my guy is needy. Hahaclick to expand
If we saw each other more than once a month that number would go down even more.
I've only been in relationships with needy guys. Some were too needy. I tend to like my space and get too distracted to text, anyway.
But, I don't think you need to worry about how much communication is normal or when to switch things up. Just do what works best for you. Most people won't get annoyed unless communication is way overboard. For example, some people will text twice if you don't respond within minutes. That's where my line lays. Actually, I tend to get upset at double texts even if I hadn't responded for a few hours. Oops.
Daily for me as well and we're engaged and we talked daily when we were dating as well. I would not be in a relationship with a guy who couldn't take a minute out his day to contact me. I don't call that being needy, anything important you make time for.
Posted by JkatsI've been with my guy for over 5 years. I have always been the type to need communication daily but he wasn't in the very beginning, but time changed that and now he needs the same.Posted by MontgomeryMy situation is complex, but we've had feelings for each other for about 6 months now, known each other for 9. I do realize that with time, you shouldn't need constant communication, life shouldn't revolve around your SO, it's not healthy for either one involved, unless you're both the same way. 🙂Posted by JkatsHow long have you been together?Posted by GuardianAnuAwww that's sweet! I can deal with a day or two, but I don't like it lol!!!! Guess each guy is different, trying to accept that.
Every day. Ifnwe don't hear from each other, even a hello, we start to worry about each other. I was super sick one time and slept a lot.... I forgot to message him just to let him know I was alive, and he was quite worried and asked a friend if I was OK. He thought I might be in the hospital. I was so sick I don't really remember those days and its hard to believe I didn't contact him for two or three days..
click to expand
I think too many people are complacent in their relationships, and there is a lot of arrogance from people who think that people who need contact more frequently are clingy and unhealthy. Insaw a girl get totally bitched out because two months was long time for her boyfriend to not contact her and she got told she was fucking clingy. What. The. Fuck.
Posted by JkatsOk... so this is an LDR-- not an LTR, right?
My situation is complex, but we've had feelings for each other for about 6 months now, known each other for 9. I do realize that with time, you shouldn't need constant communication, life shouldn't revolve around your SO, it's not healthy for either one involved, unless you're both the same way. 🙂
Long distance, not long-term... I thought it was long-term, at first.
And idk... I guess it would depend on where the relationship was headed,
to a degree-- right?
At six months, it's hard to say-- but I would think that the shiny and new would
still be there, and the communication would be frequent.
Like... when are you going to get to see me again?
If we were in it for the long haul, like we're going to do this until whatever happens
and we can move to the same city/get married, then I expect we would have
a normal routine that would happen organically.
But an LDR that left me guessing... I wouldn't do well with that. 😢
Either we're established, or we aren't... and I don't blame you for not liking it--
it makes you feel like a not-so-significant other.
And you are not insignificant.
What's your moon, jkats?
I've been with my guy for over 5 years. I have always been the type to need communication daily but he wasn't in the very beginning, but time changed that and now he needs the same.
I think too many people are complacent in their relationships, and there is a lot of arrogance from people who think that people who need contact more frequently are clingy and unhealthy. Insaw a girl get totally bitched out because two months was long time for her boyfriend to not contact her and she got told she was fucking clingy. What. The. Fuck.
Exactly! Its just a way to make excuses for men not doing their part and the girl is suppose to be okay with his cookie monster treatment. It takes nothing to call or at the very least text someone especially before bed or when you wake up? There is no excuse to not talk to someone, if he's not calling you it's because he doesn't want too period!
Posted by ScenicThis is quite interesting, especially because you're a woman, not meaning anything by that. The roles are usually reversed, guy wants space, girl wants to talk 24/7.Posted by JkatsI'd likely be satisfied with 3-4 good, spread out conversations per week.Posted by ScenicWhat would you be ok with? And I love needy, wish mine was that way haha!
We send multiple texts a day. Voice chat maybe once every 1-2weeks.
I'd be okay with less communication, but my guy is needy. Haha
If we saw each other more than once a month that number would go down even more.
I've only been in relationships with needy guys. Some were too needy. I tend to like my space and get too distracted to text, anyway.
But, I don't think you need to worry about how much communication is normal or when to switch things up. Just do what works best for you. Most people won't get annoyed unless communication is way overboard. For example, some people will text twice if you don't respond within minutes. That's where my line lays. Actually, I tend to get upset at double texts even if I hadn't responded for a few hours. Oops.click to expand
I see my guy about once a week, we have completely opposite schedules, so i'm trying to be understanding.
And i'm not extremely worried, just trying to get other people's take on the whole communication thing. I love the diversity.
Posted by cheekyfaerieJealous, but so happy for you!
Daily.
If I don't text him, he'll text me. He's actually the one that brought up how we've never missed a day of at least texting.
(i secretly love it)
Posted by Cancer LadyHmmmm, that's my mindset as well, but my guy and I aren't at that point yet. I want to talk to him every day, but don't want to come off as suffocating.
Daily for me as well and we're engaged and we talked daily when we were dating as well. I would not be in a relationship with a guy who couldn't take a minute out his day to contact me. I don't call that being needy, anything important you make time for.
Posted by MontgomeryLol, I guess I don't know what we are— Like I said, my situation is complex, still living with ex, so perhaps that's why a commitment hasn't been made. Though he says he wants to marry me and for me to have his baby in the future.Posted by JkatsOk... so this is an LDR-- not an LTR, right?
My situation is complex, but we've had feelings for each other for about 6 months now, known each other for 9. I do realize that with time, you shouldn't need constant communication, life shouldn't revolve around your SO, it's not healthy for either one involved, unless you're both the same way. 🙂
Long distance, not long-term... I thought it was long-term, at first.
And idk... I guess it would depend on where the relationship was headed,
to a degree-- right?
At six months, it's hard to say-- but I would think that the shiny and new would
still be there, and the communication would be frequent.
Like... when are you going to get to see me again?
If we were in it for the long haul, like we're going to do this until whatever happens
and we can move to the same city/get married, then I expect we would have
a normal routine that would happen organically.
But an LDR that left me guessing... I wouldn't do well with that. 😢
Either we're established, or we aren't... and I don't blame you for not liking it--
it makes you feel like a not-so-significant other.
And you are not insignificant.
What's your moon, jkats?
click to expand
Communication is there, just not to the degree that I want it to be, though I understand that everybody is different when it comes to how much and how often is enough for them.
Idk my moon, but my birthday is September 19th, 1980.
Posted by JkatsYou're still living with an ex... or he is?
Lol, I guess I don't know what we are— Like I said, my situation is complex, still living with ex, so perhaps that's why a commitment hasn't been made. Though he says he wants to marry me and for me to have his baby in the future.
Communication is there, just not to the degree that I want it to be, though I understand that everybody is different when it comes to how much and how often is enough for them.
Idk my moon, but my birthday is September 19th, 1980.
Cap moon, btw.
Posted by Cancer LadyI've been with my guy for over 5 years. I have always been the type to need communication daily but he wasn't in the very beginning, but time changed that and now he needs the same.
I think too many people are complacent in their relationships, and there is a lot of arrogance from people who think that people who need contact more frequently are clingy and unhealthy. Insaw a girl get totally bitched out because two months was long time for her boyfriend to not contact her and she got told she was fucking clingy. What. The. Fuck.
Exactly! Its just a way to make excuses for men not doing their part and the girl is suppose to be okay with his cookie monster treatment. It takes nothing to call or at the very least text someone especially before bed or when you wake up? There is no excuse to not talk to someone, if he's not calling you it's because he doesn't want too period!
Our "relationship" is still pretty fresh, so perhaps things will change as it did for you and your guy.
And holy shit, what a douchebag, I hope that chick left him!!!!!
Sometimes I honestly think my guy wants me to chase him and initiate communication, but I keep on reading that guys like their space, like knowing that their SO has a life outside of them, that they don't depend on them for their happiness. See, this is where I get confused on what to do.
For two weeks straight following a fight we had, he texted me every day, but I started backing off so I wouldn't look clingy/needy, and he started doing the same, so I kept on mirroring his actions. So like, are we playing games now lol?
^^^Don't know why it posted like that? @Cancer Lady
Posted by MontgomeryI am, hoping to move out in a few months, I just found a job.Posted by JkatsYou're still living with an ex... or he is?
Lol, I guess I don't know what we are— Like I said, my situation is complex, still living with ex, so perhaps that's why a commitment hasn't been made. Though he says he wants to marry me and for me to have his baby in the future.
Communication is there, just not to the degree that I want it to be, though I understand that everybody is different when it comes to how much and how often is enough for them.
Idk my moon, but my birthday is September 19th, 1980.
Cap moon, btw.click to expand
Ok, thanks lol, i'm an amateur when it comes to astrology.
Posted by tizianiVery true! I think with us, it's a lot of guessing games. I really don't know what he wants. Sometimes I feel as if he needs his space, other times I think he needs me to initiate, but I don't want to come off as clingy/needy as I have in the past.
I think it's an individual thing to gauge. Each relationship I've been in was different, the healthiest I've had is where there's upfront talk about what is needed and what is agreed upon.
He did admit that he's still shy around me, and i'm pretty sure he's insecure about our " relationship" since I still live with my ex (will be out soon).
Posted by JkatsOh... congratulations, then. 🙂Posted by MontgomeryI am, hoping to move out in a few months, I just found a job.Posted by JkatsYou're still living with an ex... or he is?
Lol, I guess I don't know what we are— Like I said, my situation is complex, still living with ex, so perhaps that's why a commitment hasn't been made. Though he says he wants to marry me and for me to have his baby in the future.
Communication is there, just not to the degree that I want it to be, though I understand that everybody is different when it comes to how much and how often is enough for them.
Idk my moon, but my birthday is September 19th, 1980.
Cap moon, btw.
Ok, thanks lol, i'm an amateur when it comes to astrology.click to expand
Without knowing the person it's hard to say.
But I would also have a hard time believing someone
was 'mine' if they still lived with their ex... meaning I
would be hesitant to fully invest emotionally.
I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong (at all), just
that it would be difficult.
Hopefully this move is something you would be doing even
if wasn't in the picture.
Hope it works out for you.
Posted by JkatsEvery day.
For those of you in a LTR but not living together, how often do you talk to your SO? I like constant communication, but I feel as guys would think this is not needed if they've established that they love you. Input?
@Jkats-
It is important to be talking daily or at least consistently. It is when that arrangement breaks or suddenly becomes inconsistent that I start doubting, So you are doubting because communication, trust, and honesty is a must in any friendship or relationship...And it will take along time before anyone jumps into anything serious because of certain circumstance. Nah I can't be with someone who is living with an ex or married and living in separate bedrooms either. Good luck to you..
It is important to be talking daily or at least consistently. It is when that arrangement breaks or suddenly becomes inconsistent that I start doubting, So you are doubting because communication, trust, and honesty is a must in any friendship or relationship...And it will take along time before anyone jumps into anything serious because of certain circumstance. Nah I can't be with someone who is living with an ex or married and living in separate bedrooms either. Good luck to you..
How long —?
That's a rather personal question.
That's a rather personal question.
We don't have to see eachother every single day, but.a call or text to let eachother know we're still alive and what our plans are is good. Check in.
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