Hyper Speed Online Dating in Escargot

I met a boy online. I like him a whole bunch. It's a LDR situation and will be some time before we can permanently close the geographical gap. And yet, we find ourselves speaking of the future in definitive terms. Part of me feels that we are moving too fast and being far to presumptuous. But then I recall the proclamations I made not to long ago in the Online LDR thread I created and I feel like we're very much on track with the goals I set therein.

See, I decided that if I were to deal with someone online and/or someone who resides outside my local area that I would be sure to ask some very pointed questions early on. I didn't want to get into a situation where I was drawn to the person but found out months/years later that he/I were on two vastly different paths. Questions like...

- Are you willing to move?
- How many kids do you want?
- Rent or Mortgage?
- Republican, Independent or Democrat?

etc... are all fair game but I stated that in theory. Who'd a thunk I'd actually meet someone who willingly answers these questions and asks quite a few himself? I didn't go looking for this and maybe that's why I'm all turned around?

He says that he is now taking me into consideration when making decisions regarding his future and where that's refreshing, I don't know what to say or how to feel. The rational part of me knows it's necessary but the shelled mollusk (that can be interpreted sexually for the depraved) in me says "go slow." And yet, I find myself playing into this "what if" dynamic.

Damn this man! I'm a taurus. Practical and steady. WTF is going on? My Venus in Aries need to be corralled.

Fast or slow? What's natural? What's rushed? What are the check points to insure that one is grounded while throwing caution to the wind? And can you do both? Can you have a "whirlwind romance" that's secure?

I'm going 90 in a 55mph zone. I have my seat belt on and the air bags are engaged but am I merely getting to my destination at light speed or am I headed for a big crash? I've clearly had one too many head wounds. Any thoughts?

You would respond 😛

He's fishy and no, not frenchy. I thought I wrote off you fishes after that guy but I had a profile up for a minute, he messaged and that's all he wrote.

I think he's second decan if it matters. I did our compatibility and it was so favorable that it made me go back and redo comparisons for my ex's. Of them all, he is most "right." We only have one major area of contention in our charts.

I still have reservations but it's really difficult to ignore how well we get on.


^*lol* I just freaked myself out by the last statement. My heart sank after 'i typed it and I thought "make it stop." Damn ViA is ready to BOLT! for really real.

*looks at sea*

stop reading me fish...ok, i lie. read pleez. im confused.

@satori, is he a 2nd decan pisces— 🙂

it makes me giddy and nauseous but only when we're not speaking. it's after he departs that my inner dialogue gets all topsy turvy. on one hand, thinking about "us." on the other, WTF?! there is no "us."

even with the reservations, they aren't due to *warning bells.* it's more, "this can't be happening, is this happening?" feeling. and what the hell is "this?"

our discussions are frank not flowery. presumptuous and yet practical. and despite all the feeling of my feet on the ground, i'm floating?

^big whoop! that shouldve been painfully obvious. I'm a bitch with a heart. Go fuckin figure 😛

I say Ms. Tubby, if it feels right, GO FOR IT. No hesitation. No second guesses. We only go round this heap once in a lifetime. 🙂

And tubby? I — Appa, nice avatar. Wayyyyy better than scary clown that made me want to poo up my back. 😛

Satori I am officially in the "Mandatory Wee Check" phase. Can't proceed beyond X-Like without it. Hopefully I won't be disappointed.

ACK!!!

say it ain't so Jo!

if my next post is "no more online dating," then you'll know the deal.

and yea VB. i'm trying to go into it with that attitude but i don't want to end up under his porch either.

ooooooooh and he's a 3rd decan. had my dates all funked up.

panties? 😛

i was thinking more...

someone call PETA! that just aint right.

i gotta go eat food. i want my ass to be like that chick in the thong.

lata

Have you met him in person yet? Or at least spoken on the phone?

Well intentioned fun-killer here.

nope, haven't met yet hence the "whaaat?" feeling. and on the phone, of course 😛

overall i'm sure we'll be fine with regard to our initial meeting. it's not that that bothers me. it goes back to the age-old issue in an LDR situation...especially one that develops online..."how do you know what you know?" "how do you know the feelings are rooted in reality?"

truth is, even if we had met, totally hit it off, the questions would then be, "how many long did you meet?," "how many times have you met?"

there are "right" answers but most are rarely if ever satisfactory to most people...or to myself at this juncture. so that's the conundrum. feeling the desire to want to get to know someone more but being unsure how to achieve any and all you need to know in order to justify musing and thinking about "us."

My only advice is be careful not to idealize. That happens way too much with LDRs.

@sea - IF and when i do send him nudey shots i will insure plausible deniability by sending more of a silhouette than anything else.

@bri - not sure what you mean by "idealize?" NOTHING about this is ideal. seriously, folks date online but no one really WANTS to find an SO on a website 😛

as far as when we meet, it's a ways off tbh. part of it can't be helped but i also prefer giving it a lil time because it allows me get over the initial *OMG HE'S AWESOME* phase and hopefully get to a point where i trust him enough to actually meet.

tubby, how many kids did he say he wanted 😄

buy a razor spazz.

@ewe, i wouldn't dare go there. that shit would creep me out. it's enough to know that he wants them. i'm not going to sit around naming imaginary babies...sick.