it's killing me...help !

How to cope up with heartbreak and how do take someone out of your mind.? It's not like it's my first break up..I have had breakups before . But this one has hit me terribly.. tried everything but failed.. Help me !!

.44 magnum

Posted by Scrumptious
.44 magnum

— this made my day

You won't like this, but your mind belongs to you and you control what you choose to make active in your brain. In other words if thoughts are flowing through your mind you make the choice which ones enter and affect you. You need to start and continue to choose NOT to let thoughts of this person affect you. He may have made you feel good in any number of ways, but ultimately you can be happy with or without him. Choose you over him.

Think about the reason/s you broke up with him and focus on the negative things of the relationship

We tend to remember the good times and then glamourize the past

Write down a list of things you found difficult about him and focus on that

Posted by Feral_doe

Posted by MyStarsShine
Think about the reason/s you broke up with him and focus on the negative things of the relationship

We tend to remember the good times and then glamourize the past

Write down a list of things you found difficult about him and focus on that

Funny. I've always found the opposite working for me.

I focus on the positive about them as I choose to let go. The idea of thinking negatively about an ex doesn't sit well with me. Whether I tell them or not, I wish them well and go about my life.

Thinking about the negative helps in that it makes you aware of what you DO want, meaning its opposite.

click to expand

When I finished my last rship....I wrote down a list of all the issues I had between he and I and all the good things...it helped me to remove the rose tinted specs and be realistic.....🙂. The issue list far outweighed the positives and then I knew it was time to move forward >>>>>>>>

Posted by Libralove666
How to cope up with heartbreak and how do take someone out of your mind.? It's not like it's my first break up..I have had breakups before . But this one has hit me terribly.. tried everything but failed.. Help me !!

Why'd you break up with him?

I have to get crazy busy. I attend every networking event, dinner, happy hour (but watch the drinks, if you drunk text like me) I exercise, don't miss a day at the gym, I am militant with my schedule, so that when I lay my head down at night, I'm too exhausted to miss him and fall right asleep but I still miss him in my dreams. I get up and start it all over again.

After some distance you miss him less and less and right when you go to turn the page, the asshole calls or texts or whatever. But your stronger now and that list comes in handy to remind yourself why you need to keep moving on.

Posted by Feral_doe

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Feral_doe

Posted by MyStarsShine
Think about the reason/s you broke up with him and focus on the negative things of the relationship

We tend to remember the good times and then glamourize the past

Write down a list of things you found difficult about him and focus on that

Funny. I've always found the opposite working for me.

I focus on the positive about them as I choose to let go. The idea of thinking negatively about an ex doesn't sit well with me. Whether I tell them or not, I wish them well and go about my life.

Thinking about the negative helps in that it makes you aware of what you DO want, meaning its opposite.

When I finished my last rship....I wrote down a list of all the issues I had between he and I and all the good things...it helped me to remove the rose tinted specs and be realistic.....🙂. The issue list far outweighed the positives and then I knew it was time to move forward >>>>>>>>

That makes sense. I get what you mean then. And I've done something similar. I choose my last thoughts of the ex to be positive rather than negative though.

It's like an acknowledgment that things just cannot work out, but it doesn't change the fact that he or she is a great person in their own right. They must have some redeeming qualities, or I wouldn't have been attracted in the first place.

click to expand

I love what you wrote here 🙂

Yes, i agree, when leaving someone' life, always do it with love

x

I started exercising more to take my mind off things.

Started to go out more and see friends etc..

Eventually time was the healing factor.

After 2 weeks after the breakup when I knew that we weren't going to get back together I resolved not to think about him anymore and start thinking of all the crap that he did during the relationship and all his negative attributes etc..

If all else fails, get yourself out there and start dating again asap..