eric11
@eric11
16 Years500+ Posts
Comments: 0 · Posts: 600 · Topics: 17
I've Cheated -_- (Page 2)
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^^^generally speaking, most depraved sexual acts are born out of some form of abuse. i mean, who wakes up one morning and says, "yes, i think i'd like to play with dung. that gets me soooo hot!"
Yes, all fetishes and most sexual fantasies are born from our childhood days, before puberty! That's why they don't usually make much sense. Little Timmy, age 3, has a funky experence with feet, he might develope a little festish that he'll discover later in life 😉
Eric isn't sex positive. From what I remember, unless I have him mixed up with someone, he is hardcore Christian to boot.
Diana (if you are still around)
The rape fantasy is probably the most common sexual fantasy women have. A lot of women who have suffered from sexual trauma, turn towards BDSM as a way of healing deeper wounds and find a lot of comfort and healing there. A lot of other people, find a lot of healing in sacred sexuality and tantra. If the vibe I am getting from you is right, you have a lot of grief and shame surrounding your body, sexuality, and your self-worth. You really have to grieve your way through it and work it out.
Courage to Heal Workbook by Laura Davis is a great resource to help through your recovery. Also, there are a number of support groups out there too. I think there is one called Incest Survivors Anonymous. (I could be wrong about the name but google and see what comes up.)
You may want to read up on sexuality. I really like Barbara Carrellas but you can look for sacred sexuality workshops or resources in your area.
You're going to be okay. In fact, you really are okay just dealing with a lot of dark stuff at the moment. You have to work on feeling safe and secure in the world because your family didn't give that to you. It will be okay. Will just be bumpy for a bit.
Wishing you lots of happiness and success.
Diana (if you are still around)
The rape fantasy is probably the most common sexual fantasy women have. A lot of women who have suffered from sexual trauma, turn towards BDSM as a way of healing deeper wounds and find a lot of comfort and healing there. A lot of other people, find a lot of healing in sacred sexuality and tantra. If the vibe I am getting from you is right, you have a lot of grief and shame surrounding your body, sexuality, and your self-worth. You really have to grieve your way through it and work it out.
Courage to Heal Workbook by Laura Davis is a great resource to help through your recovery. Also, there are a number of support groups out there too. I think there is one called Incest Survivors Anonymous. (I could be wrong about the name but google and see what comes up.)
You may want to read up on sexuality. I really like Barbara Carrellas but you can look for sacred sexuality workshops or resources in your area.
You're going to be okay. In fact, you really are okay just dealing with a lot of dark stuff at the moment. You have to work on feeling safe and secure in the world because your family didn't give that to you. It will be okay. Will just be bumpy for a bit.
Wishing you lots of happiness and success.
I for once agree with the rat
When tears come down like fallin rain, your cheating heart will tell on you. sang it to me Ray.
Sparrow You got me mixed up with some one else. I am pro-life, but that doesn't make me a Christian. I do believe in God but not specifically in any religion. If I were a hard core bible believing Christian I would not be on this astrology board because most hard cores believe astrology isn't biblical. Sex is a good thing. I never said it wasn't.
🙂
🙂
Aren't you a recovering Christian? (sorry that is the wrong term but I can't think of what the right one would be.) I am pretty sure you said that. I think it still governs your morality and your comfort with certain things.
LS
"Aren't you a recovering Christian? (sorry that is the wrong term but I can't think of what the right one would be.)"
Eric11
The correct term would be are you an ex-Christian (duh) and the answer to that question would be yes.
LS
"I am pretty sure you said that."
Eric11
And?
LS
"I think it still governs your morality and your comfort with certain things."
Eric11
Unless you are speaking from personal experience I wouldn't make such a generalization. For example, my gf is also an ex(former) Christian but today she is as liberal as it gets. What we define as our morality is far more important than what shaped it. For we are all students of life. I said what I said because I have experience with people who suffer from PTSD. I know what it's all about. I am not saying Christianity hasn't shaped me in any way, but I am saying it isn't what motivates my ethics today. You said at verbatim that I am a hard core Christian, and I am saying I am not. Being a former Christian does not continue to make me "hard core". This is the error in your judgment I am pointing out to you.
"Aren't you a recovering Christian? (sorry that is the wrong term but I can't think of what the right one would be.)"
Eric11
The correct term would be are you an ex-Christian (duh) and the answer to that question would be yes.
LS
"I am pretty sure you said that."
Eric11
And?
LS
"I think it still governs your morality and your comfort with certain things."
Eric11
Unless you are speaking from personal experience I wouldn't make such a generalization. For example, my gf is also an ex(former) Christian but today she is as liberal as it gets. What we define as our morality is far more important than what shaped it. For we are all students of life. I said what I said because I have experience with people who suffer from PTSD. I know what it's all about. I am not saying Christianity hasn't shaped me in any way, but I am saying it isn't what motivates my ethics today. You said at verbatim that I am a hard core Christian, and I am saying I am not. Being a former Christian does not continue to make me "hard core". This is the error in your judgment I am pointing out to you.
LS
"The rape fantasy is probably the most common sexual fantasy women have. A lot of women who have suffered from sexual trauma, turn towards BDSM as a way of healing deeper wounds and find a lot of comfort and healing there."
You are aware that rape and BDSM are not the same thing? When you say women fantasize about being raped, are speaking figuratively or literally?
How many women here want to experience rape put up your hands?
BDSM is a SAFE (CONSENSUAL between two people) environment where women and men can experience role playing and kink. Even women have some measure of control in the power fetishes. For example, women/men can choose who they have this experience with. Not just anyone is allowed. For that reason, to say rape is a fantasy is a little inaccurate. I would call it the submision, bondage or dominating fantasy instead.
"The rape fantasy is probably the most common sexual fantasy women have. A lot of women who have suffered from sexual trauma, turn towards BDSM as a way of healing deeper wounds and find a lot of comfort and healing there."
You are aware that rape and BDSM are not the same thing? When you say women fantasize about being raped, are speaking figuratively or literally?
How many women here want to experience rape put up your hands?
BDSM is a SAFE (CONSENSUAL between two people) environment where women and men can experience role playing and kink. Even women have some measure of control in the power fetishes. For example, women/men can choose who they have this experience with. Not just anyone is allowed. For that reason, to say rape is a fantasy is a little inaccurate. I would call it the submision, bondage or dominating fantasy instead.
Actually recovering isn't as weird of a word as you might think. By subscribing to a particular religious discourse, you are really subscribing to a particular way of seeing and participating in the world. Academically, it would be very acceptable to use that term. (Although I realize it sounds funny in this context which really wasn't my intention. I seriously forgot what the layman's term would be. lol!)
Rape fantasies are often played out in BDSM. No one "wants" to be raped. Many people fantasize about it. Fantasy is NOT reality. That being said, it is a common term and usually what they are referred to. When you say you have a rape fantasy, everyone knows what you are talking about. (Notice the word "fantasy". This means people really don't want to be raped but have a fantasy about it.)
(PTSD was the disorder of the day a few years ago. Sort of like Obsessive Compulsive was the disorder of the day in the 90s and biopolar is today. There are cycles of when diagnosis are popular. I use to know when PTSD was popular but have forgotten. I am not discrediting their very real experiences and upset, but I tend to be leery of psychological labels and techniques even though I love our friend on here who is studying this dearly. Personally, I go for holistic over medical models but that is me. I actually suspect this poster isn't as weird as she thinks or believes she is, just inexperienced and unknowledgeable and has some healing to do. And there is really nothing wrong with that in my book.)
Rape fantasies are often played out in BDSM. No one "wants" to be raped. Many people fantasize about it. Fantasy is NOT reality. That being said, it is a common term and usually what they are referred to. When you say you have a rape fantasy, everyone knows what you are talking about. (Notice the word "fantasy". This means people really don't want to be raped but have a fantasy about it.)
(PTSD was the disorder of the day a few years ago. Sort of like Obsessive Compulsive was the disorder of the day in the 90s and biopolar is today. There are cycles of when diagnosis are popular. I use to know when PTSD was popular but have forgotten. I am not discrediting their very real experiences and upset, but I tend to be leery of psychological labels and techniques even though I love our friend on here who is studying this dearly. Personally, I go for holistic over medical models but that is me. I actually suspect this poster isn't as weird as she thinks or believes she is, just inexperienced and unknowledgeable and has some healing to do. And there is really nothing wrong with that in my book.)
LS
"By subscribing to a particular religious discourse, you are really subscribing to a particular way of seeing and participating in the world. "
eric11
Not necessarily. Many religious denominations disagree on fundamental issues like abortion and gay rights. Gays can get married in a united church but not a southern baptist church. Women can teach a congregation in a Northern Baptist church but not a catholic or lutheran church. All these churches would consider themselves christian. So it's mypoic to categorize everyone as the same. I for one know the past doesn't equal the present.
LS:
"Academically, it would be very acceptable to use that term."
eric11
An example please? I used it merely as a pun on semantics with addiction of substance abuse. It was never meant to be taken literally.
LS:
"Rape fantasies are often played out in BDSM. No one "wants" to be raped."
eric11
It isn't rape my dear. You can call it what you will, but at the end of the day it isn't rape.
LS:
Fantasy is NOT reality.
eric11:
Until some one gets hurt.
LS:
"When you say you have a rape fantasy, everyone knows what you are talking about."
eric11:
Clearly not or we wouldn't be having this discussion. Colloquialisms are culturally specific.
LS:
(PTSD was the disorder of the day a few years ago. Sort of like Obsessive Compulsive was the disorder of the day in the 90s and biopolar is today.
eric11:
Hands down you are the best bullshitter I have ever seen on dxp. I better relay this info to my Occupational therapy friends. I think they need to know. 😉 Seriously though. OCD, PTSD, Bi-polar are all current terminologies that explain DIFFERENT pyscological conditions.
LS:
I go for holistic over medical models but that is me.
eric11:
fair enough. I take back the bullshit remark.
"By subscribing to a particular religious discourse, you are really subscribing to a particular way of seeing and participating in the world. "
eric11
Not necessarily. Many religious denominations disagree on fundamental issues like abortion and gay rights. Gays can get married in a united church but not a southern baptist church. Women can teach a congregation in a Northern Baptist church but not a catholic or lutheran church. All these churches would consider themselves christian. So it's mypoic to categorize everyone as the same. I for one know the past doesn't equal the present.
LS:
"Academically, it would be very acceptable to use that term."
eric11
An example please? I used it merely as a pun on semantics with addiction of substance abuse. It was never meant to be taken literally.
LS:
"Rape fantasies are often played out in BDSM. No one "wants" to be raped."
eric11
It isn't rape my dear. You can call it what you will, but at the end of the day it isn't rape.
LS:
Fantasy is NOT reality.
eric11:
Until some one gets hurt.
LS:
"When you say you have a rape fantasy, everyone knows what you are talking about."
eric11:
Clearly not or we wouldn't be having this discussion. Colloquialisms are culturally specific.
LS:
(PTSD was the disorder of the day a few years ago. Sort of like Obsessive Compulsive was the disorder of the day in the 90s and biopolar is today.
eric11:
Hands down you are the best bullshitter I have ever seen on dxp. I better relay this info to my Occupational therapy friends. I think they need to know. 😉 Seriously though. OCD, PTSD, Bi-polar are all current terminologies that explain DIFFERENT pyscological conditions.
LS:
I go for holistic over medical models but that is me.
eric11:
fair enough. I take back the bullshit remark.
I really don't even know what to say but throw up my arms and say whatever. I say the sky is blue. You say no it isn't. There is nothing I can say because I see things the way I see things. I know the things I know. I can't change what is.
They are called rape fantasies. Just because YOU don't know that doesn't mean that most people know what they are. If you walked into just any bar and asked if people knew what a rape fantasy was, they would know what it was. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_fantasy (And I HATE that I am using wikipedia)
Please do tell your "occupational therapist" friends. lol! Trends in psychology are statistically documented. Again, not really sure what you want me to do about that.
Yes. If I said to an academic in my field and used the term recovering Christian, they would know exactly what I am taking about. Religion is a very, very complicated structure. It is fascinating as it works on many levels. Even just on a linguistic level, it is FASCINATING!
Alas, I am not a bullshitter. I just know a lot of shit.
I do not enjoy any part of our discussions so I will not respond to you again. I am busy and find this futile. I can't hear you. You can't hear me. Futile. I really wanted to help the original poster. From what I can tell you have no desire to support, encourage, or help her so I have zero interest in engaging you. Take Care.
They are called rape fantasies. Just because YOU don't know that doesn't mean that most people know what they are. If you walked into just any bar and asked if people knew what a rape fantasy was, they would know what it was. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_fantasy (And I HATE that I am using wikipedia)
Please do tell your "occupational therapist" friends. lol! Trends in psychology are statistically documented. Again, not really sure what you want me to do about that.
Yes. If I said to an academic in my field and used the term recovering Christian, they would know exactly what I am taking about. Religion is a very, very complicated structure. It is fascinating as it works on many levels. Even just on a linguistic level, it is FASCINATING!
Alas, I am not a bullshitter. I just know a lot of shit.
I do not enjoy any part of our discussions so I will not respond to you again. I am busy and find this futile. I can't hear you. You can't hear me. Futile. I really wanted to help the original poster. From what I can tell you have no desire to support, encourage, or help her so I have zero interest in engaging you. Take Care.
LS:
"I really don't even know what to say but throw up my arms and say whatever. I say the sky is blue. You say no it isn't. There is nothing I can say because I see things the way I see things. I know the things I know. I can't change what is."
eric11
When we say we know everything there is to know, it is game over. I only contradict you because you have a habbit of using stereotypical generalizations for almost all your arguments with me. I can't help but point them out.
LS:
"They are called rape fantasies. Just because YOU don't know that doesn't mean that most people know what they are."
eric11
You said EVERYONE knows what it is, you didn't say MOST or SOME, which would imply a majority but NOT EVERYBODY. And yes I know it is called a rape fantasy, that wasn't what was in dispute. I was pointing out that that colloqual term is inaccurate. Do you understand?
LS:
"Please do tell your "occupational therapist" friends. lol! Trends in psychology are statistically documented. Again, not really sure what you want me to do about that."
eric11:
Can you send me a reference so I may check this "statistic document". I will be more than happy to pass it on. Question for you though. Have you ever studied psychology on a university level?
LS:
"Religion is a very, very complicated structure. It is fascinating as it works on many levels. Even just on a linguistic level, it is FASCINATING!"
eric11:
I study religious people more than religion. I had enough of religion to last me a life time but religious people fascinate me.
LS:
"Alas, I am not a bullshitter. I just know a lot of shit."
eric11:
At least we agree on that. 😉
LS:
"I do not enjoy any part of our discussions so I will not respond to you again. I am busy and find this futile. I can't hear you. You can't hear me. Futile. I really wanted to help the original poster. From what I can tell you have no desire to support, encourage, or help her so I have zero interest in engaging you. Take Care."
eric11:
You needn't tell me this. I never invited you to respond to me in the first place but make no mistake I will never turn from a discussion. No hard feelings. I agree with alot of people on dxpnet, but you are definately not one of them.
Cheers!
"I really don't even know what to say but throw up my arms and say whatever. I say the sky is blue. You say no it isn't. There is nothing I can say because I see things the way I see things. I know the things I know. I can't change what is."
eric11
When we say we know everything there is to know, it is game over. I only contradict you because you have a habbit of using stereotypical generalizations for almost all your arguments with me. I can't help but point them out.
LS:
"They are called rape fantasies. Just because YOU don't know that doesn't mean that most people know what they are."
eric11
You said EVERYONE knows what it is, you didn't say MOST or SOME, which would imply a majority but NOT EVERYBODY. And yes I know it is called a rape fantasy, that wasn't what was in dispute. I was pointing out that that colloqual term is inaccurate. Do you understand?
LS:
"Please do tell your "occupational therapist" friends. lol! Trends in psychology are statistically documented. Again, not really sure what you want me to do about that."
eric11:
Can you send me a reference so I may check this "statistic document". I will be more than happy to pass it on. Question for you though. Have you ever studied psychology on a university level?
LS:
"Religion is a very, very complicated structure. It is fascinating as it works on many levels. Even just on a linguistic level, it is FASCINATING!"
eric11:
I study religious people more than religion. I had enough of religion to last me a life time but religious people fascinate me.
LS:
"Alas, I am not a bullshitter. I just know a lot of shit."
eric11:
At least we agree on that. 😉
LS:
"I do not enjoy any part of our discussions so I will not respond to you again. I am busy and find this futile. I can't hear you. You can't hear me. Futile. I really wanted to help the original poster. From what I can tell you have no desire to support, encourage, or help her so I have zero interest in engaging you. Take Care."
eric11:
You needn't tell me this. I never invited you to respond to me in the first place but make no mistake I will never turn from a discussion. No hard feelings. I agree with alot of people on dxpnet, but you are definately not one of them.
Cheers!
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I am all for talking about sex in context of timing. IMO theres nothing wrong with that. It's just the lady you're defending wasn't talking about sex so much as she was confessing her secrets about her fantasies that was stemmed from abuse childhood. A whole different can of worms. For that reason alone I am treating her case differently.