Money or Love (Page 2)

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I don't know, depending on where one is traveling, it may not be a good idea for a woman to travel alone, you know? But I do see your point... not to let the lack of a S.O. stop you from enjoying what you like doing...

🙂

what is this "love" they speak of—

Posted by PandorasBox
both. one influences the other. they are capable of enhancing each other.

I agree with this one! Haven't you all heard the saying? "It's just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as it is a poor one." I know I am going to sound like a "gold digger" but I am going to try and make a point.
I hope I don't get judged too harshly b/c I have been with two very poor men so I do know what it's like to be with a man for "love" over money.
Have any of you grown up really poor? I mean REALLY poor? I have. I lived in the ghetto with a single parent mom. Never knew my father. My mom had $ 20 in her pocket and had to spend some of it for an outfit to take me home from the hospital and she had a army raincoat to her name. Her family disowned her b/c I was illegitimate so she was taken in by a friend and my crib was a drawer before being upgraded to a clothes basket. She worked as a housekeeper in a hospital not making hardly anything. She should have given me up for adoption like she had planned to but the doctor talked her into seeing me and when she did she couldn't go through with it. We struggled so bad that at times we didn't know where our next meal would come from. I had to get clothes from the clothing bank and the only real good meal I would get sometimes would be at school. I was made fun of left and right and was a very shy, insecure and withdrawn child. My mom would get involved with men that were also poor and nothing ever changed. She tried school at one point but there weren't programs like there are now to help people with childcare, school expenses or just being able to have enough to live on without working so she could finish school. This led me to hanging out with Bloods and Cryps (gang members) as I got older and was living the wild side b/c that is the environment I grew up in. I became pregnant at 17 and the father was a poor, alcoholic drug addict but I "loved" him. We tried to make it work for years and even became "saved" (accepted Jesus as our Lord and Saviour) and had another baby 2 1/2 years later. I did have a decent job as an asst mgr of an apartment community but he still wasn't working and had already had a stint in prison. We at least could make it. Finally I wisened up as he kept getting in trouble and using our money for drugs and I left him.

I went to school to become a medical assistant as my last drug addict, alcoholic, poor husband had stole my master key and robbed our office and of course they couldn't keep me on after that. I decided to go to school as a single parent of two young children and luckily had my mom (on disability) to take care of my kids at least. I was celibate and in the church for 7 years and grew a lot spiritually and emotionally. I got frustrated in the church b/c I was always looked at like the "spiritual mother" or one to go to for advice by the men and I left the church. (not just for that reason though) I met a man and he was visiting "legally" from Mexico and we fell in "love" and he overstayed his visa so had to work illegally which spells out "poor" but we married anyways. We struggled and the love went by the wayside after a number of years although not just b/c of the money situation but other factors as well.
I say all of this to say that I want BOTH next man. If you have never had to worry about where your next meal came from or how you were going to buy your kids winter coats or even some presents at Christmas time than you may not understand how very difficult it can be to be poor. I am not saying that I just want to be "rescued" as I made it on my own for a very long time as a single mom but I do want more in life now and I want some comforts that I haven't ever experienced. I am going to school to become a nurse so that I can and will have my own money but that is still a struggle when I have to work a full time job at the same time. So if a rich man comes along that wants to be with me and I like him too why can't we fall in love as well as any other man?
Judge me if you like but that is how I feel. I don't want to have to practically take care of a man again just b/c I fell in "love" with him. Been there, done that. I want to have someone that cares enough about me and has the means to give me a hand up for once.

BTW...I do not regret the person I have become through the struggles as I have so much empathy and can relate to people from all walks of life, I have fortitude and warmth but I tell you that it is a very hard and disparaging road that I would not wish on another although it happens all the time and even harder roads for so many.
The Bible even says that "Money answers all things" but it also says "the LOVE of money is the root of all evil" so there is a balance that can be obtained and I guess that is the hard part for a lot of people that have a lot of money. I think when people grow up poor and then get money they tend to be much better stewards of it and don't let it consume them as much. Just my opinion.
🙂

I would choose love if the man was independent, takes his responsibilities seriously, and knows what he wants in life because I know that we can make things work. However, love with a dependant, scattered, lazy man or going for money without love never works, at least for me!