Not Telling Them what They Want to Hear

Has this situation ever been presented to you with your man/lady? I think so many people fall into the trap of telling the opposite sex... —the right answer??... they end up totally misrepresenting themselves. Then when words need to be backed by action.. you run into game playing

Because one originally never stated their true feelings... they just placated.

My guy has a lot going on in his head, right now. He needs to focus on figuring it out. Being in a less than positive state, less than positive characteristics tend to make their way to the surface. In his case... His Taurus Moon and Scorpio Mars like to know that his —possession?? is safe and secure. At home.

I don't mind this, I like alone time and solitude and secretly I was delighted cause I had an excuse to lay around and do nothing. I told him I was choosing to blow off engagements and friends and be home.

Idk how this sat with him, but later he asked me to —wait for him.?? You know, not get crazy and start demanding things because he's not giving me what he wants to give. He is giving me what I NEED but doesn't feel good because he feels I WANT/DESERVE more and he's not living up to his full potential.

(Of course this is my interpretation because I don't know any men who speak clearly and forthcoming like this. I had to read between the lines)

I told him I understand and I'm not going anywhere. This wasn't a good enough answer for him and he wanted me to promise that I would never leave him.

This is where it gets weird. I couldn't tell him that. I wanted to soothe his fears and worries and reassure him... but I wasn't going to lie. If things get crazy, dangerous, or violent and I feel I'm in danger physically or emotionally... I will leave. But in THIS situation... I understand and am not going anywhere.

His reaction was to get very, very excited. Tell me I was a bad ass, that I will always keep him on his toes... and proceeded to make me scream until the wee hours of the morning. I was surprised by this response.

Have you had any experiences where you did/didn't tell a partner your truth, and what were the results?

^^ yes.. i can see how that would be a deterrent to openness 😢

Simple. Just be honest & be yourself.

One b/c some people are really good at sniffing out a "smooth talker" or "yes man/girl" & will in return get turned off completely and 2. B/c a person's true colors end up coming out in the long run anyways.

It's better to see the truth early on instead of being blindsighted & finding out later. And unfortunately, sometimes a person may purposely leave you/play you if they see those flaws later.

But not b/c those flaws are deal breaking but moreso b/c pole have a thing about feeling mislead.

Personally, I'd hate for someone to fall in love with the person I'm pretending to be & vice versa

Plus, remember communication is so important, if not the most important factor in a relationship.

If you can't be yourself or speak your mind, then it's fair to say that half, if not most, of your bond with that person is not genuine or real.

If 2 people ever expect to last for the long haul, the 1st thing they've both gotta master is the art of being honest, being themselves, & being able to talk about everything

It's impossible to have the kind of 'we talk about everything' friendship/relationship if most of what's truly important to you (or what's hurting you) is always kept hidden