Prenuptial Agreements...

Would you sign a prenuptial agreement so that your partner's assets (that he/she acquired pre-marriage) could be 'protected' in the event of divorce?

How would you feel about a partner who has asked you to sign a pre-nup?

Yes I would and I wouldn't have a problem with it. If you genuinely loved your spouse, you wouldn't care about their assets. Any man that marries without a prenuptial agreement set in stone is moronic IMO. Huge risk.



Why? Because how screwed up marriage and its laws are in this country. I advise men never to get married or to at least wait until much later. When that time comes, the discussion for a pre-nup should come up (you can not fully trust a woman in this day and age the way you used to lol, seriously). The only person gaining from a divorce in this country is the woman, point blank. Countless stories of men being "raped in court" by the woman they once loved. It's sad and pathetic.




P.S. And men, think twice before deciding on opening a joint bank account!! lol.



Marriage is slowing losing it's meaning anyway so :/

I would have NO problem signing a prenup and on the reverse, I wouldn't have a problem asking a man to sign a prenup. Rest assured everything starts out all roses and posies and then can go horribly awry. People who have family assets or have worked hard to amass wealth should NOT have to give it away. But I will say if I did get married and didn't have him sign a pre nup; if I wasn't happy in the relationship (and I'm not talking normal relationship issues) I would gladly pay 1/2 to get
get on w/my life. I know it's hard to imagine, money isn't everything, but I would gladly pay half so I could get rid of him and get on with life. Lie

I got cut off! I was going to say, life is too short and precious to waste it on people who aren't worth it.

I'm feeling sorta blurry on the issue -

I would have a problem b/c I am sure that I would contribute financially and most likely help him maintain/grow such assets...

OR

I would sign a pre-nup if assets were STRICTLY for children that he had BEFORE we got together. And they would have to be clearly itemized in black/white and revisited frequently.

I'm still pondering this issue...

From my own experience..I've asked my solicitor about pre-nups and was told they really wouldn't hold up in court and not worth the paper it's written on. (New Zealand) Esp when your assets aren't in the multi millions. And taking note of the rich and famous, most of the ex-partners when separating from their spouses still got millions...they just may not have gotten 50% of all the other parties assets. So I believe there is a point of which you can protect certain assets.

Having said that...in my own mind, I'm definitely alot more cautious in who I'm with and what they have. If someone gets to my age and has nothing to show for their years I'd probably keep them at arms length (separate living arrangements)...Sad but True😢 and if I were to consider going down that path again it's because I'm completely satisfied that they aren't just looking for an easy ride.

All I can say is people who live in common property states who decide to wed have it a little easier...

I would not sign a prenup and most likely I would never marry a man who had THAT much money to even consider protecting his assests. If you choose your partner wisely you wont have to worry about getting raped in court. When a relationship comes to an end there will most certainly be bitterness and resentment. How you handle it is all about character. So again, choose your mate wisely.

Posted by Klover_Fish
I would not sign a prenup and most likely I would never marry a man who had THAT much money to even consider protecting his assests. If you choose your partner wisely you wont have to worry about getting raped in court. When a relationship comes to an end there will most certainly be bitterness and resentment. How you handle it is all about character. So again, choose your mate wisely.

I agree, if you are dealing with two reasonable people; however, there is an expression/song "There's A Thin Line Between Love & Hate." There is a line in the song - "The same things that make you laugh will make you cry." I've seen it happen more than once. Two people in love. Stellar people who are both impeccable character. Then, one falls out of love/one cheats/one lies/ whatever the case may be, these two in love, normal, well adjusted people lose their minds. I've seen it many times over, and it's not a pretty sight. Does it happen everytime? No, but it's very prevalent.
I have no problem with a guy saying, "Hey, my granddad/dad/grandmother/mother, etc, made a lot of money and is passing it on to me and my siblings. They want it to be protected." I get it, I had NOTHING to do with them making/getting that money. If a man has 100 million dollars prior to us getting married, and he makes 100 million while we are together, but things don't work out, I don't think I am entiteld to anything! But, if we had kids, I would hope he would do right by them, and I would make provisions to ensure the children were taking care of; otherwise, his prior money is NOT my money and I wouldn't even try to lay claim to it.

@ Fleo...my mother did just that with her partner now of 30 years. His money was his and hers was her own, everything was divided equally even the share in the house they bought because he came with nothing and she had already something like 100,000k.

Now 30 years on, she's retired and he's 12 years younger so is still working. Her pension is effected and now the trouble has started from her telling him he cant work over time as everytime he does she gets cut etc she barely earns anything but he's not going to support her. After all she made the rules to suit her and stuck by it all those years.

It's opened my eyes to that type of relationship, and she says now what will I do when I find someone...def not that ^^^^^

I see no problem with it if I were asked. I'm thinking about doing it myself though I don't have much. 😛 But what I have is MINE and I worked for it and I'm a Taurus rising 😄. I've never had anything given to me. I've been through it once with an ex boyfriend. We were young and I was DUMB. When I moved out he got everything but my clothes. I had nada. We had bought everything together or combined everything. He was pissed that I left him so before I could go back to get my stuff he put a restraining order on me. Cowardly bastard.
So I had to start over at 22 with nothing.

I don't have alot of trust for anyone so I don't blame someone for wanting a prenup. I think it's wise in fact.

I think I would be very offended if I were asked to sign a pre nup. It really raises issues of trust. In my past relationships I've walked away from everything, including my own stuff. I'm the kind of woman who doesn't want to keep what was even given to me by my partner.

I realize often pre nups have to do with money, the house, big ticket items. But, if someone knows me well enough then they would realize that those types of things are not important to me in the scheme of things. I don't understand why people feel that they need such crap. All I need is a roof over my head (singing *the woman I love laying in my bed, it's all right, all right, it's all right by meeee* - oops, got sidetracked). I guess I'm just practical - I'll take my Honda Civic Hybrid over a Lexus, BMW, Mercedes or Jag any day!!

As far as joint bank accounts, I think it makes sense to have your own personal accounts but have a joint account that the bills are paid out of. Again, this comes down to the trust issue as well though in that you need to trust that the person overseeing that account is paying all the bills and not skimming off of the top - that's solved by having a true partnership.

In the end, having both parties financially comfortable in their own is probably a good thing. Therefore, the union is not one in which one party feels that it is in their economical best interest to go down that road. This would be in an ideal world I suppose (ok, an ideal world is where people didn't feel the necessity to even have pre nups because of the few dishonest souls out there), but this is rare and we don't always choose who we fall in love with.

Interesting Topics LR36! Im going to comment here and also on your other thread regarding the other woman.

First, a pre-nup... I wouldnt have a problem signing one. You can look at it different ways, I guess.... some women are offended by it as suggested by the comments in this thread, but others are not and all are valid concerns. I for one think it totally depends on the situation, the relationship and the persons involved. I see it like this, if you are truly selective in who you choose as a life partner, then what difference does it make what the two you decide to do financially? I for one dont see it as a detrimental factor to a relationship. Hopefully, if the union is strong enough, its something you never have to actually exercise, thus never becoming an issue. However, reality is that sometimes no matter how much in love you are, things change in life. When I married, I never thought divorce would be in my future, but life happens and unfortunately, my 16 year marriage ended. When we met, we were both young and really had nothing much to our names. During the course of the marriage, WE built a successful company together, acquired many assets and then subsequently tragedy struck in our family, changing the course of our lives forever.

So trust me, you NEVER know what life has in store for you or where you are going to end up. You never know what jealousy, hate and vengeance will do to a person and change them into someone you don't know! I am not one to fight for anything that I dont feel I deserve (however peoples perception of what they deserve is subjective), I was MORE than fair in our divorce and as a result we now have a very amicable relationship and my ex has much respect for me as a woman and an ex-wife. So, it's up to the individual as what feels right for them IMO. You are the one that has to sleep at night and you are the only one you have to be accountable for, so do what you feel is right for you.

Of course, a pre-nup does not have to be a one way street either. He wants a pre-nup, you make sure you draw up your own as well (or have it as a joint document). e.g., You cheat on him you get nothing, he cheats on you, you get everything 🙂

Posted by LeoLadyLovesToBeLoved


So trust me, you NEVER know what life has in store for you or where you are going to end up. You never know what jealousy, hate and vengeance will do to a person and change them into someone you don't know! I am not one to fight for anything that I dont feel I deserve (however peoples perception of what they deserve is subjective), I was MORE than fair in our divorce and as a result we now have a very amicable relationship and my ex has much respect for me as a woman and an ex-wife. So, it's up to the individual as what feels right for them IMO. You are the one that has to sleep at night and you are the only one you have to be accountable for, so do what you feel is right for you.

Amen lady! The reality is that you can start out w/the best relationship under the sun, but you NEVER know what someone will do if they feel their backs are against the wall or they've been wronged, etc.
Protect your ass-ets; and I'm not simply talking about material things - I'm talking mind, body and spirit too. Don't let someone break you down. Too often I've seen women stay in awful relationships because they feel like they are nothing and can't take care of themselves. Mind you, these women prior to marriage/serious relationships were well adjusted, working, attractive women, yet they let their situation and abuse break them down. Sometimes it's better to cut your losses and move on...imho.

Posted by USCTaurusGal

Amen lady! The reality is that you can start out w/the best relationship under the sun, but you NEVER know what someone will do if they feel their backs are against the wall or they've been wronged, etc.
Protect your ass-ets; and I'm not simply talking about material things - I'm talking mind, body and spirit too. Don't let someone break you down. Too often I've seen women stay in awful relationships because they feel like they are nothing and can't take care of themselves. Mind you, these women prior to marriage/serious relationships were well adjusted, working, attractive women, yet they let their situation and abuse break them down. Sometimes it's better to cut your losses and move on...imho.

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Yes Ma'am! You are spot on with this one girl! It may hurt for a while, but you will heal. Trust me, I thought I was dying a couple of times but then I realized I was still breathing so I must be alive. In the end.... it all works out. Not to be cliche... but what doesnt kill us truly does make us stronger!

@ Fleo, my mother made her own bed. She always had her hand out for 50% of everything right down to a lottery ticket and if he didnt pay every cent then he wouldn't be entitled to half. She would say how he would miss a percentage if they won the big one and that could amount to alot! When going out the only time anyone was shouted is, if it were their birthday so she paid for what she ate & drunk and he paid for himself. 30 years this went on this way but now that he has the upper hand we hear her squeal (my brothers & I) she still has money to see her through the rest of her life without hardship but her income is low.

We feel she made her bed and now she has to lie in it and so does her partner. It's funny that now she thinks it should be different and that he should look after her. Maybe if she had been a little lenient in some of her decisions along the way it might be different but she wasn't!

Posted by FLeo Lives On

Posted by Gingerscorp
I see no problem with it if I were asked. I'm thinking about doing it myself though I don't have much. 😛 But what I have is MINE and I worked for it and I'm a Taurus rising 😄. I've never had anything given to me. I've been through it once with an ex boyfriend. We were young and I was DUMB. When I moved out he got everything but my clothes. I had nada. We had bought everything together or combined everything. He was pissed that I left him so before I could go back to get my stuff he put a restraining order on me. Cowardly bastard.
So I had to start over at 22 with nothing.

I don't have alot of trust for anyone so I don't blame someone for wanting a prenup. I think it's wise in fact.

Thank you times six Gingerscorp for sharing that testimony BECAUSE it's hearing testimonies like that that I LISTEN to and able to LEARN from.

I've got two BFFs -- Prevention and Caution. Them two is what keeps me out of butter. It makes for a very boring life because I don't have alot of dramatic stories to share where I was dragged though stuff, but at least when people like you share your stories, all of the ears your words fall on are not deaf.

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Exactly what I'm saying... Prevention and Caution. I see nothing wrong with wanting to protect myself and vise versa. I find it really odd when people get offended at pre nups. There is something suspicious about it.

I'm not saying that I'm not comfortable in my relationship and I don't trust Aries but I've seen it one too many times. Like it was said before... you start out all in love and everything is rainbows and kittens but there is a possiblity that something could happen. I believe in being prepared for everything. So instead of being dishonest and socking money away "in case" and not telling Aries what I'm up to I could easily draw up a list of what is to be mine IF anything happens. I'm not going to work my ass off for the things I have to possibley have it all taken away from me (again) if the marriage doesn't work out. And it DOES work out.... cool... grand.... great. There is simply a piece of legal paper somewhere that is not harming me or my relationship.

We've both spoken of it before and although he did care one way or another he also wasn't offended by my train of thought. He completely understands where I'm coming from. I don't want to take anything HE has earned either. He dodged one too many bullets and watch one too many good men die.... he EARNED what is his. I'm not AT ALL offended that he'd want to protect that.

Leave the romance out of it. It's practical and logical. Just because I have it legally drawn up that he can't take my shit away from me IF there was something to happen doesn't mean we aren't still romantic with each other. LOL That just sounds silly to me.

Oh god...this doesn't get easy and I thought I was a reformed Libra that has done away with the indecision. Everyones points are so valid and I agree with all the pros and cons but in my delimma I cant make up my mind which way I go!!!

Just as well there isn't a definite suitor but at the moment my train of thought is IF I was to consider marriage and a full life with someone then I wouldn't worry about a pre-nup. I think my choice of character from previous experience wouldn't be the type for it to turn nasty. (I have a 100% track record) But that's the way I am thinking now...And of course there will be a need to discuss the subject prior to marriage as he will probably have his own assets and children to consider too.

Of course if marriage isnt considered then there is NO problem whatsoever because no one is moving in with me or sharing full time my boudoir!

I can't tell you how much this topic does my head in!!!!!!

I would not. Legally, I know I should. I would want my children to receive my house or belongings if something happened to me. But some of that can be taken care of in a Last Will and Testament.

However, if I married a man and we started building a life together, I would hate to think my home and car could be taken from me because I signed a pre-nup. If I contribute money to the household (even if the home had been his for 15 years before I came along), that should be considered my home also. In NC, if you had it before marriage, it is not marital property.

I guess we'd have to sell everything and go in jointly to be protected.

Posted by itsthelaw
I would not. Legally, I know I should. I would want my children to receive my house or belongings if something happened to me. But some of that can be taken care of in a Last Will and Testament.

However, if I married a man and we started building a life together, I would hate to think my home and car could be taken from me because I signed a pre-nup. If I contribute money to the household (even if the home had been his for 15 years before I came along), that should be considered my home also. In NC, if you had it before marriage, it is not marital property.

I guess we'd have to sell everything and go in jointly to be protected.

Hey! That's an option I didn't even think of - A Last Will & Testament. Perhaps, this is the answer to it all.

Smart lady you are, ITL

Posted by FLeo Lives On

Posted by FeistyAquarian
haha
but I am 1,000,000% sure of it!

Oooooo, don't say a million percent -- bring that back down to 100% . Every time a girl on Maury says she's a million percent sure, SHE'S ALWAYS WRONG!! Those who say 100% though -- they be right!! 🙂 So let's bring your surety back down to 100% !! 🙂

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Too damn funny....

Gary, YOU are NOT the pappy! Gary jumps up and does the funky chicken and the girl runs off stage screaming like a lunatic...

How in the hell are you screwing so many men that you have no clue who you procreated with? Beats the hell out of me.

Posted by Jason2213
🙂 *takes notes*

No prenuptial agreements.

You are still young, you have PLENTY of time to make this determination - whichever way you decide.

Posted by eden 3
leolady- "When I married, I never thought divorce would be in my future, but life happens and unfortunately, my 16 year marriage ended. When we met, we were both young and really had nothing much to our names. During the course of the marriage, WE built a successful company together, acquired many assets and then subsequently tragedy struck in our family, changing the course of our lives forever."

i am so sorry *squeezes L.L.* be strong girl!

Aw shucks... thanks Eden *squeezes back* I am fantastic now though!!! Every experience is one to learn from and this is no exception. I knew that I had great friends, but I never really knew just how amazing they really were until I truly needed them. Personally, this experience brought me a newfound realization of my personal strength and friendships! I am truly blessed!

Posted by USCTaurusGal

Posted by Jason2213
🙂 *takes notes*

No prenuptial agreements.

You are still young, you have PLENTY of time to make this determination - whichever way you decide.

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Listen to this Jason! PLENTY of time!

What's wrong with a prenuptial agreement? 😄 I think they are a great idea.

I wouldn't marry anyone unless a prenup was involved.