The most condescending thing to say during a break up

I don't deserve you

It's not you its me

I've got to focus on ....(that was a part of their life prior to getting involved with you)

Why can't people say

I don't want to do the work

I don't see a future if we stay together

I'm not as interested in you as I thought I would be

Because they are a bunch of weak pusssiieess!

Posted by Pisco
Every time I have been completely honest, the response is worse than if I had just said "i don't deserve you". I've genuinely thought that though, especially if you're with a good person and the spark isn't there anymore. I think that if someone is in love/infatuated more so than the other person, any response you give them will leave them emotionally unsatisfied, because what they really want is for you to stay and make it work rather than leave.

I agree with the last part here. I do on the other hand appreciate honesty. I'd much rather hear "Im no longer interested than "Maybe this is bad timing". With the later it leaves room for hope while the former allows me to move on to someone else without any lingering possibilities. The first time someone was honest with me I felt such relief and have zero bad or unresolved feelings toward them.

Has to be the phrase "Take care". That hits a nerve like you wouldn't believe

"You're not feminine enough" - said a month or so afterwards, not during the ending itself.

If a person comes to the conclusion that they should break away sometimes it's better to just say, "I'm ending it and the reasons why don't matter…"

Because they truly don't once someone feels they don't have the effort. Explaining why won't do anything. The other person will just defend themselves, flat out deny, or something could be said too harshly.. Leaving you racking your brain in a worse way. Something as simple as saying you or the relationship isn't *worth* the effort could be maximized on negatively in your mind.. For too long. Idk.. Bitterness from no explanation seems better to me in the long run unless the breaker upper really isn't sure and they're bringing up the reasons hoping to be talked out of it and reassured.

condescending? hmm..

"it's ok, you're just not at my level" *pats head*

not that anyone's ever said that to me, but if they did, they'd be dressing up as Captain Hook for Halloween for the rest of their life...

You need to let go and move on. You broke up with him, so why are you all pissy, you wanted him to fight for you? Well love that is the gamble you took by teasing him with a breakup.

Oh wait. But then you said he broke up with you. Yeah, you never did bother to clarify in the last thread.

Anyway move on.

Posted by malloryor
You need to let go and move on. You broke up with him, so why are you all pissy, you wanted him to fight for you? Well love that is the gamble you took by teasing him with a breakup.

Oh wait. But then you said he broke up with you. Yeah, you never did bother to clarify in the last thread.

Anyway move on.

Neither of us contacted each other. I'm allowed to mourn, post, process without supervision

Posted by livictori

Posted by malloryor
You need to let go and move on. You broke up with him, so why are you all pissy, you wanted him to fight for you? Well love that is the gamble you took by teasing him with a breakup.

Oh wait. But then you said he broke up with you. Yeah, you never did bother to clarify in the last thread.

Anyway move on.

Neither of us contacted each other. I'm allowed to mourn, post, process without supervision

click to expand

Who said you contacted him? It just seems mighty selfiah to be pissed at him when you iniatiated the breakup.

Your pride is prolonging your anguish here, not him so either be real and acknowlede it or give it a rest. For your sanity.

initiated*

Posted by lovinglioness1115
@malloryor Calm down, lol. Although, I do agree with what you're saying.

Dont tell me to be calm when I am. OP has been ranting about this guy but she broke up with him, pretty selfish.

1) this post isn't about us. It's about things people say at the end of a relationship that I been seeing while processing my own.

2) we haven't even been broken up for a week so I don't know what feelings I'm supposed to have according to you

Posted by livictori
1) this post isn't about us. It's about things people say at the end of a relationship that I been seeing while processing my own.

2) we haven't even been broken up for a week so I don't know what feelings I'm supposed to have according to you

Don't listen to the peanut gallery. Process shit however you need too. If that means being angry, even just for the sake of your ego, then so be it.

The sooner you cycle through these emotions the sooner you can close this chapter in your life and move onto bigger and better.