Women doing the chasing (Page 2)

So I'm done with this post....chasing men is not wrong IMO but some women choose to stick with the blueprint because the original blueprint works especially when a woman is ready to have something less shallow in her life with a man.

I'm completely aware of this new age genre/society that wants to be different, go along with men and do the whole FWB thing, dating with no attachments thing, look around on DXP, look at how many women are howling about how confused she feels over how she's allowed a man to lead her NOWHERE and if you look around DXP and in the world many women are definitely paying a heavy price for going along with the new age do it his way to get a man mentality, i'm completely fine with what a woman chooses to do with her time, her life, her body, her energy, experience is the best communicator, is the best teacher, a woman will find out through her own experiences if chasing works for her, IMO chasing a man doesn't bring women the type of man that will do his part/reciprocate but WHAT REALLY matters is happiness, is she happy chasing a man and if so then do what works for you, if your happy, that is all that truly matters....

Just read a thread on DXP one of many, man stared her down, gave all these messages of interest, she took that as a sign of interest, she gave him her number, no phone call, after all that flirting he has a girlfriend, no communication, nothing, now she's devastated by his rejection, this kills self esteem in women that's why it's not encouraged and it's never been encouraged for women to place themselves as the masculine energy with men.

So I'm done, good luck Candeh and remember to be smart when dating, you can chase a man, your an adult, you can do whatever you want to do but if you find that the experience is negative for you then of course be smart and stop banging your head against the wall, everyone has to learn how to drive the right way on the right side of the street, there are just some things we do because it works, YES do what you want and let your experience TEACH you if it's right for you...

Posted by krysrenee7

Sure, society teaches men to be providers, to be the leaders & to be aggressive, BUT the reality is that NOT ALL Men are this way. And even better, some of the most successful & level-headed men have found themselves in awesome relationships that started out with him being chased. Not ALL men give a damn enough to chase a woman initially & do all the work, just for the woman to sit back (with no true or valid reason for why she can't give/put in the same) & act like she's the princess that's supposed to have everything given/done for her.

I agree.
I mean... I would chase but there are limits. If I see she's just sitting back and not chasing at all then I lose interest and move on.

I'm far too impulsive to follow rules in dating. I do what I want. Sometimes I might want to talk to you 5 times that day and so I'll call you 5 times that day. Other times I may not want to speak with you for multiple days on end...so I won't speak to you for multiple days on end. All in all, I don't sit around waiting for a guy to make all the moves. That's just way too boring for my tastes. I like to tease, I like to flirt, I like to surprise, I like to be alone, I like to be affectionate, silly, serious, romantic, etc. lol

If it feels right, I do it. As long as I know he's feeling me and I'm not putting myself out there for someone not interested in reciprocating, its all good!

I've been reading everyone's input and it's all very appreciated. I can't remember who said this (and I'll admit, I'm a little too lazy to go back and look), but this person said that when there is an actual connection, the chasing should be mutual and comfortable. This is something that stuck out to me the most. I agree that women shouldn't always be expected to take the initiative because men are automatically going to come to you; if they don't, there is probably some insecurity, even if it is masked by laziness. However, I don't expect the man to do EVERY single little aspect of the courting. Honestly, I'd be a little offput by this. Although, I don't expect the guy to take such a huge step back that I'm ding everything. I refuse to be involved in more relationships where I'm only one putting in the effort; in relationships, someone is always going to put in a little more than the other, but it should never be one-sided. In a good courting, the chasing should be mutual enough that one person isn't doing everything. Someone said it should be like one person is tossing a ball, and there should be enough going on to allow the other to toss the ball back. There isn't an exact art to chasing, and I do realize now that chasing comes in many shapes and forms. For myself, when I'm comfortable with a guy, I have no qualms with being the one to text first, to ask the person to come spend time with me, to make plans, ect ect. But I'm not going to sit there and wait or the guy to return the favor. I have a life, too.

With this gem boy I'm talking to right now, it's been very comfortable between us, and while I don't know where it's going, I've been able to (and for the first time in a long time) comfortably ask him on "little dates," initiate texts or conversations, but I don't do so much that it's suffocating him and taking all the chase from his end. If I don't hear from him in a couple of days, I'm okay.

Again, thanks everyone. The more I get insight, the more I sort of understand how it all works, even if there isn't a set way to go about it. But what I do know now is how it shouldn't be.

LOL 4th.

Depends on the man, depends on the woman.

Correction.
real men lurve being chased, it's great !
Who's gonna pounce first ?
🙂
You may actually be dealing with what's known as a puss-aayyy !🙂

Oh you men. This is why I made this topic hahaha.