Nefer
@Nefer
16 Years1,000+ PostsPisces
Comments: 5 · Posts: 4081 · Topics: 4
Back and w/ more detail to analyze
Oh, and as far as what to do when you walk away.. let me ask you something.. be reallllly realllly honest with yourself for a second.. if you decide to leave, why are you wanting to TELL him you're leaving?
Is it maybe because you're hoping it'll be a nudge in the "right" direction, the "relationship" direction? That he'll not want to lose you and he'll "fight" for you, or at least tell you he doesn't want you to go? What are you hoping for when you TELL him you're leaving? Cuz TELLING him turns it into an ultimatum, you know. Not good -- you won't get the reaction you want.
It'll turn a nice, strong, full of self-esteem action like walking away from something that feels bad to you, that hurts you.. into a low-esteem, ultimatum, needy, please talk me into staying cuz I'm not strong enough to do what's best for myself (even if I FEEL like a piece of ass cuz you're TREATING me like a piece of ass!) kind of statement. And that's bad. That's the OPPOSITE of the message you want to send.
IF you walk away, IF you decide that this doesn't feel good to you and you're worth more.. do it right. Head high, and not a PEEP from you. He's a big boy, he'll figure it out, trust me. And there's like 3.5 BILLION guys in the world.. why get hung up on ONE that can't/won't give you what you want/need? The longer you stay with a someone who isn't giving you a fulfilling relationship, the longer you have to wait before finding the one who WILL give you that. While you're tied up with HIM, you're missing opportunities left and right.. seize the day, baby!
Is it maybe because you're hoping it'll be a nudge in the "right" direction, the "relationship" direction? That he'll not want to lose you and he'll "fight" for you, or at least tell you he doesn't want you to go? What are you hoping for when you TELL him you're leaving? Cuz TELLING him turns it into an ultimatum, you know. Not good -- you won't get the reaction you want.
It'll turn a nice, strong, full of self-esteem action like walking away from something that feels bad to you, that hurts you.. into a low-esteem, ultimatum, needy, please talk me into staying cuz I'm not strong enough to do what's best for myself (even if I FEEL like a piece of ass cuz you're TREATING me like a piece of ass!) kind of statement. And that's bad. That's the OPPOSITE of the message you want to send.
IF you walk away, IF you decide that this doesn't feel good to you and you're worth more.. do it right. Head high, and not a PEEP from you. He's a big boy, he'll figure it out, trust me. And there's like 3.5 BILLION guys in the world.. why get hung up on ONE that can't/won't give you what you want/need? The longer you stay with a someone who isn't giving you a fulfilling relationship, the longer you have to wait before finding the one who WILL give you that. While you're tied up with HIM, you're missing opportunities left and right.. seize the day, baby!
Or, as my BFF of almost 25 years (a crazy Saggie!) would say.. "Carpe the fugg outta the diem, baby!"
Nefer...
that's so helpful.
I tried walking away and send him a message to say I don't want this relationship anymore and we ended up talking again and he was putting in a bit more effort than before. This happened twice over the 4 months and here I am still. It's time to move on.
I just got super soft hearted when he messages me.
I'm glad I get to hear your view on this, Nefer. Thank you so much.
To fill in the missing puzzle, this is my chart.
Sun Pisces 0.5
Moon Libra 16.55
Mercury Aquarius 17.23
Venus Aquarius 1.21
Mars Scorpio 18.25
Jupiter Capricorn 6.14
Saturn Scorpio 16.22
Uranus Sagittarius 13.15
Neptune Capricorn 0.57
Pluto Scorpio 2.03 R
Lilith Pisces 7.51
Asc node Gemini 12.3
and I don't know what they mean...
but I don't think that horse is right for me.
that's so helpful.
I tried walking away and send him a message to say I don't want this relationship anymore and we ended up talking again and he was putting in a bit more effort than before. This happened twice over the 4 months and here I am still. It's time to move on.
I just got super soft hearted when he messages me.
I'm glad I get to hear your view on this, Nefer. Thank you so much.
To fill in the missing puzzle, this is my chart.
Sun Pisces 0.5
Moon Libra 16.55
Mercury Aquarius 17.23
Venus Aquarius 1.21
Mars Scorpio 18.25
Jupiter Capricorn 6.14
Saturn Scorpio 16.22
Uranus Sagittarius 13.15
Neptune Capricorn 0.57
Pluto Scorpio 2.03 R
Lilith Pisces 7.51
Asc node Gemini 12.3
and I don't know what they mean...
but I don't think that horse is right for me.
just from what you the chart reads (after reading your interpretation), I am more convinced now he's not right for me.
I want something more stable to love and care for.
ai...
my heart's aching just thinking about him.
it's too bad.
I want something more stable to love and care for.
ai...
my heart's aching just thinking about him.
it's too bad.
Your charts match up great, actually...too great....which is why there is something missing.
Posted by brianafay
Your charts match up great, actually...too great....which is why there is something missing.
:/ how so?
It should be great that we match up great.
but why is there something missing? ...or just he's missing something, perhaps?
Posted by LittlePiscesPosted by brianafay
Your charts match up great, actually...too great....which is why there is something missing.
:/ how so?
It should be great that we match up great.
but why is there something missing? ...or just he's missing something, perhaps?click to expand
Idk why actually...but in my experience if there aren't a couple hard aspects the romantic chemistry just isn't there. It stays mostly in the friend zone. Even if there is a sexual attraction. It just never progresses into anything lasting.
I don't want to be a negative nellie, either, as Nef said...haha...but I'm speaking from experience here.
You need a good square or opposition in there, imo. If it's too harmonious it's "too easy" and easily taken for granted.
Posted by brianafayPosted by LittlePiscesPosted by brianafay
Your charts match up great, actually...too great....which is why there is something missing.
:/ how so?
It should be great that we match up great.
but why is there something missing? ...or just he's missing something, perhaps?
Idk why actually...but in my experience if there aren't a couple hard aspects the romantic chemistry just isn't there. It stays mostly in the friend zone. Even if there is a sexual attraction. It just never progresses into anything lasting.
I don't want to be a negative nellie, either, as Nef said...haha...but I'm speaking from experience here.
You need a good square or opposition in there, imo. If it's too harmonious it's "too easy" and easily taken for granted.
click to expand
I agree with you.
Friction is needed for sparks.
OMG look at all the AIR in this Sag-Pisces duo! Holy moly!
You guys would (and probably DO!) make best best BEST friends! But Bri's right.. probably too harmonious, with no friction to stir the emotions enough to connect beyond really, really REALLY great friendship. But for Airs (and Airy types.. friends first make the BEST relationships!) Sooooo...
On the other hand.. I wonder if you've ever even TOLD him you want more than friendship? (dare I say.. more than this FWB? I don't mean to tarnish it or make it tawdry.. FWB is great - when both people are on the same page.. like you probably were at first, while both you Airy folks were just enjoying each other and not thinking about the future. But once one catches feelings and is no longer in the same chapter.. turns a good thing into a hurtful thing.)
I mean, how's he supposed to give you what you want, or even KNOW what you want, if you never made it clear to him, and are unapologetic about wanting the "title"..?? Guys like to tease us about this.. poke at it and go, "Why is it so important to you, and isn't what we have special enough? Why you gotta have a label? Labels are stupid!".. But I think they're REALLY just testing our resolve on the issue.. how strong is this boundary, they think. Can I get away with keeping things the same a little longer?.... just tip your chin higher and say, "I really love the time we spend together, and I'd really like to keep seeing you. But stupid or not, I don't want to continue things this way. And I don't want FWB. I've come to realize I'm the kind of girl that eventually wants the title, and it's starting to feel hurtful and yucky to me. What do you think?"
I mean, who knows.. maybe he thinks you're friggin' perfect, but doesn't want to push YOU too far and mess things up? Only way to find out is.. well, to find out.
You guys would (and probably DO!) make best best BEST friends! But Bri's right.. probably too harmonious, with no friction to stir the emotions enough to connect beyond really, really REALLY great friendship. But for Airs (and Airy types.. friends first make the BEST relationships!) Sooooo...
On the other hand.. I wonder if you've ever even TOLD him you want more than friendship? (dare I say.. more than this FWB? I don't mean to tarnish it or make it tawdry.. FWB is great - when both people are on the same page.. like you probably were at first, while both you Airy folks were just enjoying each other and not thinking about the future. But once one catches feelings and is no longer in the same chapter.. turns a good thing into a hurtful thing.)
I mean, how's he supposed to give you what you want, or even KNOW what you want, if you never made it clear to him, and are unapologetic about wanting the "title"..?? Guys like to tease us about this.. poke at it and go, "Why is it so important to you, and isn't what we have special enough? Why you gotta have a label? Labels are stupid!".. But I think they're REALLY just testing our resolve on the issue.. how strong is this boundary, they think. Can I get away with keeping things the same a little longer?.... just tip your chin higher and say, "I really love the time we spend together, and I'd really like to keep seeing you. But stupid or not, I don't want to continue things this way. And I don't want FWB. I've come to realize I'm the kind of girl that eventually wants the title, and it's starting to feel hurtful and yucky to me. What do you think?"
I mean, who knows.. maybe he thinks you're friggin' perfect, but doesn't want to push YOU too far and mess things up? Only way to find out is.. well, to find out.
Thank you for your reply.
I'm so addicted to your replies now 🙂 it's so meaningful~ AND it's amazing how accurate you are with the guy behaviour. LOL it's exactly what happened!
Here's the story:
Our chemistry is crazy high. We're both very attracted to each other and our heart melts a thousand times while we're together or not.
I asked him about "title" when we first started dating and he did pull that trick on me. He said he's not into the "title" thing and it's great the way we are and why change it.
Then I got tired of it and told him I wasn't happy with his "lack of effort" behaviour.
He explained that he was busy and he was sorry.
I went back.
Then he disappeared from time to time
Eventually I stopped bugging him. He messaged back trying to get my attention again and I came clean with him.
I told him over text that I didn't want to keep going with it. He was disappearing way too many times and I was really disappointed because I was serious about him and he wasn't. I was really emotional at the time and he comforted me and said "honey, don't cry". I seriously don't know what that meant....
Later on he said I was his woman and I should be there with him (he rarely came to me. He just asked me to come to him instead) but I didn't fall into the booty call trap again~
At this point, would it be redundant to ask him about "title" again...
I think I may be too sensitive and skeptical~ but my logic tells me I should be.
My heart is saying just be his already!!
I'm so addicted to your replies now 🙂 it's so meaningful~ AND it's amazing how accurate you are with the guy behaviour. LOL it's exactly what happened!
Here's the story:
Our chemistry is crazy high. We're both very attracted to each other and our heart melts a thousand times while we're together or not.
I asked him about "title" when we first started dating and he did pull that trick on me. He said he's not into the "title" thing and it's great the way we are and why change it.
Then I got tired of it and told him I wasn't happy with his "lack of effort" behaviour.
He explained that he was busy and he was sorry.
I went back.
Then he disappeared from time to time
Eventually I stopped bugging him. He messaged back trying to get my attention again and I came clean with him.
I told him over text that I didn't want to keep going with it. He was disappearing way too many times and I was really disappointed because I was serious about him and he wasn't. I was really emotional at the time and he comforted me and said "honey, don't cry". I seriously don't know what that meant....
Later on he said I was his woman and I should be there with him (he rarely came to me. He just asked me to come to him instead) but I didn't fall into the booty call trap again~
At this point, would it be redundant to ask him about "title" again...
I think I may be too sensitive and skeptical~ but my logic tells me I should be.
My heart is saying just be his already!!
quit it with the title talk. seriously. that is the quickest way to get a sag man to go running for the hills. if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, its a duck.
instead of using words like commitment, relationship, try using phrases like "your the only one for me." make him feel special and unique and hopefully he will return the favor.
the trick with sag men is, you have to set firm boundaries in the beginning or they will walk all over you. you tell them that you want commitment and to them its like your asking for a leg to be severed. you could be in a firm stance of wanting a relationship and even feeling like you are in one, but he may not be there just yet.
that mars in scorpio of yours wants to possess asap. your venus wants something totally different. you have quite a few contradictions in your own chart. ive seen that combo with a cap guy and he didnt know which way he was going.
even though his moon sign is inaccurate, id suggest doing some more field study on this horse. doesnt come off as a one-woman man.
instead of using words like commitment, relationship, try using phrases like "your the only one for me." make him feel special and unique and hopefully he will return the favor.
the trick with sag men is, you have to set firm boundaries in the beginning or they will walk all over you. you tell them that you want commitment and to them its like your asking for a leg to be severed. you could be in a firm stance of wanting a relationship and even feeling like you are in one, but he may not be there just yet.
that mars in scorpio of yours wants to possess asap. your venus wants something totally different. you have quite a few contradictions in your own chart. ive seen that combo with a cap guy and he didnt know which way he was going.
even though his moon sign is inaccurate, id suggest doing some more field study on this horse. doesnt come off as a one-woman man.
We would see each other, cuddle~ totally into each other. Then he would not call for days and weeks, even a month.
He always seem to come back with a text (not even a call) and give a reason why he hasn't been calling and I accept it again and again.
he has put you into rotation, which is not the place u want to be if you want a relationship. a month? seriously??
He always seem to come back with a text (not even a call) and give a reason why he hasn't been calling and I accept it again and again.
he has put you into rotation, which is not the place u want to be if you want a relationship. a month? seriously??
He said he was really stressed and didn't have his stuff together. For that whole.month he didn't see me we kept in touch over text but nothing too deep.
I remember you said saggis are honest and they are direct. That helped me cope with things. I understand he needed his space so I didn't neg him and gave him all the space he needed.
I have went over and see him but afterwards he wouldn't call for days.
No idea how I could tolerate that till today.
Maybe there's a part of me that trusts him. Maybe he is going through some stressful time and it wouldn't be right to hold that against him.
I am now a bit skeptical though.
Blind as a bat
I remember you said saggis are honest and they are direct. That helped me cope with things. I understand he needed his space so I didn't neg him and gave him all the space he needed.
I have went over and see him but afterwards he wouldn't call for days.
No idea how I could tolerate that till today.
Maybe there's a part of me that trusts him. Maybe he is going through some stressful time and it wouldn't be right to hold that against him.
I am now a bit skeptical though.
Blind as a bat
I have a question about 'venus'
What does it entail when both of us have aquarius in venus?
and.. what does the number next to it means?
thank you, everyone.
What does it entail when both of us have aquarius in venus?
and.. what does the number next to it means?
thank you, everyone.
yeeeupp....
I am losing interest.
I guess that's it for us
I am losing interest.
I guess that's it for us
Is it astrological related how the feelings just.... Faded?
Will it come back?
I'm surprised feelings so strong can fade so easily.
..not...sure if ....I should stick around.... What if I end up a piece of ass for him after all.
I'm just so skeptical about this pair but I don't know if I m just being.paranoid.
Some insights please? Please.....
Will it come back?
I'm surprised feelings so strong can fade so easily.
..not...sure if ....I should stick around.... What if I end up a piece of ass for him after all.
I'm just so skeptical about this pair but I don't know if I m just being.paranoid.
Some insights please? Please.....
saggis lose interest quickly. maybe he will be back, maybe he wont. but dont sit around by the phone.
Thanks, DMV.
Turns out, my feelings fade easily despite how strong it started.
Turns out, my feelings fade easily despite how strong it started.
yea aqua venus can be tricky
Posted by Sag89
yea aqua venus can be tricky
that explains why we're both flaky.
but I also wanted him and only him~ but I don't know about him...
I guess we ended it vaguely.
Maybe it was ESP or something, I felt the chemistry changed a bit.
I still saw good in him and I had a deeper emotion attachment with him. For some reason he didn't reciprocate.
I treated him the same but I had almost little response from him.
After 5 months of patience, I'm finally disappointed enough to walk away. There was hardly a "relationship" and it was going no where. While we were together last time, his phone was buzzing off the hook. I saw when he was replying.... they were from ladies from the singles dating site.
I wasn't angry or jealous but I was quite disappointed to see it come down to this. I didn't know when he wanted something different or when our feelings started to side track. When it's dying, it's dying. There's no lie about that. Like I read from here "if it looks like duck, quacks like a duck, it is a duck."
Sagg wants freedom and there's no place for a relationship if one constantly wants out and find something new. Though I still have feelings for him, it's best I walk away now and start off the new year with a healed heart than a broken one. It hurts to walk away.
In retrospect, I gave it go and the connection was there but I'm way too broken hearted now to carry on with this style of "relationship".
It was not communicated clearly in the end but I got the point. Sometimes somethings are easily understood~ If I couldn't see it then, I can feel it by now. (Uh... since I'm pretty dumb and I "feel" my way most of the time)
I didn't want to feel like I abandoned him. Absolutely not.
I left it up to his hand. If he turns around, I would be running back! I'm a sucker!!!
The last time I messaged him I asked if I'm the one he wants and I heard nothing back since.
That...... was my answer.
I asked myself do I regret loving him?
No, I guess not.
I would still love him, cherish him, cheer him up when he needs it, give him space when he needs it, keep him warm and be his supporter in so many ways.
If it's not something he's looking for, then all of the above don't matter. I didn't lose anything. I gained my freedom back and my shattered heart which I can still repair with time.
It was my first time with a sagg...
beautiful guy but it's a pair that'll never work out.
I'll try to avoid Saggs in the future. I'm too fragile for an archer.
Felt like I got sucker punched numerous times for going back with him... but oh well
it was great while it lasted.
I will miss him
*sa
Maybe it was ESP or something, I felt the chemistry changed a bit.
I still saw good in him and I had a deeper emotion attachment with him. For some reason he didn't reciprocate.
I treated him the same but I had almost little response from him.
After 5 months of patience, I'm finally disappointed enough to walk away. There was hardly a "relationship" and it was going no where. While we were together last time, his phone was buzzing off the hook. I saw when he was replying.... they were from ladies from the singles dating site.
I wasn't angry or jealous but I was quite disappointed to see it come down to this. I didn't know when he wanted something different or when our feelings started to side track. When it's dying, it's dying. There's no lie about that. Like I read from here "if it looks like duck, quacks like a duck, it is a duck."
Sagg wants freedom and there's no place for a relationship if one constantly wants out and find something new. Though I still have feelings for him, it's best I walk away now and start off the new year with a healed heart than a broken one. It hurts to walk away.
In retrospect, I gave it go and the connection was there but I'm way too broken hearted now to carry on with this style of "relationship".
It was not communicated clearly in the end but I got the point. Sometimes somethings are easily understood~ If I couldn't see it then, I can feel it by now. (Uh... since I'm pretty dumb and I "feel" my way most of the time)
I didn't want to feel like I abandoned him. Absolutely not.
I left it up to his hand. If he turns around, I would be running back! I'm a sucker!!!
The last time I messaged him I asked if I'm the one he wants and I heard nothing back since.
That...... was my answer.
I asked myself do I regret loving him?
No, I guess not.
I would still love him, cherish him, cheer him up when he needs it, give him space when he needs it, keep him warm and be his supporter in so many ways.
If it's not something he's looking for, then all of the above don't matter. I didn't lose anything. I gained my freedom back and my shattered heart which I can still repair with time.
It was my first time with a sagg...
beautiful guy but it's a pair that'll never work out.
I'll try to avoid Saggs in the future. I'm too fragile for an archer.
Felt like I got sucker punched numerous times for going back with him... but oh well
it was great while it lasted.
I will miss him
*sa
what has happened little pisces?
Ive just started dating a sag....maybe I can help?
Ive just started dating a sag....maybe I can help?
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