I want my Cake and Eat it 2 (Page 2)

Posted by tiziani
I don't even know what that means Sagi. I am just saying I don't understand CO as a place if you seriously cannot meet a guy (or girl) who would have dinner, fun times and nirvana.

It just doesn't add up what you tell me about CO 😛 Either I am missing something and you are pure evil or all the people in CO are all asses.

It's cool if you're pure evil, so am I.

I agree with Frostbite - people are screwing themselves by labelling "commitment". Sex is a commitment, dates are a commitment.

Freedom IS a commitment - it comes with its own responsibility - I had to be in a long term relationship where we hit swingers clubs to really grasp that much.

I've met open minded people who live monogamously and I've met close minded people who insist on sleeping around, and vice versa. I've met all types. Because of that, to me there is no wanting "more" or "less".

There's just what I want and need, and the people who can give that to me. I was mocked, ridiculed and abused for what I wanted when I was younger but I stuck with it and that whole process taught me to be accountable to the people who really do care for me and give me what I want, so they never have to feel bad or disappointed about giving me even more 😛

Once the accountability part sets in, there are no needles in haystacks for me, at least not here. It's more like your options upon up completely, and people are on your side in ways you never even really knew before.

And no Sag I'm not accepting shit. Marry me.

—? I don't get what your saying and you don't get me

Posted by tiziani
Fair play.

I know I go off on rants.

All I'm saying is people want to be loved and there is always a consequence to sex.

there is always a consequence to sex

slowly learning that saggis

Because most Sags can't control themselves.

Posted by tiziani
So then I don't get it, why not just go out with someone and not have sex with them? Leave sex out of it and just enjoy the romance. At least then it won't cloud judgement. I mean of course sex changes everything, it literally transforms your brain right after the act. It's impossible for anyone to act the same way before and after the first time.

because sex feels good. its the rest of the world that turns into something different, imo

All I'm saying is people want to be loved and there is always a consequence to sex.

...and there it is...the issue at its core. Its why you can't have your cake and eat it too. Each human being has a longing to bond. Love and sex are not mutually exclusive because sex is bonding. Its obvious really. Atoms come together to create etc etc. So we shouldn't think that were exempt from that fundamental law.

With that being said, you will always have an issue because of competing interests, values, and philosophies. For us(Sag) it simply comes down to a choice of freedom or commitment. Honestly, we try to have both. That ole mutability. Wanting someone to be committed to us but expecting them to be independent. If the premise is that by bonding, sex or otherwise, you become one and you ironically are committed.

If we(Sagittarius), are truthful with ourselves, it really boils down to a fear of fate and everything that comes with it. Actually being responsible in our actions in relating to others, not coming and going as we please, and being accountable, and not coming up with well sounding philosophy that that disguises the above actions.

So, you can't have both. Something always has to give. Learn the difference between someone valuing the experience of being with you and valuing YOU. Hence labels. Having one implies that a certain level of respect and treatment follows. Fwb or anything thats similar is not going to get the same level of respect or honor as a full commitment, marriage or otherwise, would get. Nor should it. It sounds harsh, but thats reality. We put in hard work to get to that point. You cant expect the respect of husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, when your not even pursuing that point. Its getting more for less. While each of us should be respected and extended consideration regardless, if you want to try to have it both ways, don't expect to be taken seriously when trying to enforce relationship rules in non committal situations.

Posted by beautifulsoul74
Learn the difference between someone valuing the experience of being with you and valuing YOU.

I liked everything you wrote, but I really like this.

Posted by beautifulsoul74
All I'm saying is people want to be loved and there is always a consequence to sex.

...and there it is...the issue at its core. Its why you can't have your cake and eat it too. Each human being has a longing to bond. Love and sex are not mutually exclusive because sex is bonding. Its obvious really. Atoms come together to create etc etc. So we shouldn't think that were exempt from that fundamental law.

With that being said, you will always have an issue because of competing interests, values, and philosophies. For us(Sag) it simply comes down to a choice of freedom or commitment. Honestly, we try to have both. That ole mutability. Wanting someone to be committed to us but expecting them to be independent. If the premise is that by bonding, sex or otherwise, you become one and you ironically are committed.

If we(Sagittarius), are truthful with ourselves, it really boils down to a fear of fate and everything that comes with it. Actually being responsible in our actions in relating to others, not coming and going as we please, and being accountable, and not coming up with well sounding philosophy that that disguises the above actions.

So, you can't have both. Something always has to give. Learn the difference between someone valuing the experience of being with you and valuing YOU. Hence labels. Having one implies that a certain level of respect and treatment follows. Fwb or anything thats similar is not going to get the same level of respect or honor as a full commitment, marriage or otherwise, would get. Nor should it. It sounds harsh, but thats reality. We put in hard work to get to that point. You cant expect the respect of husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, when your not even pursuing that point. Its getting more for less. While each of us should be respected and extended consideration regardless, if you want to try to have it both ways, don't expect to be taken seriously when trying to enforce relationship rules in non committal situations.

you got some cliff notes for all this? i have a short attention span

^^^lol nope

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by beautifulsoul74
Learn the difference between someone valuing the experience of being with you and valuing YOU.

I liked everything you wrote, but I really like this.

click to expand

Thank you PR🙂Usually that's what it boils down to.

@xy:

I understand where you're coming from. Yes labels have its disadvantages as well. As for fwb and society's standards, what you described is the ideal, but realistically, in most cases fwb is preferred because one does not know what they want. Trying to find a balance between freedom...and purpose/fulfillment. Bridging the gap between unconditional love and the actual act of loving.

Look at it this way. Love is like water in a river. Notice that a river is bound on both sides. If it overflows, it creates chaos and destruction because like love, its powerful. So therefore, it is bound not to imprison it, but that it flows smoothly to serve the surrounding environment. The plants, trees, etc exist, but not without water flow.

Apply that to love and relationships. With freedom comes the simple reality of responsibility...it cannot be avoided. While you're free to love, your love must serve a purpose in order that the surrounding environment is protected and nurtured. Going back to the river analogy, notice it flows then gets bigger and serves a larger cause and eventually leads to an ocean which serves us all. But even an ocean is also contained. Thus, as your understanding of love grows, your purpose and responsibility grows along with it until it reaches a pool. Labels in someways are just that but mostly they give definition and with definition comes purpose. Whether it is fwb or a "normal" relationship, responsibility cannot be avoided. In fact, in a normal relationship one actually enjoys freedom as well. You are able to expand yourself through the love you give in that relationship. I agree, there is no one true path. What must be understood is that you're still responsible in one way or another....to yourself and others.