Sagittarian Insecurity (Page 2)

Posted by Cajunspirit
I am a fool to have put my faith and trust in someone, who has deceived me over and over again. This is what love makes you do.

Yes you are and maybe this realisation will stop you from further delusion. There was no love on your part because you fell for someone you wanted her to be, and now who she was.

In conclusion, it's clear you're dating to find someone you'll marry. You need to state this upfront with your partners, and the moment they act out of line, you need to walk away. If you stay, you have no place to bitch and moan about your partner taking you for a ride.

My dad went through this for 15 years with my mom, a Leo. She cheated constantly, he always tried to reform her, mold her, force her to see what she's doing wrong. In her mind she was being herself, and never did anything wrong.

Can you guess how bitter he is now? And all because it still doesn't dawn on him HIS SELF UNDOING WAS MADE BY HIM, AND NOT TO HIM.

One of my exes I was engaged with cheated on me? Did that reality made me bitter? No, it brought clarity. And clarity is a wonderful thing.

When people show you their colors, believe them. Don't build fantasies about their behavior and how you can help and correct them. It comes across as demeaning and judgemental. Let them be who they are and walk away.

There's a Romanian author who wrote a book about cheating. There's a quote I like tremendously:

"You spend your life looking at a beautiful painting, thinking it's an original. And one day that vision morphs and you are left looking at a horrible kitsch".

Moments like this empower us in a long term scenario. Learn from it and let it all fade away. Each experience gets us closer to where we'll belong in the end, wherever that will be.

The only way they'll bind to you is through common experiences, nice moments. Give them a long rope and see what they do with it. I can bet my money they won't opt out of a relationship if you grant them this. Obviously I am not talking about cheating here.

This set of rules Earth signs think people follow blindlessly are void to a Fire Sign. They live to experiment, not to follow society's scripts.

She made the rules, I agreed, she broke the rules and I followed them.
I let her do what she wanted to do, gave her all the rope. I wanted to believe her words were true, that she really loved me.

Posted by Damnata
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4) They understand everything in life is liable to change and if it's meant to be, you will spend your lives on this awesome path of growth..the fairytale dream is strongly embedded into their nature. If it's not meant to be, they will extricate themselves from the situation using whatever means they'll have.

If you chose to stay, you can't hold them responsible over your actions and thoughts.

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My mind is pretty consistent. Once I say I love you, there is no going back. I may lose motivation, I may occasionally become flustered, but my feelings don't change.

I believe she just has this general idea of how men are and kept applying it to me, which is totally unfair.

Posted by virgoking
Caj you still on this girl I told you years ago sag women under 30 are only good for FWB AND that's it straight side peace real talk. Plus she disrespected you once you let that slide any women won't have respect for you. You should have drop her the first time she did that bs and cus her the fuck out.

lol
When you are drunk on attraction and have deep feelings, you do things you normally would not.

Maybe she truly believed things might work out for you two as a casual relationship but I'm sure she caught on early on that you were writing scripts for her life and bolted.

Words are meaningless. I can tell you I love you all day long, does this make it true?

The only script I implied was that she should learn to cook. But the more I piece together things in my mind, I think her Taurus moon and upbringing, made her extremely lazy and incompetent. She wants a man who will take care of her and all she has to do is look pretty and provide her snatch.

A modern woman.

She started to say that after she was convinced to leave me by the Libra. That these were just words to her. But to me, I take people's words very seriously, like I take my view on life. But again I am reminded you can't take anything a Sagi says seriously.

Posted by Damnata

Yes you are and maybe this realisation will stop you from further delusion. There was no love on your part because you fell for someone you wanted her to be, and now who she was.

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I think I fell in love with someone she pretended to be, there is a distinct difference.

All of this is mightily depressing.

Posted by DMV


i dont think this is sag behavior. as a scorp moon, i dont do much talking. i EXPECT others to feel whats going on. if you ask me "whats wrong?" its the end for you and it marks the end of us.

Could you kindly humor me then?

You spoke of Cancer moons and the expectations for others to feel whats going on.

I would like to learn how problems are resolved between the two of you.

Because as far as I am concerned, this ex of mine had 0 problem solving skills.

Posted by PotHeadVirgo24
So you fire sign women don't tend to communicate your feelings— I figured being a fire sign that yall would have some courage to do so.
*Shruggs*
Guess I was wrong, lol.

It seems like it is an extreme of general woman tendency to try and read people's emotions through their body language.

Problem is, I don't have much body language. I say what I feel, state what I mean and mean what I state.
Poker face through and through, it's not a game it's just how I am.

sorry i missed this one 🙂

well we had one argument in 4 years. it was over money and i thought he was taking advantage of my kindness.instead of just speaking to him about it, because i had plenty of opportunity. My mind created the worst. i started to hate and resent him and cursed him out, told him to get the fuck out my face, yadda yadda yadda. we end up not talking for a few weeks. i assumed the worst and acted accordingly. no input from him.

then i called him and apologized for the blowup and we never really really talked about it. he knew what the issue was and how it bothered me.

with a libra moon, my blow ups were like the ones your dag girl is on. imma tell you, i dont blow up for anyone i dont give 2 shits about. i simmer and simmer and simmer and then i let em have it at the most ridiculous time. i used to be so apprehensive to talk to him because for some reason i didnt want to rock the boat or piss him off. i wanted things to get better by themselves. i wanted him to know what he was doing wrong instead of me having to bring it up. i thought he would look at me like a crazy person when in my mind, he was the one driving me up the wall. A perceived hurt is all a scorp moon needs to go batshit into disrespecting someone with no care in the world.

it wasnt until my bday last year when he showed up to my house that i got the guts to tell him exactly how i felt. i got to a point where i emotionally removed myself from the situation and was able to be logical. in removing myself emotionally, i lost the interest that i had in him because from my POV he was only around me to hurt me. hurt does not equal love to me.

i expressed my concerns and it was the first grown up conversation we had in a year. i just didnt care about disappointing him or coming off like a lunatic. i figured that since he went out of his comfort zone to show up at my house knowing he could get rejected, i was going to let be brave and express myself. he is also perceptive like you and brought up alot of what u said. i would shut down on him because id be so hurt inside that he wasnt doing what i fantasized him to do. which was my way. if you love me, youll do this....

Not hidden from me.

Maybe it's your Virgoness who can't see the obvious .... because insecurities are so fucking bold, they practically blare your face off.

Why do you come here, saying it's hidden?

Maybe you should check yourself.

sometimes my feelings, in my mind, are so huge and incomprehensible that i am reluctant to share them. shit, half the time i dont know what to say.

if i feel you are a safe person i will share my mind.

Posted by P-Angel

Not hidden from me.

Maybe it's your Virgoness who can't see the obvious .... because insecurities are so fucking bold, they practically blare your face off.

Why do you come here, saying it's hidden?

Maybe you should check yourself.

I told her off the bat, I'm emotionally retarded.
I get possessiveness, but I don't get jealousy or insecurity.

Body language is uncharted territory and I don't like that fact it isn't a definite thing that you can pin point as universal, since everyone will see everything differently.

I say it's hidden because Sagittarius pretends things are okay when it really isn't. They brush off your questions even when you point out a change in tone, behaviour or facial expressions.

I don't have the gift of empathy some do, all I can ever do is speak and listen.

http://sasstrology.com/2014/01/dealing-with-the-emotional-and-sexual-demands-of-a-scorpionic-person.html<BR>
the moon in scorp section, the part about the moods is dead on

Posted by Cajunspirit

Because as far as I am concerned, this ex of mine had 0 problem solving skills.

I don't think it was because she had no problem solving skills. You probably have missed her attempts. Being a Sag sun, Taurus moon, scorpio asc&venus, I know where she may be coming from. People like me look to find a stable, secure relationship, but because I'm a sag, we have commitment issues. Everyone knows Sag are infamous for being commitment phobes in all of the zodiac signs. Because of that, it's hard for us to trust people sometimes, whether they're the "one" or not, but when you can get us committed, that's already saying a lot. BUT. You would need to keep the fire going or else she'll lose interest. It was probably because she lost interest that she left to go with a libra man. Sags like to keep their options and they love socializing and having fun, so it's natural for them to meet other guys and take it lightly. We're very flirtatious. But because of the scorpio in my chart, I tend to be more of a listener, not a talker. My taurus moon makes me possessive, and the scorpio makes it even more possessive and jealous. I know it's not fair, but sags know we're trustworthy already, so we tend to not try to prove it, because we expect others to already know it. But we constantly need other people to prove themselves to us.

We're constantly looking for reassurance of ourselves to make us feel better, because we need to see proof that you love us through actions, not simply words. -- that's why she would demand such things from you, because she wants to keep the relationship interesting and wants to know your feelings in the open. The more she feels that you love her, the more she will love you.

I think she cared for you, but when she started losing interest, she didn't really want to break it to you. it's hard for us to get out of a relationship once we're in, and she probably didn't want to hurt you so. But if she tried breaking up with you about every month, that's a HUGE sign that she doesn't want you and you should have let her go. Since you clung on, she probably tried to hint you instead, since you wouldn't let her go... so that is your fault. It's also very hard for us to confront people about our feelings, because that's something hard to talk about. It's not because she sucked at communicating. You might just not have listened to her and she probabl

** (oops, continued)

You might just not have listened to her and she probably had a different way of trying to tell you. We tend to keep things inside... It's also so much easier for us to voice our opinions and emotions via IM, text, letters. It's not that she didn't want to talk it out with you face-to-face, but she couldn't, because it's hard to. It's just something hard to do, because it involves so much emotion and we're afraid of it, because it's so intense.

@damnata, I totally agree about the part where fire signs usually can tell earlier on in the relationship whether a person is the right partner or not for them.

so when they try to drop hints, you better take them.

Posted by xAdoree

I don't think it was because she had no problem solving skills. You probably have missed her attempts. Being a Sag sun, Taurus moon, scorpio asc&venus, I know where she may be coming from.

It seems to me, Saggies don't talk out problems. They pretend everything is fine and look to you for positivity and reassurance, then let it go themselves. I was always trying to talk about problems and she was always dodging.

I know it's not fair, but sags know we're trustworthy already, so we tend to not try to prove it, because we expect others to already know it. But we constantly need other people to prove themselves to us.

Compounding my points.

We're constantly looking for reassurance of ourselves to make us feel better, because we need to see proof that you love us through actions, not simply words.

You all give off an air of confidence, a do it yourself attitude and pretend things are not bothering you, often time giving no reassurance yourself or so little it is not noticable. Yet, you expect to get 10 times what you give. That's how it always felt for me, that I was giving 100 and she was giving 5.

but when she started losing interest, she didn't really want to break it to you. it's hard for us to get out of a relationship once we're in, and she probably didn't want to hurt you so.

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Because pretending everything is fine, telling me you miss me and love me only for you to break up with me over something trivial and go to the beach with the man I had suspected you of falling for, for a whole month is waaaay less painful than just coming out and telling me you have problem x and don't want to try and fix it.

Posted by xAdoree

You might just not have listened to her and she probably had a different way of trying to tell you. We tend to keep things inside... It's also so much easier for us to voice our opinions and emotions via IM, text, letters. It's not that she didn't want to talk it out with you face-to-face, but she couldn't, because it's hard to. It's just something hard to do, because it involves so much emotion and we're afraid of it, because it's so intense. .

I wish it was a case of me not listening.

But it became evident early on, she kept putting up mental blocks against me for whatever reason and hindered herself... then naturally put all the blame on me for frustrating her!

Hahahaha, you Saggies are whack in the head.

Posted by Cajunspirit
It seems to me, Saggies don't talk out problems. They pretend everything is fine and look to you for positivity and reassurance, then let it go themselves. I was always trying to talk about problems and she was always dodging.

That's not necessarily true, but I agree with you that sometimes we don't talk out problems. It kind of depends on the person sometimes... for me, When something is bugging me, I will try to confront it -- but it's harder to do that by face-to-face means. We have this sort of "uncaring" feeling and we'd like to avoid problems, because we're all about having fun and we don't want stress and all that frustation. The Sagittarius sign is all about FUN, and problems are like a nono, because it's something that makes us down. We pretend things are fine (well, who doesn't do that?), because sometimes it really is fine, because we're able to not think about something and be okay (usually). It's like we don't want to bother with it, haha.

Posted by Cajunspirit
You all give off an air of confidence, a do it yourself attitude and pretend things are not bothering you, often time giving no reassurance yourself or so little it is not noticable. Yet, you expect to get 10 times what you give. That's how it always felt for me, that I was giving 100 and she was giving 5.

click to expand

True, we are independent people. We don't like talking about emotions and feelings typically, because that's something that we don't understand sometimes and it makes us vulnerable and seem weak. We don't like being weak. Fire signs have an ego and they tend to be independent and strong. But that's just how we are. It seems like you're really unsatisfied with this whole relationship and if you don't like having these issues and don't like how we are, I don't think you should get involved.. I mean, I'm not saying that you should never date a Sag or anything, but if it bothers you that much and she obviously is not going to change or anything, then it's time to let her go :o

Posted by Cajunspirit
Because pretending everything is fine, telling me you miss me and love me only for you to break up with me over something trivial and go to the beach with the man I had suspected you of falling for, for a whole month is waaaay less painful than just coming out and telling me you have problem x and don't want to try and fix it.

I guess she didn't know what to do or she's just not the one for you
I know where you're coming from, because I've often predicted my own downfalls of breakups, but I think it's time that you just try to accept it. Yeah, it sucks that it has to be like that, but it really sounds like she's obviously not what you're looking for. You can't totally put the blame on her, because every break up reasons result from both parties. Not solely one person is to blame.

I always take the honest approach. When I first meet someone, I always know the question of relationships will come up. That train is never late lol. I tell them that I am looking for a commitment and with the right person. Also marriage with children. The reason why I do this is so I don't waste my time or theirs. But I always take a relaxed approach. Platonic friends etc. it may sound crazy or traditional but it has a proven track record.

Now where I am insecure at times is my career. I pretty much know what my purpose is, but at times I'm not sure about which path to take to fulfill that purpose. But I font take that as a negative because its natural to be unsure sometimes. Shouldn't be looked at as a bad thing.