Ugh need some HELP

Last night,

I was at a party with some friends including a scorpio and aries that i am familiar with. Last night has happened before with this scorpio who i havent had sex with in over a year and who i distance my self from for months has made attempts to get in between of even harmless flirting between me and the aries.

In the past few months, the scorpio has been really brazen and rude. Ive made it perfectly clear to him that i dont like him and would rather we just kept our separate ways. he begs to differ. he will ridicule me infront of the aries. disrespect me. just whatever to take my attention off any guy who i choose to entertain. he has me blocked on FB but taunts me whenever he feels like it. all of which the aries has seen and seems to not be swayed by that childish shit.

Just last night, the scorpio decided he was going to go out of his entire way last night to get my attention. He tried to catch my gaze all night and i was quite turned off. i really just focused on other people including the aries. its not like i fawn over the aries in front of the scorpio. thats rude and i wouldnt want it done to me. at the most we hold hands or something. he tries to confront me about things in passing, ironically, when the aries is also in passing and happens to be in ear and eye shot.

So then as the night goes on, i notice more n more of the scorpios friends have arrived and something in the pitt of my stomach was churning. i knew he was getting backup for his show he was putting on. AWKWARD MOMENT the scorpio starts yelling the aries name out during the game. trying to give him atta boys and the like. inside i am mortified that he would even go after the aries. the aries has done nothing to him. the scorp wasnt being rude, but i know when hes trying to taunt someone and make them look like the dumbass. b4 me and the ram started liking each other, the scorpio barely talked to him. now, you want to be his friend.

for a moment, i was interested to see how the aries would act. would he be baited. but he wasnt. he played along with it. he handled himself very well.

BUT my insecurities are raging on the inside AND STILL ARE. i didnt feel torn between the 2. i felt paralyzed last night because i wanted to make more memories with the aries but i didnt want no MORE drama with the scorpio. ugh. i dont want other people knowing who i sleep with or who i have drama with. i DID NOT want to be humiliated by the scorpio again. so i reluctantly stay

BUT my insecurities are raging on the inside AND STILL ARE. i didnt feel torn between the 2. i felt paralyzed last night because i wanted to make more memories with the aries but i didnt want no MORE drama with the scorpio. ugh. i dont want other people knowing who i sleep with or who i have drama with. i DID NOT want to be humiliated by the scorpio again. so i reluctantly stayed neutral. maybe its good because the aries likes his space anyway. or does he? idk. After he told my friends i made him feel trapped, im also cautious with him.

i left after the game was over because i was just done with the scorpio and the awkward and uncomfortable situation. They both know about each other but the aries may be a bit skeptical about what goes on between me and the scorp. the aries called me about an hour later after i got home but i slept through the call. i text him this morning but he hasnt responded. not surprising. he works and gets quiet with his communication. hes alot like me. BUT he is highly sensitive and his feelings get rubbed the wrong way very quickly.

im just worried im over thinking everything and missing something. did the scorpios performance sway the aries? does the aries even give a shit? am i just pussy to the aries so of course he doesnt give a shit? are the both talking about me and im the dummy? i feel like theyre both in competition for no reason. am i being naive about men? why wont the scorpio just move on? no relationship between us.

^^^^ She never learns.

LoL

i dont know who the aries is seeing besides me. I half care.

Posted by DMV
im just worried im over thinking everything and missing something. did the scorpios performance sway the aries? does the aries even give a shit? am i just pussy to the aries so of course he doesnt give a shit? are the both talking about me and im the dummy? i feel like theyre both in competition for no reason. am i being naive about men? why wont the scorpio just move on? no relationship between us.

Why didn't you neutralize this before the Scorp even opened his mouth? Meaning, be upfront about what the Scorp is about and what his angle would be and why. I'm not saying you have to go into great detail, but a simple conversation stating that things ended, he's salty about it and won't move on. Your silence gives off something you may not be intending--but keep in mind I am reading this filtered through Scorp eyes. I don't like it when someone is knowingly avoiding a conversation with me. If I have to ask, you are already put in a new category. Especially if I'm really feeling you.

Good for the Ram for not showing he was affected by the show, however that may be how he handles things overall and is not a reflection of his feelings or concerns (if any) where you and the Scorp are concerned. So that still needs to be addressed. I can't answer the above questions, but talking to him will provide you with some answers. I would address it with him, but that's me.

Posted by DMV
i dont know who the aries is seeing besides me. I half care.

Okay, ignore my previous post then. I think I'm missing some key things here.

Actually, the one thing to take away from the first post, always neutralize a Scorp before they get going. Their bullsh*t has no effect when you do that.

Posted by PhoenixRising
Actually, the one thing to take away from the first post, always neutralize a Scorp before they get going. Their bullsh*t has no effect when you do that.

sounds cliche on DXP. but gurl, i have. i have till i am blue in the face. i dont know how else to tell him thats its been over and i have no feelings for him.

i dont want to go any further than those words because he has to learn to be an adult. Why do i always have to over compensate for his lack of maturity and overall reluctantless to believe that things have ended. i told him that we didnt even have to be friends if its too hard for him. i get that.

Are these shenanigans not taking about from his own life? doesnt he have better things to do? there were plenty of good looking girls there and he focused on the one that gives a path of high resistance. i have realized that he has no control over himself and neither do it. He is going to do whatever he wants and I MUST learn to laugh it off and turn a blind eye.

Correct, maybe the ARIES needs to have a conversation with me about these things. but its too early. ive had grown up conversations with him and he reactions are.....

im pretty sure the aries has placed me in the suspense account AGAIN. He will come back around in 2 months or so and just when i started to gain ground.

although, i feel like there is a silver lining in the escapades of last night. even tho the scorp in NO WAY was out to provide me protection, his actions did create doubt in my mind about the aries. And has made me think if i really want to go down this road.

again, i feel like the man caught in a love triangle. lol im not even sexing any of these dudes up and theres drama.

With the Scorpio, i feel like i STILL have to look out for how HE feels. he never does the same for me.

i always have to do xyz, so he doesnt feel or do xyz. why do i have so much more control over him that he does.

at the end of the day, the scorpio does NOT want me. He doesnt want me as a girlfriend, wife, partner, friend, nothing. he just wants to WIN back my affections so he play with them and he feels secure at days end. in my insecurity he finds security.

stop throwing salt in my game. stop trying to turn men who like me off from me. thats so fucked up. Now i have to work overtime to correct his dumb shit. i hate bad press. hate it.

"path of high resistance"

I like this. don't you want to become a writer?

Posted by DwellingOnMove
"path of high resistance"

I like this. don't you want to become a writer?

im a pisces midheaven, lol. im sure it was a dream of mine at some point in my life.

Posted by DMV

Posted by PhoenixRising
Actually, the one thing to take away from the first post, always neutralize a Scorp before they get going. Their bullsh*t has no effect when you do that.

sounds cliche on DXP. but gurl, i have. i have till i am blue in the face. i dont know how else to tell him thats its been over and i have no feelings for him.

i dont want to go any further than those words because he has to learn to be an adult. Why do i always have to over compensate for his lack of maturity and overall reluctantless to believe that things have ended. i told him that we didnt even have to be friends if its too hard for him. i get that.

Hmm, I should have defined "neutralize". You aren't required to say anything to the Scorp to shut him down. I meant, you are two steps ahead and the Ram knows what's up before the Scorp even gets going. You've warned him of his tactics and motivation behind anything he does. When it happens, the Ram isn't affected by it in the least.

Posted by DMV

Correct, maybe the ARIES needs to have a conversation with me about these things. but its too early. ive had grown up conversations with him and he reactions are.....

im pretty sure the aries has placed me in the suspense account AGAIN. He will come back around in 2 months or so and just when i started to gain ground...

click to expand

I didn't write that and you know it 😛. In fairness to the Ram, his reaction is not necessarily being fairly judged, because he was put in a weird position and he doesn't know why. He was put in this "competition" by a man that can't let go. He just wanted to enjoy your company and the game. Not deal with a night of cock stroking. If someone is acting up and I am sensing there is a "secret" going on between my date and the other person that will make me feel uneasy and I need it settled. Period. It is not my place to settle it and I don't feel I should have to ask you what's going either. Your ex is "steppin'" to him. Your ex is making this relaxed situation uncomfortable. You need to tell him what's up.

con't

^^^
If I were in that situation, my date needs to come at me straight, if he is truly trying to establish something open and honest with me. Like I stated, if I have to ask you (and I will if I am interested), it's because I've already put you in another category at that point. Should he come to you and ask you about it? *shrug*. If he would like to keep this going, perhaps. I still feel the onus falls on you though. Not fair, but it was your past that brought this to the table.

Also, he did call you after the event. Is that something he would normally do if he were planning to put you on pause for a few months?

Posted by DMV

although, i feel like there is a silver lining in the escapades of last night. even tho the scorp in NO WAY was out to provide me protection, his actions did create doubt in my mind about the aries. And has made me think if i really want to go down this road...

Then he has accomplished what he set out to do (refer back to what you stated the Scorp said to you in the OP). How exactly is that a silver lining if you want to move past this Scorp?

Posted by DMV
at the end of the day, the scorpio does NOT want me. He doesnt want me as a girlfriend, wife, partner, friend, nothing. he just wants to WIN back my affections so he play with them and he feels secure at days end. in my insecurity he finds security.

stop throwing salt in my game. stop trying to turn men who like me off from me. thats so fucked up. Now i have to work overtime to correct his dumb shit.

That was why I suggested trying to stay steps ahead. It's annoying, but the person will know what's going on when it happens and it shouldn't have as much of an effect. Everyone can appreciate that a person has a past. It's only an issue (for me anyway) if your past is causing a problem in your present and you haven't told me how to handle it.

"because he was put in a weird position"

everything would be in a better place if they could leave the party together for his or her place.

All valid points Phoenix. all.

If i were in the aries shoes, id want someone to tell me whats going on here. your right, especially if it were MY past.

i just rang him but no answer.

mercury retro is surely testing my self esteem and personal security.

i will say that the aries friend was there last night as well and i saw him staring at me. So i know the aries has talked about me with at least one of his friends, so im on his mind.

its not that the scorp created hope in regards to him. his performance just slowed me down and has me thinking is the aries worth it.

whateves, scorp accomplished what he set out for.

ugh

i just dont want to feel silly for caring about the aries feelings if all he cares about is the color of my thong.

ya know?

"mercury retro is surely testing my ...."

testing your patience and the ability to go with the flow. Let things displace themselves at the right places according to their natural path of resistance.

We Sags are too proactive. Learn a little laziness from our Jupiterian siblings.

Dwelling, interesting thought. It is usually my stance to just ignore things and do nothing. But i half care about the aries so i dont want his mind filling up the holes ive chosen to ignore.

^^^ but you do care, so I think it's fine to indirectly let the man know by checking in and talking to him if/when you get the chance. You don't seem to be in the place where you can put yourself out there with him just yet, so keep it indirect. At the very least it lets the man know you're not interested in bringing drama to his life. It doesn't matter how much I like you, if you're messy I'm not bothering with you.

P.S. why hasn't that been sorted out already? (where you stand I mean)

No matter. If you get to talk to him, that will be figured out as well I'm guessing. His response and how the conversation flows will tell you how he's seeing this situation.

that was for your other post above Dwelling.

"let the man know by checking in and talking to him "

she wants to and tries too. he's not accessible. so far.

oh, I got it.

and the missed word "indirectly". gonna read once again.

Posted by DwellingOnMove
oh, I got it.

and the missed word "indirectly". gonna read once again.

Lol. NO worries.

Alright. I understand the "half care" comment now, as well as the hesitation. I guess my advice is only relevant if you feel you're at that stage where it has the potential to move forward. Even if it's for the purpose of keeping things positive if the company is good and the sex is even better 😈. I'm guessing that comment about feeling trapped and his response to direct questions will have you constantly second guessing when/if you should be open or not. It's unfortunate. Well my suggestion is this, just ask him "do we need to talk about the other night? I can address any questions you have" and leave it to him. No pressure to make it more than it is and he doesn't feel like you??re trying to have a serious conversation about something he might not be taking so seriously.

His response will tell you what you need to know, even if he doesn't answer. Also, you've reached out twice. The man has eyes, so he will return the call/text if he's inclined to do so. Let it rest for now.

^^^Oh and if he pulls the "do you have something you want to tell me?" Just be straight and tell him what's going on. At that point he's just trying to save face and doesn't want put himself out there by asking directly, so you're going to have to take the lead.

perfect!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i agree!

^^^^^^^

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yahhhhhhhhoooooooooooo, fun in paradise again. thanks to the darkest of all.

the video was very amusing, Mr.

Always interesting to read these type of stories.

Don't think I could party at 33. I'm such a granny. Prefer to stay home and cuddle by the fire.

Lol, Mr. Bird.