Can this Cancer woman get back a Scorpio man?

I dated a Scorpio guy for a couple of months a few months ago. I am very much into astrology and when I found out he was Scorpio, which I sensed due to my strong intuition that he was a water sign on our second date, I knew we'd be a great match. He seemed to be really into me and I let him pursue me heavily at first. I felt strong chemistry and thought we had a lot in common. He made a huge effort with me, and was very sweet, affectionate, gentlemanly...

Once we became intimate (we didn't rush!) however I got emotionally attached (as women do) and he must have sensed it and pulled back..(Which I've read is normal for Scorpios) But instead of giving him space, maybe I came on a little bit strong...He was contacting me less, and when I asked him about it, telling him I was confused and didn't know where I stood... (cringe, I know) He said he wasn't ready for a relationship as he recently came out of one and wanted to take things slow and get to know me better.
I felt confused and led on, and so I told him I would like to take things slow too, but then I didn't hear back from him. I don't know if I scared him off or if he just lost interest after being intimate (which personally I thought was pretty hot!).

Some time has passed now and I've dated other guys, but still have this scorpio on my mind. I have an event coming up which I know scorpio guy would love to go to. I get that he's not into me anymore otherwise I would have heard from him by now, but I wonder if it would be weird if I ask him if he wanted to go with me as friends?

I feel like we got on well enough that we could forget about what happened, and just have a nice time together. But I don't want to ask him if he will think it's mad/desperate that I am suddenly contacting him now. I guess a part of me thinks that there's a chance he's been wanting to reach out to me but has been scared to, if I would be mad at him or if I've met someone else. But I know that chance is slim. I just feel like this is a good excuse to reach out, but don't want to come across as needy / desperate / chasing after him.

What do you guys think? And do you think its possible to get him back? If this is the wrong way to go about it, what can I do?

Cancerrose- please move on... Save yourself the heartbreak. Regardless of astrology if he wanted something more he would've gone for it surely...

Hate to say it, but my girlfriends and I have this analogy...

So... You don't know what you want for dinner...
Maybe thai, or mexican and there is that new sushi place that just opened...?
*Up pops the man from the chinese take-away*
How about some nice cashew chicken lady?
Ummm- no, I don't know what I want, but I definitely know what I don't want

^^apply that in a dating sense whenever applicable^^

Take one of your girlfriends to the event- don't squander it on someone who doesn't appreciate you!

Rabbit- please insert the stages of dating a scorpio male...

Posted by Reincarnation
Reach out to him from the heart. Be genuine and honest.

I know you Cancers like to be funny and goofy at times, but resist the urge. Be genuine.

+1

If you do reach out, your best bet is to be honest and have zero expectations. Which means you have to start by being honest with *yourself*. No ulterior motives. Do not say you want to be friends if you KNOW you do not view him as just a friend.

Simply state how you feel/what your thoughts are, then extend the invitation. (State how *you* feel; don't question how *he* feels). Also realize that he is not obligated to respond.

Also realize there's a chance he went back to his ex.

D'awwh, it's not always that easy, rabbit. :/

Lol@Rabbit.

OP, you've moved on I noticed and dating other men, but this other guy -- you can't get him out of your mind.

He didn't lead you on at all. He told you straight off, that he wasn't ready. Don't push a man when he's not ready. If your intention is to try and get him by inviting him to this event....tell him straight off that you want a relationship with him. But, he already told you no...so unless he has changed his mind about you....

Anyway, LiliLou is correct. Move on.

"Moving on" and "getting over" are two different things though. And "moving on" if you are not fully "over it" seems... I dunno... Disingenuous (?) to me.

Posted by Andalusia
"Moving on" and "getting over" are two different things though. And "moving on" if you are not fully "over it" seems... I dunno... Disingenuous (?) to me.

They absolutely are... But I think the crucial part is that you need to be going forward and making progress.

Its not easy, but clinging to the ghost of a relationship is harmful and pointless.

The thing is that we obsess about the past. Its sits there enshrined in nostalgia with only the thinnest veneer of reality.

And a woman's heart is a fragile thing... We need to be more protective of our hearts and only generously bestow our time, care and affection on those who deserve it.
Our ex's do not...

True, Lilli-Boo.

Posted by Andalusia
"Moving on" and "getting over" are two different things though. And "moving on" if you are not fully "over it" seems... I dunno... Disingenuous (?) to me.

I don't consider it a "Step A" and "Step B." They sort of work together.

The bottom line is that NO couple is going to work out UNLESS the couple puts the effort into it. That means BOTH people have to want it, and even that's not enough.

It doesn't matter how ideal the astrological placement is. Either two people want to connect and form a solid, long-term relationship. Or they don't. One person thinking it's perfect for her won't cut the mustard.

Graceful acceptance of facts, paired with looking forward and keeping busy, help with healing.

Cancers tend to get caught up in the who, what, when, why and how instead of being happy to have gotten out with minimal wounds. While you wait around wanting him, wanting answers, you're setting yourself up for serious pain. Like the emotional trauma I've only known other cancers to relate to. I'm guilty of this and currently learning to cope and try the "it is what it is so Run" approach. I admire Scorpios for their ability to do this.
if you like the intensity you felt with this guy,just find another Scorpio who wants you for keeps. Then when you look back at this point you won't believe it was you who wrote it.

Or if that doesn't cut it, try getting pissed.clean your house or go for a drive blasting" domestic violence"
"You ain't shit, your daddy ain't shit your brother ain't shit, your money ain't shit your lab ain't shit, your rings ain't shit your gear ain't shit, your jewels ain't shit your kicks ain't shit..." its been proven work. No joke

Posted by cancerrose
I dated a Scorpio guy for a couple of months a few months ago. I am very much into astrology and when I found out he was Scorpio, which I sensed due to my strong intuition that he was a water sign on our second date, I knew we'd be a great match. He seemed to be really into me and I let him pursue me heavily at first. I felt strong chemistry and thought we had a lot in common. He made a huge effort with me, and was very sweet, affectionate, gentlemanly...

Once we became intimate (we didn't rush!) however I got emotionally attached (as women do) and he must have sensed it and pulled back..(Which I've read is normal for Scorpios) But instead of giving him space, maybe I came on a little bit strong...He was contacting me less, and when I asked him about it, telling him I was confused and didn't know where I stood... (cringe, I know) He said he wasn't ready for a relationship as he recently came out of one and wanted to take things slow and get to know me better.

I felt confused and led on, ..............
.........

Did you guys discuss what it is you wanted from each other before you became intimate? i.e. relationship or just sex?

Posted by Reincarnation
Reach out to him from the heart. Be genuine and honest.

You will get an honest answer.

I know you Cancers like to be funny and goofy at times, but resist the urge. Be genuine.

Just curious, why do you think she should contact him?

Posted by Rabbit

Posted by Rabbit

click to expand

HA! I laughed so hard at this 😛. Sometimes I wonder why people even ask for advice. In the end they only hear what they want to hear and they're gonna do what they wanna do.

Did you guys discuss what it is you wanted from each other before you became intimate? i.e. relationship or just sex?




No we hadn't discussed the 'status' of the relationship prior to becoming intimate, however all of his actions showed this wasn't just a one nighter/sex for him. He put in a LOT of effort, more than any guy I've known. He was also very nervous around me, took him 3 dates to pluck up the nerve to kiss me.. I had to go away on business for about a month, and he contacted me every day withou fail, filling me on his day, sending me pictures etc... Then after about 2 months is when we became intimate.
We didn't discuss the relationship as we are both quite shy, and I was happy to just take things slow and see how things went... I was never 'looking' for a relationship per se, but i was keen to see where things go with him.

But obviously I came on a bit too strong after sex, as I got confused about my feelings for him and got paranoid he wasn't as interested in me, as he took a few days to contact me rather than contacting every day.... (although I read later that this is quite normal for a guy to process things after becoming close with a woman) So I think I pushed him away.

OH and I said I felt led on because all of his actions prior to having sex showed that this wasn't just casual sex for him, due to all of the effort and sweet things he did.

He only told me he didn't want to rush into a relationship, after I told him I was confused and asked him where I stood. I told him I didn't want to rush either as we had both been in serious long-term relationships.. so when I said I wanted to take things slow too he didn't reply.

I appreciate everyone's responses! I never thought my post would get this much attention! 😄

Its sounds silly but its true. The fastest way for a cancer to stop obsessing is to get pissed.
she's obsessing.
If he wanted to be with you he would be.he knows you're open to it. Why he's not with you probably has nothing to do with you and is most likely nothing you want to get involved with.
he was sweet to you before lovemaking because he respects you and wasn't going to treat you like a whore for that reason.

Posted by Nemesis

Posted by kim30
Or if that doesn't cut it, try getting pissed.clean your house or go for a drive blasting" domestic violence"
"You ain't shit, your daddy ain't shit your brother ain't shit, your money ain't shit your lab ain't shit, your rings ain't shit your gear ain't shit, your jewels ain't shit your kicks ain't shit..." its been proven work. No joke

sure thing. run around town like a raving lunatic. that is gonna solve everything. lmfao.

click to expand

. : ) you like to take everything I say literally

Posted by Nemesis

Posted by kim30

Posted by Nemesis

Posted by kim30
Or if that doesn't cut it, try getting pissed.clean your house or go for a drive blasting" domestic violence"
"You ain't shit, your daddy ain't shit your brother ain't shit, your money ain't shit your lab ain't shit, your rings ain't shit your gear ain't shit, your jewels ain't shit your kicks ain't shit..." its been proven work. No joke

sure thing. run around town like a raving lunatic. that is gonna solve everything. lmfao.

. : ) you like to take everything I say literally

no and i hope nobody else does either....

click to expand

but you did with your silly remark. Trademark