Did he get the hint?

So I sent my Scorpio interest a text today asking how his day was. His reply was "you scared of me?" my response was "a little...scared because I dont know if we are on the same page or not" (Short background: been friends for almost a year, recently starting to talk and hang out more, no intimacy yet.)

Was this enough for him to get the hint that I have feelings? (And by the way...he hasnt responded to my last statement yet.) That was my way of being the one to take the first step. What's going through his head right now?

Roxi you have such good advice/suggestions..

And you have a knack for being an ass....don't say that....

In answer to the original post...Yes that was a big hint unless he's completely thick...but he chooses not to answer...we're nice like that 😛

Just ignore it and carry on with whatever it is that you do...you'll drive yourself insane thinking about it..

I remember one scorpio guy I was talking to for a while...we didn't speak on the phone that often but we did talk a lot on msn..he had his own business in 3 countries so was kinda busy..then suddenly he disappeared...6 months later I got a text saying "hey there scorpio queen how are u"...I said "sorry who are you?"...Never did hear from him again..

LOL..

Oh for crying out loud!

Why do you always sound as though your on the attack.....That comment was intended for nobody..I just said "for crying out loud"...why do you have to bring shit up from the past...I don't think I've ever been cruel to anyone..

"I remember one scorpio guy I was talking to for a while...we didn't speak on the phone that often but we did talk a lot on msn..he had his own business in 3 countries so was kinda busy..then suddenly he disappeared...6 months later I got a text saying "hey there scorpio queen how are u"...I said "sorry who are you?"...Never did hear from him again.."

MM I love I would have said the same thing.

"southernT: PLEASE relax. you can't possibly expect anyone here to be able to answer that question? just wait and see what he says - but don't overanalyse or anything cos it's not healthy."

The MAIN thing I wanted to know was if that was a big enough hint. But thank you for your condescending response though. Everyone comes here to talk things out and get advice.

"Scorpionlady? I have a hard time believing that one."

What are you talking about

"SL.. I am sorry for my comments. If you can't forgive then I understand"

I forgive you

southernT-

Don't you think that was a big enough hint, he has not called you back yet.

He is thinking let him think.

Eldo - I have only ever been horrible to you once..and that was when you made a nasty remark to me...I am not getting into this whole tit for tat thing..its pathetic and childish...

When I am cruel you'll know about it..I haven't ever been horrible to anyone on here..If I sound condescending, thats just my general view..not to anyone in particular..people need to just stop being so bloody sensitive..

And SouthernT - Rox wasn't being condescending..well not how I read it...

Why does everyone think we are always condescending..we are just speaking the truth in its purest form...

SL - That comment from Edo was towards me not you..lol

Whats that guy called who played the role of Mulder in the X-Files?

Does anyone else besides me think he's just sooooooo far from sexy as you can get?

MM

"SL - That comment from Edo was towards me not you..lol"

he was apologizing for something else. But it's cool you can have all the credits......LOL...Yall have a good weekend...BYE....

This comment made by Eldorado was to me "You have been cruel to me from time to time. So who were you talking to then... Scorpionlady? I have a hard time believing that one."

The asking for forgiveness was yours...

Have a good weekend..

"Why does everyone think we are always condescending.."
...."Perception" is the only "Reality" that people have to go on. If someone perceives you to be a certain way...then you ARE that way. Just like everyone just picked up on how sensitive I am being in this thread and the REALITY is...Yes I am sensitive.

"And yes, i dont think Roxi was being condescending."

I'm a Virgo. And that is a taste of how sensitive we are. No need to be harsh with Virgo to get your point across. It's cool! Everybody put your guns away now!!...LOL.. 🙂
THANKS FOR YOUR RESPONSES EVERYONE!

OH....on top of that....me being a Virgo...we analyze everything until we have it figured out....lol...look up characteristics on Virgo's. I can almost guarantee that the first couple of words will include analyze.

LOL..yeah I know many Virgos...and at times over analysis can be a kill joy...let it go..lol...

"relationships are ansgt-ridden enough without making it worse for yourself.

i was trying to be constructive "

Thanks.

"Frankly, I don't get the hint. I don't think he got it either. He gives you a flirtatious comment and your responding him about you not knowing if he is on the same page as you or not, may be indicative of your feelings towards him, but it may also mean that you would rather prefer to keep your friendship as is. You are friends for a year. He may easily interpret it differently. Did you guys ever flirt with each other? Did you ever send him those signals of interest? To me it is too vague. However, it is a good start but don't count on it."

"Most men are not psychics . In fact mos of them do not know what you are thinking unless you spell it out for them"

Oh.....now I am COMPLETLY confused. What else should I say? I really want to flat out tell him that I want a relationship but I know how guys are about the big "R" word. So how do I spell it out for him so that he understands what I want without coming on too strong? And by the way.....he hasnt responded at all. 😢

Well I guess I should give a few more details. (I just didnt want to type a whole page on the background)We've known eachother for almost one year. But he was coming fresh out of an engagement. We both verbally expressed that we liked eachother alot but remained friends for the first 6 months or so. (I definitley did not expect him to jump back into a serious relationship after a broken engagement.) And the contact was very sporadic on his part. I would hear from him about every 4-6 weeks and we would do things in grouop settings. (Never me and him alone and he never took me out on a date.) NOW, he's calling more often but he flaked out on me the first time that I was supposed to go over his house about a month ago. We set a day and when that day came, he didnt answer his phone. I then sent him a text saying "The next time you make plans and decide to cancle or if something comes up, I would appreciate if you would let me know so that I dont have that time set aside". His response "I am so sorry, I was playing basketball & got hit in the head and I had a minor concussion. Took pain relivers and went to sleep" I simply replied "sorry to hear that, hope you feel better" (part of me did NOT believe that of course.) So, he then called me a couple of days later and came to pick me up and we hung out at the mall. Before he dropped me off he, I explained to him that I dont understand what his intentions are. His resonse "I'm a good guy and I have good intentions". So, another two weeks goes by with NO contact and my birthday roles around. I invited him out with the group. He showed up towards the end. A few days after that, he's getting ready to visit some friends and asked if he could come over afterwards around 10:45 at night. I was getting ready to take a shower and he asked if I would like some company in the shower, I told him NO. (jokingly) He asked why and I say "because your not really put forth that much effort and your not showing me enough. Your not being consistent. you and I will hang out and then I wont hear from you for 3 or 4 weeks and when you do that, it sends me mixed signals and that makes me pull back." So he then asked if I wanted him to call everyday. And of course I said no, I dont by any means expect you to call every single day, but 3 weeks is too long. He agreed that he wasnt showing me enough. So he called about two days later to go to the mall again. I told him I was busy at the time and would be free in about an hour. He says cool,

call me when your finished. I call him about an hour later, he doesnt answer, but sends me a text about half an hour later saying he's already at the mall. OK-cool, a week later (last week) he invites me over to his place. I go over there and we talk and laugh and I left about midnight. He walks me to my car and hugs me tight and kisses my cheek. He gave me light kisses on my neck too, and I laughed and said "alright boy..." He laughed too, I got in the car and he told me to call him when I made it home safely. So now it's been a week and I havent heard from him since I went over there last week. Until yesterday, thats when I sent him the original text that started this thread. My purose for telling him that i didnt know if we were on the same page. I have made it VERY clear to him that I dont do casual sex or friends with benefits and I will not have sex outside of a relationship. THAT is why I sent him the text saying that I didnt know if we are on the same page. (Sorry for the long story, just hope that it clears up questions that anyone might have. ) OK, so after all of that, what does everyone think?

so in other words, I cant tell if he's after sex or is honestly interested in something more with me.

"You are getting impatient........but being impatient and forcing a response is not going to go well!

I think you should reign in your emotions and relax.....you should not show any further romantic interest....or force him to give you a response!
Just be friends and see if he wants to take it any further later...."

Yeah...your exactly right. I getting impatient and my feelings are getting pretty strong. I guess guys move at a slower pace than girls.....or....he's just not that into me. I want to call him soooo bad right now. My dailing finger is itching. But talking to you guys is helping a bunch. Thanks! 🙂 Good advice, I have to continue to keep my emotions in check and not let him know.

oh...and last week while I was at his place, he jokingly asked me if I loved him. And it caught me sooooo off guard, that I just looked at him sighed and smiled. I wanted to scream "Yeah! I'm not too far from it" But I didnt feel that the time was right.

"He asked you if you loved him— That doesn't make sense."

See....It's stuff like that which make me think we are on the same page...and then I wont hear from him untill whenever which makes me think we are not on the same page. I want to pick up the phone so bad right now and just say "look, what are we doing here?"

"I don't think we know enough. Is he lately trying to see you more often? What's his age about?

He already gave you a 'sex invite' hint. So it is difficult to speculate if he was being flirtatious with you when he asked you if you loved him or did he ask in a more serious and romantic manner? It's hard to put it in words."

Yes, he's now been asking to see me "just a little" more often. Put it this way: I've seen him 3 times in the past 4 or 5 weeks. With a couple of text and phone conversatons in between. And yes he has been dropping sexual hints within the past 4 months. His first one was in June, after a group of us went out, he asked if I wanted to come inside afterwards and it was 2:30 am in the morning. I smiled and told him that it was pretty late for me to come inside. He just hugged me and smiled. Walked me to my car and said goodnight. Then I didnt hear from him for about a month. Then I didnt hear from him untl July when he sends a text out the blue saying "Did anyone tell you that you are beautiful today? Well if not....you are beautiful." Then he called a few times in July, so then he started calling more frequently towards the end of July. Then August and Sept....he's been calling a little more and we've seen eachother a little more.

"He already gave you a 'sex invite' hint. So it is difficult to speculate if he was being flirtatious with you when he asked you if you loved him or did he ask in a more serious and romantic manner? It's hard to put it in words."

He asked in a flirtatious way...

"Obviously he is attracted to you. However, what are his intentions? I think right now he is just attracted. It's always good to ask directly, but you have to choose your words carefully. Lets say distinguishing sex with romantic feelings. You know him better, am just giving example words. I think romantic feelings might be safer than somekind of 'relationship' word."

I already asked him what his intentions where last month. And his response was "I'm a good guy and I have good intentions". Not wanting to force the issue I just left it at that. And yes I agree, 3 times in 3 to 5 weeks is not often enough. The more I talk about this, the more I'm telling myself to cut him off. It doesnt take anybody one year to figure out if you have romantic interest in someone or not. I took me a couple of days when I met him and I KNEW I had a romantic interest in him.

Hi SouthernT,
I am a Leo but after reading all the messages in this topic I am positive that the best advice someone can possibly give you right now is to remember what Eldorado told you to do on your other topic "Scorpio test their potential mates?". I read that topic 2 days ago and now those messages I am talking about are gone but it seems to me that even though you may think you are doing what he said you are just sending more confusing signals for someone who seems to be already confused and afraid... Just remember to take advice about guys from people who truly understand them: other guys (and other Scorpio in Eldorado's case)!! I felt the urge to post my advice because I was completely surprised to read the following cliche: "If a guy does not call you or contact you for a long period of time, it means he does not care." This is only true if the guy knows without shadow of a doubt that you like him and still acts like this, in all other cases this is completely false (there can be so many reasons, like having a backbone for instance...) and just feminist talk one step away from saying that all man are alike...

Title: Did he get the hint?

"I have made it VERY clear to him that I dont do casual sex or friends with benefits and I will not have sex outside of a relationship."



I hinted .. I was very clear .. rflmao

"Alright boy" .. that's very clear that you're saying no, lol

I always say arlight when I mean no ..


You're signals are all over the board .. but, I'm not surprised, really ..

You only want to hang out in groups, a kiss on the nect to you suggests that he wants more which you don't so you make it clear to him by saying alright, when he asks you to go to mall (mall? like teenagers?) you are busy and can't go yet want to be personal with him, so long as personal doesn't include sex, it apparantly doesn't include mall time either ..

You're very confusing .. if alone time is not what you want, what you want is group time .. then how in the hell is he suppose to know you want more than friendship? He tries to kiss you and you back away, lol

wtf?

Virgo's .. I swear !!!!

Oh, I just got it ...

A kiss means intercourse .. just like pot means herione


I see, so if you allow him to kiss you, or be cuddly to you .. then to you that means he just wants sex.

Yes, Virgo's are known to shrug off intimacy ..

fyi: being cuddly/affectionate is NOT sex .. it's what people do when they are showing interest that they care about you and want you to "feel" them.

I know this is hard for a Virgo to understand ... but, when you want him to call you all the time and put focus in you, then when he is with you, you push him away ... this IS mixed signals from YOU.

lol

"I explained to him that I dont understand what his intentions are."

"So, another two weeks goes by with NO contact and my birthday roles around. I invited him out with the group. He showed up towards the end."

"I say "because your not really put forth that much effort and your not showing me enough. Your not being consistent."

"So he then asked if I wanted him to call everyday. And of course I said no, I dont by any means expect you to call every single day, but 3 weeks is too long."

" He agreed that he wasnt showing me enough. So he called about two days later to go to the mall again."

"I told him I was busy"

I have to add .. I apologize to the Virgo's who aren't this oblivious, for there are some who are actually aware, and not ignorant, so that was unfair to say all Virgo's ...

Sorry 🙂

"Oh, I just got it ...
A kiss means intercourse .. just like pot means herione
I see, so if you allow him to kiss you, or be cuddly to you .. then to you that means he just wants sex."

Yes, considering he hasnt taken me out on a date. I dont understand why he's asking for alone time but this has yet to consist of him taking me out on a date?

"Yes, Virgo's are known to shrug off intimacy .."

I CAN'T WAIT to become intimate with him.

"fyi: being cuddly/affectionate is NOT sex .. it's what people do when they are showing interest that they care about you and want you to "feel" them."

I understand that.

"I know this is hard for a Virgo to understand ... but, when you want him to call you all the time and put focus in you, then when he is with you, you push him away ... this IS mixed signals from YOU."

I do this because HE is sending mixed signals when he is not being consistent. How does he expect me to feel comfortable with being intimate with him when his contact is so sporadic and his signals are not cleare? Prime example: (He STILL hasnt replied to my original question about us being on the same page by the way...)I went out Saturday night with the girls and they stood outside in the parking lot deciding not to go inside. So I get back in the car and head home. But, since I was already dressed with no where to go, I called him and asked if he was out on the town for the night, explaining to him that my girls decided not to go inside the first place we went to. He says "Well if you would have called me earlier, we could have had snuggle time." I SAY "well we can still do that." He says "It would be later. Around 2 or 2:30 AM (in the morning). We can snuggle tomorrow. But I have some other people with me right now and we are trying to decide what to do for the night. I'll call you so you can meet up with us" I said "ok. I would like that". THEN....I get a text from my girlfriend about 10 minutes after that conversation saying that he wanted me to COME BACK to the place where me and my girls were at earlier because they decided to stay. So I turn around and go BACK. I walk in and he sitting there and I had no idea that he was even up there. So I walk in, he is there with another guy and two girls. So this set up was pretty obvious. I asked him if he was there with a date and he introduced me to everyone. Then said in my ear "Dont worry, its not that type of party" (refering to the girl that sitting next to him.)

so through out the night, she had a few drinks and was pretty touchy with him and and he danced with her. (I noticed that SHE was making all of the advances and he didnt touch her not once, and he kept pulling away.) But he didnt really talk to me much with her being in his face all night. (Good thing I was there with my girls.) So my point being, if he is sooo interested in me (shy/confused/mixed signals...whatever) why wasn't I his date for the night? And why on earth would he invite me to come back up there knowing that he was there with a girl already who obviously liked him? Then the four of them left and he didnt even tell me he was leaving and didnt say bye. And to top it off, of course he did NOT call me the next day to "snuggle" like he said he wanted to do and I agreed to. WHAT ON EARTH—?

"So my point being, if he is sooo interested in me (shy/confused/mixed signals...whatever)"


He's not .. you are the one fixated on him being interested in you.

Fuck pages .. throw the book away .. the book isn't human

You are focused on the two of you being on the same page .. and what you fail to realize is that he doesn't even know your manual exists.

He believes you are suppose to be just going with the flow, casually seeing where this goes without being fixated on pages ..

By being on the same page, you are referring to order/discipline/systematic/dependable/reliable/department

Fuck pages .. rip your clothes off, go run through the park in the rain ..

Feel life .. don't try to organize it 🙂

"Why are you so afraid to just go with the flow and be intimate with him? Stop analysing. Things could go either way. You "snuggle" and he dumps you or you "snuggle" and he wants you. But you'll never know unless you take the chance. I've read posts about Scorpio being sex-crazed, etc. Being the exact opposite sign, I beg to differ. Most of us use sex to get closer to someone as opposed to just using them."

Simple: Dont want to get hurt and used. So my problem is making sure that I am not out-smarted in anyway. And YES I realize that this is a personal issue. That isnt even an issue of what my sign is or what his sign is. It's just a typical situation of being hurt and used in the past and now.....gaining the courage to try again. So in other words, I know exactly what I want and I want it with him, I just dont know HOW to do it.

"This guy has been trying to get intimate with you and you've been exhibiting Virgo coldness. He will keep pulling away until you start relaxing and warming up."

Wrong....people thing that Virgo's are so cold and that is only a facade. We APPEAR to be that way on the outside. We are the warmest most affectionate poeple that you will ever meet. We just dont show it until we trust you. And we are very intimate and warm on the inside. The only people that will come to know this about Virgo's are the ones that care to put in the time and effort to REALLY find out.

"All this about defensiveness on your part and analysing and thinking things up MEANS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!"

LOL.....I'm Virgo, cant help it, it comes natural to me. Sorry if this discussion is bothering you. 🙂

"I just dont know HOW to do it."


That's obvious, nor will you listen to any insight.



"people thing that Virgo's are so cold and that is only a facade. We APPEAR to be that way on the outside. We are the warmest most affectionate poeple that you will ever meet. We just dont show it until we trust you. And we are very intimate and warm on the inside. The only people that will come to know this about Virgo's are the ones that care to put in the time and effort to REALLY find out."


rflmao ... funniest thing I've heard all day.

If you would like to know how a Virgo wins over a water-signs heart, you just let me know and I'd be glad to tell you .. however, you'd have to put your listening ears on for what my words are saying, and not just hear my tone .. or you'll miss the message.

Don't worry .. it's just me.

Does this mean that I know Scorpio's better than they know themselves?

lol


Here's what you need to know .. when a Scorpio is attracted to you, you will know because he WILL be full force ahead, intense, loyal .. he will go above and beyond whatever it takes to win the object of his affection .. lol

This man is toying around, tickling her fancy, and probably finding it quite humorous .. and because she keeps throwing herself at him, he sees her as desperate.

Com'on Scorp's .. you know yourselves .. if a person is falling at your feet .. you play around because you want someone who's strong and powerful and has some dignity.

This is so obvious .. why is it that I'm the only one who can see it?

When a Scorpio wants you .. YOU WILL KNOW IT

"So I sent my Scorpio interest a text today asking how his day was. His reply was "you scared of me?""


Hello .. come in ..

Bored .. my husband just came home and still bored .. so, that should say it all .. need a hobby .. I'm thinking a hot Scorpio man, what do you think?

LMAO

He's Virgo .. he just wouldn't get it .. besides the real Scorp man is kinkier .. hell, just "thinking" about kinky would be nice.

First husband was a Gem .. the current one is a Virgo

"If you would like to know how a Virgo wins over a water-signs heart, you just let me know and I'd be glad to tell you .. however, you'd have to put your listening ears on for what my words are saying, and not just hear my tone .. or you'll miss the message."

OK...I'm listening and hearing. Talk....

:: speechless ::

Ooppps, that "speechless" was to Fumi .. not used to hearing compliments.