coolcap13
@coolcap13
7 Years
Comments: 2 · Posts: 27 · Topics: 4
Done with Scorp Girl?
Posted by starlord
Did you ask her why she doesn't feel comfortable hanging with "your" friends, and/or why she suddenly see them as your friends?
If you met them first and stayed with them while she was away, and she didn't really stay in touch with them, I'd concider them your friends too. Maybe she feels insecure. Maybe she wants to hang with you alone.
And what was bad about your last dinner?
I'm rooting for a cap guy scorpio girl meeting through work-thing!
Yea, it was definitely the fact that I met my friends first and she didn't really keep in touch with them when she was away. Add this to the fact that some of her friends from university joined our office at the same time she was hired full-time and the division between "my friends" and her widened.
Our last dinner, I tried to get to know more about her faith, her spiritual attitude, etc. (i.e. does she believe in a higher power) because this is important to me. Turns out that she's an atheist and I'm fairly spiritual so this turned into a mess as we began debating about faith and god in general. Not saying the conversation was bad but it never went anywhere else and changing subjects didn't help as both of us our so passionate about our views.
Reading these responses has got me thinking that its not over yet...maybe I'll get in touch with her soon and see what happens.
This was three months ago??.. Hmmz man you should find other women to hang with, that’s a long time without progress and you’re still thinking about her.
But why do you need mutual friends to hang out with her? This isn’t high school anymore mate.
I think probably you’ve been friend zoned, each encounter you had was friend mode right? And then how long was this going on? And do you think she’s put you in the friend category now? .. it’s kinda difficult to get out of that. You would need to switch it up big time, move faster, three months is ages!
It’s irrelevant if she said she was ‘lazy’, she probably was (or is) but don’t say it like it’s an excuse for not meeting you.. it’s not. Check your mindset.
And she feels uncomfortable hanging out with those friends.. yeah probably, sounds like your a bit clingy, are you the type to change your FB status to in a relationship after one kiss? Maybe you are, or aren’t, but some guys do that, and most women are afraid of that, she gets any vibe you might. E and it’s off putting. Scorpios are kinda secretive too, you can’t tell mutual friends you are together, so that vibe you’re giving off, it needs to change. Don’t be that guy who cares about what friends think, don’t be that guy that needs to tell people, or be seen as a couple. Only women decide what they call it and when. Hope this doesn’t sound harsh, just trying to be helpful. But I think generally you’ve been friend zoned and are a bit clingy, especially if you are still thinking about it 3 months later. Don’t you think this too?
As a rule, never talk about religion or politics.. if you feel so strongly about religion that you have to argue about it, then maybe she isn’t right for you. Plenty of women out there man.
But why do you need mutual friends to hang out with her? This isn’t high school anymore mate.
I think probably you’ve been friend zoned, each encounter you had was friend mode right? And then how long was this going on? And do you think she’s put you in the friend category now? .. it’s kinda difficult to get out of that. You would need to switch it up big time, move faster, three months is ages!
It’s irrelevant if she said she was ‘lazy’, she probably was (or is) but don’t say it like it’s an excuse for not meeting you.. it’s not. Check your mindset.
And she feels uncomfortable hanging out with those friends.. yeah probably, sounds like your a bit clingy, are you the type to change your FB status to in a relationship after one kiss? Maybe you are, or aren’t, but some guys do that, and most women are afraid of that, she gets any vibe you might. E and it’s off putting. Scorpios are kinda secretive too, you can’t tell mutual friends you are together, so that vibe you’re giving off, it needs to change. Don’t be that guy who cares about what friends think, don’t be that guy that needs to tell people, or be seen as a couple. Only women decide what they call it and when. Hope this doesn’t sound harsh, just trying to be helpful. But I think generally you’ve been friend zoned and are a bit clingy, especially if you are still thinking about it 3 months later. Don’t you think this too?
As a rule, never talk about religion or politics.. if you feel so strongly about religion that you have to argue about it, then maybe she isn’t right for you. Plenty of women out there man.
I think this may not be a match between the two of you.
If you still work for the same employer then that can be an issue for both parties plus the employer. You may not see an issue but she may. In addition, you were promoted so perhaps that throws a spanner in the works somewhere.
If spirituality is exceptionally important to you yet she's an atheist then this will be a point of contention for you if you were to embark on a relationship together. You may think it won't be and that you could marry and raise children successfully. However, I'm not saying you couldn't, I'm just saying it will be a tension along with other tensions or differences you may have between you.
The simplest point in all of this is that she just might not be into you. Yeah, I know, I'm sure you're a fantastic fella, gorgeous, a nice bloke etc but you may not be 'doing it' for her. It happens. Sorry.
If you still work for the same employer then that can be an issue for both parties plus the employer. You may not see an issue but she may. In addition, you were promoted so perhaps that throws a spanner in the works somewhere.
If spirituality is exceptionally important to you yet she's an atheist then this will be a point of contention for you if you were to embark on a relationship together. You may think it won't be and that you could marry and raise children successfully. However, I'm not saying you couldn't, I'm just saying it will be a tension along with other tensions or differences you may have between you.
The simplest point in all of this is that she just might not be into you. Yeah, I know, I'm sure you're a fantastic fella, gorgeous, a nice bloke etc but you may not be 'doing it' for her. It happens. Sorry.
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As fate would have it, she came back to work full-time and got in touch with me. Again, we kept meeting each other (with our mutual friends) over time. I never decided to take it to the next level though.
Fast forward a few months and I'm promoted to a higher position at work. All of a sudden, she starts to keep her distance from me and cancels or makes excuses to meet with our mutual friends.
I decide to take her to dinner one day and ask her why she's acting this way. Apparently she said she's "lazy" and doesn't feel comfortable hanging with "my friends", who ironically are the same group of people we have been hanging out with all this time.
Nonetheless, I met her for dinner one more time to get to see if we can make something out of this but this unofficial "date" didn't go anywhere. Anyways, this was 3 months ago now and we've been sorta avoiding each other at work now but I can feel the tension every time I see her.
So what do I do, close this chapter and move on? Or get in touch with her again? As a cap, I need some closure on this...and its hard for me to just let her go.