Funny, funny, funny

I got these off of some website...I think it's called "T-Shirts for Scorpios"...I'll get back to you with the web address later, in the meantime, read! These are funny.

A. The Originals

If you love something, set it free. If it doesn't come back, hunt it down and kill it.

I'm not playing hard to get. I am hard to get.

It's not whether you win or lose. It's how you look playing the game.

I think I could fall madly in bed with you.

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

Nothing was ever accomplished by a reasonable person.

A simple lie is easier to believe than a complex truth.

If the only tool you have is a hammer, treat everything like a nail.

Hi, I'm a nice person learning to be vicious, cruel, mean, and nasty. Is it okay if I practice on you?

You can't win, you can't break even, you can't quit.

There is nothing more restful than taking orders from fools.

You'll see it when you believe it.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

You can be sincere and still be wrong.

If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me.

The map is not the terrain.


B. The Additions

You're supposed to break their hearts, darling. They're not supposed to break yours.
--Found written down near my TV. Probably from an old movie, but I don't remember which one.

All Stressed Out and No One To Choke

I am a snowball in hell.

A hopeless romantic in a male chauvinist world.

You don't have to know arithmetic
To know that you and I would click.
My heart tells me this,
Your lips were meant to kiss,
And it's dark on Observatory Hill.

How gently failure can happen
--Tennessee Williams?

Thus, the unfacts, did we possess them, are too imprecisely few to warrant our certitude, and the evidence-givers too untrustworthy.
--James Joyce, I think from Ulysses, possibly the walk on the beach. Maybe Samuel Beckett?

The world is imprisoned in its own activity, except when actions are performed as worship of God. Therefore you must perform every action sacramentally and be free from all attachment to results.

Sometimes I go about in pity for myself, and all the while
A great wind is bearing me across the sky.
-- Ojibwa Saying

The dream of every poem is to be a myth.
--Galway Kinnell

Trust those who seek the truth, but distrust those who have found it.
--Andre Gide

Why are we willing to accept a new mathematical formula we don't understand as the product of a brilliant mind, while rejecting a new art form we don't understand as the product of a deranged mind?
--Columnist Sydney Harris?

I don't pray for justice. If I get justice, I'm in big trouble. I pray for mercy.

The strong give up and leave. The weak give up and stay.
--from a Hall and Oates song. The reverse might also be true.

Be careful, or I might include you in my plans.

I don't need a great deal of love ... but I do need a steady supply.

"...ordinary people leading desperate lives."
-- The Great Gatsby. Used for the title of Judith Guest's Ordinary People

Let the Wookie win.

OUR LADY OF ODD COUNSEL
--misprint in St. Josephat church bulletin

"We have joined the caravan, you might say, at a certain point;
we will travel as far as we can, but we cannot in one lifetime see
all that we would like to see
or learn all that we would like to see,
or learn all that we hunger to know."
--Loren Eiseley, "The Immense Journey"

We often forget the power of boredom as a revolutionary force.

Anyone who doesn't fail on a regular basis isn't trying things that are
difficult. If we never fail, it means our dreams are small.

the friend who un