How self-aware are you REALLY?

My scorp recently confessed to me, that most of the time, he is perfectly aware of his own behavior, and how selfish and destructive or even unjustified it is at times. By now, I have accepted his cynical comments, his jealousy, when he plays offended, the guilt trips and so on, that's why I'm so surprised about this confession. Some part of me even thought that it was my own distorted perception.

Yet, he says he still can't admit or change it.

So, how is it for you? When you know you are wrong, do you prefer to manipulate the other into thinking you are right, or are you able to admit your own fault?

@SensitiveBlues That's my question to you tbh lol

Jahila, my Scorpio best friend too, has confessed to me all her misbehavior in her past relationship, and all her faults, basically blaming herself entirely and exclusively for the failure of the relationship. Yet to him, she is incapable of expressing the same and admitting her faults. I also am having a hard time understanding it.

Posted by SensitiveBlues
whats the point of knowing if you're not going to be better

Acceptance. Accepting yourself for who you are and what you are.

Example- I'm vain. Super vain- to the extent that i've been compared to Narcissus.

I understand that vanity is the death of spirituality. But to quote Dax Riggs said- "I understand, and don't care."

Posted by Jahlia
It seems almost fatalistic, tbh. Like "I am the way I am and I can't change" but I am suspicious of the /can't/ aspect. How strong is scorpio in his chart aquamila? I am good friends with a scorpio(with heavy pluto) and she doesn't seem to display these characteristics. So I wonder if It's the result of other placements in the chart and whatnot.

He is scorpio dominant, with his venus in scorpio as well.

Posted by WhiteChocolate
Yes...I realized I engaged in this type of behavior when I was younger.

When I took the time to think about it, I came to the realization it was simply too much work. So I stopped.

He's convinced himself he can't stop.

It's not that he can't. He just doesn't WANT to stop.

Whitechocolate, how is it too much work? Isn't it harder to admit your own faults and change your behavior?
He told me he really wished he could change it. On the other hand he excuses a lot of his behavior with his sign

Posted by WhiteChocolate
Yes...I realized I engaged in this type of behavior when I was younger.

When I took the time to think about it, I came to the realization it was simply too much work. So I stopped.

He's convinced himself he can't stop.

It's not that he can't. He just doesn't WANT to stop.

I'm a little bit of a stalker of you today - but your are totally saying what I'm thinking today!! =)

When we know better, we do better - unless you don't want to, it just comes down to actually wanting to change.

I find it really hard to understand, how scorpios seem to be their own strictest critics, more self-aware than any other sign, and yet most reluctant to admit or change their behavior when they realize they are an asshole to you. It's a pride thing too, I guess

@Jahila, the moment my guy confessed to me, was pretty intimate, and felt like he was completely exposing himself to me. Those moments are rare, so it really got me thinking.

White Chocolate, I was so struck by the fact that he actually is aware of all his behavior and confessed that to me, that I didn't even think further. What you say makes a lot of sense, thanks for the insight! Would you say it's another unevolved-scorpio thing?

Frostandbite, you know my last thread, and his attitude and behavior towards me (not the jealousy itself) have changed tremendously. He is in no way jeopardizing the relationship, I'm talking more about small daily conflicts. I realized he is actually much harsher with himself than I am.
Example: We went to the club to dance on new years, it was my idea just for the fun of it, but he agreed and insisted on it, even when I was hesitant because I knew he would get jealous. Well, then happened what had to happen: some guy there hit on me, and afterwards he blamed me for even taking him there and making him jealous, and generally complaining that I provoke other men to flirt with me and so on. Then later during THAT conversation, he confessed that he knows perfectly that is was him insisting on going to the club, and that I do absolutely nothing to provoke other guy's attention and admiration. He even said that he knows exactly that I do absolutely everything that is in my power for him and for us.

Posted by Jahlia

Posted by aquamila
@Jahila, the moment my guy confessed to me, was pretty intimate, and felt like he was completely exposing himself to me. Those moments are rare, so it really got me thinking.

Yeah, they have very deep seated emotions. I mean technically I knew that, But actually interacting with it is an experience in itself. The fact that they criticize themselves so much is most definitely a factor in It-being a cap I can understand it. I just wish I knew How to help them, because even if they don't want to change-it's clear that it causes them a lot of pain.

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Ohh I feel you. On dxp I am scolded for wanting to help scorpios lol but obviously everyone has their own issues which they need to solve for themselves. But yes, I see how much pain it causes him, and that he lacks confidence (especially when it comes to feeling worthy of me) just makes it more difficult for me to give him assurance and make him feel good about himself.

FrostandBite, yes, I think mine is at least a little bit of that sort too *sigh*. Right now, while we're in a distance relationship, complaining about our situation is a daily and understandable thing, but it can really annoy me and get me down when he starts wallowing in his own pain and misery when he should be happy.
Sorry to hear about your surgery, I hope everything goes well for you and wish you good luck! :*

Haha @thinktoomuch I guess I am at times way too naive to see through all his manipulating, and I guess in the end, that is what keeps him from really doing me harm with it. I really believe in the good in him, and overlook or forgive&forget most of his shitty behavior, while he feels bad for it for weeks.

Posted by flowingwater

Posted by WhiteChocolate
Yes...I realized I engaged in this type of behavior when I was younger.

When I took the time to think about it, I came to the realization it was simply too much work. So I stopped.

He's convinced himself he can't stop.

It's not that he can't. He just doesn't WANT to stop.

This.

He can evolve if he chooses too.

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What do you expect him to "evolve" into?

A monkey?

Posted by thinktoomuch
He´s manipulating you even with that "confession" 😄 Ooooh scorpio, can´t help but pull strings.

I've experienced a few people do this too and I'd swear the confession is part of the manipulation. They want to know how you'd react and how far they can push you before you go WTF.

@thinktoomuch of course he treats me good and I love him wholeheartedly, and I wouldn't ask him to change for me. But of course I see how it causes him pain. I will continue to love him unconditionally for who he is and not his own projection. I always tell him to not be so harsh on himself, mostly he feels guilty for things that didn't even bother or hurt me.
I started this threat actually because I'm curious to hear about other scorpios and how self-aware they are, and how much of it they admit to themselves and/or to others.

@starwars I also really admire their self-awareness and self-criticism. As for me, even if I'm open for (constructive) criticism, most of the time it's not until people actually tell me about my errors, that I notice and acknowledge them. I struggle with that a lot with my bf, since he usually refuses to tell me and instead asks me to think about my own actions and realize my mistakes by myself. *sigh*

And yeah, I guess we all manipulate at least unconsciously.

Posted by starwars
thats one of the traits i like about scorpios. they're full aware of their bad side as well as their good one. so real and im not bothered by their assholish side.

lol

right?? don't marry or be in a serioius relationship with one, if theyve got assholish attitudes.

Posted by MrFirebird

Posted by flowingwater

Posted by WhiteChocolate
Yes...I realized I engaged in this type of behavior when I was younger.

When I took the time to think about it, I came to the realization it was simply too much work. So I stopped.

He's convinced himself he can't stop.

It's not that he can't. He just doesn't WANT to stop.

This.

He can evolve if he chooses too.

What do you expect him to "evolve" into?

A monkey?

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lmao omg i watched it. 😆 I.Q went down even lower.

@Frostandbite That's why I'd rather believe in his good intentions even when in fact they are not (this is where his self-criticism kicks in). We are emotionally close enough for him to make such a confession genuinely. GetMisted, I agree. I generally find it very unhealthy to suspect manipulating tactics in everything scorpio's say or do. I believe the best I can do to help him, is to believe in the good in him always, instead of nagging him for the misbehavior which he is perfectly aware of and feels bad for without me even saying anything.

Posted by aquamila
@Frostandbite That's why I'd rather believe in his good intentions even when in fact they are not (this is where his self-criticism kicks in). We are emotionally close enough for him to make such a confession genuinely. GetMisted, I agree. I generally find it very unhealthy to suspect manipulating tactics in everything scorpio's say or do. I believe the best I can do to help him, is to believe in the good in him always, instead of nagging him for the misbehavior which he is perfectly aware of and feels bad for without me even saying anything.

I'm not a scorpio, so I'm just saying this as a human being. I like your conclusion! Just because there are some people who do this or that, doesn't mean everyone does it. And I should add that when I wrote the word manipulation, I meant it more as in the testing of a person to get to know them better, rather than as in cold hard manipulation. Good luck! 🙂

Posted by Skitty

Posted by SensitiveBlues
whats the point of knowing if you're not going to be better

Acceptance. Accepting yourself for who you are and what you are.

Example- I'm vain. Super vain- to the extent that i've been compared to Narcissus.

I understand that vanity is the death of spirituality. But to quote Dax Riggs said- "I understand, and don't care."

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Vain.... how so, exactly?

I'm honestly curious ...

That's why I'm attracted to Scorpios. It's truly an experience to see them open up and vulnerable as it's something I struggle with. They can make it so touching Jesus Christ lol.

Posted by Velocity
That's why I'm attracted to Scorpios. It's truly an experience to see them open up and vulnerable as it's something I struggle with. They can make it so touching Jesus Christ lol.

This. Feel you lol 😛 I swear each time he opens up to me a little more (still after 1,5 years) it feels like such an achievement and is so touching

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by aquamila
Frostandbite, you know my last thread, and his attitude and behavior towards me (not the jealousy itself) have changed tremendously. He is in no way jeopardizing the relationship, I'm talking more about small daily conflicts. I realized he is actually much harsher with himself than I am.
Example: We went to the club to dance on new years, it was my idea just for the fun of it, but he agreed and insisted on it, even when I was hesitant because I knew he would get jealous. Well, then happened what had to happen: some guy there hit on me, and afterwards he blamed me for even taking him there and making him jealous, and generally complaining that I provoke other men to flirt with me and so on. Then later during THAT conversation, he confessed that he knows perfectly that is was him insisting on going to the club, and that I do absolutely nothing to provoke other guy's attention and admiration. He even said that he knows exactly that I do absolutely everything that is in my power for him and for us.

Hehehehehe I remember this kinda stuff.

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From your own behavior or a scorpio you know? 😛 Or are you talking about the club scenario? 😄

Ahaha Arielle that sounds like something my guy would do 😄 I guess you gotta take it with humour

@FrostAndBite by the way, you mentioned harsh chart aspects/ contacts

Can you tell anything from his chart?

Sun Scorpio
Moon Aries
Mercury Sagittarius
Venus Scorpio
Mars Virgo
Jupiter Pisces
Saturn Aries
Uranus Aquarius
Neptune Capricorn
Pluto Sagittarius
Lilith Scorpio

IV. Libra
VIII Aquarius
XII Cancer

I only play Into my bad behavior when I'm really hurt. Otherwise I put it in check. If the person you're with is worth it, you will change and do everything you can to be mature and make it work.

Posted by PancakeFace
I only play Into my bad behavior when I'm really hurt. Otherwise I put it in check. If the person you're with is worth it, you will change and do everything you can to be mature and make it work.

You are a scorp moon, right? Do you get hurt easily?

I am. I can get incredibly hurt sometimes yeah. Mostly if it feels like betrayal. Or if the person I love with all my heart isn't honest with me that's the worst for me. You can expect all kinds of stereotypical Scorpio behavior then. The negative kind that is. I feel more evolved as a person these days though. So I'll usually just confront them about the problem. If they lie then yeah bad behavior on my part. It's not ideal, just being honest.

@PancakeFace I'm asking, because my scorp (rather unevolved from what I can tell) gets hurt or just offended in daily matters (lack of attention, jealousy or stuff like that) very easily. Mostly things I really couldn't have changed or affected, and never deliberately hurtful. I generally am very honest, and loyal of course. I give him little reason to actually be hurt, when i do - I didn't mean it. He still displays bad scorpio behavior.

Oh @Infinite8 my scorp behaves similarly. He once said I was the first girl in his life that he was afraid to hurt... But I am aqua/cap dominant so it takes a lot for me to get so hurt I burst out into tears.. ” Of course, I nevertheless can get really hurt BEFORE I have to cry. That's why he doesn't realize he hurts me until he has really crossed the line. At least I thought so, until he confessed, that he actually IS aware of his shit behavior, just can't admit or change it.

Aquamila, how long have you been with your scorpio? I'm a Aquarius Sun with Capricorn rising.

@Dava it's been one and a half years since we met and got together

I am self aware more now... although I allow myself to feel and then questions... it has been something that has been gained over about the last year or so. I would say It is much better the less I drink or do anything that hurts my health or clear minded ness.

PM

I'm aware when I need to poop.

Posted by aquamila
@Dava it's been one and a half years since we met and got together

Aquamila, sorry the reason why I asked is because it's a strong possibility that a scorpio man at work is interested and I'm feeling him also, but I am not sure if it would be a good match or if I'll have headaches in this matchup.

@Dava yes, I read about your situation. What are your other placements? If you are very airy, you might feel suffocated in a relationship with a Scorpio. I am living proof, that it can, in fact, work out between aqua and scorp. At least if it looks much like it will. This summer we will finally end the distance thing and move in together.

Posted by aquamila
@Dava yes, I read about your situation. What are your other placements? If you are very airy, you might feel suffocated in a relationship with a Scorpio. I am living proof, that it can, in fact, work out between aqua and scorp. At least if it looks much like it will. This summer we will finally end the distance thing and move in together.

When you say other placement, what do you mean?

Posted by Dava

Posted by aquamila
@Dava yes, I read about your situation. What are your other placements? If you are very airy, you might feel suffocated in a relationship with a Scorpio. I am living proof, that it can, in fact, work out between aqua and scorp. At least if it looks much like it will. This summer we will finally end the distance thing and move in together.

When you say other placement, what do you mean?

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It's just that I feel like the stereotypical, crazy aqua woman wouldn't be very compatible with a scorpio. You'd both need other planetary placements to balance it out. In my case, I think it is my cap dominance that is more compatible with scorpio. He also has some fire and earth placements. If you identify yourself strongly with the unemotional, social and freedom-loving aqua type, then getting involved with a scorp may not be a good idea, even if attraction at the beginning is strong. Listen to your gut feeling though Š

Posted by aquamila

Posted by Dava

Posted by aquamila
@Dava yes, I read about your situation. What are your other placements? If you are very airy, you might feel suffocated in a relationship with a Scorpio. I am living proof, that it can, in fact, work out between aqua and scorp. At least if it looks much like it will. This summer we will finally end the distance thing and move in together.

When you say other placement, what do you mean?

It's just that I feel like the stereotypical, crazy aqua woman wouldn't be very compatible with a scorpio. You'd both need other planetary placements to balance it out. In my case, I think it is my cap dominance that is more compatible with scorpio. He also has some fire and earth placements. If you identify yourself strongly with the unemotional, social and freedom-loving aqua type, then getting involved with a scorp may not be a good idea, even if attraction at the beginning is strong. Listen to your gut feeling though Š

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well typically, Scorpio man loves intensity and passion in a woman. So it Always depends on the placements.

but yeah typically, no dominant airy types. or too much fire. Unless he can match it.

Only thing I know is that I'm a Aquarius Sun with Capricorn rising, not sure about the moon.

Aquamila

I am a Aquarius sun with Leo moon and Capricorn rising.

I am a Aquarius sun with Leo moon and Capricorn rising.

@Dava Sounds like a powerful personality! Whether you are compatible or not with the Scorpio at your work, will only show in a closer relationship. So if you have the feeling to go for it, go for it! Until then, it might be helpful for you to read a little bit about scorpio men and how they work, so you have an idea of what to expect ‰

Posted by aquamila
@Dava Sounds like a powerful personality! Whether you are compatible or not with the Scorpio at your work, will only show in a closer relationship. So if you have the feeling to go for it, go for it! Until then, it might be helpful for you to read a little bit about scorpio men and how they work, so you have an idea of what to expect ‰

Aquamila,

Updated, so yesterday I think he was trying to make me jealous. I returned from lunch and his cell was vibrating loud, so to keep him so getting into trouble with office policy, I swipe unanswered on his phone and when he returned I informed him of what I did. He was cool with it and checked his phone and told me that it was another female coworker. I am like cool (I needed to play it cool lol). A few minutes later his all in player mode on the phone. Me with my nosey ass asked the next day I was tried of the games and wanted to regain my control of my own feels (Aquarius) so I ignored him and he always play nice with me when I shut down, so I said how's so and so and he was like he didn't understand (Jamaica, love love love when he speaks) anyway a few minutes he walk over and says when you asked about so and so (no names) it wasn't nothing she just needed help with work, so I touched him softly and told him don't worry about it, pushing him back to his area.

First I am a private person and people like to ease-drop and I think they know he liked me from the beginning.

Anyone, a few minutes later I walked over to him and told him I appreciate you checking on my feelings and he said your special trust me.

We put in for the lottery and he was like you're going to have leave your friend when we win the lottery and I was like what you mean and he was like I can't say right now, but you'll see.

Tonight at work he was stressed about something, but he stayed with me both of us was working, but when he was ready I can tell he wanted to to go too, but I didn't want to be so noticeable at work, but when I got back he was gone.

Usually if it something I want to know he'll tell me. He wanted to know today what part of the city I live. He has just about everyone number at work but his never asked for mine, why is that.

It definitely chemistry between us, but I want more. I want him physically and I want him mentally, I want the whole package and I refuse nothing less.

Your advice?

Oh dear @Dava , sounds like the very typical Scorpio chase. Yes, that's exactly what he wants to reach, and he's not gonna stop until you can't keep it in your pants anymore lol „
If you want more than just an affair, keep him in check. And most importantly, establish that mental connection (or see if it's there) in one-on-one conversations. Meet him for a coffee or something, and find out more about him. I've learned that Scorpios appreciate those deep aqua conversations more than they admit 😉 Strangely, Scorpios always somehow manage to make you tell them everything about yourself until they know everything about YOU, and then you suddenly realize, that you know nothing about THEM. So, don't let that happen. Otherwise, be honest, be sincere, avoid having any hidden motives (he will find out). My scorp has always appreciated the sincerity in my words and actions the most. Keep in mind that he will want to be the one in control, so let him believe that, but don't actually let yourself get controlled/manipulated. He might as well just be testing you on how easy you are to get, you better not make it too easy for him.
Keep us updated, hope it works out for you 😉

Posted by starlover

Posted by MagicMona
I admit my faults. I got no time for bullshit. Not even from me.

Me too

Am trying to be a better person every day and am very aware of what i put out there

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Hint hint we both planned a work outting with some workers, do you think that's a good move?