CogitoErgo
@CogitoErgo
9 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 13 · Topics: 4
I have a Scorpio who is simltaneously obsessed with me but not wanting me?
What I've seen is that some people get sexually obsessed with a person and that spurs them to do what they can to make that happen - that's where the pursuit energy can come from instead of a place of hoping for emotional bonding and all of the other things that a relationship that is romantic is about.
Posted by VirgowScorpiMoonI just said we dated a couple of months and I broke it off because he would not commit.Posted by CopperDove+1 I think you need to stop making yourself the call girl. Why would he want you for a relationship if he can get the goods already?
What I've seen is that some people get sexually obsessed with a person and that spurs them to do what they can to make that happen - that's where the pursuit energy can come from instead of a place of hoping for emotional bonding and all of the other things that a relationship that is romantic is about.
click to expand
I haven't been with him since
He's getting nothing!
Posted by CogitoErgoTypical scorp male Scorp female confusion. Been there and it's hard to break.
Hello. I found the forum after scratching my head wondering if hopefully anyone can give me any answer that could help.
I have the most complex relationship on and off with a Scorpio guy.
He wanted to date me for a very long time and we dated very briefly last year (September to October) so only 6 dates, and we had a really strong attraction and bond (I am Scorpio too) but I broke it off with him because I felt I was falling in love with him, and he was not looking for a relationship, and I was. He said he was cool with me breaking it off (he was a bit frosty for sure, but said he respected my choice) but...here we are 4 months on and he just will not move on.
He goes through period of a week or two where I don't hear anything, then he send me messages to say that he feels sad he can't see me and he misses me. Then I twig from what he says (he knows things) that he is more or less stalking me online. Then he tells me that what we have means someting, that it's a deep connection and bond and he says he is almost crazy with desire and longing. And he has even come to my house and stuff.
The crazy thing is, he is doing all of this to get me to take him back, as a casual partner. Like he still does not want me as a girlfriend. If I tell him "come on...why do all of this just for sex" he says "it is not just sex it means something" - which is a contradiction because he doesn't want a relationship.
Communicating with him is hard. Periods of openess and honesty are rare. Half the time has has walls up that are hard to penetrate and he is very defensive.
So the part I don't get, is that if you like a girl enough to put all this work into her...why would you not want to treat her right and give her a relationship? I don't want to be somebody's booty call here!
I thought (being a Scorpio myself) that we were the kind of people who didn't waste time on casual flings...but are Scorpio men capable of....well...wanting to have sex with a girl so badly they would do all of this?
I feel confused?!
I find that Scorp males who don't want to be In a relationship for whatever reason, they are still possessive by nature. Hence not wanting to let go. So that leaves the female confused.
Sorry I can't help just giving my 2 cents :/
Posted by aNEWdayPosted by CogitoErgoTypical scorp male Scorp female confusion. Been there and it's hard to break.
Hello. I found the forum after scratching my head wondering if hopefully anyone can give me any answer that could help.
I have the most complex relationship on and off with a Scorpio guy.
He wanted to date me for a very long time and we dated very briefly last year (September to October) so only 6 dates, and we had a really strong attraction and bond (I am Scorpio too) but I broke it off with him because I felt I was falling in love with him, and he was not looking for a relationship, and I was. He said he was cool with me breaking it off (he was a bit frosty for sure, but said he respected my choice) but...here we are 4 months on and he just will not move on.
He goes through period of a week or two where I don't hear anything, then he send me messages to say that he feels sad he can't see me and he misses me. Then I twig from what he says (he knows things) that he is more or less stalking me online. Then he tells me that what we have means someting, that it's a deep connection and bond and he says he is almost crazy with desire and longing. And he has even come to my house and stuff.
The crazy thing is, he is doing all of this to get me to take him back, as a casual partner. Like he still does not want me as a girlfriend. If I tell him "come on...why do all of this just for sex" he says "it is not just sex it means something" - which is a contradiction because he doesn't want a relationship.
Communicating with him is hard. Periods of openess and honesty are rare. Half the time has has walls up that are hard to penetrate and he is very defensive.
So the part I don't get, is that if you like a girl enough to put all this work into her...why would you not want to treat her right and give her a relationship? I don't want to be somebody's booty call here!
I thought (being a Scorpio myself) that we were the kind of people who didn't waste time on casual flings...but are Scorpio men capable of....well...wanting to have sex with a girl so badly they would do all of this?
I feel confused?!
I find that Scorp males who don't want to be In a relationship for whatever reason, they are still possessive by nature. Hence not wanting to let go. So that leaves the female confused.
Sorry I can't help just giving my 2 cents :/click to expand
that's really selfish if you think about it.
It's very selfish
Posted by aNEWdayand very cruel.
It's very selfish
because it's not thinking of the other person's feelings.
😢
Thank you for replying here.
I let him come and see me yesterday so I could ask about this, and get some explanation. He said basically this is what it is. He says he has only ever had one "relatonship" in his life (bad childhood too) and he was baly hurt by her and he said it was bad. Like suicidal from the heartbreak and it took him years to feel normal again so he said he does hold back on his emotions a heck of a lot for that reason. But he said it was more than that.
He said basically he was looking for a bit of fun, and he saw me as smart and beautiful and just basically the object of his total fantasy and he had an image in his mind that being with me would be awesome, but that from day one he knew nothing serious would or could ever come of it because he plans to go away for his job in a couple of years and he has a long range plan for having multiple children (wants a big family) and that by then I would be too old to fit the bracket of his life plan 😢 So he said, you know, he always saw it as just a fling.
But he said, he felt more than he expected, and that while he is pretty good at closing his emotions off he does really feel sad without me in his life. I asked him how he saw me and why he wanted me (and expected him to talk about how amazing the passion and sex was) and instead he said to me this...
continued on next post so I don't run out of space
Thank you for replying here.
I let him come and see me yesterday so I could ask about this, and get some explanation. He said basically this is what it is. He says he has only ever had one "relatonship" in his life (bad childhood too) and he was baly hurt by her and he said it was bad. Like suicidal from the heartbreak and it took him years to feel normal again so he said he does hold back on his emotions a heck of a lot for that reason. But he said it was more than that.
He said basically he was looking for a bit of fun, and he saw me as smart and beautiful and just basically the object of his total fantasy and he had an image in his mind that being with me would be awesome, but that from day one he knew nothing serious would or could ever come of it because he plans to go away for his job in a couple of years and he has a long range plan for having multiple children (wants a big family) and that by then I would be too old to fit the bracket of his life plan 😢 So he said, you know, he always saw it as just a fling.
But he said, he felt more than he expected, and that while he is pretty good at closing his emotions off he does really feel sad without me in his life. I asked him how he saw me and why he wanted me (and expected him to talk about how amazing the passion and sex was) and instead he said to me this...
continued on next post so I don't run out of space
He told me that he thought I was smart and beautiful and more sexy than anyone else he'd ever met, but that it was more than that. He said he felt a really strong connection to me, emotionally on every level and that he said he watched me and the way I am and he loves how thoughtful I am, that I think about other people all the time, that he loves how I am so emotional, even a little needy and demanding but that I always say exactly what I feel because he says he is colder inside and being around me makes him warmer. He said he loves the way I always tell the truth, and that because of knwoing me he had started to do that too and that he felt better abut himself because of the lessons I have taught him just from watching me. he said he loves that people come to me for help, that I comfort people and that when I walk into a room everyone smiles. He said even after a short time of knowing me that I inspired him to want to be a better person, and to believe people could be better and he found himself listenting to my voice in his head and that it was changing him and making him less selfish.
And that just almost broke my heart.
But he said that in the spirit of the honesty I have taught him, he definitely sees no permanent future because of the logistical issues and he would never allow himself to fall in love with me for that reason so can only ever offer me a casual relationship, and that he would keep his distance emotionally for his own protection. He said it was nevr about sexual obsession, although he does feel that too. He said it was just that I was someone he really liked.
The whole thing sucks really, I wish he would just be with me if he feels that way!!! But he said it was totally off the table.
And that just almost broke my heart.
But he said that in the spirit of the honesty I have taught him, he definitely sees no permanent future because of the logistical issues and he would never allow himself to fall in love with me for that reason so can only ever offer me a casual relationship, and that he would keep his distance emotionally for his own protection. He said it was nevr about sexual obsession, although he does feel that too. He said it was just that I was someone he really liked.
The whole thing sucks really, I wish he would just be with me if he feels that way!!! But he said it was totally off the table.
you're in a relationship with yours though 😢
in which case....run.
I'm just saying if you're giving him everything for free, why would he want a relationship with you. Should read Steve Harvey's " act like a lady, think like a man ".I seriously fail to understand this sort of comment.
Those guys that commuted only for sex later to dump the ladies was after that in the first place. Or they don't have anything going for them and gave it up too early. Or could be the girls are terrible in the physical department. Personally I've never been dumped so I wouldn't know for sure. Obviously either the guy or the girl is in the wrong or it wouldn't have ended.
Why would he want a relationship?
EUmm...love...companionship..enjoyment. Is the relatationsship the "price" men pay for sex? Only maybe for a very dumb man and he he was THAT shallow and dumb that he sees a relationship as something to endure to get into my pants then he is not the kinda guy I wanna waste a minute on.
A relationship with me is an honor. Not a booby prize I have to manipulate someone into.
I think ultimately, the guy is just a jackass who wants sex (very badly) off me...and he can keep on waiting till his hair turns grey for that little gift. N
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I have the most complex relationship on and off with a Scorpio guy.
He wanted to date me for a very long time and we dated very briefly last year (September to October) so only 6 dates, and we had a really strong attraction and bond (I am Scorpio too) but I broke it off with him because I felt I was falling in love with him, and he was not looking for a relationship, and I was. He said he was cool with me breaking it off (he was a bit frosty for sure, but said he respected my choice) but...here we are 4 months on and he just will not move on.
He goes through period of a week or two where I don't hear anything, then he send me messages to say that he feels sad he can't see me and he misses me. Then I twig from what he says (he knows things) that he is more or less stalking me online. Then he tells me that what we have means someting, that it's a deep connection and bond and he says he is almost crazy with desire and longing. And he has even come to my house and stuff.
The crazy thing is, he is doing all of this to get me to take him back, as a casual partner. Like he still does not want me as a girlfriend. If I tell him "come on...why do all of this just for sex" he says "it is not just sex it means something" - which is a contradiction because he doesn't want a relationship.
Communicating with him is hard. Periods of openess and honesty are rare. Half the time has has walls up that are hard to penetrate and he is very defensive.
So the part I don't get, is that if you like a girl enough to put all this work into her...why would you not want to treat her right and give her a relationship? I don't want to be somebody's booty call here!
I thought (being a Scorpio myself) that we were the kind of people who didn't waste time on casual flings...but are Scorpio men capable of....well...wanting to have sex with a girl so badly they would do all of this?
I feel confused?!