Invited to the whole Sub/Dom lifestyle ...

And I am feeling a bit overwhelmed as to where to begin. I have always enjoyed the kinkier side of sex. One of my earliest experiences with porn was Housewives at Play! It has taken a while for me to truly open up and shed my hang-ups on the matter, and I am ready to fully explore my submissive tendencies. Recently, a friend of mine a cappie opened up the life style to me, its different when I have read it and those 50 shades books, believe me my hair stood up not because of fear but some awkwardly raw excitement.

I really want to explore this more, so if there are any experienced doms or subs out there who can direct me to ANYTHING that is enlightening for a novice, it would bee deeply appreciated. I keep finding my way to more intense BDSM sites, or sites that feature degradation in a slave/master context, and I am just not ready for that level of dedication. Personal anecdotes would also be helpful - how did you realize your needs? How did you begin to approach satisfying them?

I have a friend I grew up with who is a sub. He's known since he was 8. He used to tease and annoy me to no end just so I would chase him and scratch the crap out of him. We've had some very interesting conversations concerning it, and I've tried to understand what it is about it that makes him tick that way. He truly adores women, thinks they are superior, and loves to be torn down by one, so long as she builds him back up. The closest I've come to understanding it, so far, is that part of it is an enjoyment of being degraded, and part of it is an addiction to the newest part of any relationship, and the being torn down, only to be built back up plays into that.

Personally, I can't stand the whole degradation aspect to it all, so it's not for me. I couldn't dish it out without having a severe hatred for that person, and I wouldn't enjoy receiving that sort of treatment, either.

Reading a book now called the submissive by tara sue me 3 part series it has raise my inquisitive side as well.

If I decide to it I plan on starting off slow. I'm only submissive in the bedroom anyhow 😉

I think this has to do with my venus.
which need balance.
I don't understand dom/sub..
If someone is overly aggressive I let them start it up and play sub but I usually end up on cowboy choking them lol.
If their really aggressive i'll be slapping them.

The overly aggressive doms like it a lot.

Which I guess makes you question what is sub/dom.

I guess their are people who are strict dom/sub..
Ive never met anyone who is.

Posted by Rambunctious76

Posted by warmwaters
I think this has to do with my venus.
which need balance.
I don't understand dom/sub..
If someone is overly aggressive I let them start it up and play sub but I usually end up on cowboy choking them lol.
If their really aggressive i'll be slapping them.

LOL you just described a switch. That's one of my tactics I use for drawing the inner domme out of any woman I'm intimate with. But I only use it on those who give me those vibes.

click to expand

A switch.
LOL @ that term.
Are most people switches then?

I don't know much about the world of bdsm

Do people take bddsm seriously? Or is it a form a merrymaking?

I find this image really hot.
I like tying or being tied up.
Also masks because the idea of anonymous sex..

What would think be considered?

Posted by chococream
And I am feeling a bit overwhelmed as to where to begin. I have always enjoyed the kinkier side of sex. One of my earliest experiences with porn was Housewives at Play! It has taken a while for me to truly open up and shed my hang-ups on the matter, and I am ready to fully explore my submissive tendencies. Recently, a friend of mine a cappie opened up the life style to me, its different when I have read it and those 50 shades books, believe me my hair stood up not because of fear but some awkwardly raw excitement.

I really want to explore this more, so if there are any experienced doms or subs out there who can direct me to ANYTHING that is enlightening for a novice, it would bee deeply appreciated. I keep finding my way to more intense BDSM sites, or sites that feature degradation in a slave/master context, and I am just not ready for that level of dedication. Personal anecdotes would also be helpful - how did you realize your needs? How did you begin to approach satisfying them?

wait are you a porn star?

That's really cool wtf.

yeah I agree with sexuality being fluid.
ime..
Yah I heard about masters taking their slaves for walks at the park.
This is a crazy city tho..

Posted by phohawk
fetlife

i'm sand on there.

ill go look it up 🙂

Posted by Rambunctious76

Posted by phohawk
fetlife

i'm sand on there.

OP, fetlife would be a great place to start. I've been there since 2011 and the creepage level is VERY minimal.

They have useful links and group discussions for various areas of kink that you can read up on. Go sign up with fetlife, look for phohawk as sand, and myself as Mx_Exotramp.

click to expand

awesome ... ill go check your suggestions

Posted by DonJohnson
this is very interesting.

are you going to fetish/swingers clubs?

not really sure.. i have to do my research.

Posted by DonJohnson
i've known 2 dominatrix girls...... they were sub in their own time, incidentally. their customers were powerful lawyers and CEO's, dominant in their professions. l o l

interesting dynamics.

the cappie friend that told me about it last night, said he started of was a sub and now his a dom. Im pretty much a dom my whole life and at everything (relationships, work everything) so Ive always want to submit but havent found that yet soo..

Posted by DonJohnson
if you're leo rising. strong. bold. leadership. but your 8th house will be pisces. soooooooo...... you'll be sub in private.

i'm a saggitarius rising with 8th house in leo. so i'm pretty much dominant in both.

click to expand

my rising is Virgo and my 8th house is Aries, Im a novice at astrology really... before dxp all I know is my sun sign.

Posted by warmwaters

Posted by chococream
And I am feeling a bit overwhelmed as to where to begin. I have always enjoyed the kinkier side of sex. One of my earliest experiences with porn was Housewives at Play! It has taken a while for me to truly open up and shed my hang-ups on the matter, and I am ready to fully explore my submissive tendencies. Recently, a friend of mine a cappie opened up the life style to me, its different when I have read it and those 50 shades books, believe me my hair stood up not because of fear but some awkwardly raw excitement.

I really want to explore this more, so if there are any experienced doms or subs out there who can direct me to ANYTHING that is enlightening for a novice, it would bee deeply appreciated. I keep finding my way to more intense BDSM sites, or sites that feature degradation in a slave/master context, and I am just not ready for that level of dedication. Personal anecdotes would also be helpful - how did you realize your needs? How did you begin to approach satisfying them?

wait are you a porn star?

That's really cool wtf.

click to expand

No, I am not a porn star.. 😄

So I have a Cancer rising and my 8th house is Aquarius...

What does that mean?

I just know I like kinky sex and I like to submit fully in the bedroom. Outside the bedroom I like to control 😉

so what are these sites you are talking about lol?

Nope nope nope. Not even my Scorpio Venus/Pluto conjunct Uranus is up for it.

Not that I havent experimented. I tried letting my hubby spank me like crazy with a drumstick once for sh?_ts and giggles.

The next day my ass was completely bruised. I freaked the fuck out and thought that I had internal bleeding and would have to go to the hospital to have legs amputated, etc.

He calmed me down, but yea.... lol I'm really not cut out for BDSM stuff, though it's fascinating to watch.

Actually I kind of want an orgy with everyone wearing Guy Fawkes masks.