Is he being sincere?

So I've been dating around and met some more guys. And one man in particular said to me that he:
"wouldn't be able to satisfy me emotionally because he works soooo much"

A blow off or sincere honesty? And in either case....what to do?

"There is not choice here rather he was blowing you off or being honest keep it moving with this, why even question it..."

or

You can just have him satisfy you physically when you are in the mood....🙂

"i don't think that being busy or even a workaholic can affect your sincerity as far as feelings are concerned although i can see that people like that may want to make a proviso for not being around much - if you are the needy type.
some people are really into their careers often to the detriment of their relationships because their devotion to their jobs is seen as them placing it at a higher priority than the person they are in a relationship with."



yeah you're right Roxi. And I responded to him by saying that in my opinion, it's about communication more than anything. And that I didnt expect to be under him 24/7 and that I wasn't the type of girl that expected to have every second of a man's time. I also went on to say to him that if he wasnt feeling me, I would rather him say so instead of blaming it on work. I don't consider myself the needy type...I definitely need my space as well...

It's frustrating because all of the men that I meet are saying the same things. It feels like I have to pretty much wait a few years to meet a guy that is ready for (and willing) to work on something more serious with a woman.

I'm starting to see why so many women opt for FWB situations. That seems to be all a girl can get these days.

"one thing i don't get with FWB or buddies is that unless you both have more than one on the go - it's a relationship isnt it? "

yeah that's how I see it too. In my opinion, it's just an easy way out when one party knows from the start that they are gonna want out. And I guess that neither party can question who the other person is sleeping with on the side either.

Its usually the women who are the ones who arent fucking anyone else in the 'relationship'.

Well being a women that has had a few FWB's...I find them to be exciting....you are not judging them you are there for one reason and that is to be satisfied....

You walk away with you feelings and emotions intact at all times...some people can and some people can't do it...it is not something that I would advise at the start if you can't handle it.

Roxi

"maybe it's a term for comittment-phobes because they simply can't utter the
word 'relationship'.

It would be also safe to say not ready for a commitment.

SouthernT
"It's frustrating because all of the men that I meet are saying the same things. It feels like I have to pretty much wait a few years to meet a guy that is ready for (and willing) to work on something more serious with a woman."

I always believe that if more than 3 people say the samething then it must be true. With that said the guys you are meeting are not ready for a relationship they are putting there careers first...but trust me when I say...they are sleeping with someone...they have FWB and they might just be looking for a new friend that is willing to give them a different type of sexually pleasure, because when you are single like that that it is an open air market of game playing.

But look at it like this at least they are being honest enough to tell you and are not leading you on....

I agree sincere or not. They arent leading you on. In the need it will only be your fault if you feel the need to 'complain' about the setup.


Dont settle for anything less than what your worth.

*in the end

This brings to a recent conversation I had with my twin DK (Why cant we be like the animals). I was watching Planet Earth the other night on the Discovery channel. It showed the birds of paradise and countless other animals. If you saw how hard the males were working to catch the attention of the women....it got me thinking.

The narrator said, "Millions of years of CHOOSY women, led to the evolution of the elaborate males"

What the hell happened to the human species....in particular the women??

"The narrator said, "Millions of years of CHOOSY women, led to the evolution of the elaborate males"

"What the hell happened to the human species....in particular the women??"

We grew up and got wiser.

Not according to the countless number of posts I read on here daily.

I think it's a blow-off. If you are into someone, how long does it take to say a few nice, sincere words?

LadyM
"Not according to the countless number of posts I read on here daily."

LMAO know that's funny....let me rephrase.....

Some of us grew up and got wiser...how's that

We humans think in very different ways and what's good for some may not be good for others...so why knock what a person like or does...every action has a reaction or a consequence behind it.

"ScorpionLady--We humans think in very different ways and what's good for some may not be good for others...so why knock what a person like or does...every action has a reaction or a consequence behind it."

Dito!! 🙂 Don't knock a person for going after what they need or want. At least they are doing one VERY important thing. And that is: They are being honest with THEMSELVES, which avoids alot of other situations down the road.

"ScorpionLady--but trust me when I say...they are sleeping with someone...they have FWB and they might just be looking for a new friend that is willing to give them a different type of sexually pleasure, because when you are single like that that it is an open air market of game playing."

Yeah...That's what I've learned. And that's were jelousy creeps in just a little bit. Because it's kinda seems like they will end up being in a committed relationship eventually. BUT at the same time, I've never heard of a FWB situation turning into a commitment.

So is it true then? The way a man starts out with a woman is the way it will be throughout the entire course of the friendship/relationship (whatever you want to call it...) If you start out with an understanding of FWB, then that's the way it will be the whole time...or if you start out with an understanding that you want a committment...then that's the way it will be.

Myabe my point was missed.

But alot of these women, especially the FWB ones, ARE NOT being honest with themselves.


LOL @ SB

Elaborate🙂

"We humans think in very different ways and what's good for some may not be good for others...so why knock what a person like or does...every action has a reaction or a consequence behind it."

Its true, but some could take a lesson from others.
but as I said before....

"Dont accept anything less than what your worth"...but then again many people need to figure out their true worth 🙂

you know, there seems to be an age gap between married men and single men. When I say that this is what I've observed: If a guy doesnt end up committed or married in his early or mid 20's then he wont commit and marry until his mid 30's at the earliest. I either see men already married by their mid 20's who ended up with their highschool/college sweethearts. But in their late 20's to early 30's they all claim to not be "looking for anything serious".

"LADY M--But alot of these women, especially the FWB ones, ARE NOT being honest with themselves."

Right, that's my point too. When you're not honest with yourself, you end up in situations that you didnt want from the jumpt. So I can't knock a man for being honest and saying that he's not looking for a commitment. Because later on down the line, he would start to resent the woman he is with, because he never wanted to be there in the first place.

But the problem that women run into, me for example, is we end up alone for EXTENDED periods of time because we don't want a FWB situation. And that loneliness starts to take it's toll. And that's when a woman has a moment of weakness and ends up in a FWB situation and begins to lie to herself by saying that she can keep her emotions out of it. I'm not saying that's it right or wrong...(it's definitley NOT for me...) but I'm starting to understand how women can do that now.

SouthernT

"So is it true then? The way a man starts out with a woman is the way it will be throughout the entire course of the friendship/relationship (whatever you want to call it...) If you start out with an understanding of FWB, then that's the way it will be the whole time...or if you start out with an understanding that you want a committment...then that's the way it will be."

The downside with FWB is, someone WILL grow feelings you can't get around it. And I do believe that FWB can possibly turn into a relationship.

Here's my thinking....

I meet a guy we start kicking it he calls and invite me out to whatever I go the night ends...and he says you want to go to my place...I'm feeling good got a buzz on not ready to end the night of course I will come to your house.

Why go to his house?

I want to know where he lives, I like to see if he is clean or not...I want to have sex with him cuz he got me excited so know I want to know what he is working with.

Some might say it was never discuss but it was, you have sex....go home never discuss it again but he keeps calling and asking you out or just wanting to spend time with you....you may think it's for sex and a lot of the times it is...but you can change that....if he is coming to see you, or vise versa you can communicate before the act....that is when you let him know, will this be FWB?...Do you want something from this? yada yada yada....he is either going to tell the truth, or tell you want you want to hear, it is then up to you as to whether you want to continue or not.

but what I would do is not call him...after the first sex act let him call you...hell I don't even ask for the number I wait until he ask for he or he gives me his but then a lot of time I don't want his number that way I don't have to do all the calling you are puting the ball in his court...you are not always available...you don't answer half the time...you then let them chase after you....if they want you they will if not then they will move on.....

So to answer your questions....Yes I think that is the way men do things....they want to know what they are getting just like a women. Some men want a freak in the bed before they want the lady in the street. So already know they have a lady but want to see the the freaky side....I personally want to know what I am getting....I am not settling for a man that is not good in the bed.

Again this is what I believe.

HA! Not for you LOL

"ScorpionLady---> And I do believe that FWB can possibly turn into a relationship."

Interesting twist here...I've always heard that sex can "get" a man but that sex won't "keep" a man. I'll need to think about this some more...




"ScorpionLady--->but what I would do is not call him...after the first sex act let him call you...hell I don't even ask for the number I wait until he ask for he or he gives me his but then a lot of time I don't want his number that way I don't have to do all the calling you are puting the ball in his court...you are not always available...you don't answer half the time...you then let them chase after you....if they want you they will if not then they will move on....."

This is different too. I always thought that whether a man stays around or not has NOTHING to do with sex. I'll have to re-evaluate this as well...

SouthernT

"Interesting twist here...I've always heard that sex can "get" a man but that sex won't "keep" a man. I'll need to think about this some more..."

I don't go by what I (HEARD ABOUT) when it come to dealing with men. I go by what I feel and want to do and what I know. And I always keep in mind that any decision I make I must live with.


"This is different too. I always thought that whether a man stays around or not has NOTHING to do with sex. I'll have to re-evaluate this as well..."

I beg the differ..Sex plays a serious part in whether a man stick around or not...

How can it not?

Ask yourself would you REALLY stay with a man that did not satisfy you in bed...

Be Honest.

SouthernT

Why don't you stop evaluating things so much and just try being a little spontaneious in dating

"ScorpionLady--->Why don't you stop evaluating things so much and just try being a little spontaneious in dating"

Think you misunderstood me. I am evaluating MY mindset and beliefs and how far my original beliefs have gotten me in dating. (or lackthereof) I'm not pondering situations, but rather MY approach and how I think vs. the way it affects my approach when it comes to men and dating.

But in TOTAL honesty, I feel that FWB is for the birds...I've only been in that situation once before and that back in college and I had never even heard of the term and didnt realize that I was even in that type of situation until it was over. Turned out that he had a girlfriend the entire time and I (unknowingly) was the "other woman" for 2 years. There are no words to describe how sick I felt after finding out that #1) that a man will lie to that extent just to get what he wants and #2) knowing that a man will sleep with a woman for that long and not develop any feelings towards her. So this is why I look at FWB with a sour face.

"Starfish--->I rather have some lonely moments then dealing with a broken heart for months bc I gave into some FWB mess and it left me feeling f*ucked up.."

My sentiments as well.

"ScoprionLady--->Why don't you stop evaluating things so much and just try being a little spontaneious in dating"

Being spontaneious and not asking questions about a man's intentions back in college left me broken hearted and distorted my view of sex. Thats why.

Are you upset Starfish225....

Did you have a bad FWB experience?

People go into FWB with the wrong expectations and that's why they end up being fucked up and coming on these boards crying about why the man who never said you and him was an item has not called in days.

And I am knocking how you feel although it is so 1950....

Well I wish you much happiness in your search for the right man.

Well if you are worth it to him he will hang around until time tells

"ScorpionLady--->I beg the differ..Sex plays a serious part in whether a man stick around or not...How can it not?Ask yourself would you REALLY stay with a man that did not satisfy you in bed... Be Honest."

Of course it's every woman's dream to end up with a guy that makes our toes curl in the bedroom. HOWEVER, this should not be a deal breaker necessarily. A woman's priorities are out of place if she is basing her decision on this factor. "D*ck" doesnt hold you at night.... "D*ck* doesnt pay the bills...."D*ck" isnt there for you during the good and the bad....."D*ck" doesnt satisfy emotional needs....."D*ck" doesnt do a whole slew of things.....The only thing it does is what it's made to do. SCREW.

I would say that sex is 99% of everything. Think about it. We work our asses off to make loads of money to afford an impressive car and house. We try to get an education to be seen as smart because no woman wants a stupid man. And then we even buy expensive molten lava that's been hardened into a crystal diamond because nothing says love like a polished lump of coal.

We do all that to get laid. It's easier for men though because we don't need to feel close as much as women do normally. We just need to cum once in a while that's all.

Oh yea and I forgot. The other 1% is about love and romance and bla bla.

"Michael--->Oh yea and I forgot. The other 1% is about love and romance and bla bla."

ya know....sometimes I wish that I had the mindset of a man. 🙂

"A woman's priorities are out of place if she is basing her decision on this factor"

"D*ck" doesnt hold you at night"
No it does not you hold it.

"D*ck* doesnt pay the bills
Well you might want to consult the prositutes, whores and sluts about that...

"D*ck" isnt there for you during the good and the bad
I believe it is...When you get married is sex not part of the honeymoon? (a good thing right? and When you have an argument (bad thing) make up sex is the BOMB!!

"D*ck" doesnt satisfy emotional needs
How about we ask the women that get bitchy and there face breakout when they are not getting it on a regular.

The one thing it does do is help create a life (a good thing) it also makes a man and a women feel.


"HOWEVER, this should not be a deal breaker necessarily"

Again maybe it is for the hookers, sluts whores etc.

I was joking I really don't feel that way. I'm just here for people to laugh at. It's tough but it has to be done. I'm a one woman man as soon as she gets her ass out of Spain! 😛

If you want to undertand how we think then take a look at archer's topic on the "Jokes" board. It's called "Men are from Mars..."

It's pretty accurate for single men. Not the dedicated ones though. As funny as it is that's really how we think!

"If you want to undertand how we think then take a look at archer's topic on the "Jokes" board. It's called "Men are from Mars..."

Those were freakin' hysterical! My God...how do you guys not drive yourselves nuts obsessing over sex so much?

Siren, I'm sure you're the same way. In fact I know women are the same way. They just get away from it because we have a lower breaking point and usually ask for sex before the woman does then she can just pretend it was our idea.

I guess. I tend to focus on one person, though. I mean, I can notice a hot man on the street or something, but he most likely won't end up in a sexual fantasy of mine. My "leading men" in the fantasy dept. are always the same. Men seem to have a rather large cast. Co-workers, exes, the girl who works at the bank, etc. 🙂

I used to be that way but was still serious about them and it usually never got sexual because I'm a prude plus I was pretty fat then but I just told everyone that I had "high standards".

LMAO! A Scorp prude? I believe that means you're certifiable.

I am too. I got registered at MIKEFAX so you know what you get too. I got a lot of miles but I'm sturdy, reliable, and cheap.

Siren, what te fuck am I talking about?

Good marketing strategy! Is there a payment plan?

I'm currently listed in the 100-125 blowjobs a month with only 500 penetrations down and you get 1000 fucks cash back.

I knew all that "prude" talk was B.S.

😛

Hey just like you said. We need it just like we need food. No time to wear the prude mask in this life.

Yes, but I thought you disagreed with me. As far as women were concerned anyway.