is it possible to dump someone tactfully? (Page 2)

You guys are aware that R1g isn't even a woman, must less a mother, much less a crab's girlfriend.

She is a 14 yr old Swedish boy living in his/her mother's basement. :~)

When a crab gets a hold of a scorp woman, they won't let go of her (or her threads).

If the crab ever makes threat to R1g or to her daughter that R1g actually feels actually threatened by, it would probably be more dangerous for crab-cakes than for R1g.

projecting victmhood, making judgmental snide remarks, etc., is why some scorps do not care much for crabmeat

We should seriously freak out and create drama, then R1g will be so impressed and moved by that

purrrr....i appreciate your comments and i mean that sincerely. i need people like you to 'shake' me into doing something cos i realise that i'm so emotionally detached from life generally that i can easily become a doormat and i can see now that i'm in danger of doing just that. i've brushed off nearly everything he's said to me...including that threat last night that if i cheated on him 'you'll be fucked around here for good'. i'm just trying to kick a lifetime habit of putting someone's feelings before my own and now it seems i'm putting his feelings ahead of my daughter's too and i can't have that.

this has all made me quite sick this week. i'm very prone to stress and i'm feeling that in my guts right now....virgo rising, lol. i can't deal with drama cos my health's not up to it.

i had the weirdest dream that it was the end of the world and there were missiles crashing into the earth all around me and my daughter and my fiercely protective maternal side kicked in and i could only think about her safety. fortunately i woke up early from the dream but i definitely think there was something subconscious going on....something reminding me that she's my only priority here in spain. (i do have a son too but he lives with his father).

R24! I was wondering why I couldn't see your post. Obviously a delete issue. What gives? I haven't been around.

i like people who shoot from the hip 🙂

I have seen a lot of your threads and it always sounds like you LOVE to be the victim and act like these things just " happen " to you.

Like your ego gets a huge boost from abusive/mentally ill men stalking you and wanting you. Than that way you don't look as nuts as them.

right now i just want to stay away from him. i start a new job on monday and so i'll be too busy to see anyone for the foreseeable and the weekends are always about my daughter anyway. it may be the coward's way out but i figure that if i'm genuinely unavailable for long enough it'll piss him off and he won't WANT to see me. he's very capable of switching his emotions off completely and cutting people off. i witnessed him doing that with his ex when i first started seeing him. she decided she wanted him back and he just said he'd met someone else so he was no longer interested and then blocked her from contacting him.

Posted by Sag89
I have seen a lot of your threads and it always sounds like you LOVE to be the victim and act like these things just " happen " to you.

Like your ego gets a huge boost from abusive/mentally ill men stalking you and wanting you. Than that way you don't look as nuts as them.

oh yeah...weird shit happens to me all the time so i must draw it towards me somehow. doesn't mean i love it though.

plus my ego needs no boost...trust me!! i'm a supremely confident woman 🙂

Posted by HouseCleaning
did anyone see things would fall apart?

Everyone did, its been going on for months now.
You may be able to pick up some older threads.

Posted by AreTwoFour
When a crab gets a hold of a scorp woman, they won't let go of her (or her threads).

If the crab ever makes threat to R1g or to her daughter that R1g actually feels actually threatened by, it would probably be more dangerous for crab-cakes than for R1g.

projecting victmhood, making judgmental snide remarks, etc., is why some scorps do not care much for crabmeat

LMAO, why would he let go when she is not leaving?

Let's not bring ego into this by claiming the crab should fear the scorp.
When we know full well if the two went toe to toe a male is more likely to drop a female by brute force.

If she feels her life and the life of her child is in danger she should pull all the stops.

If telling a scorp to either shit or get off the pot is a reason for their distaste for crabs; then I will gladly continue to enjoy the more reasonable members of the zodiac!

Comments weren't at you LM, even though I did speak of cancers in general terms. It was much more personal, so I shouldn't have generalized your sign.

And true, a man would win by brute force. But I'm not sure about battle of wills, or if he would want it to go that far. As a scorp, and observing a few other scorp women, some will rather fight to the death when physically abused, and I notice some taurus women will do this too--after their patience runs out. I will fight back when a man gets physically abusive. So far, none wanted to take it to the death, so they stopped and backed down. The reason I'm still alive I suppose. So it will be bad for me if I meet a guy that has the same attitude and he gets physically abusive. And him. I guess I will be dead and he will go to prison. But abusive men can usually tell and will sever the relationship themselves after that first physical fight cuz they are looking for someone they can bully

CC I understand your problem with "bratty" kids, but you don't know whether or not R1g's daughter is "bratty." And cancers have their own crazy emotions as well as scorps, that's why I fail to understand why so many pop astrologers postulate how great a scorp-cancer pairing should be. IME, it's not.

Posted by PhoenixRising
R24! I was wondering why I couldn't see your post. Obviously a delete issue. What gives? I haven't been around.

(((PR!!!))) I did delete my other profile, I was very pissed about some threads disappearing and biased moderation that is supposed to be non-existent (yeah right). I still hate that, but I am very very attached to some dxp-members (u are one of several) so I returned. I couldn't ice y'all out.

moderators, not moderation

Nice to see you back, R24 🙂


Roxi knows what she's doing. I have full faith she is taking care of what needs to be. She is a survivor of the highest order.

I LOVE you Melly, I always have!

Posted by BigGirlPanties
Nice to see you back, R24 🙂


Roxi knows what she's doing. I have full faith she is taking care of what needs to be. She is a survivor of the highest order.

Thanks BGP! I agree!

Posted by AreTwoFour
Comments weren't at you LM, even though I did speak of cancers in general terms. It was much more personal, so I shouldn't have generalized your sign.

And true, a man would win by brute force. But I'm not sure about battle of wills, or if he would want it to go that far. As a scorp, and observing a few other scorp women, some will rather fight to the death when physically abused, and I notice some taurus women will do this too--after their patience runs out. I will fight back when a man gets physically abusive. So far, none wanted to take it to the death, so they stopped and backed down. The reason I'm still alive I suppose. So it will be bad for me if I meet a guy that has the same attitude and he gets physically abusive. And him. I guess I will be dead and he will go to prison. But abusive men can usually tell and will sever the relationship themselves after that first physical fight cuz they are looking for someone they can bully

Perhaps I am being a bit touchy about this subject.
I have been feeling protective of the Crabs as we get a lot of negative energy on this board.

I understand that there are some really strong and relentless women more than capable of defeating a man physically and psychologically. However, it's not something I would promote unless it was absolutely necessary.

Posted by AreTwoFour
......And cancers have their own crazy emotions as well as scorps, that's why I fail to understand why so many pop astrologers postulate how great a scorp-cancer pairing should be. IME, it's not.

click to expand

We are suppose to understand each others emotions and help each other through them but I find with our environmental sensitivities we take on the impatience of the world and have none for others like us. With my interaction with Cardinal Cancer and Fixed Scorpio is that both want to lead and run the show. Both can't do it, someone has to follow. Cancers are going to initiate and bring new ideals and we expect Scorp to fall in line but it's not their nature to do so. They are fixed and want to do their own thing yet run the show but that doesn't fly with Cancer. I see competition and push pull with this combination when it should be a certain level of understanding and cooperativeness.

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s

Posted by Sag89
I have seen a lot of your threads and it always sounds like you LOVE to be the victim and act like these things just " happen " to you.

Like your ego gets a huge boost from abusive/mentally ill men stalking you and wanting you. Than that way you don't look as nuts as them.

oh yeah...weird shit happens to me all the time so i must draw it towards me somehow. doesn't mean i love it though.

plus my ego needs no boost...trust me!! i'm a supremely confident woman 🙂

click to expand

Than why do attract such shit ppl? lol

Dont put words in my mouth, dearest.

I merely made a comment about my good friend and what I know to be true of her.

Go take a nap.

Ellessque, said something like it on another thread before it got deleted and I believe it was like " you attract what you are focus on that " I just think if you don't want to keep being in these situations you should figure out why you keep ending up in them.

Purr is that you purr hiss? lol

Posted by Purrr

Posted by BigGirlPanties
Dont put words in my mouth, dearest.

I merely made a comment about my good friend and what I know to be true of her.

Go take a nap.

I wasn't talking about you. I'm talking about the chick in the cowboy hat who quoted you.

click to expand

Purrr, not EVERYONE has a victim mentality/lens they see life and relationships through. I'm sure that is shocking, but for real, tho.

Posted by Purrr

Posted by Sag89
Ellessque, said something like it on another thread before it got deleted and I believe it was like " you attract what you are focus on that " I just think if you don't want to keep being in these situations you should figure out why you keep ending up in them.

Yeah, that's not reality, though. It's a nice idea, but it's not that simple.

click to expand

Do you mean cause her narc/victim mentality won't allow it? lol

Posted by Purrr

Posted by AreTwoFour

Posted by Purrr

Posted by BigGirlPanties
Dont put words in my mouth, dearest.

I merely made a comment about my good friend and what I know to be true of her.

Go take a nap.

I wasn't talking about you. I'm talking about the chick in the cowboy hat who quoted you.

Purrr, not EVERYONE has a victim mentality/lens they see life and relationships through. I'm sure that is shocking, but for real, tho.

If only you knew what you were talking about. Typical Scorpio relying on their bullshit "intuition" to come to bullshit conclusions.

click to expand

LOL

Posted by Purrr

Posted by Sag89

Posted by Purrr

Posted by Sag89
Ellessque, said something like it on another thread before it got deleted and I believe it was like " you attract what you are focus on that " I just think if you don't want to keep being in these situations you should figure out why you keep ending up in them.

Yeah, that's not reality, though. It's a nice idea, but it's not that simple.

Do you mean cause her narc/victim mentality won't allow it? lol

I think it's best if I keep my thoughts regarding her state of mind to myself.

click to expand

Well yeah probably best because no one will respect you because you were being honest.

Posted by AreTwoFour
Comments weren't at you LM, even though I did speak of cancers in general terms. It was much more personal, so I shouldn't have generalized your sign.

And true, a man would win by brute force. But I'm not sure about battle of wills, or if he would want it to go that far. As a scorp, and observing a few other scorp women, some will rather fight to the death when physically abused, and I notice some taurus women will do this too--after their patience runs out. I will fight back when a man gets physically abusive. So far, none wanted to take it to the death, so they stopped and backed down. The reason I'm still alive I suppose. So it will be bad for me if I meet a guy that has the same attitude and he gets physically abusive. And him. I guess I will be dead and he will go to prison. But abusive men can usually tell and will sever the relationship themselves after that first physical fight cuz they are looking for someone they can bully

WOW.

LOL @ this thread.

Posted by CluelessCancer
The problem with getting with a person who has kids is that you have to deal with their a $ $ hole kids...that's why i would never deal with a person who already has kids...You walk on eggshells and have no say about anything regarding them and there are some really annoying self centered bratty kids out there...

+1

There is this notion in our Western world that when dealing with kids, there is only one way to do it - and that is whatever the kid feels is right. Like, a woman is suppose to give up her social life every time the kid does not approve of her "male acquaintance". This whole "I'm a mother first, and individual second" mantra is pretty tiresome, no wonder all those born after 1990 are such a spoiled, ignorant little brats and probably will be for the rest of their lives because no one ever told them to "deal with it".

I'm not at all familiar with the conflict here so I'm gonna apologize first, and second - for the love of God, Rig, you said your daughter is a TEENAGER? I thought we were talking about a kid, like some poor impressionable 8-year old! She's a teenager, which basically means she's probably not just an innocent bystander in this drama. Though I gotta admit, you're only as old as the people you bother to get into fights with. In this case, it seems your Crab is a teenager too. LOL

Furthermore - off topic and not necesserily applying to Rig - but when it comes to conflicts of this sort the parent will usually side with their kids, because basically it represents their ego. It's like, 'How dare you speak that way to MY kid'.

Where I come from, kids have no saying in much because they are kids! The mantra is 'deal with it'. There was no 'do as I do', it's 'do as I say', no questions asked. But these days, parents will get into fist-fights with other parents over some stupid playground conflict between their respective kids.

And as we all know, us Cancers (Moon) just luuuuuuuw to be "general" about things 😛

Posted by AreTwoFour
When a crab gets a hold of a scorp woman, they won't let go of her (or her threads).

If the crab ever makes threat to R1g or to her daughter that R1g actually feels actually threatened by, it would probably be more dangerous for crab-cakes than for R1g.

projecting victmhood, making judgmental snide remarks, etc., is why some scorps do not care much for crabmeat

Too true, that's why it's so surprising when they encourage that and then whine about it. Then you realize they're not really mysterious and passionate, they just need major attention to feel like they exist. And then the scorpiness ends up rhyming with patheticness.

Posted by mr.crabby

Posted by AreTwoFour
When a crab gets a hold of a scorp woman, they won't let go of her (or her threads).

If the crab ever makes threat to R1g or to her daughter that R1g actually feels actually threatened by, it would probably be more dangerous for crab-cakes than for R1g.

projecting victmhood, making judgmental snide remarks, etc., is why some scorps do not care much for crabmeat

Then you realize they're not really mysterious and passionate, they just need major attention to feel like they exist. And then the scorpiness ends up rhyming with patheticness.

click to expand

Haha

Posted by CluelessCancer
The problem with getting with a person who has kids is that you have to deal with their a $ $ hole kids...that's why i would never deal with a person who already has kids...You walk on eggshells and have no say about anything regarding them and there are some really annoying self centered bratty kids out there...

that is absolutely what he says!! he said it was his biggest reservation when meeting me...that and me having a dog, lol!! i have to give it to him that he tried damn hard with my daughter initially and she IS a spoilt brat which i take full responsibility for. i told him that it's hard for ME to bite my tongue with her sometimes and so for someone of his age who's never had kids, it's nigh on impossible. he says that if she talks to him like shit, he'll give shit back to her just as he would anyone else. again, i can understand that but nevertheless, when he's drunk he has absolutely no filter and THAT'S what i can't expose her to.

yeah i kinda like the idea of OvS bein' my hitman 😛

bling: i had a similar scenario this time last year with a psycho sag. i kept a record of all his loony threats via text, email, voicemail and facebook...translted them all into spanish and took 'em to the cops.

it's rather worrying how many fruit loops i attract. must be one myself! 😢

having said that, i do think that alot of this is caused by my ability to completely detach emotionally....that's what makes the men i see go crazy for sure. at least i recognise the trigger for that behaviour but i now have to work on preventing it from happening again.

I love how so many people love to pass judgment and diagnose Roxi for her choice in this situation.

Like ya'll ain't never been in a unhealthy relationship that you couldn't let go of for one reason or another?

Glass house owners. Ppfftt!

No they're they're not necessary. Really, how many people do you know have actually left a toxic relationship cus Seraph, or BGP or Brad Pitt said to do so?

Pain is her, and my and everyone's motivator for change. We can offer her support and love, instead of criticism and judgement.

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
yeah i kinda like the idea of OvS bein' my hitman 😛

bling: i had a similar scenario this time last year with a psycho sag. i kept a record of all his loony threats via text, email, voicemail and facebook...translted them all into spanish and took 'em to the cops.

it's rather worrying how many fruit loops i attract. must be one myself! 😢

it's a not so well known fact that the ancient greek translation of Scoprio is "he who attracts those with mental illness with ease and frequency."

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
yeah i kinda like the idea of OvS bein' my hitman 😛

bling: i had a similar scenario this time last year with a psycho sag. i kept a record of all his loony threats via text, email, voicemail and facebook...translted them all into spanish and took 'em to the cops.

it's rather worrying how many fruit loops i attract. must be one myself! 😢

Being a doormat will do that. Allowing estrogen to make your decisions in life will do that. It's why your daughter treats you like she does, and so do the men in your life. Get a pair, chica. It'll get better when you do.

Posted by BigGirlPanties
I love how so many people love to pass judgment and diagnose Roxi for her choice in this situation.

Like ya'll ain't never been in a unhealthy relationship that you couldn't let go of for one reason or another?

Glass house owners. Ppfftt!

click to expand

Because none of us have been there and aren't speaking from experience or anything...

Inability to see the bigger picture, pfft!

Posted by seraph

Posted by BigGirlPanties
No they're they're not necessary. Really, how many people do you know have actually left a toxic relationship cus Seraph, or BGP or Brad Pitt said to do so?

Pain is her, and my and everyone's motivator for change. We can offer her support and love, instead of criticism and judgement.

She started this thread looking for help. Which might also include things she doesn't necessarily want to hear.

I'm not about coddle, enable, or otherwise bullshit her. I'm not about pity-parties. Others might be, but I'm certainly not.

If she doesn't want people to be straight-up and honest with her, she has the option of not posting.

click to expand

you know i love ya bgp but seraph's right. i can take your amount of ear-bashing otherwise i wouldn't make threads. different opinions are all part of the rich tapesty of life.

i have to accept that my emotional detachment leaves a 'welcome' sign on my forehead. i'm not a doormat but by not really giving a fuck, i come across as one for sure.

i saw him tonight briefly. interesting series of events. definite impasse on both sides but i don't want to get into detail. it seems to be a mutual thing....superficially at least. i'm just gonna be getting on with work this week and i'm a total workaholic so i won't have room for much else. i don't want to see him as a lover any more. that's for sure.

yeah he probs did think he could manipulate me but what happened last night changed the whole dynamic as far as both of us are concerned. like i said, i would rather not go into detail but i think we're both done now.

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
yeah he probs did think he could manipulate me but what happened last night changed the whole dynamic as far as both of us are concerned. like i said, i would rather not go into detail but i think we're both done now.

Whatever it was that took place rig...always remember it's actions that have a most definite impact than words. In some cases complete inaction. 😉

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
i saw him tonight briefly. interesting series of events. definite impasse on both sides but i don't want to get into detail. it seems to be a mutual thing....superficially at least. i'm just gonna be getting on with work this week and i'm a total workaholic so i won't have room for much else. i don't want to see him as a lover any more. that's for sure.

he made you jealous, didn't he...

Posted by shellshocker

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
i saw him tonight briefly. interesting series of events. definite impasse on both sides but i don't want to get into detail. it seems to be a mutual thing....superficially at least. i'm just gonna be getting on with work this week and i'm a total workaholic so i won't have room for much else. i don't want to see him as a lover any more. that's for sure.

he made you jealous, didn't he...

click to expand

no he didn't.