My bf/kids father has a soulmate and it's not me.

I'm freaking out and need advice. I think my scorpio bf who is the father to our 1 year old kid is still in love with his ex. Either that or he's still obsessed with her. When we met we hooked up right away and I got pregnant. I didn't know till after our kid was born that he had been in a relationship with his ex and they had a big fight and I guess the night they broke up he met me and we hooked up. From my understanding they had a huge fall out after that. She left him and changed all contact info with him.

But I could tell he still thought of her all the time. Like daily sometimes. He was trying to do what's right with me and our kid but it's like she never fully leaves his mind or heart. Last year this time he contacted her again. He was acting weird so I looked at his phone and saw all the times he called her and a text convo. It seems like he was trying to make good with her on their past. She actually seemed very nonchalant about it. I can tell she doesn't trust him anymore. I let that one go. Then a few months later we ran into her at a party. The two of them had this energy going on. They were magnetic to one another. I mean seriously everyone could feel it. It was the way he looked at her the way he reached out to her. He eyes will tell you everything you need to know. They way he stared at her across the room told me something was there, he was always positioned towards her too or near her. When other guys talked to her he would just stare and watch what was going on. I never seen him like that. I mean he's protective of me but it was different with her. She wasn't doing anything to make him jealous either. She really did her own thing and she was nice. (She's a tough person to read) He pulled away from me that night too. He was avoiding sex from me later that night.

So I just found out he still talks to her. Friendly talks but I know he loves her still. He's been trying to go up and see her.. Which may I add she lives 2 hours away from us! He's been persistent on going to see her (again I found out by checking up on him).

I love him and it's hard for me. I thought being his family he would leave his past for good. One night when we were out I brought her up and I asked what it was about her. He said he just knew the first time he ever saw her she belonged to him. Like he knew she was the one. He then realized what he just told me and then he tried to cover it up like it was nothing. Is this normal for a scorpio? Will he ever let he

Will he ever let her go or should I just let him go? Try to raise our kid as mutual as can be. I love him and our child so much but it's unbearable at times when she's still on his mind or when he talks to her. He doesn't regret his kid of course but sometimes I wonder if it's her he wishes he had the kid with.

I need help please. It's been over 2 years since they were together. I have no one to talk too, my friends and family don't know about her at all.

No bullshit, but your in deep doodoo. When other people can feel the attraction, when his gaze wont waiver, fuck when he doesnt want sex. He is conflicted. He wants to do the right thing by his child and he always will. You are a different story. He loves you, but is obsessed with her.

i remembered writing on a blog about whether I would be worried about an ex who kept keepsaktes. I am never bothered by letters, gifts, or any othrr tangible thing. I am always worried about what I can see, hear, listen 2. The thoughts are what worries me. The fantasies, the imprinted memories.

your ill matched and your blog hits home for me.

Well, even if he still has feelings for her, he can stay loyal to you. Of course, he may not be completely happy....also, with his texting and stuff, if he has the chance to cheat with her then I think he would. Therefore, maybe loyal until a chance appears with her? If his behavior is making you unhappy and staying with you is making him unhappy, then maybe you should reconsider having a relationship with him. If he cares for his kid, he'll remain in his/her life. From the info you gace, I just feel like he'll never truly be yours and he's mainly staying for the kid, anyway, and the fact that he can't get back with his ex. So, how much does he actually like you, anyway? I wouldn't be able to trust him to not cheat when he acts like that. Kids are a touchy subject but as I've said, if he loves the kid, he'll do his best for him/her and still be able to be a good parent even if he's not with you. This would give both of you a chance to find someone who cares deeply and that you can trust.

hats off to him for finding his soulmate

Posted by HouseCleaning
hats off to him for finding his soulmate

oddly romantic

Posted by DMV
He wants to do the right thing by his child and he always will. You are a different story.

This.

Posted by Coral1234
I'm freaking out and need advice. I think my scorpio bf who is the father to our 1 year old kid is still in love with his ex. Either that or he's still obsessed with her. When we met we hooked up right away and I got pregnant. I didn't know till after our kid was born that he had been in a relationship with his ex and they had a big fight and I guess the night they broke up he met me and we hooked up. From my understanding they had a huge fall out after that. She left him and changed all contact info with him.

You screwed him the same night you met him. Take responsibility for that choice.

No sympathy at all. My guess is you are now going to use the CHILD as emotional blackmail when he gets back with the ex. I'd bet my house on it. The way you threw the word "kid" around one would think you gave birth to a damn goat. My sympathy goes to that child. Use your head, and stop being so desperate to the next guy that gives you attention by whipping his dick out and familiarize yourself to the term LADY. smfh

Kill him in his sleep.

Posted by LetltB

Posted by Coral1234
I'm freaking out and need advice. I think my scorpio bf who is the father to our 1 year old kid is still in love with his ex. Either that or he's still obsessed with her. When we met we hooked up right away and I got pregnant. I didn't know till after our kid was born that he had been in a relationship with his ex and they had a big fight and I guess the night they broke up he met me and we hooked up. From my understanding they had a huge fall out after that. She left him and changed all contact info with him.

You screwed him the same night you met him. Take responsibility for that choice.

No sympathy at all. My guess is you are now going to use the CHILD as emotional blackmail when he gets back with the ex. I'd bet my house on it. The way you threw the word "kid" around one would think you gave birth to a damn goat. My sympathy goes to that child. Use your head, and stop being so desperate to the next guy that gives you attention by whipping his dick out and familiarize yourself to the term LADY. smfh

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That on you too. It's called an abortion. I'm sorry but this is what is ruining the planet. People need to stop having kids with people they aren't in love with. You're ruing the life of that kid and you're life. Jeeze.

Well I will take sag89 route, just keep it moving. Don't stick around for somebody who doesn't want you! Which is the thing that puzzles me with women today?

Posted by VirgoChyld
Well I will take sag89 route, just keep it moving. Don't stick around for somebody who doesn't want you! Which is the thing that puzzles me with women today?

Men can also be stuck on stupid

Will he ever let her go or should I just let him go? Try to raise our kid as mutual as can be.

>>>You are in a really tough spot. I feel for you. And I am amazed that you've been able to remain as calm as you have, given his continued contact with her. I think though, you have to set some boundaries. If he's decided to be with you, he should give it 100% . You can empathize with him, explain that you know its going to be hard, but he owes you the respect to try to live without this woman if he's going to be in a relationship with you.

And he hasn't found his soulmate. If it indeed was a soulmate (whatever the hell that means - and if there is such a thing), what he has done is lost his soulmate. Even proponents of some of the more ridiculous overly romanticized versions of "soulmates" accept that these people are often not meant to be together permanently. He's a Scorpio so it is no surprise that he has a strong emotional bond with this person, felt it from the start intuitively, etc. Scorps can go through alot of these relationships in a lifetime. But if it was that strong, he did all parties a disservice by rushing into intimacy with you. Now he has to face the consequences of that, and one of those is the loss of the relationship with this woman. He has lost her trust, and rightly so, as he seems fairly untrustworthy and sneaky. Sometimes a big breach of trust like this betw. two people that have such a magnetic/passionate attraction, can be even more devastating to their potential for a future relationship - the hurt can go deeper.

Your child's life will not be destroyed because of this. I am a better dad and happier person since my wife left, and she had the same situation. Our love dwindled, we were both unhappy, and she actually cheated with her first love and percieved soulmate. As I was, you're in a good place to make a decision as the child is too young to feel the real pain of a separation. You just need to ask yourself if you really want to be in love with a man who thinks he's in love with someone else. If you set him free to explore things with her, or at least give him that option, there's a good chance he will come to learn that it cannot work (with her).....and maybe that will be a type of closure for him.

First things first I would never get an abortion. I understand what I did and I really tried to make it work with him. Its just hard to make it work with someone who is still in love with another person. But I don't regret my kid with him and its hard to think what if I had just had an abortion. No thats the easy way out. I am a lady regardless of when I choose to have sex with him. Thats not why im on here. To ask if im a lady or not.

Posted by CluelessCancer
For curiosity sake what is your sign, what is her sign?

I don't really know her sign at all. But I am a gemini.

Posted by xcake
Does he love her or was it just the ending and your beginning with him that makes him feel that way, him feeling lost. I mean, considering the timing and all. Sometimes people can be stuck in the past and what could have been, especially if you're the person who were in the wrong. Im guessing they didn't have closure, unresolved emotions.

No I know he really loves her. I know he loves me but I think hes in love with her. I don't know if they had closure though. I know they have talked and hes apologized so I would say yes but even after his apology he still looks for her. I was told from his friend that the closer they got with one another the more insecure he got of losing her. She was everything to him. I guess thats why they first broke up. His insecurity got in the way and they got in a fight.

He's not like that with me. Weve had our fights and I love you so much moments but I know he could live without me. Her... I don't know, even if they didn't ever get back together I feel he would still need her in his life someway. Its been 6 years with the two of them....The truth hurts so much. Especially when you right it out.

Posted by Scenic
Well, even if he still has feelings for her, he can stay loyal to you. Of course, he may not be completely happy....also, with his texting and stuff, if he has the chance to cheat with her then I think he would. Therefore, maybe loyal until a chance appears with her? If his behavior is making you unhappy and staying with you is making him unhappy, then maybe you should reconsider having a relationship with him. If he cares for his kid, he'll remain in his/her life. From the info you gace, I just feel like he'll never truly be yours and he's mainly staying for the kid, anyway, and the fact that he can't get back with his ex. So, how much does he actually like you, anyway? I wouldn't be able to trust him to not cheat when he acts like that. Kids are a touchy subject but as I've said, if he loves the kid, he'll do his best for him/her and still be able to be a good parent even if he's not with you. This would give both of you a chance to find someone who cares deeply and that you can trust.

He is loyal to me and his kid. This is why I am leaning more towards letting him go. I don't want our kid growing up seeing us both like this or his father still thinking what it would have been like if he was still with her. Our child doesn't deserve that at all. I don't know her reasons on why she wont let him come see her, I think shes respecting my relationship with him but honestly what scares me is that if the two of them are together alone something is bound to happen. Emotionally or physically or both. I know what I need to do. Its so hard. I love him too.

Posted by DMV

Posted by VirgoChyld
Well I will take sag89 route, just keep it moving. Don't stick around for somebody who doesn't want you! Which is the thing that puzzles me with women today?

Men can also be stuck on stupid

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Yes they can be lol

Posted by MilkySoft

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio

You are in a really tough spot. I feel for you. And I am amazed that you've been able to remain as calm as you have, given his continued contact with her. .

Ha, you're amazed too. I was going to say, she's clearly not a Taurus. lol


I'm sorry OP. All of what happened between you happened very quickly, I'm sure he's very conflicted inside. Honestly, in this situation I think you're lucky that the guy even wants to be there for the kid. But as far as your relationship, I would let him go to sort out his issues because I can't share a person. I mean, he's already pursuing her while with you.

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I know and theres nothing I can do to stop him.

I think its better to have an honest talk with him about it and let him go to find the soulmate than to end up hating and resenting each other years down the road. As for soulmates: yes they exist and the connection is incredibly magnetic.

Wait a flippin' minute!

Posted by Coral1234
I'm freaking out and need advice. I think my scorpio bf who is the father to our 1 year old kid is still in love with his ex. Either that or he's still obsessed with her. When we met we hooked up right away and I got pregnant. I didn't know till after our kid was born that he had been in a relationship with his ex and they had a big fight and I guess the night they broke up he met me and we hooked up. From my understanding they had a huge fall out after that. She left him and changed all contact info with him. ........

Who says they are soul mates?
Let's not make it deeper than it is.
Firstly, the fact that he had a revenge fuck and made a baby with you the very same night they argue and "break up" is very telling as to his feelings for her. Was there alcohol involved with your first meeting?

That's like the ultimate revenge, screw someone and make them pregnant then throw it in their face.

And now a year later he's contacting her? For what? More revenge to throw it in her face that he is STILL with the woman he chose to make pregnant the night they had a fight.

This Scorp seems shady. Didn't tell you the circumstances of how and why you met!
I guess it wouldn't go over well if he told you, he fucked you out of either revenge or misery.
I would be leery of this dude. He's already shown he can't be trusted to remain loyal to a woman.

Sounds like he's about to use the ex to help him get out of this predicament with you he put himself in.

If he was THAT in love, he would not have allowed you into the picture and kept you in the picture.
He may just need to move on from something he feels guilty about. And the fact that he's probably miserable with his life right now. Being with a women he's not in love with and a kid he didn't plan for. Sounds like a passive aggressive asshole to me.

Have you two discussed marriage?

Now is the time for you to think of yourself and what your needs are.
Do you want a man still "pining" for an ex he wronged?
He can be a father and supportive of you without you two being together in a romantic way.
You need a man who wants you ONLY and who will provide for your family.

Posted by Coral1234 I am a lady regardless of when I choose to have sex with him. Thats not why im on here. To ask if im a lady or not.

No I'm sorry you are not. You may have been raised to think that's ok, but it's not, really.

Posted by May31Baby

This is a sad situation. It seems like you already know what you need to do , and its the same advice i would give you. Let him go. Let him make his mind up fully and completely. I wouldnt be able to live with someone in my life knowing as theyre sitting next to me, shes on his mind. Let him be free to do what his heart wants.

If he does come back, id put my damn foot down. No contact with her. If he wants her, then go for it. If he wants you, then do it.

But he cant have both.

Dont give him both. ...

Im a gemini also.... We are not cowards or weak. Do what you need to do. I think youll be alright either way this goes. Good luck to you

I — this. ^

Posted by Coral1234
He's not like that with me. Weve had our fights and I love you so much moments but I know he could live without me. Her... I don't know, even if they didn't ever get back together I feel he would still need her in his life someway. Its been 6 years with the two of them....The truth hurts so much. Especially when you right it out.

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I seriously doubt that. 🙂

I would venture that quite the opposite is true.

This girl is "the one that got away"-- I have no doubt he has put her on a pedestal and imagines she is 10x greater than she really is.

Still-- there's a lot of good advice here-- I also like what TlS, xcake, and Impulsv said.

Posted by LetltB

Posted by Coral1234 I am a lady regardless of when I choose to have sex with him. Thats not why im on here. To ask if im a lady or not.

No I'm sorry you are not. You may have been raised to think that's ok, but it's not, really.

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Sweet fancy Moses!

The language you use around here would make a sailor blush-- and you're going to tell her that she is not a lady?


LOL

You aren't qualified. 😉

Posted by Montgomery

Sweet fancy Moses!

The language you use around here would make a sailor blush-- and you're going to tell her that she is not a lady?


LOL

You aren't qualified. 😉

Still following me around resentful cunt? Your obsession with me is obvious.
Women like you and this poster understand that language. Upbringing..it's easy to see who lost out on it.

Posted by DMV

Posted by VirgoChyld
Well I will take sag89 route, just keep it moving. Don't stick around for somebody who doesn't want you! Which is the thing that puzzles me with women today?

Men can also be stuck on stupid

click to expand

True

Posted by LetltB

Posted by Montgomery

Sweet fancy Moses!

The language you use around here would make a sailor blush-- and you're going to tell her that she is not a lady?


LOL

You aren't qualified. 😉

Still following me around resentful cunt? Your obsession with me is obvious.
Women like you and this poster understand that language. Upbringing..it's easy to see who lost out on it.

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Hot damn! lol


I didn't think you'd actually do it. 😛


You're waay too easy.


(no pun intended!)

Posted by IrresistableScorp
May I offer another perspective?

I'm speaking in a general scorp sense. Everyone is different.

From very early on in many scorps lives, there is a feeling that somewhere out there is our life mate companion. If we find someone who ticks all the life mate boxes, we will engage full scorp laser- like focus in pursuit and wide open the heart to our deepest emotions.

If it doesn't work out fir some reason, then you have a scorp with a hole in his heart. And unfortunately, the result is a series of superficial relationships that most certainly can up in long term. We don't allow deeper emotions in--even though our bf/gf might think we are. I know its nit fair but the thinking behind this is basically "nothing in life lasts, why waste our time. Live for today."

However if life mate material presents itself again-- well one can be stoic or one can open it up again.

My point is that this has nothing to do with you or anything you did wrong. I don't want to say it will never work out but consider if it does work out with you it may be that you will always get your scorps half love. Sorry. 😢. I could be completely wrong here. Just a thought.

Yep! This is what was running in my head while reading the situation, but you articulated it much better. I've witnessed this very thing, the scorpio finding his life mate.

Posted by Rabbit
Good god.

Is this the Steve Wilkos show?

yes! this is funny because steve wilkos show sucks

@Cora1234,

I guess you have to talk to him what he wants. You have to be ready

for all the negative and positive he may deliver. If you really love him set him free.

He will realize that soon that you do love him that much that's why you give in.

Scorpio will never forget your kindness and your unconditional love just don't nag to him.

Be brave and leave him for your good and the child. I know he will support the child.