Scorp Men don't give up

Okay you guys remember my crazy, possessive and jealous scorp friend who I had to cut off all together? He is back and persuing harder than before, confessing he is in love etc However, we went through some major drama with some unexpected issues of his unbeknowing to me... Long story short, as he has been seriously opening up and persuing lately. Something is intriguing and I again, am entertaining his company... Nothing serious, just friends for now. As crazy as he is, he is very intelligent and has a lot of great charactoristics, and the regular scorp guy sick sense of humor that has opened a new kind of interest.

I am not in love with him or anything, but I recently like having him around. Hmmm, could it be the gifts and the attention?

BTW, two ex libras have reappeared and a long lost bull. When the attention rains it pours. The scorp is busy just as I am, but he makes all this extra effort to see me. He continuously makes me laugh and is so open we have a blast together. However, I stress my problem with his jealous an possessive nature. We are not in a relationship and if we were, that would still be a problem with me. I need to be trused or it aggrevates me.

Thoughts?

"BTW, two ex libras have reappeared and a long lost bull. When the attention rains it pours. Thoughts"

I've had a Scorp, Taurus, and Gemini lover all appear/reappear just within the last few days. Yea, when it rains it pours.

But Im only in this forum checking on some posts. I'm very much a Virgo, so ignore my shared observation with you, Queenie

tollbooth, I actually went on a couple dates with a virgo a month or two ago and my first love was a virgo.

Hey, my first love was also a Virgo ---ME!

I keed, I keed...but seriously, how'd the couple dates go with that last Virg? Reason I'm cruising the scorp board is because of a current (and screechingly halting) relationship with one of you divine creatures.

Scorp/Scorp budoir is intense and passionate. There is more to being involved with someone than sex though. The power struggles. The minipulation of the scorp male into getting his way and the rebelion of the scorp woman, not giving him his way without a compromise is the problem in my experience.

I couldn't agree more. Scorpio male and scorpio female are soooo fantastic when everything is peachy, but when it is stormy, it's explosive. The scorpio man will be such a controller and the female a tough rebel. One HAS to surrender.

I soooo agree. I however, won't be controlled. Funny. I sent him an email about us not being compatible and our differences including control issues. He tried to flip the script that I just like things my way and things don't revolve around me. Mind you until now things have pretty much gone his way on some level, because it wasn't serious, now that I am more interested in something serious, things have changed. He was upset when he responded to the email and basically said, he will do things on his terms. I politely told him this is exactly why we aren't compatible, he needs a submissive woman who will sacrifice ALL her wants and needs to please him. I on the other hand am only too happy to meet someone in the middle, but some of my needs will be met too!

anotherscorp, exactly my point. I stand by that 100% . I guess because we both do, there will always be a clash.

AM, a little late for that comment.. LOL!!!

Rollercoaster rides with scorps can be deadly. Okay guys, my scorp friend and I have gotten really close over the past couple months. He has become and open book. Talking about past relationship with exes his wife (who he has been separated form for 3 years) family etc.

I am getting drawn into him more and more and now I am pulling back because I know there iw no possibility for a future for us in a relationship. It hurts me. It drives him nuts. He won't let me go. He says that knowing me is "the positive" in his life with so much negativity going on.

I really care for him and love him to an extent. He says he is in love with me and knows I need more than he can give me right now and he only wants the best for me... blah, blah, blah... However, he won't let me walk away.

Wierd thing is he has changed his behaviour, took the possessiveness, and controlling waaay down and we have had light fun times. The times we are together. He says he can't imagine anyone else being with me. He is a dedicated father to all three of his children and works very hard and for many hours a day. He isn't available to really date a person and is afraid and not ready for a serious committed relationship but can't let me go.

His wife wants him back, but he said he would be miserable if he went back, but still haven't filed for divorce (daughter involved)so he is in limbo. He admit he loves her, but doesn't like her. He says they haven't been involved for the 3 years they have been separated. She is also psycho in my opinion according to some stories he has told me about her. She threatens him and any female involved with him (doesn't bother me though, that is what jail is for). Anyway...

A little disappointed things aren't different, however for other reasons I know he wouldn't be ideal for the future, but is so good for now. However I know I am going to have to let him go. I have started the wiening process. I just hope I don't create a monster - not wanting to let go, stalking, calling, sending tons of gifts etc. This is one involvement that I know won't agree to being platonic friends once it is finally over.

I will sooooo miss him.

😢

Any insight advice?

By the way his wife is an Aries, boy those fire signs will hold on forever!

He gets extremely emotional with me, which opens my emotions. He is sort of a bad boy turned good boy!!! LOL!!! So he has a very serious expression, but gets all teddy bearish around me (as most scorp guys have serious looks).

He says I touch a part of him waaayyy down deep where no one else has reached. We are so comfortable around eachother and we appreciate eachothers no-nonsence, no game playing bluntness. I hope we can remain friends even after the wiening process, but something is telling me he won't want to because of jealousy. He says he will love me forever no matter who I end up with. This really makes me feel bad.

Without having any current serious prospects at the moment. It makes it so hard to let go, but we both know the longer we go on the harder it will be to end. 😢

"I am not in love with him or anything, but I recently like having him around. Hmmm, could it be the gifts and the attention?"

User. Sounds selfish to me.

But I guess he's asking for it...

🙂

btw, your other comments betray your statements.

You sound like you want to get it on with him except for all the negative flak associated with the "typical male Scorpio."

***"I am not in love with him or anything, but I recently like having him around. Hmmm, could it be the gifts and the attention?"***

This is how I felt then. (check the date)

My recent post is my recent feelings. I have been trying to walk away and in the beginning didn't have as many feelings for him as I have recently because of how close we have gotten recently. We went through a situation that involved others and he stood honest and true to me in that situation that gave me another level of respect for him.

***You sound like you want to get it on with him except for all the negative flak associated with the "typical male Scorpio."***

Explain? And since when have you known any scorps who could be around eachother this long without uhhh getting it on. Already has happened several times - no problem there! I broke that off at a point and we remained friends for awhile and you know I got sucked in again... Too damned sexy. Scorps can't resist eachother I guess maybe others. LOL!!!

Queen...Good luck! I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, but as you know I can't figure these darn Scorpio men out. I told you mines has driven me to drinking. LOL!!!!

QS,

You are definitely one of my favorite Scorps on this board, but I'll never go through the dehumanizing process of putting you on my profile. (Now, I'm expecting all the other insecure Scorps to bitch about why I didn't give them any props.... Arrgh!!!! Dammit).

Everything I say that sounds critical isn't meant to be. It's just tongue-in-cheek humor even if I'm exposing some ugly truths about your situation, but that's how we are. Is it not?

Like Myst said, maybe you both should just hit it. The fact that he ain't tappin that ass is driving him crazy. Once he taps it, maybe he'll blow his load (figuratively speaking) and can get over it.

CORRECTION: He did tap your ass and wants you even more.

Okay, just ignore my last sentence above then.

***Gosh, the past always seems to show up with you Scorps or you Scorps always seem to show up in someone's past...LOL. It never ends. The future can never be a nice and clear road with this sign.***

Awww Fuckin A... Yes it can... 😢 With "the right" person at "the right" time.

***CORRECTION: He did tap your ass and wants you even more.***

LMAO @ SSs!!! I know man, but when it is good it is good and you know how we scorps keep a bag of tricks... LOL!!! Damn us!

***It's not him who won't let you walk away....YOU don't want to walk away. He's not forcing you to do anything you don't already want to do. ***

True, I already admitted that. I did say he didn't let me walk away and I did say I liked him more now and I did say it is harder to do so without any serious prospects. So yes I was there because I wanted to be, but me trying and him insisting he couldn't "shake me" so to speak and making up any excuse to see me didn't help.

Soooo, now as I pull back and cease contact for awhile I am making a very hard decision for us both. But a good one I guess. To save us both some bad heartache down the road. It is hard when you get close to someone especially for scorps because we rearely get really close to many people.

I think my biggest regret is that after this he won't want/be able to remain friends. I on the other hand am famous for remaining friends with ex bf's or ex involvements. He always says he doesn't know if he can. Not fair 😢

***It's like, these people are trying to run away from their responsibilities and be grown-up and adult enough to face their issues because drama doesn't occur by itself. The person involved in the drama is most likely the cause of it or takes as much responsibility for it as their partner, and they always tell half of the story to some ex-gf/bf who'll believe them and fall for the act and their pronouncement of love and all this other bullbutter. It's all bullbutter basically and no one is being sincere or real in this story. The ex is always going to take that person's side and fall for the bullbutter lines because they secretly still have feelings for this person, and are looking for excuses to get back with them...like the he/she needs me at this time crap.**

FA, I agree that this happens in some instances, however, I can say to his defense that he admits that he was the blame for most of the problems in his marriage, because he simply wasn't ready to be married. He married his wife because he loved her and they had been through some things together and she wanted to get married (always a wrong reason in my opinion) so, as infidelity wasn't an issue with the marriage, now did either partner ever cheat? I don't know - he suspected she was, but ofcourse he didn't confirm that either of them did. Anyway, he wasn't ready to be a family man or should I say a husband. A great father he is, one of the best I have seen. However, not a good husband at the time. He was gone a lot, hung out with friends often as if he was still single. Took care of home financially but wasn't there for emotional support and didn't spend enough quality time with his wife. His fear is that since his actions have built a drift between he and his wife and as he loves her and cares for her, he can't live with her. Wierd, but as a divorce I kind of understand. I was there for awhile myself with my ex. He said she was basically a good person and some of his actions made her change. These things he willingly admitted as I agreed with his wife's point of view on a lot of points while we talked.

I dunno, women expect men to change once we marry them. They expect us and things to remain the same. I don't think either is fair. I think marriage expectations should be agreed upon and practiced during courtship that way after the actual wedding, there are no expectations either way. I don't know who came up with the illusion that after you say "I do" then things change.

I myself had certain expectations of my husband once we had the baby. When in fact I changed. All the attention was on the baby and I sort of neglecte him, when before hand all attention was basically on him. He being a libra loved it and I know secretly felt dissed once we had our daughter. Because I expected him to be what he didn't know how to be. Instant father and family man. This is when the rift grew in our formerly inseperable union. 😢 We all ways figure it out when it is too late and no chance for reconciling. When the gap is too wide to mend. Such is life... Learn from it and move on...

***LOL...and why is relevant that his ex is an Aries?? And most fire signs do NOT hold onto the past, so I'd had to disagree with you on "us fire signs holding on forever." I've easily walked away from unhealthy people in my life and have never looked back or thought twice about the situation. That's typically more of a water sign thing is to cling and not let go, which seems to be you're doing. ***

I can only agree with you as far as water signs go with cancers and pisces and scorp men and maybe scorp women I know. Me, if you could check my history... You would fine I was always the one to leave, get divorced, to the point where I though something wasn't right with me and maybe I didn't give relationships a fair chance. This is why with my marriage I kept trying when I knew it was over before I filed for divorce. I couldn't walk away until I knew I gave it my all. I have had a couple people marvel over how quick a scorp girl can let go. Yet I remain a couple of platonic friendships with exes.

In my experience Aries male/female and Leos (2 in particular) Love very deeply almost as much as us scorps it seems and just don't like to let go. I also have seen examples of this on these forums there are two (who have admitted it) both Aries on the libra board who relentlessly persue the libra even after advice that the particular libra isn't interested in them in the way they want.

Also I know of two Aries women in particular who faught tooth and nail to keep a relationship with a man (one an abusive man who treated her like shit) the other a man who loved her very much at one point and decided to just walk away one day (bastard!) she still wants him back after 2 years.

So I am talking only from experience. Not personal. I also realize that this is only his side which to me is irrelevant. The fact remains he is married and doesn't look like they are getting a legal divorce and I won't be in a serious relationship with someone who is married and not getting a divorce. Especially if the other partner still wants to be married. Wait? Nah, not gonna be able to do it. When we first met. I too was only separated and my legal divorce finally went through.

He isn't even ready for a serious relationshp right now. Doesn't have much time. We just enjoy the time we get. Also there are other reasons that I don't think we will be compatible in the long run.

***But my question then is, why are you now admitting that he admitted to a lot going wrong in their marriage and his behavior changing HER to her being the psycho one? Why were you blaming her and making her out to be the bad one?***

I mentioned this because. A woman who will hit her husband with a car and stab him in the leg is psycho to me! These are instances he mentioned of how she would go crazy whenever they argued. He has never hit her with a car or stabbed her. He has shook the shit out of her before, but never hit her.

***Not to mention that in your very first post, you talk about HIM being crazy, jealous, and possessive, which says to me that if he were any of those things, he would naturally attract someone else like him. Like speaks to like after all, so if she does have some issues, he's only getting what he deserves and what he, himself is.***

His scorp male nature (according to many posts here) causes him to be possessive and jealous. My initial complaint if you read on was when we first got involved meaning, there weren't even any real feelings involved at that point (atleast not for me) and even still we aren't a couple in a comittment so he had no right to act that way and still doesn't also if you read on you will find I admited that he is changing in those aspects.

He clearly didn't attract the like this time because when he behaved that way I cut him off as he changed his behavior we got closer. All in my posts.

***why are you even involved in their situation in the first place?? Why did he bring his issues to YOU regardless of your past with him, that's NOT your business and he should not have come to you or shared that with you. That's like an ex bf of yours going to his ex and telling her all about YOU and your relationship with him and airing dirty laundry or telling stories about you to some other chick. That butter ain't right and it's an old and tired game that has been played for centuries probable. It seems very treetrunked up of him to do that, and makes him also look like he's trying to gain sympathy and protection from you.***

What situation? Being a friend? He and his wife have not lived together for three years. I cut him off when he was acting possessive early on for a couple months. Then he proved to be otherwise. He and his wife never got back together in the interum. Have you never talked about past relationships in a new one or to a friend and visa versa? Everyone does that? What are talking about?

It is simply friends confiding in eachother about their life and relationships something humans do. No one is looking for sympathy. We have just gotten close. He was attracted to me and followed me to my car when I got off of work for 6 weeks until I gave in and accepted his invitation to dinner. That is how I ended up in this situation? Your issue being?

FA,

I don't know this woman, don't care to know her. We are not involved with eachothers children etc. We are not an exclusive couple. Just friends sharing life experiences. So again, how am I in her business or their marriage? What marriage. It is only legalized by paper at this point they are not together. Get it. As mine was until recently. What don't you get?

***Okay, but once again...you're pointing two examples, which doesn't equate to a majority or a real accounting of how many fire signs are actually like this. I know many more than two that aren't, and even then that wouldn't make the statement anymore true.***


Actually sweety that would be 4 Aries and 2 Leos = 6. YOu however have mentioned that water signs are the hardest to let go. Where are your examples and what gives you the right to make us the majority.

As far as how deep scorps love. Google any astrology on the scorp and they said it not me. I am going by what astrologers say about how deep scorps love. They studied so there must be some truth to it. Have you?

By the way sweety how old are you. Ever been married? Have any children? Have you ever had step children?

Similar experiences to your past are not the exact situation that you experienced so don't compare.

The scorp and I are two close friends who have a wonderful connection but I (yes the so called clingy and can't let go)scorp is pulling back. Yeah me. The one who has left every relationship/marriage that wasn't working and NEVER once been left in a relationship by any sign.

So I guess it depends more on the individual than what sign huh FA—

***Well, that is rather psychotic behavior. I agree. You didn't mention any of that when you made that statement, so it just made it look petty to me.***

Uhhh, because I didn't find it necessary to mention details, but I find it was necessary for YOU to get my point. Look I am not jealous of any woman. I am very intelligent, attractive and confident. It didn't phase me one bit when he said he still loved his wife. In fact I encourage anyone who can make a marriage work when children are involve should. If I could I would have. But it takes two. I told him this too. So, sweety maybe it sounded like I was siding with him or jealous because I didn't mention her actions. But trust, no woman has that affect on me.

***Anyways, QS, I'm sensitive to these situations because I've seen and heard enough negativity that goes on when a man is involved or a marriage, and so it's in my nature to say that women should stay out of each other's affairs and that's what it seemed to me you were doing, especially when you say you've talked to her on the phone and stuff.***


Trust sweety I am not. Never seen her or talked to her. For what? What they had is currently in the past and maybe one day will be the present they haven't been together for 3 years. Should I repeat this? I understand your sensitivity, but this is not the same situation. Where did I write I spoke to his wife on the phone—


Being together and married (living together, doing family things together) is one thing. I would never be involved with a person on those terms.

Being involved with a man who isn't and hasn't been with his wife for 3 years, deciding if he is going to legalize the paperwork is different. I and my ex were involved in other relationships during our 3 1/2 year separation while we were going through a divorce. It is only a piece of paper binding the marriage, unless ofcourse he decides to get back together with her. Totally different situation.

Divorces can take forever, years... Especially if a child is involved. Very few people remain single an lonely by choice during the process sweety.

"The person involved in the drama is most likely the cause of it or takes as much responsibility for it as their partner, and they always tell half of the story to some ex-gf/bf who'll believe them and fall for the act and their pronouncement of love and all this other bullshit. It's all bullshit basically and no one is being sincere or real in this story."

OMG! You just described TWO of my exes to a TEE! Both Scorpios, actually. You're right. And these types of people are never there for you when you're having a crisis of your own. It's all about them.

***These type of comments are very low and petty and unnecessary, and shows how childish YOU are becoming. I'm an adult like you and I was trying to real with you and express some things that I know and have experienced. If you don't like it or can't take it, sorry.***

Hmmm, no reason to defend myself. There are a couple of posts on the scorp board regarding me and this guy as being FRIENDS!!! He being separated a couple posts actually. So again, you would have to know the whole story. On this particular one I have mentioned it a couple of times. I assumed you were much younger and didn't share the same experiences (children, marriage, divorce etc) this is why I have taken my precious time to break this down to you. I call a lot of people sweety. Don't get offensive. I just knew you were younger. Be happy you are. You have a lot of things ahead to look forward to. Your misunderstanding didn't bother me any. Just your false acusations and assumptions kind of annoyed me that you didn't read and stick to the facts.

Again, tell me where I wrote I spoke to his wife on the phone?

BTW, you initiated generalizing every water sign to be one way. I mentioned aries in my life experience just like your life experience with the water signs you know. The difference is what?

***OMG! You just described TWO of my exes to a TEE! Both Scorpios, actually. You're right. And these types of people are never there for you when you're having a crisis of your own. It's all about them.***

Sea Siren, maybe he is looking for some sympathy never denied that. A lot of men do the same things no matter what water sign. However in my "I am tired thread" you will see he was one of the only ones there for me when I was down and came through in other situations when I didn't expect him too. This my dear is what bought us so close. So the second part doesn't necessarily apply to this scorp guy.

***it often requires a lot of courage to be the "bad" person, the one who leaves, the one who is "selfish", the one all fingers point to and the one who carries the burden of guilty feelings. left along that sometimes you yourself may wonder whether there is something wrong with you when others cannot not understand.***

OMG Sagigoat. I have posted this in several posts. I started to wonder if I was normal or maybe I didn't give a relationship a real chance because I have never been left/dumped. I sometimes thought why am I always leaving? Am I leaving when the going gets tough? No, my marriage was proof enough for me when I put in 80 percent of the effort to save it even when I no longer had the desire to remain in it. That I am just strong enough to walk away when it doesn't seem to work. Where others might not be as strong. I used to think, if someone would just dump me for a change then I can feel normal. LOL!!!

"However in my "I am tired thread" you will see he was one of the only ones there for me when I was down and came through in other situations when I didn't expect him too."

Hey, QS. I actually didn't mean to infer anything about your sitch. I just thought it was weird what FA said applied to two of my exes but not two others who were Aries and Cap. If someone is there for you in return, that makes all the difference. When they're not, you just feel used and angry that you even gave them the time.

***I think you got it backwards. I responded to YOUR initial post about fire signs or Aries not being able to let go.***

Either way first second or third. You did the same. I am speaking form my experience and you from yours. Nothing is law... Everyone has difference experiences. No offense intended. You just didn't seem to get it. And again you seemed not to have ever been married, divorced or had kids to really know the inside of the issues. You saw things as a child on the outside. I am sure you don't know what your father, mother or this other woman was really going through. If you knew of some not all I don't think.

Cheers.

Sagigoat, you are correct. I surprise myself with the innerself to move on especially when all my relationships and marriage was with deep love and devotion on my part.

"some would make no effort when a relationship is going downhill and wait till the other can't stand anymore to be the "bad" person to initiate the breakup...i have have less respect for that...why drag if you trust your decision making ability? dragging a dead horse is just gonna make things bloody ugly and a waste of life."

No kidding! I've never understood this passive aggressive approach. The worst is when BOTH people are this way. I've known a few, though, who have no problem being the "bad" one in order to GET the other person to leave, putting them through all kinds of torture. And then, when it's all over, they can blame the other person and get the sympathy. For some people, no matter how bad something is, maybe they think it's easier to stay because it's familiar and feels safe, no matter how shitty it is.

Yeah Sea Siren, I hear ya. Oh by the way your other comment wasn't taken personally. I was just making a statement. I didn't expect him to pick up on my mood especially since I mostly stayed to myself that weekend.

FA, put a fork in it. I already replied to your personal message. Fine you are right whatever your view are. They are superior to all. Now please this is like beaten a dead horse. The issue is over. You are now clear now leave it alone. Geeez.

***when there is true devotion there will be unsalvagable disappointment in the end when it doesn't work out. that' when your heart goes cold completely when you never look back.***

This is very true Sagigoat. Whew... Something else to relate to finally.

Yay!!!!

So don't Capricorns.

Capricorns? Hmmm?

Nah, that has never been it. They all have still wanted/loved me long after I left. I can't think of one who hasn't. I left for good reason. It wasn't right for me. I am confident in that. But I would think at least one would leave me first. I might have left other relationships prematurely but not my marriage. I tried with all I had and it took my libra husband 2 years after we separated to believe it was really over.

I guess it is just the stregnth to stand alone and walk away. I understand that could be hard for men and women alike. Not for me though. If it isn't working and is causing more pain than pleasure. Hurt than happiness. It isn't good. Just my theory.

***my theory is that it takes more strength to stay than walk away....it probably depends how much you actually love someone...***

This is never a good theory when the relationship isn't working no matter what you try, if it is no longer benefitial nor healthy to either party than because of the love you have for that person and yourself, it takes more stregnth to walk away in my opinion. Trust I know, I have been doing it and I loved each one I had to walk away from. Life isn't forever so, it is best to live it happy and peaceful, not waste it on pain and torment. By all means if there is any way for a relationship to work, stick it out. I am also a believer in that, because of my belief in this I faught for my marriage as long as I did, however, I had to be the strong one to walk away, because he never would have, also I was doing most of the fighting to make it work while he just received mostly.

no longer beneficial.... ooops

Thanks 2nd chapter, as a scorp you understand that we ONLY walk away when we have exhausted all possible efforts when we think it is worth it.

To stay and be miserable would be more of a coward or weakness act to me. It wouldn't be healthy for either party.

Irishlibra, after your recent experience I hope you no longer beilieve it is okay to STAY in a relationship that isn't healthy.

***.....i agree healthy relationships are not good, does that mean that your association/relationship with your scorpio 'friend' is over as you have said a few times now?***

If you read my posts you will see according to dates and time passed, I did end it with him and he changed the things I didn't like and came back correct. As it has never been more than a casual thing. Yes feelings between the two of us had gotten alot more intense and much stronger, but yes I think I will still have to end it for good at some point for other reasons. Reasons as in the future I don't know if we will be a good fit or will be a good fit and as I always have told him. When Mr. right comes along than that is where I will be and I was enjoying the "right now" time we are having.

He has since mentioned he couldn't bare me to be with anyone else etc. So I told him we might need to cut this sooner than later because emotions are getting really intense and we both know the objective was not to make this a serious relationship for a number of reasons.

A million reasons. It is in some of my posts.