scorpio driving me mad

I am Aquarius (on the cusp with Capricorn) and have a crush on this Scorpio who is driving me mad. We meet in a dance venue regularly and I am very much attracted to him. He seems a womanizer (or that?s the image he projects in his dancing), so I?m a bit careful to make any clear moves. I mainly respond to him whenever he wants to dance with me and if he talks to me. We flirt online, but that?s about it. Once he gave me some hints that he liked me, but I didn?t really respond, just smiled and melted when I danced with him. He ignores me a lot, but I think he?s trying to play these games, which I am not good at, so I basically don?t take any steps. The days when there are no other guys to dance with, then he gives a little attention (but still not enough for me to do anything) and then when I get to dance with other guys, then he TOTALLY ignores me. And if I get pissed off and he sees that, then he gives me a little more attention. But I mean if he gave me more attention, I wouldn?t go and dance with the other guys.
The other day he kissed me (friendly kiss, but he commented that this is the first time he kissed me) and then he just ignored me all night, dancing with different ladies (he has no problem approaching them). And it?s not very easy for me to approach him, cause the set-up at this venue is all dancing. Not much opportunity for talking.
Problem is I?m very cautious, so I know I?m not doing much, but when he?s trying to send me mixed signals, how am I supposed to respond? Should I give him more attention? Should I ignore him? Or should I just forget about him? I just don't get. If he's interested then why not just be more clear about it and then we can find out if there's any potential. It's really simple, isn't it?

I heard thats supposed to be what we do but im not aware of doing it myself if I do do it.But anyways if that is true I think he may like you and could be maybe a bit jealousy or he may not think you like him when other dudes are involved to hit off the ignoring thing.I can't give you an opinion on scorp guys or even dating one,they've only been friends where I am concerned lol.One of the closest to me scorp guys I know,it would be like dating a brother for me so have never thought about getting involved with one.

when a scorpio guy is into you, you know. I know it seems weird for him to go off dancing with other women and ignoring you, but I know that I do it all the time. Ignore the guy I like and start flirting with others. The reason being insecurity, or an attraction that probably won't work out or something. Or he might just think you're not that into him. From what I hear about scorpio guys, when they like a girl, they usually get her. If not, they move on, no regrets. But they try and give their all. If he really wants you, and you want him too, he'll have you. But being a scorpio it might be just teasing? idk. I think you should ignore him. That way, if he didn't care, you'll know. You might be hurt, but you'll know. And if he does, you'll know, because he'll come after you.

That's just my opinion. Ofcourse I could be wrong.

Actually it's easiest for me just to ignore. I am not that attached. I don't even know him, so he might not be worth it.
I just get irritated cause every time I feel it's getting a bit better (or clearer) and I am ready to do some move (I'm very cautious), he does something which really turns me off. And this stresses me. It's a bit frustrating for me cause I'm very difficult to encourage to make moves. I hardly flirt, so it takes alot of my energy to start to flirt.
I haven't seen him since that incident, but I'll just ignore and if he approaches I'll just respond in a friendlt manner.

Update:
The past period my contact with him (the Scorpio guy) has been more or less the same, dancing, flirting online, etc. He understands that I'm attracted to him (through flirting online) and I'm sure he is attracted to me (even though I'm sure he's attracted to others).
Finally the other night on my way home he went after me and asked to get my number, so we exchanged numbers. Now it's been 10 days and no call, he stopped appearing on the forum where we flirted. I know he alive's cause I see him on another forum (which I'm not active in) and he doesn't know I look there (I think). He much into playing games (which is pissing me off).
Anyway, I don't understand? I was very enthusiastic when he asked for my number. I knew he wasn't going to call immediately and I expect he might call 'one day', but this is a real turn-off for me to waitt all these days and not appear online on purpose. Maybe he's waiting to see if I'll call (but I won't)? And when/if he does call, should I respond or just ignore?

You're probably right, he's just playing games.

How was mexico Elliot? I want to go to Cancun 😢

Update
He called me after 2 weeks. He saw me at the dance venue and I pretended I didn't see him and left. He called me the day after and I didn't answer pick up the phone.
I called him the next day and he was first defensive why is took me 24 hrs to return his call. Then he was very nice on the phone and we had a long conversation, talking about dance, flirting a little, asking a few personal questions, etc. Then he asked if I'd like to do something with him and I said sure. Two days later I met him at the dance venue and I was extra nice, went and said hello, gave him a hug, was touchy while dancing, etc. It felt real good. He didn't call to do anything, but it took him 6 months to ask for my number, 2 weeks to make the first call, so I didn't expect him to ask to do something....before, a year?
Anyways, two days after I saw him again at the dance venue. He came and just waved to me with his two little fingers, so I did the same. And then he went and greeted many other people and danced with many girls and came to me like after number 5 or something (close to the time I usually leave). I wasn't dancing cause there weren't many people around. Then he came and asked me to dance and wanted to start dancing in close contact so I resisted a bit (I wasn't in a mood of having full body contact after he kept me waiting and ignored me). So he just told me to come close to him cause we're dancing and I said I didn't want to. And then of course it was one lousy dance, but for a moment I felt he was smiling to himself, happy that I was pissed off.
This really turns me off cause I didn't play any games, don't play hard to get, etc so I don't really understand why he's doing this.
Is he always going to be like this? all these games? or is it that he's not sure that I like him enough? sometimes I get feeling that he wants me to be madly in love with him and then he can decide whether he wants me or not? Or can it be that he wants to satisft his ego that I'm dying to be with him (I'm the type who doesn't date much and I'm not interested to get guys' attention).

But that's cause he asked for my number 2 weeks before and wasn't calling me and was coming late to the dance venue so he can test whether I'll call or not. So I was pissed off because of what he's doing. I understand his games and he's forcing me to react in a way which I don't want to.

Scorp is into power. Don't fight this war with him. You cannot win; only if you fight his fight. Last time I checked, you aquas can be quite cunning yourself. But let me tell you. Scorps are deeply passionate people. You will never win in a war of emotional manipulation against them. The only way would be for you to trick them into thinking you love them passionately, but in your heart of course, you don't.

Now who wins? Nobody. Let this one go. He does not know what he is missing. You want a water sign? Get a pisces. Beautiful people.

Emeraldgem and m&mgem, maybe I have been taking part of the games. I don't like to be manipulated and I always fight back, but I didn't start.

What do you recommend I do? I don't think he'll leave me alone yet and the way I know to cut if off is by being honest and straight. I just don't know how to brush it off.

I have no idea what I want Wild_Ram. I know I can be cunning, but I never start.

I can't trick him. I don't fall in love passionately unless I get good love in return.

How do I let this go? He's a fool.

How do I let this go? He's a fool.

You answered your own question...

Hes a fool, so let him go. His loss, not yours

bestwoman,

I'm an aquarian woman in a relationship with a scorpion man. My being in the cusp of pisces may give me a little more understanding of him, but I hear what you are saying loud and clear. I don't think you are playing games, I think that because you like him and you feel he likes you, why doesn't he just jump in and get things rolling instead of all the push and pull? I think I know why. He knows you are not going to be an easy woman to deal with. Whether he tries to manipulate you or not, you will not follow the game plan as he would like you to. You have two options, hang in there and play along with him, or ignore his azz and get on with other things. I'd opt for the last choice. I don't care how much you like him, do your own thing and forget about being around for him. You've got to have more respect for yourself when you are around him, he's been watching you awhile. So what you didn't answer the phone when called you. Did you feel like talking to him? I wouldn't have contacted him until I felt like it. If he's available, then cool. If not, that's cool too. If he doesn't want to be bothered, then don't bother. Do YOU. Aquarians draw people to us like flies, if he doesn't appreciate or respect your company, then so what ... more fish in the sea.

I don't really know him personally emeraldgem, but I've been seeing him in this dance venue for almost a year. He seems the 'maverick and play-ah' type, but sometimes I think it's an image he's just trying to project and he's really insecure. As I also said before that I'm a bit of the 'serious' type of girl who just goes and dances, don't flirt much, quite conservative, a bit unapproachable, but I really just go for the dancing and a good time. So he sees that I'm not trying to get a guy and he just can't understand that. He also understands that I'm attracted to him and can't understand why I'm not all over him. But I'm just conservative and careful in relationships so unless you want to get to know me first, no guy is getting nowhere (even if I'm attracted). And this he can't understand. I can be quite attractive if I put some effort, but I usually don't and he even told me that I'm not using all my potential. He was talking me into wearing a dress, more sexy clothes, etc. But again, I'm conservative and I don't want men all over me and dressing up for me is more when I feel like it, not just cause some attractive guy asked me to. This he can't understand.
So my main problem is I don't know anything about his real character. Second I don't know if I'm just a challenge for him cause I'm a bit different or if it's that he's insecure and he want me to be all over him.

He has managed to attract my attention and he sometimes seems nice (online and on the pnone). And I haven't been in a relationship in a long time and not many men attract my attention so deep inside I do want to give it try, but if he's way too complicated.....

For me the best approach is straight honest talk, but we really haven't been through something tangible to talk about.

pathfinder
Of course I'm not gonna call him. I'm sure he won't call either for the time being. I will try to avoid him, but I fear this cycle cause this is what has been happening lately. He pissed me off, I ignore him, he starts to be nice, I soften, I give a little attention, he ignores me/pisses me, I ignore him, etc. So I know he'll stay away for a while and then will start to dance again with me and be nice. The way to break this cycle is me say no to dancing, but then my friends recomend against that and tell me just ignore him and be cool. This is not easy for me. Another problem is that I don't know how to hide how I feel, so If I'm pissed, you can read me face and then he'll pick a moment when I miss dancing with and start the cycle.

BW..., most of the scorpio men I have been involved with like sexy, (dressing and otherwise) classy, women. I started to mention that to you in my previous post about how you dress, but I didn't want to come off as trying to change your style if you can't pull it off. If he mentioned to you to dress to a little more sexy, you should at least give it a shot. He will think you are paying attention to what he saying to you. Sexy, not trashy. Maybe an expensive sexy perfume, or show a little more skin than usual. As far as the silent treatment, he is the champion. You will never beat him at that, UNLESS, he is interested, for whatever reason (doesn't necessarily have to be romantic), he may break his silence. Last, wearing your emotions on your face. Get more control over that. He will read you like a book. And in my experience scorpio men like to needle and tease a reaction out of you -- either negative or positive. He doesn't care, he is seeing what works for what reaction.

Anyway, whatever you do, he will use it for his advantage.

He DOES read me like a book and he just enjoys it.
As for wearing sexy, I would like to, but I dance with many strangers, so I don't feel comfortable to be too much. I mean if I go on a date with him, then I'll be more encouraged.

Ok, so I've decided to get the guy out of my system. I went out the other night and I left after he came by 10 minutes (but the usual time I leave). I avoided eye contact, to avoid daning with him.
His next strategy....I usually go with a friend and he has never talked to her or danced with her in the past 9 months. I have also refered to her when talking with him and we usually go and leave together. That same night she stayed longer and he kept chasing her so he could dance with her. He also started dancing quite intimately with her. She's my friend and she told me sbout it. So I know he using a new stratgy to annoy me. This is acually turning me off even more cause I feel he's very childish. Or he's trying to tell me, look I dance with your friend and intimately, I'm not only dancing with you. Or he wants to come next time and pretend he's coming to me and then asks my friend to try to annoy me.

What shall I do? Do I continue ignoring him? That's easy for me. What if he asks me to dance. Ok, I'll dance, but I don't feel like it so it'll just be so I don't say no. Or do I just say some excuse that I'm tired or something, which will of course piss him off. I'm really confused to how to react?

lol come on dont stop now im really enjoyin this... hahaha itz chemistry!!! hahaha i love us scorps always frollickn around... gawd i can tell ur frustrated but dont get pissy wit him... uv only got one shot at life so give it a shot... wat have u got to lose... stop being so scared n just take a jump... dont start avoiding him... obviouzli hez in2 u hes just testn tha waters... ya know like ur doin to him... jus laugh n joke around hava a gud tym... gawd stop analysin shyt n live 4 tha moment... jus react however ur body is tellin u n stop thinkn bout it stop analyzin coz ur jus workn urself up 2 a mess...

dance wit him enjoy it tell him u enjoy it n continue... hahaha cum on u know ur enjoyin it!!! hahaha gud luk hun i bet heza sexy danca!!!

BW, sounds like you've got him figured out pretty well -- when it comes to how he is dealing with you. He is teasing you and playing with your mind b/c he CAN. Yes, he knows you like him alot. He also knows that you are the "conservative" type and not the "playa/flirty" type -- so therefore, he's being the playa (which may be what he really is).

I do understand your apprehension that you may be sending the wrong signals to other men if you dress a little more sexy than you normally do. If you don't feel comfortable with it, then don't do it. I was suggesting that you do subtle sexy things, slowly stepping out of your comfort zone, and building your confidence to try something new --senusal perfume, sexy stockings, new make-up/hair style , etc.)

Now if this guy is all of the sudden coming after your best friend and not after you equally "all of the sudden", you know he is playing head games. You've got to get your confidence back, bestwoman. If you can play along with him like misty suggests then make sure you do it with CONFIDENCE. No regrets. If you can't do it, for whatever reason, then do that too with CONFIDENCE. Walk away or stay and play. Stick to one or the other.

If you are not a playa, don't turn into one for his sake b/c he will lose respect for you, you will lose some respect for yourself. BE WHO YOU ARE. If he doesn't like you, then he will not like YOU, not someone you are not. And if he doesn't like YOU, the hell with him. If he does like YOU, he will show it and then you can decide whether he's worth your attention. You've got to be determined to be who you are (or what you aspire to grow to be), you can't let him control your emotions.

Touche, Emeraldgem, you make a lot of sense.

I'm listening to you emeraldgem, pathfinder and misty. In a free world I might have done what misty recommended, but we're not in a free world.
I'm also not in love, so I'm not worried about my feelings, but I have been manipulated that's for sure. I also have reasons. I haven't been in many relationships so I don't have much experience and I do want to be in a relationship, but I don't find many men attracting me. He has managed to catch my attention, but it could be a challenge for him more than he cares cause I'm not 'typical'. And I also can be attractive if I put the effort and he can't understand why I'm not using it to get guys. But I'm looking more for a mental and emotional connection, not just physical.
The last update: He was extermely nice and came and said hello, trying to open conversations, asked me to dance. I did, the way I feel comfortable and he kept giving me instructions, telling me to take it easy, that we're dancing, etc..
I will really try to be cool and continue being cool, as if I've changed my mind. I will also not flirt with him online cause I think this has been triggering alot excitment. I have to break the cycle, which I'm aware of.

Hey, emeraldgem, I'm Aquarian, but I'm born in the cusp of Pisces, so it could be the Piscean influence that helps me to try to accept people as they are and desire to understand where they are coming from. We all want to be understood, right?

Yes, people can attain levels of equality in relationships. But as you know, it will take effort and a lot of "maintenance" follow-up 🙂 with both people respecting the other as they themselves want to be respected AND accepted.

BW, you wrote:

"But I'm looking more for a mental and emotional connection, not just physical."

As a Aquarian, it's no wonder to me why you are attracted this man. The Scorpio man is all three rolled into one. I know my scorpio man is. Mentally challenging and intriguing (he keeps you thinking -- you just can't seem to figure him out totally ... yet), emotionally stimulating(he excites your emotions because he has penetrated your MIND)and physically sexy [probably a result of the first two (but these guys are sexy without a doubt. You sense they pack a wallop even in a kiss. Yes, a great kisser is a weakness of mine)]. BW, you said most men don't attract you, I'm like that too, so when one gets your attention, it's hard for you to let it go without wondering how far it can go. You know what turns you on, and right now, HE does.

This guy has started something in your mind, bestwoman, which you know. So give yourself more credit for the things that you KNOW. You have alot of information already to make some moves/decisions. Yes, you are a challenge to him. So make sure that he is interested in being with you and not just the "conquest" of you. Free your mind of him (no, it won't be easy)-- so even it means that you stop going to the dance venue so often, do that. Believe me, once you put things in perspective you will know what you must do.

Scorpios tend to like to play games and send mixed signals....usually not becuase they don't like you but because they are afraid of you not liking them back or finding out their secret. Since you did talk to him and got him to answer some personal questions it's a good sign. As for the flirting... maybe he's enjoying the single life or he's a commitment-phobe ( scorpios either desire or fear commitment). Just give it some time and become closer to him...if it becomes clear he doesn't like you...move on.
Also...Aquarius and Scorpio are considired a bad match...but since your on the cusp of Capricorn it could help...as well as your venus, mars, etc. sign.

Yes, pathfinder and emeraldgem, I don't want to want to be 'conquest'. If he wants to believe that he managed to get my attention, then good for (if that's going to fulfil his ego).
Yes, pathfinder, he has managed to stimulate me mentally and physically. As for emotionally, these games keep turing me off.
Lately, I've been trying not to flirt online to keep it cool. Maybe I should skip a couples of times going to the dance venue. I'll see.

'Just give it some time and become closer to him...if it becomes clear he doesn't like you...move on.'

I have no problem giving it time, I'm in no hurry. It's just these games and inconsistency which drives me mad. And if he fears commitment, then he's not for me.

But as a scorp, how would you like me to react?

Thanks SimplyMe. This is making me look at it from a different prespective.

Don't tell me I told you so.....

I was very clever the past weeks and didn't go to the venue, didn't flirt online.
Then he called me yesterday and asked if I'd like to do swimming with him and I just said yes.......This wasn't my plan.......

In a way I'm excited and in a way I'm skeptical cause he'll be nice and then the time after he'll so something to make me mad.

I just have to be ready for this....

(I'm also curious to see what he wants....)

"I just said yes......."

I would have said "I'm very busy these days, maybe some other time.."

He should show some more effort after playing with you for quite a while. Don't let him control you, he will be poofed again. Just my opinion though..(guys are like that, not only scorps..)

Btw, bestwoman.. Sorry for being pessimistic, it's just that I have learned to keep the distance with guys.

Don't worry sweet&sour.
I'm always on guard from men, so I'm trying to loosen up bit. I've hardly dated so I want to practice a bit.

I'm just worried/nervous that he's a wrong choice.

Update

I agreed with him to spend a day swimming on the weekend. A day before, my sister had an operation and I had to help out, so I cancelled the outing. 2 days later I met him at the dance venue and he was friendly and we danced nicely. I called him a couple of days after to set a date for the outing that was cancelled. He mentioned that he thought I was not interested cause I didn't call him right away.

Anyway, we went out and we had a very fine day. I got to know more information about him and got to know a little about him. We flirted quite a bit and were quite touchy (hugging, playing around, etc,). The day ended and I felt quite good even though I realized that we're quite different in many ways. I'm quite adventurous in traveling, doing different activities, etc and he's more of going to work, crazy about dance and a bit obssessed by his looks (I'm completely the opposite), but the overall feeling was good. So I thought it was a good start to get to know him.

Two day later I was at the dance venue and I waited for him to come since he always comes late. He started dancing with one of the girls and I was dancing close to him with someone else. After the dance I was on my way to go greet him and then he was on his way to another dance. It took him an hour to realize that I was in the dance venue (small place) and then he asked me how long I was there and why I didn't come up to him. He said that he hadn't seen me (which I think is not true). Of course I wasn't smiling cause I felt he was just bluffing. I had a dance with him and left.

So again I'm pissed off.
I'm really have trouble communicating with him. It was fine the day we were out cause we were talking well and he was listening, etc.

I just wonder when/if he calls me again, do I just tell him straight out that I don't know how to communicate with him. He said he didn't see me, but I doubt that's true cause the dance venue is not that big and it took an hour.

Today I would use SimplyMe's adivce "My advice - If you find yourself feeling so uncomfortable and stressed about this relationship then cut your loses early in this relationship. There is no point stressing yourself out to get a relationship that you end up not feeling good about."

But I know when he might choose a time when I would react differently.