Scorpio Man/Cancer Woman - Both Venus is Virgo

Hi everyone!

There has been a Scorpio man in my life for about 4 years, off and on. The off parts were because we were both in relationships around the same time and then eventually started talking again.

On our initial date we had dinner and drinks and actually ended up taking a few fun pictures together. We became intimate early on which may have been a mistake on my part but nevertheless we stayed in touch.

Fast forward, to now, we have been talking consistently (almost everyday and sometimes for hours) and he has been sharing some pretty intimate details about his life and past relationships with me. His ex is a Gemini and when we began talking again, he said that this relationship was over because he never trusted her fully and she was very detached and self-centered HOWEVER they ended up getting back together and he posted a pic of them together on Instagram which just about killed me. He was definitely aware of how I felt about him but this obviously didn't matter. He even mentioned that she doesn't keep him aroused which is hard to fathom since our sex is mutually amazing! They ended up breaking up and removing all pictures from Instagram and he made sure to tell me that he was no longer "fucking with her" anymore. While he was in this short-lived reunion with her, we did not speak because I was truly uncomfortable with the situation because he had previously told me he was not looking for anything.

HOWEVER, recently he invited me to go on a truck ride with him out of state for a few days and it was WONDERFUL. In person, we are very calm, playful and highly attracted to one another. He mentioned to me that he had never invited another person along with him in his personal world in the truck. I was under the impression that he was into me at this point. We would even kiss and be intimate on a regular basis and go out.

In the truck, he drew my attention to his phone and guess who was blowing his phone UP, the EX! WTF? Of course, I became a little irritated that he was trying to play with me and get my reaction. Now, in the past and even more recently, he gets upset if he thinks I am talking to other men or if I'm around other men. HOWEVER, I recently asked him about his feelings he said, "You are cool and I like you but I do not want you in that way". What in thee fudge? I made it clear to him that we shouldnt talk as much.

Questions:
Is this typical Scorpio man behavior?
Why does he draw me near then push me away?
Wha

What do I do?

Also, is this a Scorpio-sabotage type of situation or am I out of my mind?

the biggest difference in the behavior of a scorp guy that wants you in his life vs one that enjoys your friendship and physical intimacy is that the scorp that wants you will give to you emotionally and physically to the point that eventually he'll succeed in making himself a part of every aspect of your life... social, home, work, personal... he will try to support you in any way he can. he will be proactive about this. you might rarely have to ask. your worlds will almost revolve around each other. almost. they'll certainly be spinning alongside one another.

the scorp that enjoys your friendship and physical intimacy will enjoy r&r with you and opening up to you, or you wouldn't be friends. if you call on him, he'll probably be there for you when you need him as a friend. and a very good friend he will be.

dont confuse the two. no matter which they are... they are lovers which will be very confusing if you can't pick out these differences.

i'm not sure i've answered your qs in the format you'd like, but keep a level head. obviously you really like this guy so your head is likely in the clouds. in my opinion, he means what he says... no question.

Posted by cancergirl721


He even mentioned that she doesn't keep him aroused which is hard to fathom since our sex is mutually amazing!

HOWEVER, I recently asked him about his feelings he said, "You are cool and I like you but I do not want you in that way". What in thee fudge? I made it clear to him that we shouldnt talk as much.

There is no such thing as typical behavior, each person is different.
Cut all ties, he's wasting your time.

Posted by CreepyPants
the biggest difference in the behavior of a scorp guy that wants you in his life vs one that enjoys your friendship and physical intimacy is that the scorp that wants you will give to you emotionally and physically to the point that eventually he'll succeed in making himself a part of every aspect of your life... social, home, work, personal... he will try to support you in any way he can. he will be proactive about this. you might rarely have to ask. your worlds will almost revolve around each other. almost. they'll certainly be spinning alongside one another.

the scorp that enjoys your friendship and physical intimacy will enjoy r&r with you and opening up to you, or you wouldn't be friends. if you call on him, he'll probably be there for you when you need him as a friend. and a very good friend he will be.

dont confuse the two. no matter which they are... they are lovers which will be very confusing if you can't pick out these differences.

i'm not sure i've answered your qs in the format you'd like, but keep a level head. obviously you really like this guy so your head is likely in the clouds. in my opinion, he means what he says... no question.

This makes alot of sense. I think the point where the confusion came in is when he said to me "I love you" and I laughed and told him to cut it out and he said "no, I'm serious tell me you love me too". Then he said if I were to get pregnant he would be stuck with me. Who says things like that? We do have protected sex of course but this was said in one conversation. Le sigh....

Posted by LunarMaiden

Posted by cancergirl721


He even mentioned that she doesn't keep him aroused which is hard to fathom since our sex is mutually amazing!

HOWEVER, I recently asked him about his feelings he said, "You are cool and I like you but I do not want you in that way". What in thee fudge? I made it clear to him that we shouldnt talk as much.

There is no such thing as typical behavior, each person is different.
Cut all ties, he's wasting your time.

click to expand

Le sigh... 😢

Don't worry hun, there is a good man looking for you. 🙂

Posted by LunarMaiden
Don't worry hun, there is a good man looking for you. 🙂

I definitely believe that. Thanks love! 🙂

Posted by cancergirl721


In the truck, he drew my attention to his phone and guess who was blowing his phone UP, the EX! WTF? Of course, I became a little irritated that he was trying to play with me and get my reaction. Now, in the past and even more recently, he gets upset if he thinks I am talking to other men or if I'm around other men. HOWEVER, I recently asked him about his feelings he said, "You are cool and I like you but I do not want you in that way". What in thee fudge? I made it clear to him that we shouldnt talk as much.

ouch!! a little irritated, you say?

He's being honest with you. Don't play #2 Cancer lady. It is not in your nature..

Posted by shellshocker

Posted by cancergirl721


In the truck, he drew my attention to his phone and guess who was blowing his phone UP, the EX! WTF? Of course, I became a little irritated that he was trying to play with me and get my reaction. Now, in the past and even more recently, he gets upset if he thinks I am talking to other men or if I'm around other men. HOWEVER, I recently asked him about his feelings he said, "You are cool and I like you but I do not want you in that way". What in thee fudge? I made it clear to him that we shouldnt talk as much.

ouch!! a little irritated, you say?

He's being honest with you. Don't play #2 Cancer lady. It is not in your nature..

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Ain't that the truth!? =/ I guess I'm sour/disappointed because I really thought that we had some genuine feelings for one another. But you are right, #2 is not a very flattering number. Ouch.

Leave him alone ,u ask him about his feeling and he said u are cool ,and then said he like u. I think he have his cake and eating it. U talk about how u had sex fast with him . I think he getting wat he want so he feel like y go deeper . Scorps like challenges. U have to make them work for u to allow them to no what they are missing.

Posted by ellessque
you rejected him. at this point, it's not likely he'll ever put you above "friend" for fear of getting hurt.

scorps send out little messages and most people don't get or notice them. We mostly do it to get a reaction to see where we stand and most of the time others aren't paying attention. The "I love you" was a test and you failed miserably. He knew exactly where to put you at that point.

you both have venus in virgo, recirpocation is very important with that placements. if you two insist on playing games and being too cautious for fear of getting hurt, it's not going to work. Someone needs to step up and if he keeps stepping up only to be shot down, he'll just start mirroring you and making you that much more confused.

I don't think I rejected him. He has always known how I feel about him. He recently asked me if I loved him and I replied yes and asked if anything was wrong with that. He said no, it wasn't.

As far as the phone call and drawing my attention to it, he said he did it to get a reaction out of me, which is an honest response.

At this point, I can't really say why he gets jealous or upset when he thinks I'm around another guy but I can only take him at his word when he says he doesn't want me in "that way". It's hurtful and disappointing but there is nothing for me to do at this point.

It's like he comes close to me and then he will spaz out and turn cold. We talk just about everyday and sometimes several times a day as well as texting at times. I guess it is whatever it is or isn't. :-/

Posted by ellessque

you both have venus in virgo, recirpocation is very important with that placements. if you two insist on playing games and being too cautious for fear of getting hurt, it's not going to work. Someone needs to step up and if he keeps stepping up only to be shot down, he'll just start mirroring you and making you that much more confused.

My Scorpion and I both hold Venus in Virgo and I cannot stress how important this is.

The only way to make it work is to be completely straight up and honest.. and to ask straightforward questions and being strong and mature enough to hear straightforward responses. DONT allow yourself to get too much into your head (you should know exactly what I mean) with this. If its in your head, then say it out loud to yourself when alone. Does it sound ridiculous? Then laugh it off because your brain is over thinking it again. Does it sound legitimate as a thought or concern? Talk to him about it. Be straight up.

He's opened up to you. If you get the chance again, don't shoot anything down again. You two need to get out of your heads and meet on the same level.

Posted by Huntress

Posted by ellessque

you both have venus in virgo, recirpocation is very important with that placements. if you two insist on playing games and being too cautious for fear of getting hurt, it's not going to work. Someone needs to step up and if he keeps stepping up only to be shot down, he'll just start mirroring you and making you that much more confused.

My Scorpion and I both hold Venus in Virgo and I cannot stress how important this is.

The only way to make it work is to be completely straight up and honest.. and to ask straightforward questions and being strong and mature enough to hear straightforward responses. DONT allow yourself to get too much into your head (you should know exactly what I mean) with this. If its in your head, then say it out loud to yourself when alone. Does it sound ridiculous? Then laugh it off because your brain is over thinking it again. Does it sound legitimate as a thought or concern? Talk to him about it. Be straight up.

He's opened up to you. If you get the chance again, don't shoot anything down again. You two need to get out of your heads and meet on the same level.

click to expand

This is good advice. Me being a Cancer means that I can definitely side-step around what I really want to know instead of just asking it directly. He definitely holds no punches. He said to me yesterday that it seemed that I was trying to be in space that he does not want me in, which caught me off guard. It's stinging because I didn't see it that way at all. We talk often and we have fun but the dynamics are a bit skewed in that we both question each other regarding the opposite sex. I know I am not delusional but he is making it seem as though I am.

You are right though, I am in my head ALOT! We haven't spoken in a couple of days due to a recent spat. (Sigh). However when we do I am going to keep the conversation light and upbeat. Hopefully he will too.

Next time he throws an 'emotional punch', bring it up. For example, the last situation you stated.. you could have said, 'Oh, I didn't realize that. What space are you not comfortable with me being in? Friends, flirting, or something more?'

It sounds scary, I'm sure.. but its /needed/. It's like you two are speaking different languages that sound similar.. but aren't (i.e., Spanish and Portuguese).

If he makes you feel like you're coming off as delusional.. make it impossible to by confronting it directly right away. Challenge him to drop the banter and show the cards in his hand instead of giving you the blank poker face that tries to make you second guess.

Posted by Huntress
Next time he throws an 'emotional punch', bring it up. For example, the last situation you stated.. you could have said, 'Oh, I didn't realize that. What space are you not comfortable with me being in? Friends, flirting, or something more?'

It sounds scary, I'm sure.. but its /needed/. It's like you two are speaking different languages that sound similar.. but aren't (i.e., Spanish and Portuguese).

If he makes you feel like you're coming off as delusional.. make it impossible to by confronting it directly right away. Challenge him to drop the banter and show the cards in his hand instead of giving you the blank poker face that tries to make you second guess.

You are right in that I should immediately retort and ask him what he means? Sometimes I feel like he is being crappy and looking for gripe because I am getting too close.
When he mentioned that he didn't want me in that space, I did ask him what he wanted me to do and suggested maybe it would be better if I didn't reach out via text or phone calls. Of course that made him mad and said I didn't have to go to that extreme.

Are Scorpios typically this difficult? I never mention us being together or pursuing a relationship and ESPECIALLY not after he basically shut me down. Le sigh... =/

That is a loaded question, love.

And honestly, one I cannot answer myself. Sometimes my Scorpion is quite easy going, and other days.. not so much. However, that's probably the same exact way he views me.

Let the past bickerings go. Start anew in your own head and approach with him. Maybe you'll find that it's easier to communicate this way, while taking the previous advice. Stop analyzing the behaviors of yesteryear and approach it with the most upfront and honest approach. Let the guards down and don't let confusion occur without an immediate understanding.

You can do this. 🙂

Posted by Huntress
That is a loaded question, love.

And honestly, one I cannot answer myself. Sometimes my Scorpion is quite easy going, and other days.. not so much. However, that's probably the same exact way he views me.

Let the past bickerings go. Start anew in your own head and approach with him. Maybe you'll find that it's easier to communicate this way, while taking the previous advice. Stop analyzing the behaviors of yesteryear and approach it with the most upfront and honest approach. Let the guards down and don't let confusion occur without an immediate understanding.

You can do this. 🙂

You are awesome! Thank you! Haa that was a loaded question. I will definitely take your advice! 🙂 Thank you so much!! 🙂

Posted by cancergirl721

Posted by ellessque
you rejected him. at this point, it's not likely he'll ever put you above "friend" for fear of getting hurt.

Someone needs to step up and if he keeps stepping up only to be shot down, he'll just start mirroring you and making you that much more confused.

I don't think I rejected him. He has always known how I feel about him. He recently asked me if I loved him and I replied yes and asked if anything was wrong with that. He said no, it wasn't.

At this point, I can't really say why he gets jealous or upset when he thinks I'm around another guy but I can only take him at his word when he says he doesn't want me in "that way". It's hurtful and disappointing but there is nothing for me to do at this point.
:-/

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Ok.. I'm seriously confused...

He asks her if she loves him... she says, yes

BUT He has told her that he doesn't want her "in that way"...

He plays games.. by showing her his ex blowing up his phone.. to get a reaction out of her..

But he is the only one that is "stepping up?" sounds like some bullshit to me... but if you can enlighten me on this i would love to learn something new...

If someone says they don't want you in that way... LISTEN! and walk. If they are lying... it is for them to figure out, not you

Get a new man in your life please. In fact get two! This one is defunct.

Posted by shellshocker

Posted by cancergirl721

Posted by ellessque
you rejected him. at this point, it's not likely he'll ever put you above "friend" for fear of getting hurt.

Someone needs to step up and if he keeps stepping up only to be shot down, he'll just start mirroring you and making you that much more confused.

I don't think I rejected him. He has always known how I feel about him. He recently asked me if I loved him and I replied yes and asked if anything was wrong with that. He said no, it wasn't.

At this point, I can't really say why he gets jealous or upset when he thinks I'm around another guy but I can only take him at his word when he says he doesn't want me in "that way". It's hurtful and disappointing but there is nothing for me to do at this point.
:-/

Ok.. I'm seriously confused...

He asks her if she loves him... she says, yes

BUT He has told her that he doesn't want her "in that way"...

He plays games.. by showing her his ex blowing up his phone.. to get a reaction out of her..

But he is the only one that is "stepping up?" sounds like some bullshit to me... but if you can enlighten me on this i would love to learn something new...

If someone says they don't want you in that way... LISTEN! and walk. If they are lying... it is for them to figure out, not you

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Shellshocker--

That's what was confusing me on here because I was never rejecting him. He was rejecting me but then saying little things to confuse me. But I have read and know now that Scorpios, heck, any man that truly wants you will show his interest and not play games. After all, he had an ex which meant he is capable of getting into relationships. I hate the hot and cold. But everyone is right in saying "move on from this guy". He is wasting my time. 😢

Posted by LunarMaiden
Get a new man in your life please. In fact get two! This one is defunct.

Lol haha. Will do!

The problem is that I keep either meeting men with like 4 kids or men who are strict in their religious beliefs and try to make me conform. Lol. Oh life! 🙂

Just a rant here but now he is purposely ignoring me after being talky smurf for a few days! I told him I needed to call him back later in the middle of another argument and not only did he hang up the phone but didn't bother to answer when I called back. Le sigh. I quit. :-/

Posted by everevolvingepithet

Posted by cancergirl721

Posted by LunarMaiden
Get a new man in your life please. In fact get two! This one is defunct.

Lol haha. Will do!

The problem is that I keep either meeting men with like 4 kids or men who are strict in their religious beliefs and try to make me conform. Lol. Oh life! 🙂

Change your social circles a bit possibly? not all men are like that lol.

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Yea I know! I just thought it was hilarious!! Thank you!! :-P

hehehehehe us scorps and our games !!!!! like reading about myself !

Posted by amormztocurler
hehehehehe us scorps and our games !!!!! like reading about myself !

So you are also guilty of this huh? Lol