Mels
@Mels
7 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 45 · Topics: 2
Scorpio man...guidance will be appreciated. Piscean woman
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Hi Mel, as a Scorpio man who has the same passion and intensity... I understand your confusion and not sure if my words will help. It sounds to me he his totally trapped between the genuine uncontrollable deep feelings a Scorpio posses particularly when it comes to affairs of the heart. Because you have had a friendship prior to the passion and lustful connection I have no doubt that he does feel how he says he does. However due to the extreme loyalty and morality battle in his head he is trying to do the right thing for his family as this is at this time the most important thing for him. The connection between you both i think is real and if he was single and knowing about how rare a Scorpion man feels this way then he would be with you but us Scorpion males its all or nothing we don't really do affairs. My advice would be to remain friends platonically as hard as it is and when the time is right and he can no longer hide his feelings to himself and tolerate the loveless relationship he is in there is not much more you can do... But you have to put your needs first too and should you find someone else while waiting for him then go with it. If you try to force his hand you'll lose him... He needs to figure his thoughts out himself be a friend from a distance but do not let him cross that line again for your own sake until he can give you all you need. This will drive him crazy for you as true love lust and desire for someone builds and builds and is too much for us to bare.
HOPE THIS HELPS IN SOME WAY
HOPE THIS HELPS IN SOME WAY
Being rejected for the side ho position. Ouch.
What’s your end game here? What, ideally, do you want from all of this...from him.
Married.
Even if he left his wife and family for you....
Why would you want a man like that?
Btw....the passion and intensity you felt when you hooked up only existed because of the circumstances in which you hooked up
it's not because you have some special connection
it's because of the taboo nature of it all.
if he were single and you were single....it wouldn't feel the same.
Why would you want a man like that?
Btw....the passion and intensity you felt when you hooked up only existed because of the circumstances in which you hooked up
it's not because you have some special connection
it's because of the taboo nature of it all.
if he were single and you were single....it wouldn't feel the same.
Posted by MelsToo late. You both definitely already did that.
But I assured him that I will never compromise his family.
You made a mistake. Chemistry can be so intense it obliterates what you thought were your morals, at least in the moment. It happens to people every day, but you have to put your self in the other woman's shoes and not pursue it for the sake of his family, and him, if you care about him. He's not doing the right thing for the people he cares about most and can't see that now for whatever reason. If you feel you're his soulmate, love him by helping him do that. He'll probably come back around to you when he gets the itch again, his relationship gets stale/boring, and it'll be much harder to resist him now bc you miss him and you've already gone there and had that experience. See other men, do whatever you need to, to get your mind off of this man, however partial it is.
You just have to decide at some point what kind of person you want to be. Your actions so far are those of the typical self-centered homewrecker. Not having done this exact thing, I'm certain that I've damaged another marriage by my indiscretion before so no judgment from me, but to stay in it will just do more damage to all involved, and these things seldom seem to work out in the sidechick's favor.
I would think the hardest part for you would be learning to forgive yourself once you get enough space, and the chemistry fades enough for you to take a sober look at this. That's just me though. Some people pursue things like this so far, learn to push their guilt and conscience aside for their own necessity/survival along that path, and become something/someone else entirely....If he has children though especially, consider that you could really be hurting them if you pursue this....
Seeking attention sometimes backfires, Lesson learned I guess. You knew what you get into.
get yoself a new scorp man.
Posted by LadyNeptuneI knew from the beginning he will never leave his family. He pursued me since the beginning. I thought because I am single at the moment I can fill a void in my life and do the same in his without feelings. I didn’t know even the ‘one’ time affair was going to blow me away.
What’s your end game here? What, ideally, do you want from all of this...from him.
Anyway. Thanks for your help. I do appreciate it.
He’s not going to leave his wife and kids.
He used you for a good time.
Move on.
He used you for a good time.
Move on.
Posted by MetatronYes you are right.Posted by MelsToo late. You both definitely already did that.
But I assured him that I will never compromise his family.
You made a mistake. Chemistry can be so intense it obliterates what you thought were your morals, at least in the moment. It happens to people every day, but you have to put your self in the other woman's shoes and not pursue it for the sake of his family, and him, if you care about him. He's not doing the right thing for the people he cares about most and can't see that now for whatever reason. If you feel you're his soulmate, love him by helping him do that. He'll probably come back around to you when he gets the itch again, his relationship gets stale/boring, and it'll be much harder to resist him now bc you miss him and you've already gone there and had that experience. See other men, do whatever you need to, to get your mind off of this man, however partial it is.
You just have to decide at some point what kind of person you want to be. Your actions so far are those of the typical self-centered homewrecker. Not having done this exact thing, I'm certain that I've damaged another marriage by my indiscretion before so no judgment from me, but to stay in it will just do more damage to all involved, and these things seldom seem to work out in the sidechick's favor.
I would think the hardest part for you would be learning to forgive yourself once you get enough space, and the chemistry fades enough for you to take a sober look at this. That's just me though. Some people pursue things like this so far, learn to push their guilt and conscience aside for their own necessity/survival along that path, and become something/someone else entirely....If he has children though especially, consider that you could really be hurting them if you pursue this....click to expand
I’ve never done the homewrecker whore thing in my life. I’ve always had respectable relationships. It was never my intention to hurt anyone. He pursued me for a while. We only went on for two dates and intimate once. The first date initiation was solely Friendly in my end. It evolved into something more during the date.
Hell I thought I was single and we can fill a void in each other’s lives for the time being.
He’s done this before. 4 times before me in a 22 year marriage. He said he lacks intimacy and passion in his life.
I gave him that in our two dates. The second date was so intense. He wanted more. He told me the day after. Then the third day I noticed the changes in his text and I confronted him. That was when he told me that he thinks I’m in love with him already. That he doesn’t want to hurt me and string me along.
I didn’t beg or say much after that. I gave him his space. Understood. Sad.
It’s been 4 weeks now. I didn’t know that 1 time affair was going to hurt like this.
A live and learn experience. I finally know about myself that I can’t sleep with someone and not have feelings. Note to self.
Thank you so much for your guidance. His image still haunts me. Will be for a while. We all deserve love. The right way.
Thank you.
Posted by Bridgo1978Thank you for your message. I am crying as I am reading. It was a one time affair and it did it to me. He did message me once and asked to be friends. A couple days later I said no because I don’t want to be the ‘homewrecker whore’. And I confessed my feelings for him. He understood and said ok.
Hi Mel, as a Scorpio man who has the same passion and intensity... I understand your confusion and not sure if my words will help. It sounds to me he his totally trapped between the genuine uncontrollable deep feelings a Scorpio posses particularly when it comes to affairs of the heart. Because you have had a friendship prior to the passion and lustful connection I have no doubt that he does feel how he says he does. However due to the extreme loyalty and morality battle in his head he is trying to do the right thing for his family as this is at this time the most important thing for him. The connection between you both i think is real and if he was single and knowing about how rare a Scorpion man feels this way then he would be with you but us Scorpion males its all or nothing we don't really do affairs. My advice would be to remain friends platonically as hard as it is and when the time is right and he can no longer hide his feelings to himself and tolerate the loveless relationship he is in there is not much more you can do... But you have to put your needs first too and should you find someone else while waiting for him then go with it. If you try to force his hand you'll lose him... He needs to figure his thoughts out himself be a friend from a distance but do not let him cross that line again for your own sake until he can give you all you need. This will drive him crazy for you as true love lust and desire for someone builds and builds and is too much for us to bare.
HOPE THIS HELPS IN SOME WAY
I wished him happy holidays last week. He did the same in return. Wishing me the love I deserve in 2018.
Sad short lived affair.
Thank you so so much for your message. Happy new year to you. 😉
Posted by MelsWith something like this, as the pain subsides with time you'll thank yourself that you broke away sooner rather than later. Its a habit for him and he's obviously able to detach. You would have only become more deeply embedded, even with just a friendship, and it would hurt and linger on that much more when it finally ended...
Thank you so much for your guidance. His image still haunts me. Will be for a while. We all deserve love. The right way.
Yeah your soul mates alright karmic ones ..... You both will have to learn hard painful lesson ... Either let go... Or be emotionally tortured .... Understand if you're looking for longevity with this man... And you already went into the relationship deceptive as hell ... Expect a kick back of torture ... How on earth do you expect to birth anything fruitful to anyone with other people lives involved .... Meaning this man's family .... Innocent to your drama .... Do you really think God will honor that soul mate connection .... Nah .... God will give you a lesson... A hard one if you don't leave this mess alone... Because that's just what it is.... Mess... These karmic connections (soul mates) they be real intense usually hard to break away from because the sex is bomb and you get hypnotized by it... Basically it's a trap.... You do dirt .... It comes back plain and simple ...
Posted by BottabingYes that is very true. I do believe that it was a lesson to be learned. Sigh. Moving on
Yeah your soul mates alright karmic ones ..... You both will have to learn hard painful lesson ... Either let go... Or be emotionally tortured .... Understand if you're looking for longevity with this man... And you already went into the relationship deceptive as hell ... Expect a kick back of torture ... How on earth do you expect to birth anything fruitful to anyone with other people lives involved .... Meaning this man's family .... Innocent to your drama .... Do you really think God will honor that soul mate connection .... Nah .... God will give you a lesson... A hard one if you don't leave this mess alone... Because that's just what it is.... Mess... These karmic connections (soul mates) they be real intense usually hard to break away from because the sex is bomb and you get hypnotized by it... Basically it's a trap.... You do dirt .... It comes back plain and simple ...
Posted by EllygantI already taken him off social media. Healing already. I just couldn’t believe that even a one time affair led me to this crazy mode in my head. I will never jeopardise his family. Not that kinda person. Basically filling a void in my life at the time and yes I am paying for it now. Sigh.
He’s done it four other times before you?
Sounds like a really romantic selfish asshole.
Also no grown woman expects nothing to happen from going on friendly dates with a married man. You knew what you were doing because you say yourself that you know you got yourself into this mess.
As an outside party, your confusion sounds more like your morality conflicting with passing emotions. That’s all they are, passing. You have enough reality in front of you to accept what this was, a moral lacking fling. It’s tough and painful, but the more you hold onto that the easier it will be to resolve your feelings and move on.
Couldn’t hurt to block his number too until the worst of the emotions fade.
Posted by Mels
First off... please don’t judge me. It’s hard as it is.
Met this Scorpio man through work. Over a year. We were friends. He’s married. Yes. I know!
Totally platonic and friendly for a year a bit. He added me on Facebook and finally communicated over texts. Still friendly and platonic. Very sporadic here and there messages.
Then it happened.
Friendly invite (from me) to a bookstore. Accepted. Then it turned into something more...
We agreed to meet the next weekend. The sexual explosion and intensity was so strong that it made an imprint in my head. And heart. He lacked passion and intimacy at home and that’s what he needed. I gave him that. Even that one night was over the top amazing. He said the Facebook add was no coincidence. He wanted me a long time ago. Anyway.
He ended it a few days after that. I knew what I was getting myself into. I knew he will never leave his family. I was clear in my mind. But I can’t stop thinking about it. The way he looked at me. Wow. Like I was the only woman alive.
We met shortly at my work after that. Professionally and such. He texted to ask me if it was ok to be friends. I was still a little upset because I don’t know if I was just a notch on his belt or he is afraid I will tell his family. I told him no. No friendship. With a heavy heart.
I wrote him a couple days after that saying I felt like we were soulmates. He said he felt the same but he doesn’t want to hurt me. Yet he was considering continueing the affair. We worked out some logistics and such and I agreed. A couple more texts here and there then he backed out again.
Second rejection. 😢
Last time I contacted him was a week ago. I confessed to him that I had some feelings and was hurt. But I assured him that I will never compromise his family. I wished him all the best and luck in the New Years.
He wrote back and said he knew I had feelings and that’s why he needed to end it. To not string me along and he doesn’t want to hurt me. He felt the chemistry and intensity too but he had to. No contact after that.
I am lost. Confused. Going nuts.
I’d so appreciate any one out there to give me some advise. I know he’s married. I know it was bad. I couldn’t help it. It just happened. Sigh.
What type of advice are you seeking exactly? To move on or to try to continue a relationship with him? You response will determine mine.
Posted by PhoenixRisingNot sure to be honest. Just really enjoyed the short lived affair. Maybe perhaps seeking the truth. Was I just a notch on the belt or he actually cared. It was so intense that I couldn’t even fathom the reality.Posted by Mels
First off... please don’t judge me. It’s hard as it is.
Met this Scorpio man through work. Over a year. We were friends. He’s married. Yes. I know!
Totally platonic and friendly for a year a bit. He added me on Facebook and finally communicated over texts. Still friendly and platonic. Very sporadic here and there messages.
Then it happened.
Friendly invite (from me) to a bookstore. Accepted. Then it turned into something more...
We agreed to meet the next weekend. The sexual explosion and intensity was so strong that it made an imprint in my head. And heart. He lacked passion and intimacy at home and that’s what he needed. I gave him that. Even that one night was over the top amazing. He said the Facebook add was no coincidence. He wanted me a long time ago. Anyway.
He ended it a few days after that. I knew what I was getting myself into. I knew he will never leave his family. I was clear in my mind. But I can’t stop thinking about it. The way he looked at me. Wow. Like I was the only woman alive.
We met shortly at my work after that. Professionally and such. He texted to ask me if it was ok to be friends. I was still a little upset because I don’t know if I was just a notch on his belt or he is afraid I will tell his family. I told him no. No friendship. With a heavy heart.
I wrote him a couple days after that saying I felt like we were soulmates. He said he felt the same but he doesn’t want to hurt me. Yet he was considering continueing the affair. We worked out some logistics and such and I agreed. A couple more texts here and there then he backed out again.
Second rejection. 😢
Last time I contacted him was a week ago. I confessed to him that I had some feelings and was hurt. But I assured him that I will never compromise his family. I wished him all the best and luck in the New Years.
He wrote back and said he knew I had feelings and that’s why he needed to end it. To not string me along and he doesn’t want to hurt me. He felt the chemistry and intensity too but he had to. No contact after that.
I am lost. Confused. Going nuts.
I’d so appreciate any one out there to give me some advise. I know he’s married. I know it was bad. I couldn’t help it. It just happened. Sigh.
What type of advice are you seeking exactly? To move on or to try to continue a relationship with him? You response will determine mine.
click to expand
I knew he will never leave his wife. I’m not delusional. Seriously confused to be honest here.
Posted by peachy06
"I couldn’t help it. It just happened."
Yes you could, you're just too weak.
Yes you’re right. I was. Doesn’t make me a lesser person. He was equally in the shits because he was the one who pursued me relentlessly for a year.
I’m single. Why the hell not? I have no one else to answer to. I am being realistic here. He filled a void in my life even for a short while and I did for him.
Yes it bit me in my ass here with feelings I didn’t know would develop. So here I am. I’m not denying the fact that it was a bad decision.
Anyway. Happy new year to you. Just wanted some guidance that’s all.
Posted by lesenfantterriblesHappy new year to you. Came here for some guidance. If you didn’t have anything helpful to say and here only to criticise other people then I’m sure there are others that will entertain that.
as much as i love a taboo romance, these scorpio threads lately are just too much.
cant fuck around w/ this “i couldnt resist a married man” bullshit.
Anyway thank you anyway for commenting. Have a great next year.
Posted by peachy06Posted by MelsYes you are right. I wanted more. Obviously. But the fault isn’t just on my end. EVERYONE think it’s all the ‘homewrecker whore’s fault. Oh please. The man is also at fault equally. If not more.Posted by peachy06Actually it does. Stop finding yourself some excuses, even though he pursued you "relentlessly", you liked it and wanted more. Your weak mind couldn't say no and you gave in. Damn it PIsces and your eternal victim card.
"I couldn’t help it. It just happened."
Yes you could, you're just too weak.
https://media.giphy.
Yes you’re right. I was. Doesn’t make me a lesser person. He was equally in the shits because he was the one who pursued me relentlessly for a year.
I’m single. Why the hell not? I have no one else to answer to. I am being realistic here. He filled a void in my life even for a short while and I did for him.
Yes it bit me in my ass here with feelings I didn’t know would develop. So here I am. I’m not denying the fact that it was a bad decision.
Anyway. Happy new year to you. Just wanted some guidance that’s all.click to expand
Regardless there’s no victim here. I’m not justifying what I’ve done. In fact please reread the last message. Clearly I said I take the responsibility on my end too.
YOU MUST HAVE BEEN CHEATED ON BEFORE. So you’re finding a way to unleash it on someone else. I’m here to ask for some guidance. But I understand that on the internet there are many types of human beings like yourself out there that leads a very sad life and enjoys hiding behind a nick name and bullies other people.
I feel sorry for you actually.
I hope 2018 will be better for you.
Take care peachy06.
Posted by Ikyfl
He’s cheated on his wife a total of 5 times and you think you have deep feelings for him?
Not exactly deep feelings. I was just curious to know if I was just a notch on the belt or if he did have feelings for me.
I know this relationship will not go anywhere regardless. He expressed clearly from the beginning that he will never leave his wife.
I never expected him to.
Even if he did I don’t think I want him as a life partner given his track record.
I have feelings for him because I lost a friend. We were friends for more than a year. Also yes the intimacy was mind blowing. I am also quite intuitive and I know he felt something too.
Anyway. Just wanted some guidance. That’s all. Thank you.
Happy new year.
Posted by IkyflI don’t think I am to be honest. Or genuinely I don’t know. He never expressed to me how he truly felt. Or if anything at all.Posted by MelsYou said you told him you felt like soulmates. How are you soulmates without deep feelings?Posted by Ikyfl
He’s cheated on his wife a total of 5 times and you think you have deep feelings for him?
Not exactly deep feelings. I was just curious to know if I was just a notch on the belt or if he did have feelings for me.
I know this relationship will not go anywhere regardless. He expressed clearly from the beginning that he will never leave his wife.
I never expected him to.
Even if he did I don’t think I want him as a life partner given his track record.
I have feelings for him because I lost a friend. We were friends for more than a year. Also yes the intimacy was mind blowing. I am also quite intuitive and I know he felt something too.
Anyway. Just wanted some guidance. That’s all. Thank you.
Happy new year.
I’m not judging you. My own grandmother carried on an affair for 20 years with a married man and he wanted to leave his wife for my grandma.
But this man has had 5 affairs. Why would you think you’re special or different to him? Serious question.click to expand
To me it was lust I won’t deny. But the connection even just one time was mind blowing. I’m 39. He’s 49. I’ve been in many relationships. Never felt this way before. Mind you I’ve never had an affair before with any married man.
Love? No. Not yet.
But intense connection? Definitely.
The stare. The touch. The sex. He came twice within half and hour. Not a joke. He admitted that he’s never had that before. Hell hes 49. Close to impossible.
Anyway. Perhaps I just wanted 1 or 2 more of this intense feeling that’s all. It was addictive. Like a drug.
I swear I am not crazy. I’m too old for crazy haha.
I came here hoping not to be shat on but some guidance. That’s all.
Anyway. Thank you. If that means anything to anyone.
Have a great new year.
Firstly, let’s just get this out of the way:
Now. You’re all over the place and come with not very thought through excuses. I’m not going to point out all of your conflicting statements, but here’s my “guidance”: be more self-aware.
You’ve been quite defensive to other people’s replies to your initial post. Open your mind before you open your mouth on this one. You knew most people will not condone this kind of delusion, yet you react so indignant to their replies. The same way you venture into a dalliance with a man with so low moral fibre, and wonder if you were special to him. Not even his wife is special to him, how could you or any other woman be.
Why do you want to be special to him? Contemplate on the obvious, why you ventured into something with someone who is unattainable to you.
I think you should start liking yourself more. Have some self-respect. Not only are you getting involved with a man that is an arsehole as plain as day, you’re involving yourself with an unattainable arsehole.
You might normally be intuitive, and clever and all that, but you come across in your posts as someone who has their blinders up. You don’t see yourself, nor do you see him.
You want to know whether you were just another notch in his belt. It’s not the sex he’s not “getting” at home, it’s about creating a fantasy orbiting his ego. With you he could portray himself in a certain way, which he can’t with his wife who truly knows him. But with you, a woman that doesn’t really know him and he doesn’t really know you either. You do the same, you would rather have the fantasy than reality, therefore you’re spending your time on something unattainable. He doesn’t want your feelings. The both of you were probably terribly unrealistic about each other, so HOW COULD you have a special connection?
You also seem unrealistic about how your actions can affect others around you. How can you be so nonchalant and flippant about this? It’s very immature. It didn’t just happen. “The first date initiation was solely Friendly in my end”. How do you go on a friendly date with a married man exactly?
Just the mere fact that you write “Why shouldn’t I, I’m single”, and “He did message me once and asked to be friends. A couple days later I said no because I don’t want to be the ‘homewrecker whore’” - Now, I’m not calling you any such names, but the deed is already done. He is the one betraying his relationship, yes, but come on, you’re betraying yourself and you’re hurting other people. And what about the energy you are creating and sending out in your own life? What positive outcome were you expecting for your own soul in this? You weren’t. You’re being self-destructive.
Now, I’ve never cheated, nor am I a woman scorned, so I don’t know much about cheating husbands, but the “Oh, he’s just seeking sex and affection that he isn’t getting at home”, sounds like such a cliché, and shows of even more immaturity on both you’re parts -“it’s his wife’s fault he's cheating, see”. I can hardly see the screen while typing, my eyes are rolling so far back into my head.
You don’t know anything about his 22 years of marriage, other than how he’s chosen to portray it to you. For all you know, he has taboo sex with you, and then goes home for some mind-blowing LOVE-MAKING with his wife, with his ego all fired up. You could’ve basically played the role of the fluffer. All while he probably has three other women in the wings.
There were 4 women before you, and there will be another you down the line for him. I’m sure he had a really special connection with all 4 of the other mistresses too... The “friendship” is to have you on a convenient back-burner, and keep you sweet so as to not expose him.
I think you know this, deep down. Connect with yourself, and seek and create truthfulness and authenticity in your life, love will follow.
Now. You’re all over the place and come with not very thought through excuses. I’m not going to point out all of your conflicting statements, but here’s my “guidance”: be more self-aware.
You’ve been quite defensive to other people’s replies to your initial post. Open your mind before you open your mouth on this one. You knew most people will not condone this kind of delusion, yet you react so indignant to their replies. The same way you venture into a dalliance with a man with so low moral fibre, and wonder if you were special to him. Not even his wife is special to him, how could you or any other woman be.
Why do you want to be special to him? Contemplate on the obvious, why you ventured into something with someone who is unattainable to you.
I think you should start liking yourself more. Have some self-respect. Not only are you getting involved with a man that is an arsehole as plain as day, you’re involving yourself with an unattainable arsehole.
You might normally be intuitive, and clever and all that, but you come across in your posts as someone who has their blinders up. You don’t see yourself, nor do you see him.
You want to know whether you were just another notch in his belt. It’s not the sex he’s not “getting” at home, it’s about creating a fantasy orbiting his ego. With you he could portray himself in a certain way, which he can’t with his wife who truly knows him. But with you, a woman that doesn’t really know him and he doesn’t really know you either. You do the same, you would rather have the fantasy than reality, therefore you’re spending your time on something unattainable. He doesn’t want your feelings. The both of you were probably terribly unrealistic about each other, so HOW COULD you have a special connection?
You also seem unrealistic about how your actions can affect others around you. How can you be so nonchalant and flippant about this? It’s very immature. It didn’t just happen. “The first date initiation was solely Friendly in my end”. How do you go on a friendly date with a married man exactly?
Just the mere fact that you write “Why shouldn’t I, I’m single”, and “He did message me once and asked to be friends. A couple days later I said no because I don’t want to be the ‘homewrecker whore’” - Now, I’m not calling you any such names, but the deed is already done. He is the one betraying his relationship, yes, but come on, you’re betraying yourself and you’re hurting other people. And what about the energy you are creating and sending out in your own life? What positive outcome were you expecting for your own soul in this? You weren’t. You’re being self-destructive.
Now, I’ve never cheated, nor am I a woman scorned, so I don’t know much about cheating husbands, but the “Oh, he’s just seeking sex and affection that he isn’t getting at home”, sounds like such a cliché, and shows of even more immaturity on both you’re parts -“it’s his wife’s fault he's cheating, see”. I can hardly see the screen while typing, my eyes are rolling so far back into my head.
You don’t know anything about his 22 years of marriage, other than how he’s chosen to portray it to you. For all you know, he has taboo sex with you, and then goes home for some mind-blowing LOVE-MAKING with his wife, with his ego all fired up. You could’ve basically played the role of the fluffer. All while he probably has three other women in the wings.
There were 4 women before you, and there will be another you down the line for him. I’m sure he had a really special connection with all 4 of the other mistresses too... The “friendship” is to have you on a convenient back-burner, and keep you sweet so as to not expose him.
I think you know this, deep down. Connect with yourself, and seek and create truthfulness and authenticity in your life, love will follow.
Posted by StarslikeyouThank you for your post. It was hard to read but truthful. I really do appreciate your guidance. I’ve never felt so raw and exposed as I was reading and re-reading your words.
Firstly, let’s just get this out of the way:
Now. You’re all over the place and come with not very thought through excuses. I’m not going to point out all of your conflicting statements, but here’s my “guidance”: be more self-aware.
You’ve been quite defensive to other people’s replies to your initial post. Open your mind before you open your mouth on this one. You knew most people will not condone this kind of delusion, yet you react so indignant to their replies. The same way you venture into a dalliance with a man with so low moral fibre, and wonder if you were special to him. Not even his wife is special to him, how could you or any other woman be.
Why do you want to be special to him? Contemplate on the obvious, why you ventured into something with someone who is unattainable to you.
I think you should start liking yourself more. Have some self-respect. Not only are you getting involved with a man that is an arsehole as plain as day, you’re involving yourself with an unattainable arsehole.
You might normally be intuitive, and clever and all that, but you come across in your posts as someone who has their blinders up. You don’t see yourself, nor do you see him.
You want to know whether you were just another notch in his belt. It’s not the sex he’s not “getting” at home, it’s about creating a fantasy orbiting his ego. With you he could portray himself in a certain way, which he can’t with his wife who truly knows him. But with you, a woman that doesn’t really know him and he doesn’t really know you either. You do the same, you would rather have the fantasy than reality, therefore you’re spending your time on something unattainable. He doesn’t want your feelings. The both of you were probably terribly unrealistic about each other, so HOW COULD you have a special connection?
You also seem unrealistic about how your actions can affect others around you. How can you be so nonchalant and flippant about this? It’s very immature. It didn’t just happen. “The first date initiation was solely Friendly in my end”. How do you go on a friendly date with a married man exactly?
Just the mere fact that you write “Why shouldn’t I, I’m single”, and “He did message me once and asked to be friends. A couple days later I said no because I don’t want to be the ‘homewrecker whore’” - Now, I’m not calling you any such names, but the deed is already done. He is the one betraying his relationship, yes, but come on, you’re betraying yourself and you’re hurting other people. And what about the energy you are creating and sending out in your own life? What positive outcome were you expecting for your own soul in this? You weren’t. You’re being self-destructive.
Now, I’ve never cheated, nor am I a woman scorned, so I don’t know much about cheating husbands, but the “Oh, he’s just seeking sex and affection that he isn’t getting at home”, sounds like such a cliché, and shows of even more immaturity on both you’re parts -“it’s his wife’s fault he's cheating, see”. I can hardly see the screen while typing, my eyes are rolling so far back into my head. You don’t know anything about his 22 years of marriage either, other than how he’s chosen to portray it to you. For all you know, he has taboo sex with you, and then goes home for some mind-blowing LOVE-MAKING with his wife, fired up with his ego all pumped up. You could’ve basically played the role of the fluffer. All while he probably has three other women in the wings.
There were 4 women before you, and there will be another you down the line for him. I’m sure he had a really special connection with all 4 of the other mistresses too... The “friendship” is to have you on a convenient back-burner, and keep you sweet so as to not expose him.
I think you know this, deep down. Connect with yourself, and seek and create truthfulness and authenticity in your life, love will follow.
I didn’t come here to be criticised by other people but what did I expect? Right? I knew crap will rain down on me from some commenters because the topic isn’t a favourable one. I did come to seek clarity or perhaps some truth.
I have to say that I do now. You are right about the situation. About me even though you don’t know me. I carried emotional baggage from past experiences and I still do.
New year. New life.
Thank you so much for your truthful comment. For what it’s worth I thank you.
Happy new year.
Posted by MelsHow old are you? 23? 24?Posted by MetatronYes you are right.Posted by MelsToo late. You both definitely already did that.
But I assured him that I will never compromise his family.
You made a mistake. Chemistry can be so intense it obliterates what you thought were your morals, at least in the moment. It happens to people every day, but you have to put your self in the other woman's shoes and not pursue it for the sake of his family, and him, if you care about him. He's not doing the right thing for the people he cares about most and can't see that now for whatever reason. If you feel you're his soulmate, love him by helping him do that. He'll probably come back around to you when he gets the itch again, his relationship gets stale/boring, and it'll be much harder to resist him now bc you miss him and you've already gone there and had that experience. See other men, do whatever you need to, to get your mind off of this man, however partial it is.
You just have to decide at some point what kind of person you want to be. Your actions so far are those of the typical self-centered homewrecker. Not having done this exact thing, I'm certain that I've damaged another marriage by my indiscretion before so no judgment from me, but to stay in it will just do more damage to all involved, and these things seldom seem to work out in the sidechick's favor.
I would think the hardest part for you would be learning to forgive yourself once you get enough space, and the chemistry fades enough for you to take a sober look at this. That's just me though. Some people pursue things like this so far, learn to push their guilt and conscience aside for their own necessity/survival along that path, and become something/someone else entirely....If he has children though especially, consider that you could really be hurting them if you pursue this....
I’ve never done the homewrecker whore thing in my life. I’ve always had respectable relationships. It was never my intention to hurt anyone. He pursued me for a while. We only went on for two dates and intimate once. The first date initiation was solely Friendly in my end. It evolved into something more during the date.
Hell I thought I was single and we can fill a void in each other’s lives for the time being.
He’s done this before. 4 times before me in a 22 year marriage. He said he lacks intimacy and passion in his life.
I gave him that in our two dates. The second date was so intense. He wanted more. He told me the day after. Then the third day I noticed the changes in his text and I confronted him. That was when he told me that he thinks I’m in love with him already. That he doesn’t want to hurt me and string me along.
I didn’t beg or say much after that. I gave him his space. Understood. Sad.
It’s been 4 weeks now. I didn’t know that 1 time affair was going to hurt like this.
A live and learn experience. I finally know about myself that I can’t sleep with someone and not have feelings. Note to self.
Thank you so much for your guidance. His image still haunts me. Will be for a while. We all deserve love. The right way.
Thank you.click to expand
Posted by MelsPosted by StarslikeyouThank you for your post. It was hard to read but truthful. I really do appreciate your guidance. I’ve never felt so raw and exposed as I was reading and re-reading your words.
Firstly, let’s just get this out of the way:
Now. You’re all over the place and come with not very thought through excuses. I’m not going to point out all of your conflicting statements, but here’s my “guidance”: be more self-aware.
You’ve been quite defensive to other people’s replies to your initial post. Open your mind before you open your mouth on this one. You knew most people will not condone this kind of delusion, yet you react so indignant to their replies. The same way you venture into a dalliance with a man with so low moral fibre, and wonder if you were special to him. Not even his wife is special to him, how could you or any other woman be.
Why do you want to be special to him? Contemplate on the obvious, why you ventured into something with someone who is unattainable to you.
I think you should start liking yourself more. Have some self-respect. Not only are you getting involved with a man that is an arsehole as plain as day, you’re involving yourself with an unattainable arsehole.
You might normally be intuitive, and clever and all that, but you come across in your posts as someone who has their blinders up. You don’t see yourself, nor do you see him.
You want to know whether you were just another notch in his belt. It’s not the sex he’s not “getting” at home, it’s about creating a fantasy orbiting his ego. With you he could portray himself in a certain way, which he can’t with his wife who truly knows him. But with you, a woman that doesn’t really know him and he doesn’t really know you either. You do the same, you would rather have the fantasy than reality, therefore you’re spending your time on something unattainable. He doesn’t want your feelings. The both of you were probably terribly unrealistic about each other, so HOW COULD you have a special connection?
You also seem unrealistic about how your actions can affect others around you. How can you be so nonchalant and flippant about this? It’s very immature. It didn’t just happen. “The first date initiation was solely Friendly in my end”. How do you go on a friendly date with a married man exactly?
Just the mere fact that you write “Why shouldn’t I, I’m single”, and “He did message me once and asked to be friends. A couple days later I said no because I don’t want to be the ‘homewrecker whore’” - Now, I’m not calling you any such names, but the deed is already done. He is the one betraying his relationship, yes, but come on, you’re betraying yourself and you’re hurting other people. And what about the energy you are creating and sending out in your own life? What positive outcome were you expecting for your own soul in this? You weren’t. You’re being self-destructive.
Now, I’ve never cheated, nor am I a woman scorned, so I don’t know much about cheating husbands, but the “Oh, he’s just seeking sex and affection that he isn’t getting at home”, sounds like such a cliché, and shows of even more immaturity on both you’re parts -“it’s his wife’s fault he's cheating, see”. I can hardly see the screen while typing, my eyes are rolling so far back into my head. You don’t know anything about his 22 years of marriage either, other than how he’s chosen to portray it to you. For all you know, he has taboo sex with you, and then goes home for some mind-blowing LOVE-MAKING with his wife, fired up with his ego all pumped up. You could’ve basically played the role of the fluffer. All while he probably has three other women in the wings.
There were 4 women before you, and there will be another you down the line for him. I’m sure he had a really special connection with all 4 of the other mistresses too... The “friendship” is to have you on a convenient back-burner, and keep you sweet so as to not expose him.
I think you know this, deep down. Connect with yourself, and seek and create truthfulness and authenticity in your life, love will follow.
I didn’t come here to be criticised by other people but what did I expect? Right? I knew crap will rain down on me from some commenters because the topic isn’t a favourable one. I did come to seek clarity or perhaps some truth.
I have to say that I do now. You are right about the situation. About me even though you don’t know me. I carried emotional baggage from past experiences and I still do.
New year. New life.
Thank you so much for your truthful comment. For what it’s worth I thank you.
Happy new year.
click to expand
Now, this is why I love to read thru scorp forum. The wisdom some of you possess is just wow. I can find so much for myself in this threads. Thx from my side.
Mels.
Love is a growing sensation of trust in the other, together with admiration and respect for one's character traits and qualities. It seems that you know there is nothing like that you can find in this man.
The connection between you two is worth nothing in this situation, I know how strong it can be between two water signs. Addictive. Take it as chemistry or karma stuff sent to show you the path further, your choice, your belief. A mistake you made, can be used by you as a learning experience to make progress and deal with emotional baggage you mentioned.
You are ok. One of the rare Pisces that seems to actually listen to others and posses some introspection in the right direction, even if you are still under intense illusions and projections which can be confusing and exhausting.
Posted by halalbaeNot at all for me. Never dated or even considered married men before. This was the first time. Only a one night affair.
Some women love a taken man. Magnified if hes legally married
Trying to deal with a single man is too high risk lol might as well just date the ones that other women have vetted as relationship material?
Bit me in the ass already. Not going that route again.
Posted by halalbaei'm beginning to understand deeply why women do like the taken ones.lol
Some women love a taken man. Magnified if hes legally married
Trying to deal with a single man is too high risk lol might as well just date the ones that other women have vetted as relationship material?
not that they want to take away the man of course, but a single man who has been alone for many years, is a big red flag to them. they dont even want to get close anymore lol
a man who is taken gives off a good amount of phermones, that he is wanted and desired. And if he is wanted and desired, the women go...hmmm there is something wonderful about him that other women desire too! there is unconscious or subconsciousness that women can tell a taken man is special. (most taken men are good men thats why they are taken)
ever hear the saying that alot of women get upset about? "If only he weren't married OR gay"
or, "the good ones are always taken or gay!!"
single men are not desired for some reason.
edit they seem kind of creepy to alot of women .....distant and alone and overall creepy. lol
than someone who is loved and cared for and taken.
i mean do you ever hear...
"I want that SINGLE lonely man over there!! grrr growllll" there should be a saying for that right?
Posted by GemilitThank you for your stories. I really appreciate you taking your time helping someone you don’t know. I have deleted him off my social media as well as contact on phone.
You pisces woman... Why are you home wreckers? You only hurt your selves in the long run (and the whole family) Yes he's in the wrong but I don't know.... You knowing he was a married man should have made you stay WELL CLEAR! This kinda hurts me just reading it because I can tell he's completely stringing you along. You were a fuck and nothing more.... Want to hear a TRUE story (two in fact).
first- Scorpio man and cancer woman, One night out I saw my friends boyfriend (scorpio man) trying to get with my other friend (Gemini) and I flipped, Telling him wtf did he think he was doing and you know what he said? That she was just a shag and nothing more, He laughed and somehow convinced my friend of it to... But his girlfriend (my friend) had already told me everything... She adored him and sadly still does.
Second- Scorpio man (Dunno his girlfriends sign) But he told my virgo friend that his girlfriend was just so dull, Crazy and over paranoid, sufforcated him... made out he was sooooooooo unhappy. Fooled my friend... but do you see a pattern? They tell you what you WANT to hear... They will play the victim and make out their girlfriends are horrible but... That cancer girl is the sweetest thing you will ever know.... I truly HATE her boyfriend but she won't leave him...
I could actually tell you another story but I don't want to make this to long. Surface to say you were played... and well please just for your good stop what you're doing/trying to do.
Sadly I will see him once a week at my work but it’ll be fine. I’ve mastered the resting bitch face facade 😉
Thank you and happy new year again.
If you want to post the story you mentioned I’d like to hear it. That is if you have time.
Posted by AdreamuponwakingHaha. I wish.Posted by MelsHow old are you? 23? 24?Posted by MetatronYes you are right.Posted by MelsToo late. You both definitely already did that.
But I assured him that I will never compromise his family.
You made a mistake. Chemistry can be so intense it obliterates what you thought were your morals, at least in the moment. It happens to people every day, but you have to put your self in the other woman's shoes and not pursue it for the sake of his family, and him, if you care about him. He's not doing the right thing for the people he cares about most and can't see that now for whatever reason. If you feel you're his soulmate, love him by helping him do that. He'll probably come back around to you when he gets the itch again, his relationship gets stale/boring, and it'll be much harder to resist him now bc you miss him and you've already gone there and had that experience. See other men, do whatever you need to, to get your mind off of this man, however partial it is.
You just have to decide at some point what kind of person you want to be. Your actions so far are those of the typical self-centered homewrecker. Not having done this exact thing, I'm certain that I've damaged another marriage by my indiscretion before so no judgment from me, but to stay in it will just do more damage to all involved, and these things seldom seem to work out in the sidechick's favor.
I would think the hardest part for you would be learning to forgive yourself once you get enough space, and the chemistry fades enough for you to take a sober look at this. That's just me though. Some people pursue things like this so far, learn to push their guilt and conscience aside for their own necessity/survival along that path, and become something/someone else entirely....If he has children though especially, consider that you could really be hurting them if you pursue this....
I’ve never done the homewrecker whore thing in my life. I’ve always had respectable relationships. It was never my intention to hurt anyone. He pursued me for a while. We only went on for two dates and intimate once. The first date initiation was solely Friendly in my end. It evolved into something more during the date.
Hell I thought I was single and we can fill a void in each other’s lives for the time being.
He’s done this before. 4 times before me in a 22 year marriage. He said he lacks intimacy and passion in his life.
I gave him that in our two dates. The second date was so intense. He wanted more. He told me the day after. Then the third day I noticed the changes in his text and I confronted him. That was when he told me that he thinks I’m in love with him already. That he doesn’t want to hurt me and string me along.
I didn’t beg or say much after that. I gave him his space. Understood. Sad.
It’s been 4 weeks now. I didn’t know that 1 time affair was going to hurt like this.
A live and learn experience. I finally know about myself that I can’t sleep with someone and not have feelings. Note to self.
Thank you so much for your guidance. His image still haunts me. Will be for a while. We all deserve love. The right way.
Thank you.click to expand
I’m 39 and he’s 49.
Posted by MelsPosted by AdreamuponwakingHaha. I wish.Posted by MelsHow old are you? 23? 24?Posted by MetatronYes you are right.Posted by MelsToo late. You both definitely already did that.
But I assured him that I will never compromise his family.
You made a mistake. Chemistry can be so intense it obliterates what you thought were your morals, at least in the moment. It happens to people every day, but you have to put your self in the other woman's shoes and not pursue it for the sake of his family, and him, if you care about him. He's not doing the right thing for the people he cares about most and can't see that now for whatever reason. If you feel you're his soulmate, love him by helping him do that. He'll probably come back around to you when he gets the itch again, his relationship gets stale/boring, and it'll be much harder to resist him now bc you miss him and you've already gone there and had that experience. See other men, do whatever you need to, to get your mind off of this man, however partial it is.
You just have to decide at some point what kind of person you want to be. Your actions so far are those of the typical self-centered homewrecker. Not having done this exact thing, I'm certain that I've damaged another marriage by my indiscretion before so no judgment from me, but to stay in it will just do more damage to all involved, and these things seldom seem to work out in the sidechick's favor.
I would think the hardest part for you would be learning to forgive yourself once you get enough space, and the chemistry fades enough for you to take a sober look at this. That's just me though. Some people pursue things like this so far, learn to push their guilt and conscience aside for their own necessity/survival along that path, and become something/someone else entirely....If he has children though especially, consider that you could really be hurting them if you pursue this....
I’ve never done the homewrecker whore thing in my life. I’ve always had respectable relationships. It was never my intention to hurt anyone. He pursued me for a while. We only went on for two dates and intimate once. The first date initiation was solely Friendly in my end. It evolved into something more during the date.
Hell I thought I was single and we can fill a void in each other’s lives for the time being.
He’s done this before. 4 times before me in a 22 year marriage. He said he lacks intimacy and passion in his life.
I gave him that in our two dates. The second date was so intense. He wanted more. He told me the day after. Then the third day I noticed the changes in his text and I confronted him. That was when he told me that he thinks I’m in love with him already. That he doesn’t want to hurt me and string me along.
I didn’t beg or say much after that. I gave him his space. Understood. Sad.
It’s been 4 weeks now. I didn’t know that 1 time affair was going to hurt like this.
A live and learn experience. I finally know about myself that I can’t sleep with someone and not have feelings. Note to self.
Thank you so much for your guidance. His image still haunts me. Will be for a while. We all deserve love. The right way.
Thank you.
I’m 39 and he’s 49.click to expand
lol
well i can't use the excuse you are young and don't know any better
but i can use the excuse that he is having a mid life crisis lol.
but i'm not judging you btw
i'm just saying my cancer friend who is 60 yrs old and has two ex wives told me
how the side relationship he had during his first marriage lost it's spark once he was no longer married
i'm just saying my cancer friend who is 60 yrs old and has two ex wives told me
how the side relationship he had during his first marriage lost it's spark once he was no longer married
Posted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by MelsPosted by AdreamuponwakingHaha. I wish.Posted by MelsHow old are you? 23? 24?Posted by MetatronYes you are right.Posted by MelsToo late. You both definitely already did that.
But I assured him that I will never compromise his family.
You made a mistake. Chemistry can be so intense it obliterates what you thought were your morals, at least in the moment. It happens to people every day, but you have to put your self in the other woman's shoes and not pursue it for the sake of his family, and him, if you care about him. He's not doing the right thing for the people he cares about most and can't see that now for whatever reason. If you feel you're his soulmate, love him by helping him do that. He'll probably come back around to you when he gets the itch again, his relationship gets stale/boring, and it'll be much harder to resist him now bc you miss him and you've already gone there and had that experience. See other men, do whatever you need to, to get your mind off of this man, however partial it is.
You just have to decide at some point what kind of person you want to be. Your actions so far are those of the typical self-centered homewrecker. Not having done this exact thing, I'm certain that I've damaged another marriage by my indiscretion before so no judgment from me, but to stay in it will just do more damage to all involved, and these things seldom seem to work out in the sidechick's favor.
I would think the hardest part for you would be learning to forgive yourself once you get enough space, and the chemistry fades enough for you to take a sober look at this. That's just me though. Some people pursue things like this so far, learn to push their guilt and conscience aside for their own necessity/survival along that path, and become something/someone else entirely....If he has children though especially, consider that you could really be hurting them if you pursue this....
I’ve never done the homewrecker whore thing in my life. I’ve always had respectable relationships. It was never my intention to hurt anyone. He pursued me for a while. We only went on for two dates and intimate once. The first date initiation was solely Friendly in my end. It evolved into something more during the date.
Hell I thought I was single and we can fill a void in each other’s lives for the time being.
He’s done this before. 4 times before me in a 22 year marriage. He said he lacks intimacy and passion in his life.
I gave him that in our two dates. The second date was so intense. He wanted more. He told me the day after. Then the third day I noticed the changes in his text and I confronted him. That was when he told me that he thinks I’m in love with him already. That he doesn’t want to hurt me and string me along.
I didn’t beg or say much after that. I gave him his space. Understood. Sad.
It’s been 4 weeks now. I didn’t know that 1 time affair was going to hurt like this.
A live and learn experience. I finally know about myself that I can’t sleep with someone and not have feelings. Note to self.
Thank you so much for your guidance. His image still haunts me. Will be for a while. We all deserve love. The right way.
Thank you.
I’m 39 and he’s 49.
lol
well i can't use the excuse you are young and don't know any better
but i can use the excuse that he is having a mid life crisis lol.
click to expand
He wasn’t meant to be a long term thing for me. I’ve been divorced for a while with two kids. My children are the most important thing in my life.
I went into this ‘one time fling’ with a clear mind knowing it will only be a short term fling.
I will never consider a ‘cheater’ to infiltrate into my eventual long term life.
I was off a 3 year relationship and was sad and lonely for a bit he was pursuing me from work. We were friends for over a year.
Anyway. I let him in because I thought he can fill a void in my life just for the time being. And I his.
I just didn’t know that the intimacy was explosive and I would feel the way I do.
That’s all.
What I did learn from this experience is that I can never sleep with a man without having feelings. Just not the type to detach just like that.
Anyway thank you for your post.
Posted by Mels*hug*Posted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by MelsPosted by AdreamuponwakingHaha. I wish.Posted by MelsHow old are you? 23? 24?Posted by MetatronYes you are right.Posted by MelsToo late. You both definitely already did that.
But I assured him that I will never compromise his family.
You made a mistake. Chemistry can be so intense it obliterates what you thought were your morals, at least in the moment. It happens to people every day, but you have to put your self in the other woman's shoes and not pursue it for the sake of his family, and him, if you care about him. He's not doing the right thing for the people he cares about most and can't see that now for whatever reason. If you feel you're his soulmate, love him by helping him do that. He'll probably come back around to you when he gets the itch again, his relationship gets stale/boring, and it'll be much harder to resist him now bc you miss him and you've already gone there and had that experience. See other men, do whatever you need to, to get your mind off of this man, however partial it is.
You just have to decide at some point what kind of person you want to be. Your actions so far are those of the typical self-centered homewrecker. Not having done this exact thing, I'm certain that I've damaged another marriage by my indiscretion before so no judgment from me, but to stay in it will just do more damage to all involved, and these things seldom seem to work out in the sidechick's favor.
I would think the hardest part for you would be learning to forgive yourself once you get enough space, and the chemistry fades enough for you to take a sober look at this. That's just me though. Some people pursue things like this so far, learn to push their guilt and conscience aside for their own necessity/survival along that path, and become something/someone else entirely....If he has children though especially, consider that you could really be hurting them if you pursue this....
I’ve never done the homewrecker whore thing in my life. I’ve always had respectable relationships. It was never my intention to hurt anyone. He pursued me for a while. We only went on for two dates and intimate once. The first date initiation was solely Friendly in my end. It evolved into something more during the date.
Hell I thought I was single and we can fill a void in each other’s lives for the time being.
He’s done this before. 4 times before me in a 22 year marriage. He said he lacks intimacy and passion in his life.
I gave him that in our two dates. The second date was so intense. He wanted more. He told me the day after. Then the third day I noticed the changes in his text and I confronted him. That was when he told me that he thinks I’m in love with him already. That he doesn’t want to hurt me and string me along.
I didn’t beg or say much after that. I gave him his space. Understood. Sad.
It’s been 4 weeks now. I didn’t know that 1 time affair was going to hurt like this.
A live and learn experience. I finally know about myself that I can’t sleep with someone and not have feelings. Note to self.
Thank you so much for your guidance. His image still haunts me. Will be for a while. We all deserve love. The right way.
Thank you.
I’m 39 and he’s 49.
lol
well i can't use the excuse you are young and don't know any better
but i can use the excuse that he is having a mid life crisis lol.
He wasn’t meant to be a long term thing for me. I’ve been divorced for a while with two kids. My children are the most important thing in my life.
I went into this ‘one time fling’ with a clear mind knowing it will only be a short term fling.
I will never consider a ‘cheater’ to infiltrate into my eventual long term life.
I was off a 3 year relationship and was sad and lonely for a bit he was pursuing me from work. We were friends for over a year.
Anyway. I let him in because I thought he can fill a void in my life just for the time being. And I his.
I just didn’t know that the intimacy was explosive and I would feel the way I do.
That’s all.
What I did learn from this experience is that I can never sleep with a man without having feelings. Just not the type to detach just like that.
Anyway thank you for your post.click to expand
i'm sorry.
i wish i could make you a cup of hot cocoa.
divorce can be so painful.
but i'm glad you learned something from your rendezvous from the scorpio man.
i'm the same way when it comes to sex.
it's been 6 years.
Posted by AdreamuponwakingWell let 2018 be a better year for all of us. Thank you for your comfort. Internet can be so brutal. HahaPosted by Mels*hug*Posted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by MelsPosted by AdreamuponwakingHaha. I wish.Posted by MelsHow old are you? 23? 24?Posted by MetatronYes you are right.Posted by MelsToo late. You both definitely already did that.
But I assured him that I will never compromise his family.
You made a mistake. Chemistry can be so intense it obliterates what you thought were your morals, at least in the moment. It happens to people every day, but you have to put your self in the other woman's shoes and not pursue it for the sake of his family, and him, if you care about him. He's not doing the right thing for the people he cares about most and can't see that now for whatever reason. If you feel you're his soulmate, love him by helping him do that. He'll probably come back around to you when he gets the itch again, his relationship gets stale/boring, and it'll be much harder to resist him now bc you miss him and you've already gone there and had that experience. See other men, do whatever you need to, to get your mind off of this man, however partial it is.
You just have to decide at some point what kind of person you want to be. Your actions so far are those of the typical self-centered homewrecker. Not having done this exact thing, I'm certain that I've damaged another marriage by my indiscretion before so no judgment from me, but to stay in it will just do more damage to all involved, and these things seldom seem to work out in the sidechick's favor.
I would think the hardest part for you would be learning to forgive yourself once you get enough space, and the chemistry fades enough for you to take a sober look at this. That's just me though. Some people pursue things like this so far, learn to push their guilt and conscience aside for their own necessity/survival along that path, and become something/someone else entirely....If he has children though especially, consider that you could really be hurting them if you pursue this....
I’ve never done the homewrecker whore thing in my life. I’ve always had respectable relationships. It was never my intention to hurt anyone. He pursued me for a while. We only went on for two dates and intimate once. The first date initiation was solely Friendly in my end. It evolved into something more during the date.
Hell I thought I was single and we can fill a void in each other’s lives for the time being.
He’s done this before. 4 times before me in a 22 year marriage. He said he lacks intimacy and passion in his life.
I gave him that in our two dates. The second date was so intense. He wanted more. He told me the day after. Then the third day I noticed the changes in his text and I confronted him. That was when he told me that he thinks I’m in love with him already. That he doesn’t want to hurt me and string me along.
I didn’t beg or say much after that. I gave him his space. Understood. Sad.
It’s been 4 weeks now. I didn’t know that 1 time affair was going to hurt like this.
A live and learn experience. I finally know about myself that I can’t sleep with someone and not have feelings. Note to self.
Thank you so much for your guidance. His image still haunts me. Will be for a while. We all deserve love. The right way.
Thank you.
I’m 39 and he’s 49.
lol
well i can't use the excuse you are young and don't know any better
but i can use the excuse that he is having a mid life crisis lol.
He wasn’t meant to be a long term thing for me. I’ve been divorced for a while with two kids. My children are the most important thing in my life.
I went into this ‘one time fling’ with a clear mind knowing it will only be a short term fling.
I will never consider a ‘cheater’ to infiltrate into my eventual long term life.
I was off a 3 year relationship and was sad and lonely for a bit he was pursuing me from work. We were friends for over a year.
Anyway. I let him in because I thought he can fill a void in my life just for the time being. And I his.
I just didn’t know that the intimacy was explosive and I would feel the way I do.
That’s all.
What I did learn from this experience is that I can never sleep with a man without having feelings. Just not the type to detach just like that.
Anyway thank you for your post.
i'm sorry.
i wish i could make you a cup of hot cocoa.
divorce can be so painful.
but i'm glad you learned something from your rendezvous from the scorpio man.
i'm the same way when it comes to sex.
it's been 6 years.click to expand
Posted by Melsyeah especially dxpPosted by AdreamuponwakingWell let 2018 be a better year for all of us. Thank you for your comfort. Internet can be so brutal. HahaPosted by Mels*hug*Posted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by MelsPosted by AdreamuponwakingHaha. I wish.Posted by MelsHow old are you? 23? 24?Posted by MetatronYes you are right.Posted by MelsToo late. You both definitely already did that.
But I assured him that I will never compromise his family.
You made a mistake. Chemistry can be so intense it obliterates what you thought were your morals, at least in the moment. It happens to people every day, but you have to put your self in the other woman's shoes and not pursue it for the sake of his family, and him, if you care about him. He's not doing the right thing for the people he cares about most and can't see that now for whatever reason. If you feel you're his soulmate, love him by helping him do that. He'll probably come back around to you when he gets the itch again, his relationship gets stale/boring, and it'll be much harder to resist him now bc you miss him and you've already gone there and had that experience. See other men, do whatever you need to, to get your mind off of this man, however partial it is.
You just have to decide at some point what kind of person you want to be. Your actions so far are those of the typical self-centered homewrecker. Not having done this exact thing, I'm certain that I've damaged another marriage by my indiscretion before so no judgment from me, but to stay in it will just do more damage to all involved, and these things seldom seem to work out in the sidechick's favor.
I would think the hardest part for you would be learning to forgive yourself once you get enough space, and the chemistry fades enough for you to take a sober look at this. That's just me though. Some people pursue things like this so far, learn to push their guilt and conscience aside for their own necessity/survival along that path, and become something/someone else entirely....If he has children though especially, consider that you could really be hurting them if you pursue this....
I’ve never done the homewrecker whore thing in my life. I’ve always had respectable relationships. It was never my intention to hurt anyone. He pursued me for a while. We only went on for two dates and intimate once. The first date initiation was solely Friendly in my end. It evolved into something more during the date.
Hell I thought I was single and we can fill a void in each other’s lives for the time being.
He’s done this before. 4 times before me in a 22 year marriage. He said he lacks intimacy and passion in his life.
I gave him that in our two dates. The second date was so intense. He wanted more. He told me the day after. Then the third day I noticed the changes in his text and I confronted him. That was when he told me that he thinks I’m in love with him already. That he doesn’t want to hurt me and string me along.
I didn’t beg or say much after that. I gave him his space. Understood. Sad.
It’s been 4 weeks now. I didn’t know that 1 time affair was going to hurt like this.
A live and learn experience. I finally know about myself that I can’t sleep with someone and not have feelings. Note to self.
Thank you so much for your guidance. His image still haunts me. Will be for a while. We all deserve love. The right way.
Thank you.
I’m 39 and he’s 49.
lol
well i can't use the excuse you are young and don't know any better
but i can use the excuse that he is having a mid life crisis lol.
He wasn’t meant to be a long term thing for me. I’ve been divorced for a while with two kids. My children are the most important thing in my life.
I went into this ‘one time fling’ with a clear mind knowing it will only be a short term fling.
I will never consider a ‘cheater’ to infiltrate into my eventual long term life.
I was off a 3 year relationship and was sad and lonely for a bit he was pursuing me from work. We were friends for over a year.
Anyway. I let him in because I thought he can fill a void in my life just for the time being. And I his.
I just didn’t know that the intimacy was explosive and I would feel the way I do.
That’s all.
What I did learn from this experience is that I can never sleep with a man without having feelings. Just not the type to detach just like that.
Anyway thank you for your post.
i'm sorry.
i wish i could make you a cup of hot cocoa.
divorce can be so painful.
but i'm glad you learned something from your rendezvous from the scorpio man.
i'm the same way when it comes to sex.
it's been 6 years.click to expand
and especially the scorpio forum.lol
Posted by AdreamuponwakingAlways finding out the hard way.Posted by Melsyeah especially dxpPosted by AdreamuponwakingWell let 2018 be a better year for all of us. Thank you for your comfort. Internet can be so brutal. HahaPosted by Mels*hug*Posted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by MelsPosted by AdreamuponwakingHaha. I wish.Posted by MelsHow old are you? 23? 24?Posted by MetatronYes you are right.Posted by MelsToo late. You both definitely already did that.
But I assured him that I will never compromise his family.
You made a mistake. Chemistry can be so intense it obliterates what you thought were your morals, at least in the moment. It happens to people every day, but you have to put your self in the other woman's shoes and not pursue it for the sake of his family, and him, if you care about him. He's not doing the right thing for the people he cares about most and can't see that now for whatever reason. If you feel you're his soulmate, love him by helping him do that. He'll probably come back around to you when he gets the itch again, his relationship gets stale/boring, and it'll be much harder to resist him now bc you miss him and you've already gone there and had that experience. See other men, do whatever you need to, to get your mind off of this man, however partial it is.
You just have to decide at some point what kind of person you want to be. Your actions so far are those of the typical self-centered homewrecker. Not having done this exact thing, I'm certain that I've damaged another marriage by my indiscretion before so no judgment from me, but to stay in it will just do more damage to all involved, and these things seldom seem to work out in the sidechick's favor.
I would think the hardest part for you would be learning to forgive yourself once you get enough space, and the chemistry fades enough for you to take a sober look at this. That's just me though. Some people pursue things like this so far, learn to push their guilt and conscience aside for their own necessity/survival along that path, and become something/someone else entirely....If he has children though especially, consider that you could really be hurting them if you pursue this....
I’ve never done the homewrecker whore thing in my life. I’ve always had respectable relationships. It was never my intention to hurt anyone. He pursued me for a while. We only went on for two dates and intimate once. The first date initiation was solely Friendly in my end. It evolved into something more during the date.
Hell I thought I was single and we can fill a void in each other’s lives for the time being.
He’s done this before. 4 times before me in a 22 year marriage. He said he lacks intimacy and passion in his life.
I gave him that in our two dates. The second date was so intense. He wanted more. He told me the day after. Then the third day I noticed the changes in his text and I confronted him. That was when he told me that he thinks I’m in love with him already. That he doesn’t want to hurt me and string me along.
I didn’t beg or say much after that. I gave him his space. Understood. Sad.
It’s been 4 weeks now. I didn’t know that 1 time affair was going to hurt like this.
A live and learn experience. I finally know about myself that I can’t sleep with someone and not have feelings. Note to self.
Thank you so much for your guidance. His image still haunts me. Will be for a while. We all deserve love. The right way.
Thank you.
I’m 39 and he’s 49.
lol
well i can't use the excuse you are young and don't know any better
but i can use the excuse that he is having a mid life crisis lol.
He wasn’t meant to be a long term thing for me. I’ve been divorced for a while with two kids. My children are the most important thing in my life.
I went into this ‘one time fling’ with a clear mind knowing it will only be a short term fling.
I will never consider a ‘cheater’ to infiltrate into my eventual long term life.
I was off a 3 year relationship and was sad and lonely for a bit he was pursuing me from work. We were friends for over a year.
Anyway. I let him in because I thought he can fill a void in my life just for the time being. And I his.
I just didn’t know that the intimacy was explosive and I would feel the way I do.
That’s all.
What I did learn from this experience is that I can never sleep with a man without having feelings. Just not the type to detach just like that.
Anyway thank you for your post.
i'm sorry.
i wish i could make you a cup of hot cocoa.
divorce can be so painful.
but i'm glad you learned something from your rendezvous from the scorpio man.
i'm the same way when it comes to sex.
it's been 6 years.
and especially the scorpio forum.lol
click to expand
Posted by MelsI’m not having a go, but…Posted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by MelsPosted by AdreamuponwakingHaha. I wish.Posted by MelsHow old are you? 23? 24?Posted by MetatronYes you are right.Posted by MelsToo late. You both definitely already did that.
But I assured him that I will never compromise his family.
You made a mistake. Chemistry can be so intense it obliterates what you thought were your morals, at least in the moment. It happens to people every day, but you have to put your self in the other woman's shoes and not pursue it for the sake of his family, and him, if you care about him. He's not doing the right thing for the people he cares about most and can't see that now for whatever reason. If you feel you're his soulmate, love him by helping him do that. He'll probably come back around to you when he gets the itch again, his relationship gets stale/boring, and it'll be much harder to resist him now bc you miss him and you've already gone there and had that experience. See other men, do whatever you need to, to get your mind off of this man, however partial it is.
You just have to decide at some point what kind of person you want to be. Your actions so far are those of the typical self-centered homewrecker. Not having done this exact thing, I'm certain that I've damaged another marriage by my indiscretion before so no judgment from me, but to stay in it will just do more damage to all involved, and these things seldom seem to work out in the sidechick's favor.
I would think the hardest part for you would be learning to forgive yourself once you get enough space, and the chemistry fades enough for you to take a sober look at this. That's just me though. Some people pursue things like this so far, learn to push their guilt and conscience aside for their own necessity/survival along that path, and become something/someone else entirely....If he has children though especially, consider that you could really be hurting them if you pursue this....
I’ve never done the homewrecker whore thing in my life. I’ve always had respectable relationships. It was never my intention to hurt anyone. He pursued me for a while. We only went on for two dates and intimate once. The first date initiation was solely Friendly in my end. It evolved into something more during the date.
Hell I thought I was single and we can fill a void in each other’s lives for the time being.
He’s done this before. 4 times before me in a 22 year marriage. He said he lacks intimacy and passion in his life.
I gave him that in our two dates. The second date was so intense. He wanted more. He told me the day after. Then the third day I noticed the changes in his text and I confronted him. That was when he told me that he thinks I’m in love with him already. That he doesn’t want to hurt me and string me along.
I didn’t beg or say much after that. I gave him his space. Understood. Sad.
It’s been 4 weeks now. I didn’t know that 1 time affair was going to hurt like this.
A live and learn experience. I finally know about myself that I can’t sleep with someone and not have feelings. Note to self.
Thank you so much for your guidance. His image still haunts me. Will be for a while. We all deserve love. The right way.
Thank you.
I’m 39 and he’s 49.
lol
well i can't use the excuse you are young and don't know any better
but i can use the excuse that he is having a mid life crisis lol.
He wasn’t meant to be a long term thing for me. I’ve been divorced for a while with two kids. My children are the most important thing in my life.
I went into this ‘one time fling’ with a clear mind knowing it will only be a short term fling.
I will never consider a ‘cheater’ to infiltrate into my eventual long term life.
I was off a 3 year relationship and was sad and lonely for a bit he was pursuing me from work. We were friends for over a year.
Anyway. I let him in because I thought he can fill a void in my life just for the time being. And I his.
I just didn’t know that the intimacy was explosive and I would feel the way I do.
That’s all.
What I did learn from this experience is that I can never sleep with a man without having feelings. Just not the type to detach just like that.
Anyway thank you for your post.click to expand
I’m sure his wife would be so appreciative that at least you learned about yourself that you can’t fuck her husband and not get emotionally attached. What a valuable life-lesson, at the age of 39.
This shouldn’t be what you take from this mistake. Try to shake off some of the self-pity. Take this experience and transform with it, into something more kind.
Posted by MelsWelcome! I am in it for 8 years. Except we both are married so...no advice but full understanding and shoulder to cry on - you’ve got it!
First off... please don’t judge me. It’s hard as it is.
Met this Scorpio man through work. Over a year. We were friends. He’s married. Yes. I know!
Totally platonic and friendly for a year a bit. He added me on Facebook and finally communicated over texts. Still friendly and platonic. Very sporadic here and there messages.
Then it happened.
Friendly invite (from me) to a bookstore. Accepted. Then it turned into something more...
We agreed to meet the next weekend. The sexual explosion and intensity was so strong that it made an imprint in my head. And heart. He lacked passion and intimacy at home and that’s what he needed. I gave him that. Even that one night was over the top amazing. He said the Facebook add was no coincidence. He wanted me a long time ago. Anyway.
He ended it a few days after that. I knew what I was getting myself into. I knew he will never leave his family. I was clear in my mind. But I can’t stop thinking about it. The way he looked at me. Wow. Like I was the only woman alive.
We met shortly at my work after that. Professionally and such. He texted to ask me if it was ok to be friends. I was still a little upset because I don’t know if I was just a notch on his belt or he is afraid I will tell his family. I told him no. No friendship. With a heavy heart.
I wrote him a couple days after that saying I felt like we were soulmates. He said he felt the same but he doesn’t want to hurt me. Yet he was considering continueing the affair. We worked out some logistics and such and I agreed. A couple more texts here and there then he backed out again.
Second rejection. 😢
Last time I contacted him was a week ago. I confessed to him that I had some feelings and was hurt. But I assured him that I will never compromise his family. I wished him all the best and luck in the New Years.
He wrote back and said he knew I had feelings and that’s why he needed to end it. To not string me along and he doesn’t want to hurt me. He felt the chemistry and intensity too but he had to. No contact after that.
I am lost. Confused. Going nuts.
I’d so appreciate any one out there to give me some advise. I know he’s married. I know it was bad. I couldn’t help it. It just happened. Sigh.
Posted by StarslikeyouAlready left him behind 2017.Posted by MelsI’m not having a go, but…Posted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by MelsPosted by AdreamuponwakingHaha. I wish.Posted by MelsHow old are you? 23? 24?Posted by MetatronYes you are right.Posted by MelsToo late. You both definitely already did that.
But I assured him that I will never compromise his family.
You made a mistake. Chemistry can be so intense it obliterates what you thought were your morals, at least in the moment. It happens to people every day, but you have to put your self in the other woman's shoes and not pursue it for the sake of his family, and him, if you care about him. He's not doing the right thing for the people he cares about most and can't see that now for whatever reason. If you feel you're his soulmate, love him by helping him do that. He'll probably come back around to you when he gets the itch again, his relationship gets stale/boring, and it'll be much harder to resist him now bc you miss him and you've already gone there and had that experience. See other men, do whatever you need to, to get your mind off of this man, however partial it is.
You just have to decide at some point what kind of person you want to be. Your actions so far are those of the typical self-centered homewrecker. Not having done this exact thing, I'm certain that I've damaged another marriage by my indiscretion before so no judgment from me, but to stay in it will just do more damage to all involved, and these things seldom seem to work out in the sidechick's favor.
I would think the hardest part for you would be learning to forgive yourself once you get enough space, and the chemistry fades enough for you to take a sober look at this. That's just me though. Some people pursue things like this so far, learn to push their guilt and conscience aside for their own necessity/survival along that path, and become something/someone else entirely....If he has children though especially, consider that you could really be hurting them if you pursue this....
I’ve never done the homewrecker whore thing in my life. I’ve always had respectable relationships. It was never my intention to hurt anyone. He pursued me for a while. We only went on for two dates and intimate once. The first date initiation was solely Friendly in my end. It evolved into something more during the date.
Hell I thought I was single and we can fill a void in each other’s lives for the time being.
He’s done this before. 4 times before me in a 22 year marriage. He said he lacks intimacy and passion in his life.
I gave him that in our two dates. The second date was so intense. He wanted more. He told me the day after. Then the third day I noticed the changes in his text and I confronted him. That was when he told me that he thinks I’m in love with him already. That he doesn’t want to hurt me and string me along.
I didn’t beg or say much after that. I gave him his space. Understood. Sad.
It’s been 4 weeks now. I didn’t know that 1 time affair was going to hurt like this.
A live and learn experience. I finally know about myself that I can’t sleep with someone and not have feelings. Note to self.
Thank you so much for your guidance. His image still haunts me. Will be for a while. We all deserve love. The right way.
Thank you.
I’m 39 and he’s 49.
lol
well i can't use the excuse you are young and don't know any better
but i can use the excuse that he is having a mid life crisis lol.
He wasn’t meant to be a long term thing for me. I’ve been divorced for a while with two kids. My children are the most important thing in my life.
I went into this ‘one time fling’ with a clear mind knowing it will only be a short term fling.
I will never consider a ‘cheater’ to infiltrate into my eventual long term life.
I was off a 3 year relationship and was sad and lonely for a bit he was pursuing me from work. We were friends for over a year.
Anyway. I let him in because I thought he can fill a void in my life just for the time being. And I his.
I just didn’t know that the intimacy was explosive and I would feel the way I do.
That’s all.
What I did learn from this experience is that I can never sleep with a man without having feelings. Just not the type to detach just like that.
Anyway thank you for your post.
I’m sure his wife would be so appreciative that at least you learned about yourself that you can’t fuck her husband and not get emotionally attached. What a valuable life-lesson, at the age of 39.
This shouldn’t be what you take from this mistake. Try to shake off some of the self-pity. Take this experience and transform with it, into something more kind.
click to expand
Healing stage now.
No not interested in married men. Too much baggage.
Thank you. Again.
Posted by TaniwhaSHUT TA HELL UP! She didn’t rape him!!!
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Idiot..!!! He enjoyed an every bit of it! Married my ass...😡😡😡
Posted by GemitatiPosted by TaniwhaSHUT TA HELL UP! She didn’t rape him!!!
He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. He’s married. 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Idiot..!!! He enjoyed an every bit of it! Married my ass...😡😡😡click to expand
Haha. Omg you just made my year. 😂
Posted by MelsWhen I came here with my 5 years of platonic and 2 years of affair - I wish I could have someone like @Bridgo1978Posted by EllygantI already taken him off social media. Healing already. I just couldn’t believe that even a one time affair led me to this crazy mode in my head. I will never jeopardise his family. Not that kinda person. Basically filling a void in my life at the time and yes I am paying for it now. Sigh.
He’s done it four other times before you?
Sounds like a really romantic selfish asshole.
Also no grown woman expects nothing to happen from going on friendly dates with a married man. You knew what you were doing because you say yourself that you know you got yourself into this mess.
As an outside party, your confusion sounds more like your morality conflicting with passing emotions. That’s all they are, passing. You have enough reality in front of you to accept what this was, a moral lacking fling. It’s tough and painful, but the more you hold onto that the easier it will be to resolve your feelings and move on.
Couldn’t hurt to block his number too until the worst of the emotions fade.
click to expand
who is understanding, honest and not judgemental!
My ass was ripped apart by everyone who could and couldn’t. But I am a Gemini so I couldn’t care less! I still don’t...and I am hurt and living in this torture for years but I refuse to let it go and Scorpio isn’t helping!
We are so much involved that it’s killing everything around. Trying many times to stop and forget but isn’t frigging able to!
I understand every word you wrote and every feeling you feeling. And if you will find a peace or any solution to this - please share. And best of luck to you in this mess. You seem like you can deal with it. And hopefully you will find a peace.
Take care.
Posted by GemitatiThank you. Best of luck to you too. I appreciate your honesty. 😉Posted by MelsWhen I came here with my 5 years of platonic and 2 years of affair - I wish I could have someone like @Bridgo1978Posted by EllygantI already taken him off social media. Healing already. I just couldn’t believe that even a one time affair led me to this crazy mode in my head. I will never jeopardise his family. Not that kinda person. Basically filling a void in my life at the time and yes I am paying for it now. Sigh.
He’s done it four other times before you?
Sounds like a really romantic selfish asshole.
Also no grown woman expects nothing to happen from going on friendly dates with a married man. You knew what you were doing because you say yourself that you know you got yourself into this mess.
As an outside party, your confusion sounds more like your morality conflicting with passing emotions. That’s all they are, passing. You have enough reality in front of you to accept what this was, a moral lacking fling. It’s tough and painful, but the more you hold onto that the easier it will be to resolve your feelings and move on.
Couldn’t hurt to block his number too until the worst of the emotions fade.
who is understanding, honest and not judgemental!
My ass was ripped apart by everyone who could and couldn’t. But I am a Gemini so I couldn’t care less! I still don’t...and I am hurt and living in this torture for years but I refuse to let it go and Scorpio isn’t helping!
We are so much involved that it’s killing everything around. Trying many times to stop and forget but isn’t frigging able to!
I understand every word you wrote and every feeling you feeling. And if you will find a peace or any solution to this - please share. And best of luck to you in this mess. You seem like you can deal with it. And hopefully you will find a peace.
Take care.click to expand
Posted by peachy06Feel better? Good!Posted by MelsLmao she got some nerve I swear. Bitch, let me put it up straight, you're a whore, you stole someone's else husband. Did you seriously expect US to praise you or something !? "Congrats for being a hoe, you're doing well" is that what you want to hear ? Hell, I'd never encourage such a petty and ugly behaviour, never ! You're a trash, now deal with it, grow the fuck up and stop acting like a fucking immature moron. Be responsable of your own actions.Posted by StarslikeyouThank you for your post. It was hard to read but truthful. I really do appreciate your guidance. I’ve never felt so raw and exposed as I was reading and re-reading your words.
Firstly, let’s just get this out of the way:
Now. You’re all over the place and come with not very thought through excuses. I’m not going to point out all of your conflicting statements, but here’s my “guidance”: be more self-aware.
You’ve been quite defensive to other people’s replies to your initial post. Open your mind before you open your mouth on this one. You knew most people will not condone this kind of delusion, yet you react so indignant to their replies. The same way you venture into a dalliance with a man with so low moral fibre, and wonder if you were special to him. Not even his wife is special to him, how could you or any other woman be.
Why do you want to be special to him? Contemplate on the obvious, why you ventured into something with someone who is unattainable to you.
I think you should start liking yourself more. Have some self-respect. Not only are you getting involved with a man that is an arsehole as plain as day, you’re involving yourself with an unattainable arsehole.
You might normally be intuitive, and clever and all that, but you come across in your posts as someone who has their blinders up. You don’t see yourself, nor do you see him.
You want to know whether you were just another notch in his belt. It’s not the sex he’s not “getting” at home, it’s about creating a fantasy orbiting his ego. With you he could portray himself in a certain way, which he can’t with his wife who truly knows him. But with you, a woman that doesn’t really know him and he doesn’t really know you either. You do the same, you would rather have the fantasy than reality, therefore you’re spending your time on something unattainable. He doesn’t want your feelings. The both of you were probably terribly unrealistic about each other, so HOW COULD you have a special connection?
You also seem unrealistic about how your actions can affect others around you. How can you be so nonchalant and flippant about this? It’s very immature. It didn’t just happen. “The first date initiation was solely Friendly in my end”. How do you go on a friendly date with a married man exactly?
Just the mere fact that you write “Why shouldn’t I, I’m single”, and “He did message me once and asked to be friends. A couple days later I said no because I don’t want to be the ‘homewrecker whore’” - Now, I’m not calling you any such names, but the deed is already done. He is the one betraying his relationship, yes, but come on, you’re betraying yourself and you’re hurting other people. And what about the energy you are creating and sending out in your own life? What positive outcome were you expecting for your own soul in this? You weren’t. You’re being self-destructive.
Now, I’ve never cheated, nor am I a woman scorned, so I don’t know much about cheating husbands, but the “Oh, he’s just seeking sex and affection that he isn’t getting at home”, sounds like such a cliché, and shows of even more immaturity on both you’re parts -“it’s his wife’s fault he's cheating, see”. I can hardly see the screen while typing, my eyes are rolling so far back into my head. You don’t know anything about his 22 years of marriage either, other than how he’s chosen to portray it to you. For all you know, he has taboo sex with you, and then goes home for some mind-blowing LOVE-MAKING with his wife, fired up with his ego all pumped up. You could’ve basically played the role of the fluffer. All while he probably has three other women in the wings.
There were 4 women before you, and there will be another you down the line for him. I’m sure he had a really special connection with all 4 of the other mistresses too... The “friendship” is to have you on a convenient back-burner, and keep you sweet so as to not expose him.
I think you know this, deep down. Connect with yourself, and seek and create truthfulness and authenticity in your life, love will follow.
I didn’t come here to be criticised by other people but what did I expect? Right? I knew crap will rain down on me from some commenters because the topic isn’t a favourable one. I did come to seek clarity or perhaps some truth.
I have to say that I do now. You are right about the situation. About me even though you don’t know me. I carried emotional baggage from past experiences and I still do.
New year. New life.
Thank you so much for your truthful comment. For what it’s worth I thank you.
Happy new year.
click to expand
Now go masturbate and cum down bitch!
Posted by StarslikeyouWhy are you bringing his wife into this?Posted by MelsI’m not having a go, but…Posted by AdreamuponwakingPosted by MelsPosted by AdreamuponwakingHaha. I wish.Posted by MelsHow old are you? 23? 24?Posted by MetatronYes you are right.Posted by MelsToo late. You both definitely already did that.
But I assured him that I will never compromise his family.
You made a mistake. Chemistry can be so intense it obliterates what you thought were your morals, at least in the moment. It happens to people every day, but you have to put your self in the other woman's shoes and not pursue it for the sake of his family, and him, if you care about him. He's not doing the right thing for the people he cares about most and can't see that now for whatever reason. If you feel you're his soulmate, love him by helping him do that. He'll probably come back around to you when he gets the itch again, his relationship gets stale/boring, and it'll be much harder to resist him now bc you miss him and you've already gone there and had that experience. See other men, do whatever you need to, to get your mind off of this man, however partial it is.
You just have to decide at some point what kind of person you want to be. Your actions so far are those of the typical self-centered homewrecker. Not having done this exact thing, I'm certain that I've damaged another marriage by my indiscretion before so no judgment from me, but to stay in it will just do more damage to all involved, and these things seldom seem to work out in the sidechick's favor.
I would think the hardest part for you would be learning to forgive yourself once you get enough space, and the chemistry fades enough for you to take a sober look at this. That's just me though. Some people pursue things like this so far, learn to push their guilt and conscience aside for their own necessity/survival along that path, and become something/someone else entirely....If he has children though especially, consider that you could really be hurting them if you pursue this....
I’ve never done the homewrecker whore thing in my life. I’ve always had respectable relationships. It was never my intention to hurt anyone. He pursued me for a while. We only went on for two dates and intimate once. The first date initiation was solely Friendly in my end. It evolved into something more during the date.
Hell I thought I was single and we can fill a void in each other’s lives for the time being.
He’s done this before. 4 times before me in a 22 year marriage. He said he lacks intimacy and passion in his life.
I gave him that in our two dates. The second date was so intense. He wanted more. He told me the day after. Then the third day I noticed the changes in his text and I confronted him. That was when he told me that he thinks I’m in love with him already. That he doesn’t want to hurt me and string me along.
I didn’t beg or say much after that. I gave him his space. Understood. Sad.
It’s been 4 weeks now. I didn’t know that 1 time affair was going to hurt like this.
A live and learn experience. I finally know about myself that I can’t sleep with someone and not have feelings. Note to self.
Thank you so much for your guidance. His image still haunts me. Will be for a while. We all deserve love. The right way.
Thank you.
I’m 39 and he’s 49.
lol
well i can't use the excuse you are young and don't know any better
but i can use the excuse that he is having a mid life crisis lol.
He wasn’t meant to be a long term thing for me. I’ve been divorced for a while with two kids. My children are the most important thing in my life.
I went into this ‘one time fling’ with a clear mind knowing it will only be a short term fling.
I will never consider a ‘cheater’ to infiltrate into my eventual long term life.
I was off a 3 year relationship and was sad and lonely for a bit he was pursuing me from work. We were friends for over a year.
Anyway. I let him in because I thought he can fill a void in my life just for the time being. And I his.
I just didn’t know that the intimacy was explosive and I would feel the way I do.
That’s all.
What I did learn from this experience is that I can never sleep with a man without having feelings. Just not the type to detach just like that.
Anyway thank you for your post.
I’m sure his wife would be so appreciative that at least you learned about yourself that you can’t fuck her husband and not get emotionally attached. What a valuable life-lesson, at the age of 39.
This shouldn’t be what you take from this mistake. Try to shake off some of the self-pity. Take this experience and transform with it, into something more kind.
click to expand
HE doesn’t care about his wife to not to fuck around! Why should she—
Mels said everything and thanked everyone for input. What’s your nastiness adding to this thread? Just that - nastiness!
And the question always pops - have you been cheated on— Apparently...
Always the oldest sidechick all up in the Scorpio forum, throwing a massive baby fit, trying to make it okay for other side pieces. Ten years, and she still borrowing another woman's husband, while her own husband sleeps back at their house.
Posted by Starslikeyou
Firstly, let’s just get this out of the way:
(...) here’s my “guidance”: be more self-aware. (...) Now, I’ve never cheated, nor am I a woman scorned, (...) Connect with yourself, and seek and create truthfulness and authenticity in your life, love will follow.
@Gemitati
Why are you bringing his wife into this?
HE doesn’t care about his wife to not to fuck around! Why should she—
click to expand
Besides thoughts of decency and kindness?
To prove a point that self-pity is blinding.
Even though you, Gemitati, write that you also tried to fill a void (quote on qoute) by sleeping with someone else’s husband and cheating on your own, - you still come across as pretty vacuous. 😉
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He (age 29): Sun Scorpio; Moon Virgo or Libra; Mercury Libra; Venus Libra; Mars Aries; Jupiter Gemini
I (age 50): Sun Cancer; Moon Aries; Mercury Leo; Venus Gemini; Mars Gemini; Jupiter Cancer
I'm recently divorced from an abusive relationshi
Met this Scorpio man through work. Over a year. We were friends. He’s married. Yes. I know!
Totally platonic and friendly for a year a bit. He added me on Facebook and finally communicated over texts. Still friendly and platonic. Very sporadic here and there messages.
Then it happened.
Friendly invite (from me) to a bookstore. Accepted. Then it turned into something more...
We agreed to meet the next weekend. The sexual explosion and intensity was so strong that it made an imprint in my head. And heart. He lacked passion and intimacy at home and that’s what he needed. I gave him that. Even that one night was over the top amazing. He said the Facebook add was no coincidence. He wanted me a long time ago. Anyway.
He ended it a few days after that. I knew what I was getting myself into. I knew he will never leave his family. I was clear in my mind. But I can’t stop thinking about it. The way he looked at me. Wow. Like I was the only woman alive.
We met shortly at my work after that. Professionally and such. He texted to ask me if it was ok to be friends. I was still a little upset because I don’t know if I was just a notch on his belt or he is afraid I will tell his family. I told him no. No friendship. With a heavy heart.
I wrote him a couple days after that saying I felt like we were soulmates. He said he felt the same but he doesn’t want to hurt me. Yet he was considering continueing the affair. We worked out some logistics and such and I agreed. A couple more texts here and there then he backed out again.
Second rejection. 😢
Last time I contacted him was a week ago. I confessed to him that I had some feelings and was hurt. But I assured him that I will never compromise his family. I wished him all the best and luck in the New Years.
He wrote back and said he knew I had feelings and that’s why he needed to end it. To not string me along and he doesn’t want to hurt me. He felt the chemistry and intensity too but he had to. No contact after that.
I am lost. Confused. Going nuts.
I’d so appreciate any one out there to give me some advise. I know he’s married. I know it was bad. I couldn’t help it. It just happened. Sigh.