Scorpio/Scorpio - Help Comparing Birth Charts

Part I - Hello all - I'm new here, I just found this site a couple of weeks ago and I love it! I have found myself in a difficult (but semi-self-created) situation. Long story short(ish) (and I posted a little of this in another thread). I've been married five years, married to a French guy (I'm American) and we live in France.

Almost three years into our marriage, my husband's father died, I bought him a Playstation to cheer him up and he began a 40-50 hour-per-week video game habit that brought our relatively normal marriage to a screeching halt. No sex (four times in two years), he was just addicted to this game.

I tried and tried make my marriage work. After 18 months if this, I met a man by chance (I wasn't looking for an affair) and went outside of my marriage. It opened up these sexual floodgates that I just couldn't close - it was something that had been missing in my life. He was a musician for a well-known pop star in France and was on the road a lot, so I intentionally sought out a "no strings" lover to help fill this need.

Which brings me to my Scorpio. We started this torrid sex-only affair in January 2011 with me stopping and starting all the time to "work on my marriage" but I just couldn't resist him. Scorpio/Scorpio sex can be mind-blowing - violent and tender, impersonal and intimate all at the same time.

We never talked much when we were together, but he consistently asked me about my husband and my sex life with other men - did I love my husband, was I having sex with him, was I seeing anyone else (I was), when was I having sex, with whom, was I going to go back to my husband, etc...

This led me to believe he wanted more from me, but he was insistent he didn't. His wife left him for another man after 12 years of marriage, so it's possible he was curious about what goes through a cheating woman's head - I don't know. But it confused me - I asked him to stop asking me those questions for that reason, but they continued.

I finally "ended" it in September and two months later my husband found evidence of the affair. Every thing was out in the open and I told him about the affair(s), but I never forgot about my Scorpio. I went into marriage counseling with my husband, tried to work on my marriage, but my heart was just not there anymore. We finally decided to separate completely a month or so ago.

Part II

I went to see my Scorpio again a couple of weeks ago, we had a beautiful night together but my feelings are just to strong to continue with a sex-only relationship (which is what he wants). GRANTED, I am married, so I can't legitimately ask for more, but... I need to work on properly and honestly finishing my marriage - as I am still conflicted there - and not have this in my life at the same time.

Anyway... I don't know much about astrology in detail (other than sun signs) and would love someone to take a look at our charts, the situation, etc to know more about "us"... while he is out of my life for now, he has really affected me - I have dated a lot of men in my life and I have have really good and close relationships, but there is such a connection, at least physical connection, that I hope our paths cross at some point in the future, when I am truly free.

I would love to hear the wisdom of the people on this board!

HIS CHART

Sun - Scorpio
Moon - Sagittarius
Mercury Sagittarius
Venus - Libra
Mars - Libra
Jupiter - Capricorn
Saturn - Gemini
Uranus - Libra
Neptune - Sagittarius
Pluto - Libra
Lilith - Scorpio

MY CHART
Sun - Scorpio
Moon - Leo
Mercury - Scorpio
Venus - Sagittarius
Mars - Libra
Jupiter - Virgo
Saturn - Aires
Uranus - Libra
Neptune - Scorpio
Pluto - Virgo
Lilith - Gemini

May I ask your husbands sign? And also what game was he addicted to? Because this is a part that I am having trouble with also with my Scorpio, he is completely addicted to a game which also hinders our communication too. Made a post earlier about all that mess.

My husband is a Taurus (45 years old) He was playing Call of Duty and Battlefield games. I read your post earlier.. it is a mess - I would say run like the dickens and don't look back. That guy is not worth your time!

Hum I thought Taurus and Scorpio did pretty well. Interesting to say the least. But I totally understand where you are coming from with the video game addiction. I can't seem to pry mine away to get to talk to me and we are having our issues as you read. I think he plays about the same amount of time as your hubby does. That is just crazy to me.

Anyways it seems to me that your Scorpio is almost non committal. I can see by the Libra/Sagg listed in his first planets. Enjoying what he has now with no serious commitments. Have you told him about how you feel? I would say to wait on it until you are completely done with your husband. Are you separated now? Do you still live in the same place together?

Yes he is very non-committal and has always been upfront about that - which I appreciate. I placed an ad on a swingers site looking for a "no strings" relationship, saying I was married and not looking to change my marital situation, which at the time I felt was the case. He enjoys a libertine life style s and we enjoy having threesomes together with other men, so we are both very sexually open and enjoy variety, but I think deep down we both like the comfort of a partner as well. We both have said we would like to be married again, but there is this "dark side" that is not compatible with traditional marriage as well.

He knows I have feeling for him but my problem has always been (with him) that I have "feelings" but I'm not sure what kind of feelings... I don't "love" him, I don't think about being with him outside of sex, or a "life" with him and I certainly have no plans to leave my husband for him (or anyone else), but we are both just very physically drawn to each other and it's intoxicating. I feel like if I were truly free (emotionally and legally) things could be different, but that is a very low-level feeling.

I do live separately from my husband. I have had a separate apartment since September 2010 - my first affair was in November 2010, then I met my Scorp in January 2011.

Haha! After my off-track ramblings... this is a guy I have feelings for and a very strong connection with but I can't have him in my life now... I am just wondering if there is anything chart-wise that would bode well (or not well) if we were to reconnect in the future... this site has made me curious about the birth chart connections.

Interesting with the Taurus and his 'comfort' games.

I've noticed Cancer men are easily addicted to gaming. I'd love to find some articles on addiction types and astrological aspects.

I'm lurking this thread. JSYK 😛 heheh.

I loved reading that, in senses, you've reclaimed your sexual identity. For most, hushing that piece of self becomes surprisingly restricting to all roles in the everyday... So, in essence - rock on, woman! 😛

@intrigued scorp - the "holding on even when it's not working" part makes total sense... I have so many feelings for my husband the thought of just walking away from this marriage and never seeing him again makes me so sad. However at the same time, life is short and if something isn't working...I have never been in such a horrible position in my life.

I took a look at astro.com and did a relationship horoscope reading. It was interesting and this kind of stuck out to me:

"...it is possible that this conjunction signifies something unusual or atypical about the relationship itself.

If the relationship itself is unusual, it may be more stable than a more ordinary partnership. In a love relationship, this aspect demands that you give each other more than the usual amount of freedom."

The last time I saw him (a couple of weeks ago after a break of six months), I said I would love to be married again but that I would also like the freedom to be sexually involved with other men. He responded that I needed someone like him, a libertine (swinger) who was open to that. Of course, in theory, that is a great idea... in practice, probably not...

i think there is more to this than just him losing himself in 'comfort' videogames. i've not experienced this in a relationship but my son was addicted over a period of around 18 months. it actually masked depession in his case (virgo/libra cusp). he was very badly hurt by his father during our breakup which finally ended after 18 months of hell just shortly before my son became more and more engrossed in his games. i kinda left him to it cos i thought he was using it as an escape from what he didn't want to deal with it.

it was coming up to summer just over a year before his addiction started and as we live in a hot climate, he was constantly being asked out to play basketball with his friends...but kept saying now in preference to sitting in a darkened room with his xbox. they eventually dragged him out. he had become overweight and completely apathetic and unfortunately, i was working ridiculous shifts at that time and just didn't see what was happening with him 😢

when we spoke about it after...when he was back to my gorgeous boy...he acknowledged he was depressed and had slipped into an unhealthy habit with the games (call of duty) and from that point we were able to deal with what brought it all about TOGETHER.

your husband can't see anything clearly. don't do what i did and bury your head in the sand and think he's adddicted cos he's in some way selfish. i seriously think he needs help. i also seriously think you shouldn't be together but you need to help him back to the man he was, cos i could be wrong. you owe him that really. you can't really complain about relationships outside your marriage if they just perpetuate the horrible state of the one you're in already.

i think it's crunch time. you have to address your marriage first before getting too involved in anything outside of it.

soooo many typos

just another observation as i have also been married to a clinically depressed man. sometimes, they just don't want helping and resist every attempt. people who have any kind of unhealthy addiction WILL drag you down if they don't stop. sometimes the best you can do is put yourself first and get the hell out. you can sometimes love someone better by leaving them to their despair...tough love...sometimes inevitable 😢

i've depressed myself now 😢

@rig - thank you, I agree 100% ... the gaming coincided with the unexpected death of his father... I have always known (at minimum suspected) that it's depression-related... of course, two years later even with our therapists (individual and marriage) he won't admit to that.

We had some pretty difficult times before the video-gaming set in (my integration into France, new language, new culture, homesickness, all the things that come with that)... there was some violence in our marriage (him to me) which I shouldn't have tolerated... but as far as a couple, we were doing things together, had a normal sex life, etc. Then the gaming just brought any good part (going out, sex, etc) to a screeching halt. I was just left with the bad - a moody husband with a bad temper.

I know I should leave - there are practical things keeping me (like I am in the final stage of becoming a French citizen, our file has been completed and we should receive the final approval within a couple of months) - divorcing would most likely revoke that.

And then there are the feelings I have for him... he lost his job of 22-years last November... he is without a DOUBT depressed... and I care about him. To walk away and leave him would be the saddest thing I've ever done, but I don't think he would want our relationship to be "just friends" - so I feel trapped with a sense of (voluntary) duty and compassion towards him, but also wanting to be free to have a romantic relationship that would better suit my needs, while I'm not TOO old and still have a little of my looks left! 🙂 I have never been so confused and torn in my life.

I had to stop with my Scorpio "friend" because it was distracting me from what I needed to do (and really not in a good way), causing me more grief that it was worth and I want to finish my marriage cleanly and honestly, not cheating on my husband. I am so attracted to this other man but he is not going to be anymore than sex to me if I'm still with my husband (maybe not ever) and I just don't want that. At that same time, I can't ask for more than just sex if I'm still married. So it was time to end that, as difficult as it was.

It's nice to have a place to come vent this stuff! It's so, so, so difficult.

Don't depress yourself! I love reading your posts and I really like what you have to say! I just had a Gemini man enter my life and I loved your Gemini post!! (that man drives me CRAZY, so I just said enough is enough!) It reminded me a lot of your situation because he is this high-flying businessman, divides his time between Paris and Buenos Aires.. but was the most unreliable and crazy-making man I've ever met!! So hot and cold!!

firstly, you a no way too old!!! i'm older than you and i've never felt younger.....feeling younger men has probably something to do with that 😛

secondly, like i said, there's only so much you can do when you're with someone who has depression and there is absolutely no point in martyring yourself out of a sense of responsibility (was going to put 'duty' as a pun, lol). i think i perpetuated my ex's depression to some extent cos i stayed with him because people with depression can become dependant very easily and worse still, the pair of you can become co-dependant which is even worse.

my ex is now a different man. he's with someone he truly loves and it shows. i really believe a personality combination can make or break people. don't be broken by him. you have to accept that he needs to face some harsh realities HIMSELF before he can ever get over his mindset. when your citizenship is approved, set the divorce in motion...if that action alone is not enough to make him accept he has a problem, you will be heading in the right direction for what you need to do for HIS sake and for yours.

ask yourself how it would be if the shoe were on the other foot. if you were the one who had been abusive and miserable in the marriage. would he stick around? would anyone stick around? no. they probably wouldn't, especially as you're female because men are generally much less tolerant of mental illness than women are.

i think intruiged made the point about the marriage being null and void cos of the terms of the contract being broken and that's very true. in the business world, you would sue and make sure you got shed loads in damages! it's all very well promising that you'll be with someone 'in sickness and in health' but when the reality of the sickness comes in the form of depression, that's something you can't ever promise to tolerate. tolerance is one of depression's best friends. you have to show you are going to remove his crutches and see if he takes the signal to sort himself out.

crunch time.

that gem turned very weird actually...sent me an email requesting that i write him all my intimate fantasies. said he would still 'respect' me, despite being a total stranger. needless to say, i didn't respond, lol.

What? Ugh that's so gross. Send me all your intimate fantasies. What a douche. I don't think that has anything to do with his sign cause good god. I am a Gemini and that is a total embarrassment. Just EW! Don't you hate that when guys get all seedy and smarmy like that? *Breathes all hard* Yeah girl send me all your fantasies yeah mmmm....GROSS.

yes it is gross and very rude too. much more a man thing than a gem thing though. it was a dating site though and so there's always gonna be a percentage of sleazeballs. i just don't get what's sposed to be in it for the woman though...are we seriously gonna be turned on by that kind of thing?

no. i think not!

🙂