The X Factor

Blimey! where do I start. Have had such an overwhelming week. I bumped into my first ever love (Scorpio) of 10 years ago. The choice to break up was never ours and we loved each other sooooooooooooooo much. As you can imagine, we are both a bit shocked. We haven't had any contact for 10 years. He's thinking I am married with kids and I am thinking same about him. Turns out neither of us are..We met on friday evening and he ended up staying over at the weekend. We have been pretty inseperable since. Of course, he's had relationships and well at the moment, since speaking to me on friday he finished it with his current girlfriend. He said I am not in love with you but I love you immensely. I want to be in love with you so I want us to have a relationship again. I am not that affectionate and he is very affectionate. He tells me he loves me, I speak to him every day ( 3 times a day). He pulled out a letter I wrote to him 10 years ago..I was in shock..and when he read it to me, he had tears in his eyes..(be still my beating heart). My feelings at the moment are all over the place. I can't deal with it. I still love him more than life itself..but obviously he has his ex to deal with. He tells me he is just with her for the sake of being with someone but he did actually date one girl 3 years after our split whom he loved but he cheated on her. As far as I know he is being honest, he is very blunt, straightforward, his words cut like a sword..I said why are you choosing to tell me this..he said if you don't know that, then you don't know anything..

His Sun: Scorpio
Moon: Capricorn

I want to know from you scorpio guys, is he being geniune..from what I feel, he is. We had an argument today because it was my turn to get all jealous on him. He told me today that his ex wants to see him to talk..well obviously I wasn't going to take this well..Never mind..I do understand he has to. It was never our intention to bump into each other and fall madly back in love again..Life certainly moves in mysterious ways...

good point aprilbaby..

Wow, MM!

Obviously I'm not a Scorpio male...but just wanted to give my two cents here.
It sounds like there are still unresolved feelings between you two...and there is obviously that special connection still there, which is great!!
The only thing that perturbs me is why he chose to break things off w/ his current girlfriend if he is unsure as to where you guys are headed? That seems kind of impulsive.

"I said why are you choosing to tell me this..he said if you don't know that, then you don't know anything.."

WOW!!!

This can be very flattering as well as overwhelming for you, I imagine. Bumping into the Scorpio love of your life after 10 years, especially when neither of you planned it! Maybe you should feel him out a little more, to see if he has any intentions, before making your mind up. Good luck!!!

Now we wait for the male Scorp advice..

I was wondering where you were MM...I noticed you were missing for awhile. You said he broke up with his girlfriend right? To be with you now?

He sounds genuine enough to me...but I'm no guy and they work differently than us females. I see you got attached back to him pretty quickly. What happened to the Virgo Guy? I guess love is like that.

I hope everything works out for you two.

Good Luck...

Thanks AB. Even he said himself. I don't believe in fate..but this can't be ignored..he said I really do think this is fate. It really is bizare..I never thought I would see him again. Ever.

To be honest, I don't think I am in love with him..not yet, but it will happen..I never did fall out of love with him..I've only had 2 relationships..one was him and the other one was a Leo..I am pretty numb at the moment. Don't know what to feel..This is the guy that changed the course of my life forever..we went through thick and thin together..

Your right, I am glad he said that, he could've lied. He will say things, even if I don't like to hear them. he calls me on tuesday and says hun, I am missing you can you come up to mine, I am leaving now to go pub, you should be with me in the next 25 mins right...lol..I wouldn't go cos I was comfortable at home..so he says see if that was me, and I had a car, I would be down there like a shot..so we talk for 7 hours straight..it was so nice..All those feelings that lay dormant for 10 years..

i think friendship is very very important. I think you guys shouldnt rush things. Be friends and see how it works. Please dont think bumping into him after ten years means you guys are soulmates. I did that exact thing with an old flame and it just reminded me of the reason we broke up in the first place. Take things slow...if it is meant to be...it will definitely fall into place. I know about that scorpio charm though...it is so irresistable.....whew!

He keeps saying your not that affectionate anymore, so I reply why because I don't agree with everything you say. Then he says your sooo argumentative, and moody and whatever else..but I still love you..You will always hold a special place in my heart..you were my first love..and he keeps repeating this like a thousand times..Remember we were very young back then and now its a different story. I am very guarded with my feelings..so its very difficult for me to just open up..Of course I will have to suss him out..I am not going to let anyone in that easy. He said "Do you want to be my girlfriend"...awwww..lol..He just keeps saying I love you..to which I reply..I don't throw that term around lightly so I won't say it back..and he says neither do I..but apparantly you don't believe me..He gets me to phone him just before I go to bed so I can say good night to him in bed.

Its just very bizarre..

Karima - yes I have been missing off the boards for that reason..hardly been online..
Virgo guy - of course I still talk to him..he's such a sweetheart too..I haven't been feeling well lately, and he's text every day..really concerned. Bless him. Obviously I don't know whats going on..My head is all over the place..

I want DB's opinion here..I think he has a moon in Capricorn..

missmorals...i hope im not being too nosy...but are you at a lonely stage in your life? We seem to be so vulnerable at that time and want love and commitment so much. I went through it for some years.

Pluto_pride: "I love you and not in love with you? thing is rather a cute way of taking pressure off of you" - I don't understand. Can you elaborate.. He also said..none of his girlfriends ever really compared..yes he loved them etc..but he always cheated on them..

AB - I think you made some good points on staying out of the ex thing. I think it has nothing to do with me. But he does tell me whats going on. He said, the stuff I tell you..is highly classified information, I don't share with anyone..I have to remain calm here..Have to keep it all locked up until I am sure. The main thing is..we are back in contact now. after 10 fkn years..my god!!!! Its all a bit overwhelming. I can't be near him because I won't be held responsible for my actions..He was telling me how he will introduce me to his friends etc..

Dward - No I am not lonely. Yes I was looking for someone but there have been many come and go who haven't actually got pass the testing..lol..I just can't be bothered with any relationship..have always had a couldn't care less attitude..until Mr Scorp came along..I know what your saying and thinking but its not like that..I just can't get over the overwhelming effect..obviously you guys don't know the real story behind our split but thats something farrrrrrrrrrr too personal..but it wasn't pretty..I probably sound mental..but well he was my first love and nobody has ever really compared..

Notso07 - LOL..My sentiments exactly. He kept saying I have your letters you wrote to me..by the way, nice handwriting..lol..one where your telling me how much you love me and the others your having a go at me about something..I didn't believe him so he bought it with him when we met the second time..he sits me down on his lap, hugs me, gives me a drink and says are you ready for it, let me read it to you...awww...

Right, I must calm myself down..I have all the time in the world..

It is amazing how he would keep your letters after so many years! Very sentimental gesture. It's obvious from that, that you hold a special place in his heart.

Yes I know what you mean about the cheating thing. Not too comfortable with that myself. But from what I've observed of him in a week, he's going through a self-destructive stage..has been for the past 3 years..He's hiding something under that funny guy facade..I intend to find out. But he will come to me..in his own time..I am not going to force it.

But fact is, he's telling me everything..without omitting any details that make him look bad..its all out there..why would he brag about cheating to somebody he claims to love? Anyways...we will see..but now time to get over the shock and face reality...we have two very different lives..

i know i had a pretty bad break up with a scorpio...it still painful as i think about it. the scorp im dating now ( i just love scorp men) is so sweet and nice and all of that. Very Very romantic. I am holding my guards up though. But so far it has been nice. Not rushing into anything. no miss you dont sound mental at all. I really hope you two start to understand each other. But I would keep that could care less attitude with him too. And like I said try to be friends first. The fact that he kept your letter after all these years is a plus!

Scorp_in_law - Yes must get that intuitive radar switched on. Time out is required here..way too much contact etc..Need a breather to see things from all perspective

Pluto_pride - yeah I guess your right. If I love someone, I can't look at anyone else let alone be with them. But I understand what you mean about the "love you but not in love with you" comment..because he did kind of say your not as emotional as you were..so probably guarded..I don't know..I wasn't bothered about that comment..obviously if the guy has just met me after 10 years, your not automatically going to be in love straight away...tooo much has happened since then..I think we were both just in shock for about 2 hours.

I feel weird and happy at the same time..

I dont like to hear about ex's either...he should at least respect that much. Don't let him keep throwing him and his and ex issues in your face because it will eventually become a problem. You can only be so understanding.

AB - "When he talks to you or sees you, it should just be about you and him...everything and everyone else should slip away."

This is exactly what he's like. When we are together..we are always reminisicing for hours and hours on end..He looks me straight in the eye, and I return the eye contact and we just talk and talk about us..nothing else but us and our situation and what we had to go through..and then he feels guilty, and gets emotional and wants a hug..we can talk for hours..he remembers every minute detail of our relationship. Things I had forgotten but when he brings it up I do remember. Its amazing, really. He doesn't talk about anyone but us when we are together..and how we will move this forward. I had such a tough time leaving his place on tuesday. He just wouldn't let me go. To the point where we had an argument..He was being sooo stubborn..He didn't want me to drive cos I hadn't slept..but the real reason was, he wanted to wake up and have me next to him..we just talked the entire 8 hours..

PM: I know i know. But seriously I don't know whats going to happen..this wasn't meant to happen..it wasn't planned it just kinda did..I am still talking to the Virguy..but obviously still haven't been out with him. To tell you the truth, this last week has been the busiest and the most emotionally draining week in my history. Family issues, return of the ex, acceptance at law school, Tonsilitis..I've had it all..

Dward- what sign are you? it doesn't say on your profile..
"I dont like to hear about ex's either...he should at least respect that much."..

Don't worry I told him this today. I said your ex your business, nothing to do wtih me, if you have any respect for my feelings, don't keep throwing that in my face. I think its his testing..to see my reaction. He's done it on a couple of things now..must make a note of it. He thinks I am a snobby cow. LOL..so be it..I am just me..very blunt about everything, can't stand bullshit..

Pluto_pride: "He is working it out in front of you and with you to reach closure" - Yes my thoughts exactly. He doesn't need to tell me any of this. I would rather know whats going on then not know..but obviously I don't want to hear about it all the time..He knows now that I don't like it..so whether he chooses to do anything about it, is another story..He said he wants me to know everything thats gone on in those 10 years..and slowly but surely I will do. But he does say, that I can just totally be myself with you, trust you with all my life and that doesn't come easily to me..

Yes I was shocked about the letter. I had actually forgotten I had written any letters can you believe..My god..and it was a pretty intense letter too..bought tears to my eyes..and I never cry at anything..

aries...you know my scorp test me a lot too...why do they do that?

i have to admit it is cute how he TRIES to test me. I dont know though...this may just be a wild fling...i am so much older than he is.

LOL @ PM. I am scorpio, its natural. We never forget our first love and especially if it was a scorpionic love..Obviously I like the Virguy. Keeping my options open so to speak at this stage..but fact is I have never forgotten him and never will so him coming back into my life was just plain weird..especially since my sister only bought him up in conversation 2 weeks ago, wondering what he was doing and that she had a dream he would bump into me again some day. Bizarre occurrences..

AB - your mothers ex was a scorpio? did they break up amicably?
Cos I am telling you this situation is far from normal.

Dward - Testing..well we women do it too..if you pass, then there are great treasures that await you. We just need you to prove your undying love cos we don't just believe all the hype blah blah..

wow that cosmic

"Because of insecurity which leads to fear. What you get after the testing is so special that the Scorp has to be sure. If you "pass" the test you will be loved on a level that might just scare you."

Scare me baby!!!! Bring it on!!! lol!

Well thanks guys for your input. Here begins another story in the life of MM..

He just called. Was about to go out with the guys but he popped in to quickly say hi and asked me to call him back immediately. So I did and he just said you moody cow, all the abuse I got earlier from you!..you didn't even call back to check whether you had hurt my feelings..jeez man..Lol..that will keep him in check..I said just go with your boys and have fun..have a drink on me too. He said I would rather be with you. Drink tastes so much better..lol..aww..but I was just the straight faced person that I am..not letting much on..

AB - yeah I know what you mean..but I can assure you that this one in reality is very different..but yeah like you say, theres no guarantee it will work out..obviously a decade is a long time and people grow up in different ways, different influences..I liked a few guys but for some reason, either we never met or if we met, it just never went any further, ones I've actually cared for etc. I've always turned around and moaned at God..so much for you looking out for me..why are you not making this work..you must either hate me or have something better planned for me..or just plain testing me..lol..seriously, these are the conversations I would have..

"ROFLMAO. But hey did not mean for this to come out like a stalker. The emotional intensity may scare you."

LOL, Pluto! I was in a long-term relationship w/ a Scorp previously and am presently seriously dating another one...so I know what that emotional intensity is all about!! I crave it! I'm getting all flushed thinking of all the love and passion and loyalty that comes once they've figured out that you're sticking with them for the long haul.....and through thick and thin.
It takes patience, but he's learning slowly that I'm not going anywhere! 🙂

god hears all of you. He may not come when you want but he certainly right on time!

Well they say be careful what you wish for. And What a fantastic turn MM. I hope your up for it.

Its a great chance and could be a great adventure in love and life - so you gotta grab it. Is there really any option, I mean what's the alternative - play it safe, what does that get you.

And when jealousy bites think of your hard lonlier times-that will take the sting out of it.

good luck

i know i had to learn to be single for a while...to love myself and appreciate myself. I had some self esteem issues because I was in and out of relationships. But it was something in me attracting the wrong guys. Now i have a different outlook...Im no longer thinking that I need a relationship to complete me. I am having a lot of fun and life is starting to become a little clearer. I think that happens when you turn age 30..

holy moly miss morals! wow, you got a lot going on 🙂

1) congratulations on being accepted to law school!!! that's awesome 🙂

2) i hope you're tonsilitis situation is now finished & that your health is good now.

3) i was rooting for the nice virgo guy w/ the dreamy muscles, but oh well... one has to follow one's heart 🙂


MM, i would like to share with you a lesson i learned earlier this year in the hope that it will help:

last year, i reunited w/ an aqua ex that i was with 15 yrs ago. when we reconnected, i felt as if life was telling me something; like fate must have brought us back together for a reason. i had high hopes and expectations that this relationship was meant to be.

unfortunately, we were not brought back together because we were soulmates. when it was over, after much reflection i realized that maybe it happened in order for me to learn more about myself and what i want, and didn't want, out of life. it also answered a question for me: i had always wondered 'what if we had never broken up?'. i took the opportunity that life presented and finally knew with certainty that we were not 'the one' for each other.

i'm not saying the same thing will happen to you - far from it! my point is simply that this reunion is a gift: a rare chance to have any lingering questions you may have answered.

i think any encounters we have in life happen for a reason - it's up to us to figure out what to make of it, what lessons can be derived from it and how we can use it to move forward wiser and happier.

enjoy your renewed connection to its fullest; recognize what is right in front of you, instead of what you want to see. deal with things as they come and don't shortcut your way to fast and easy answers, if you want the answers to be the right ones.

having said that, i'm going to practice what i preach, lol.

(if anyone knows how to keep on an even keel at all times, please let me know)

best wishes MM 🙂

DB
"I noticed not a single scorpio male responded to your soap box story...lol"

I'm a scorpio male... r u?

And no this isn't the cappy board.

But I have to agree, MM gotta go with the flow.

Wow MM !!! That seems to be fate !!! Hope it will work out well for you.

Whatever be the outcome, the very fact that he has kept your letter as a treasure all these years speaks volumes about his love for you !!!!

Pray hard Girl...let everything be okay and wonderful for you....becoz a scorp-scorp union is something so so special....But you will be tested over and over again....and that is just his way of showing his undying love for you 🙂

Thanks guys..

Yeah all is going well. Just dropped him off home..As you said going with the flow. We both got blind drunk last night..had a great time. Poor guys hurt his knee getting drunk with his friends on Thursday night. He called me about 5 times. Asked me to come and get him but I couldn't be bothered..I think he was rather upset about that..and I had to hear the sob story all weekend..but he's as sweet as he ever was. Its going well. I think he's in more shock than me..

MM,

How nice for you to have the chance to rekindle a friendship with your X. Life works in mysterious ways. Go slow this time, which I'm sure you will. Good luck.

Thanks Mystical..LOL..here I was banging on about a Virguy and out comes the Scorp..LOL..

He's adorable..

LOL Banging about a Virguy? Well, I've been there too, as you know, so I know what you're saying. What is it about Virgos? Seems like they are there and then someone else comes along. Anyway, hold on to your Scorpio. It looks like this could be the beginning of a second chance for the two of you.

I hope so..But taking a breather right now..Got the rest of our lives if it works out..too much of anything isn't good..
I really hope you find someone that makes you happy Mystical, you deserve it after the last showdown..lol..any words?

MISSMORALS: "We had an argument today because it was my turn to get all jealous on him" I had that last night.. if two Scorps love eachother enough, anything can happen. I want to know your venus sign and his and your rising sign and his: *i can calculate*

I would stick up for them too..cos I love them..they are utterly sweet..speaking of which, had a conversation with virgo today..god he's a workaholic and then some!..he said see, thats why chicks run a mile, cos I am always working..and he does work hard..too damn hard..lovely bloke though.

Scorp just called..I haven't called him all day. He said, thanks for phoning me, I missed you too and sat wondering where you were all day!..lol..

Leoscorprising - Aww thanks that would be great. I don't know his venus. Mines in Sagitarius

His moon is Capricorn, mine is in scorpio

I don't know his rising either..I have never asked him..I will get that information and pm you if thats ok?

god the more i read this story MM the more i cry..it's so beautiful

MM,

Well, his birthday was over a week ago (the 8th). I was really pondering whether I should ignore it or acknowledge it as you know. When I woke up on the 8th, I decided to send him a birthday message. I wrote to him saying happy birthday and wished he get everything he wanted. I also wrote that I would have called him to say happy birthday instead of texting him but that he wasn't talking to me for some reason. I wished him all the best. It was a friendly text. I didn't hear from him all day. Thankfully, I kept myself busy the whole day with being at the hospital and my part-time job. Then in the middle of the night on the 9th at 4.27 my cell phone rings. I'm sleeping and half out of my mind. I'm positive it was him calling. He's done that before when he knows I've been annoyed with him that he rings from a "Private number" so I'll have to pick up the phone to see who is calling. At that time of the hour I wasn't in the mood for talking. Therefore for the first time ever regarding him, I ignored him. It took me a half an hour to fall back to sleep. None of my friends would be so rude to call at such an hour. He hasn't tried me again which isn't unusual for him. Last Monday, I decided I should let him know I'm still his friend and that I won't ever judge him. I wrote friends are forever and are there for each other in good and bad times. I wrote I didn't understand why he's ignoring me. He doesn't respond to me. I feel like he's playing a game with me. It wasn't nasty text messages and I didn't fly off the handle like I did in August with him. So I don't know where things stand with him but I can't worry anymore. I've only let 2 weeks go inbetween contacting him. Like if I didn't hear from him, I'd send him a text asking how he was. This is why he hasn't had to contact me (except for on the 9th) because he knows sooner or later I'll give in. Now I'm going to be stubborn and not give in whatsoever. I have to break this cycle of me contacting him. When I contact him, he knows I'm still around.

Oh, and I still adore Virgos. They are my favorite star sign. I wouldn't mind dating one whatsoever.

this is what i need your exact bith date and time you were born and his *ask him "non-chalontly" if you can then i'll quickly see the charts and tell you. if his venus sign is an air sign then its made in heaven, to be honest though having a venus in sagitarius means you could well have two lovers you simply cannot let go of *don't fret, eventually you'll have to choose but you'll have enough information using your instincts then* for you the more honesty the better (and you might even get turned on the the honesty)

LSR - Cool, I will see what I can do. Thanks..

Mystical - I think you have given the guy enough chances to speak etc. If he's choosing to be immature about it, then so be it. Plenty more Virgo's in the sea..YOU WILL FIND A VIRGO..lol..

MM,

Yeah, it should be interesting if I ever meet another Virgo. Yes, I've given him plenty of chances. More than I should have. Oh well, lesson learnt the hard way. Don't give a guy to many chances. Check.

Everyone deserves a second chance but thats it. You will find someone else..when you least expect to..

That's what I'm hoping for will happen with someone new.

Hope is a living dream....

🙂