"Want to make sure you are the 'real deal'" (Page 3)

Posted by Ariqua

Posted by Metatron

Posted by Ariqua

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by Ariqua

Posted by Metatron

Posted by Ariqua

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by Ariqua

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by Ariqua
Did you cheat on your ex to be with your current bf or did you end the relationship with the ex before dating him?

Are you suspicious of other people because you yourself are untrustworthy?

I met him on a ski trip with mutual friends.
Nothing flirtatious on the trip, I had a boyfriend and I'm loyal in a relationship.
After the ski trip we were talking on fb messanger about the trip and he was so funny and real and honest and I suddenly realized I liked him, a lot more than my boyfriend.
I might have crossed a line a day or two before I broke up with my boyfriend. Told the guy I liked him more then a friend and he admitted the same.
After friend and I broke up, we waited 3 weeks before going on our first date. Then another week for our second and so on. We made things exclusive a month after our first date.

He cheated in his past, but then was cheated on by the love of his life so he says he would never out someone through that pain again, but yu can never be certain.

😑 but...you cheated.

How?
By liking someone ..and then breaking up with my boyfriend? When I realized? I broke up with my bf as soon as I could.
Nothing physical even happen between us until a month in.

Maybe not to other people but it’s cheating to me. It’s shady behavior at the very least. Especially because it was his friend.

ending a relationship with someone, because you realize you have stronger feelings for another, is definitely not cheating IMO....seems like its just the right thing to do...I see that suggested on here all the time, as an alternative to actually cheating.....

How do you develop strong feelings for someone while you’re in a relationship in the first place unless you’re open to it?

Guess you have never felt a strong connection? Sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants. It's an awful thing to feel. It's not fun, no one wants to fall for another while with someone.
There's a quote that says " if you love two people at the same time. Choose the 2nd, because if you really loved the first you wouldn't have fallen for the second".

I wouldn’t expect that from someone at your age though. If your last relationship was bad then yes.

But no one has a perfectly fulfilling relationship and falls for someone else unless they want to. A relationship is a commitment to another person...it’s not “well I’ll stay unless I find someone better.” 🤷🏻‍♀️

Commitment has many aspects though. There should also be commitment to be honest about where you're at emotionally, if you feel you are falling out of love, not going to work out etc. Dating is not marriage where you vow to stick it out regardless....If my partner meets someone they feel more for, I absolutely would want to know and set them free to explore that....Can't imagine anything worse than someone staying with me merely out of obligation/commitment...

Alternatively I can’t imagine chasing every fleeting feeling of lust.

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agreed....I have a friend with Venus in Aries, who is like this...addicted to the infatuation phase of love. And I don't mean to generalize that placement, but a lot of Astrologers do mention this as a potential trait or proclivity. That said, when I've discussed it with him, he's honest w/partners about where his feelings are at any given time in the relationship, he does not cheat but will break up first, etc., and he also forewarns ahead of time that he's never really been able to do LTRs, doesn't think he's LTR material, etc. Many women decide to try with him regardless....

What I've found is that I can't fault him in any of it. Its not my idea of love, but in a sense I understand it. That early infatuation phase of courtship, where you are putting your best foot forward, at your most creative/romantic, most engaged, and that neurochemical cocktail is at its strongest - really is a beautiful thing, and if he wants to continue to experience that over and over, and never settle down, because that's what he views as the greatest aspect of love, as long as he's honest about it, I can't argue against it. On some levels I envy his experience even...

Posted by Ariqua

Posted by Metatron

Posted by Ariqua

Posted by Metatron

Posted by Ariqua

Posted by Metatron

Posted by Ariqua

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by Ariqua

Posted by Boots1313

Posted by Ariqua
Did you cheat on your ex to be with your current bf or did you end the relationship with the ex before dating him?

Are you suspicious of other people because you yourself are untrustworthy?

I met him on a ski trip with mutual friends.
Nothing flirtatious on the trip, I had a boyfriend and I'm loyal in a relationship.
After the ski trip we were talking on fb messanger about the trip and he was so funny and real and honest and I suddenly realized I liked him, a lot more than my boyfriend.
I might have crossed a line a day or two before I broke up with my boyfriend. Told the guy I liked him more then a friend and he admitted the same.
After friend and I broke up, we waited 3 weeks before going on our first date. Then another week for our second and so on. We made things exclusive a month after our first date.

He cheated in his past, but then was cheated on by the love of his life so he says he would never out someone through that pain again, but yu can never be certain.

😑 but...you cheated.

How?
By liking someone ..and then breaking up with my boyfriend? When I realized? I broke up with my bf as soon as I could.
Nothing physical even happen between us until a month in.

Maybe not to other people but it’s cheating to me. It’s shady behavior at the very least. Especially because it was his friend.

ending a relationship with someone, because you realize you have stronger feelings for another, is definitely not cheating IMO....seems like its just the right thing to do...I see that suggested on here all the time, as an alternative to actually cheating.....

How do you develop strong feelings for someone while you’re in a relationship in the first place unless you’re open to it?

Feelings aren't always something that are under conscious control. If someone is in your social circle, you spend time with them, communicate around interests, laugh together, etc. - and feelings arise. If you're with someone, you hope they stop at the level of friendship. But if you happen to meet someone in your shared circle of friends, to where you both feel like you're really struggling internally around this person - and there's a romantic attraction there, a better compatibility, etc., assuming there are no marital issues to factor in, why would it be wrong to break up and pursue it? There are people who literally use that as a litmus test as to whether or not they are really in love. They don't go seeking out other connections, but if someone can sway them like that, they take it as a sign that the emotional/romantic bond isn't where it needs to be with their current partner.

This is sad and not my definition of love. But cest la vie.

I tend to stick with what's familiar myself....But there have been times in my life where I regret having done so, and I don't fault anyone else for pursuing a stronger chemistry....I also don't think love has any one strict definition. Even from an astrological perspective, wherever Venus happens to land in a partner's chart, how its aspected/expressed, etc., I think you're bound to learn something new from that person about the nature and possible expression of love....

I agree that love means different things to different people. For some people love is just financial security and theyre happy with that. I shouldn’t pity other people’s views of love. My own view has always been kind of idealistic anyway. It’s hard to give that up.

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lol....I hear you believe me.....I actually have many different idealistic views of love I entertain....but the oldest view of true love for me, which I feel is innate - have had it as long as I can remember - is so idealistic that no one I know really shares it anymore, and I don't even hope for it any longer....definitely have grown cynical at least on that practical aspect, but still it persists as an ideal....I get these brief romantic encounters where I start to believe again but the reality sets in eventually and I'm disappointed....I tend to just see all relationship now as a temporary learning/growing process....and I hold out hope that there's some better more perfect and universal form of love on another plane of existence....I'll stop now before I get too weird...

Posted by ChuggingA

Posted by ChuggingA

Posted by ChuggingA
Text him right now and say "feed your treetrunkin cat bro"

And if he says he already did call him a liar lol

And use his cat as an excuse to drop in on him whenever you want like just checking to see the cats doing aight.

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Lolol! you are killin me bro...

Posted by Ariqua

Posted by -sierra
i still kinda look down on it though..

but my prissy azz will pretend not to notice someone flirting with me.. like i actually exert energy to not let anything grow with someone else.. maybe i'm an idiot and will get hurt without some safety net but i'll cross that bridgjojoe if i ever get there..

Real love is abandoning all exit strategies (safety net) in my opinion of course

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"Real love" yes...

I didn't have real love.

I have it now.

All my safety nets are cut, all my doors locked.

I have no eyes for anyone else in this



Shit there wasn't even a remote feeling of love....it could have grown eventually. ...

A break up was bound to happen sooner or later. Neither one of us was happy

Posted by RockyMountainOysters
This thread has became dumb...

Its one thing to be in love and cheat.. That's bad..

a whole other thing to be dating and find someone else you'd rather spend your time with... Does it hurt the one who gets rejected? Sure.. But jeez. People who become a martyr just to avoid hurting someone's feelings are dumb.. That's a safety net... That's the fear of the unknown and playing it safe in a going nowhere relationship. IMO

Fyck live your life..

*Thumb up*

You're a pretty cool dude

Posted by WolfInRamsClothing
Well congrats, you ruined the night.

So pretty, a Taurus, and unstable with trust issues ay ay ay.

True life

Alas...

wow sounds alot like my ex. you deserve better hun.