Confused by Taurus Man (Page 2)

You're controlling and analyzing the relationship that you're not allowing things to flow organically.



You have to learn to be in the moment with a Bull.

They're peace-loving Venusian creatures.

He flirts with you....you analyze.

He reassures you....you analyze.

He forgives the mention of your ex....you analyze.

He tell you he's tired, you keep texting... and still... you analyze.

Perfection doesn't exist.

Leave the knight and shining armor for the fairytales.

Keep these expectations up, and you will LOSE him!

LOL.

I already told you to relax.

No communication at all today, so I sent a text earlier tonight asking what he's doing Friday. (I already have plans, but would have gone to see him after, and wanted to see what he would say. We used to go out every Friday night.) I felt like seeing him in person would be the only helpful thing. He never responded. To me, it's quite clear he has taken a big step back. I'm tired of wasting time with the back and forth. Either date me, or don't. Don't be 100% in person and then disappear. That's giving mixed signals, and I'm too old for that.

I texted him almost four hours later basically saying it seems he has started pulling away, and if he is, I'll just stop bothering him. I said I'm not going to be upset or mad, but it would be nice to not have to wonder. I put a smile at the end. No response, yet he had been on Facebook. Lol

I'm done. I'm just on here venting at this point. However, a serious question to everyone, no matter your sign--Why is it SO damn hard for people to act like mature adults and use their words? Ghosting someone is not being an adult, especially when the person hasn't done anything so awful. I would MUCH rather someone be brutally honest and hurt my feelings than me have to guess what happened. ?

Maybe he's seeing someone as well (which to be honest things in bathroom is kinda seeming that way ) but liked you also - but you didn't want to stay the night and it probably felt weird to him. Plus the other issues (For me that's a deal breaker not staying over from my own past issues but I'm not him or a Taurus but I'd probably be very put off a guy that did that if I liked them). So he may have a woman that does do things like that and feels good to him versus someone that seems a bit disconnected or something.

I don't doubt he liked you and probably meant what he said but maybe it just seems or feels a bit not quite right and has gone with the other woman or isn't quite feeling it.

Sometimes it's just uncomortable to have to spell it out when someone backs you in a corner like that as it would be obvious if they didn't answer or they break communication habits again I dunno again I'm not a Taurus, but I'm answering as a fellow Cancer. Sometimes you want to give an answer to someone who puts it out there out of kindness but the way they do it just makes it feel so uncomfortable and icky so leaving it gives the same message and bugs you out less.

I read a great quote around Xmas - remember not getting the message is the same as getting the message.

Talking about talking to your ex is such a boner killer. FYI.

Posted by ConfusedAboutTaurus
No communication at all today, so I sent a text earlier tonight asking what he's doing Friday. (I already have plans, but would have gone to see him after, and wanted to see what he would say. We used to go out every Friday night.) I felt like seeing him in person would be the only helpful thing. He never responded. To me, it's quite clear he has taken a big step back. I'm tired of wasting time with the back and forth. Either date me, or don't. Don't be 100% in person and then disappear. That's giving mixed signals, and I'm too old for that.

I texted him almost four hours later basically saying it seems he has started pulling away, and if he is, I'll just stop bothering him. I said I'm not going to be upset or mad, but it would be nice to not have to wonder. I put a smile at the end. No response, yet he had been on Facebook. Lol

I'm done. I'm just on here venting at this point. However, a serious question to everyone, no matter your sign--Why is it SO damn hard for people to act like mature adults and use their words? Ghosting someone is not being an adult, especially when the person hasn't done anything so awful. I would MUCH rather someone be brutally honest and hurt my feelings than me have to guess what happened. ?

The reason he went from 100 to stepping back is because of something he saw/heard/learned about you. People are allowed to change their minds.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by ConfusedAboutTaurus
No communication at all today, so I sent a text earlier tonight asking what he's doing Friday. (I already have plans, but would have gone to see him after, and wanted to see what he would say. We used to go out every Friday night.) I felt like seeing him in person would be the only helpful thing. He never responded. To me, it's quite clear he has taken a big step back. I'm tired of wasting time with the back and forth. Either date me, or don't. Don't be 100% in person and then disappear. That's giving mixed signals, and I'm too old for that.

I texted him almost four hours later basically saying it seems he has started pulling away, and if he is, I'll just stop bothering him. I said I'm not going to be upset or mad, but it would be nice to not have to wonder. I put a smile at the end. No response, yet he had been on Facebook. Lol

I'm done. I'm just on here venting at this point. However, a serious question to everyone, no matter your sign--Why is it SO damn hard for people to act like mature adults and use their words? Ghosting someone is not being an adult, especially when the person hasn't done anything so awful. I would MUCH rather someone be brutally honest and hurt my feelings than me have to guess what happened. ?

The reason he went from 100 to stepping back is because of something he saw/heard/learned about you. People are allowed to change their minds.

click to expand

I think this point is often overlooked.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by ConfusedAboutTaurus
No communication at all today, so I sent a text earlier tonight asking what he's doing Friday. (I already have plans, but would have gone to see him after, and wanted to see what he would say. We used to go out every Friday night.) I felt like seeing him in person would be the only helpful thing. He never responded. To me, it's quite clear he has taken a big step back. I'm tired of wasting time with the back and forth. Either date me, or don't. Don't be 100% in person and then disappear. That's giving mixed signals, and I'm too old for that.

I texted him almost four hours later basically saying it seems he has started pulling away, and if he is, I'll just stop bothering him. I said I'm not going to be upset or mad, but it would be nice to not have to wonder. I put a smile at the end. No response, yet he had been on Facebook. Lol

I'm done. I'm just on here venting at this point. However, a serious question to everyone, no matter your sign--Why is it SO damn hard for people to act like mature adults and use their words? Ghosting someone is not being an adult, especially when the person hasn't done anything so awful. I would MUCH rather someone be brutally honest and hurt my feelings than me have to guess what happened. ?

The reason he went from 100 to stepping back is because of something he saw/heard/learned about you. People are allowed to change their minds.

click to expand

Yes, but he goes back and forth. In person, he is always great. Even after the first bump of him being annoyed about the ex (which I totally understand), he was totally attentive and sweet in person. Now, all this.

I tend to think the post about him possibly seeing someone else and me making him doubt could be true. But, if a person is asking that you just be honest with them, why can't he just be honest? I haven't reacted badly to anything else I've seen or found out that's alarming. I was calm and rational. Him handling things like a child is just making me lose respect for him. :/

It just feels so unsettling to leave things without an understanding. I know life is not perfect or fair, but still.

Posted by ConfusedAboutTaurus
No communication at all today, so I sent a text earlier tonight asking what he's doing Friday. (I already have plans, but would have gone to see him after, and wanted to see what he would say. We used to go out every Friday night.) I felt like seeing him in person would be the only helpful thing. He never responded. To me, it's quite clear he has taken a big step back. I'm tired of wasting time with the back and forth. Either date me, or don't. Don't be 100% in person and then disappear. That's giving mixed signals, and I'm too old for that.

I texted him almost four hours later basically saying it seems he has started pulling away, and if he is, I'll just stop bothering him. I said I'm not going to be upset or mad, but it would be nice to not have to wonder. I put a smile at the end. No response, yet he had been on Facebook. Lol

I'm done. I'm just on here venting at this point. However, a serious question to everyone, no matter your sign--Why is it SO damn hard for people to act like mature adults and use their words? Ghosting someone is not being an adult, especially when the person hasn't done anything so awful. I would MUCH rather someone be brutally honest and hurt my feelings than me have to guess what happened. ?

It's quite possible that he hasn't made a decision yet, or even more has things going on his life where he is unable to get back to you in your time frame.

I can understand this point in a burgeoning relationship can be fraught with highs and lows, doubts and mistrust but for God's sake you have to be like a swan. Even if you are freaking out, you gotta keep your shit together.

Neuroses are rarely attractive.

Posted by jeane

Posted by ConfusedAboutTaurus
No communication at all today, so I sent a text earlier tonight asking what he's doing Friday. (I already have plans, but would have gone to see him after, and wanted to see what he would say. We used to go out every Friday night.) I felt like seeing him in person would be the only helpful thing. He never responded. To me, it's quite clear he has taken a big step back. I'm tired of wasting time with the back and forth. Either date me, or don't. Don't be 100% in person and then disappear. That's giving mixed signals, and I'm too old for that.

I texted him almost four hours later basically saying it seems he has started pulling away, and if he is, I'll just stop bothering him. I said I'm not going to be upset or mad, but it would be nice to not have to wonder. I put a smile at the end. No response, yet he had been on Facebook. Lol

I'm done. I'm just on here venting at this point. However, a serious question to everyone, no matter your sign--Why is it SO damn hard for people to act like mature adults and use their words? Ghosting someone is not being an adult, especially when the person hasn't done anything so awful. I would MUCH rather someone be brutally honest and hurt my feelings than me have to guess what happened. ?

It's quite possible that he hasn't made a decision yet, or even more has things going on his life where he is unable to get back to you in your time frame.

I can understand this point in a burgeoning relationship can be fraught with highs and lows, doubts and mistrust but for God's sake you have to be like a swan. Even if you are freaking out, you gotta keep your shit together.

Neuroses are rarely attractive.

click to expand

I get that, and you're right. Unfortunately, I've been through this before, and I have little tolerance for it anymore. I'm just not into wasting time or playing games. I want communication and honesty. If he is thinking or doesn't know what he wants, he could just tell me, and I'd back off and be fine in knowing that.

Posted by JohnTheBaptist100

Posted by jeane

Posted by ConfusedAboutTaurus
No communication at all today, so I sent a text earlier tonight asking what he's doing Friday. (I already have plans, but would have gone to see him after, and wanted to see what he would say. We used to go out every Friday night.) I felt like seeing him in person would be the only helpful thing. He never responded. To me, it's quite clear he has taken a big step back. I'm tired of wasting time with the back and forth. Either date me, or don't. Don't be 100% in person and then disappear. That's giving mixed signals, and I'm too old for that.

I texted him almost four hours later basically saying it seems he has started pulling away, and if he is, I'll just stop bothering him. I said I'm not going to be upset or mad, but it would be nice to not have to wonder. I put a smile at the end. No response, yet he had been on Facebook. Lol

I'm done. I'm just on here venting at this point. However, a serious question to everyone, no matter your sign--Why is it SO damn hard for people to act like mature adults and use their words? Ghosting someone is not being an adult, especially when the person hasn't done anything so awful. I would MUCH rather someone be brutally honest and hurt my feelings than me have to guess what happened. ?

It's quite possible that he hasn't made a decision yet, or even more has things going on his life where he is unable to get back to you in your time frame.

I can understand this point in a burgeoning relationship can be fraught with highs and lows, doubts and mistrust but for God's sake you have to be like a swan. Even if you are freaking out, you gotta keep your shit together.

Neuroses are rarely attractive.

I love your libra energy Libraurus! We could all certainly do with a balanced set of scales in our lives.. lol lol

click to expand

ha! god knows i had plenty of moments of panic, doubt, anxiety, stress when i first met my partner. i understand not wanting to be messed around and wanting to know RIGHT NOW how he feels. that constant questioning of why hasn't he asked me out? is there someone else? maybe he doesn't like me that way? oh god, why did i say that? when will he respond? oh yea, not responding? well fuck you buddy!!! and the horse you rode in on. i remember it very well.

the only way i could deal with it was writing it out all my thoughts so i wouldn't project them on to him. i'm afraid my pride wouldn't allow me to show my cards. i was an impenetrable brick wall when it came to any deep emotion going in or out.

Posted by ConfusedAboutTaurus

Posted by jeane

Posted by ConfusedAboutTaurus
No communication at all today, so I sent a text earlier tonight asking what he's doing Friday. (I already have plans, but would have gone to see him after, and wanted to see what he would say. We used to go out every Friday night.) I felt like seeing him in person would be the only helpful thing. He never responded. To me, it's quite clear he has taken a big step back. I'm tired of wasting time with the back and forth. Either date me, or don't. Don't be 100% in person and then disappear. That's giving mixed signals, and I'm too old for that.

I texted him almost four hours later basically saying it seems he has started pulling away, and if he is, I'll just stop bothering him. I said I'm not going to be upset or mad, but it would be nice to not have to wonder. I put a smile at the end. No response, yet he had been on Facebook. Lol

I'm done. I'm just on here venting at this point. However, a serious question to everyone, no matter your sign--Why is it SO damn hard for people to act like mature adults and use their words? Ghosting someone is not being an adult, especially when the person hasn't done anything so awful. I would MUCH rather someone be brutally honest and hurt my feelings than me have to guess what happened. ?

It's quite possible that he hasn't made a decision yet, or even more has things going on his life where he is unable to get back to you in your time frame.

I can understand this point in a burgeoning relationship can be fraught with highs and lows, doubts and mistrust but for God's sake you have to be like a swan. Even if you are freaking out, you gotta keep your shit together.

Neuroses are rarely attractive.

I get that, and you're right. Unfortunately, I've been through this before, and I have little tolerance for it anymore. I'm just not into wasting time or playing games. I want communication and honesty. If he is thinking or doesn't know what he wants, he could just tell me, and I'd back off and be fine in knowing that.

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understandable. this appears to be the baggage you carry around with you (we all have something). recognise though that you are going to discount a number of potentially good men because of it. i guess there is someone for everyone, a key for every lock and this guy isn't the guy for you.

chalk it up to experience and dip your road in the water again and see who bites.

He texted me back yesterday morning saying he wants someone who wants and desires him. We ended up texting back and forth, and I tried to tell him I did. I told him I would like to see him again, if he was up for it. If he wasn't, then okay, and I was sorry for everything. He said he would see me, even though he still didn't completely believe me.

He ended up calling me, and we talked for a while. He had been thinking one thing (that I didn't want him and possibly was seeing my ex), and I was thinking another. He could sense I was guarded and he equated that to me not being interested. He said he really did like me and still maintains he hasn't been seeing anyone else. We agreed to be totally open and honest with each other from here on out. It was a really good conversation.

See what a little honest communication can do?! Ha

He texted me later last night and said he wants us to work.

Thanks, everyone, for all the advice!

PS-He also asked why I don't stay with him, again. He said he wants me to stay with him and said I could leave stuff over there. He told me to bring clothes over and keep them in his closet, he didn't care. So, maybe he wasn't seeing anyone else. Lol. All I can do at this point is trust him.

I told you it might be the staying the night thing !! 🙂) it's enough to wig anyone who's emotionally healthy out - Particularly if you've been with someone emotionally unavailable in the past which may or not be the case with him (but it can be a warning sign often so I run pronto when I encounter it).

Posted by Crazy4u

Posted by jeane

Posted by JohnTheBaptist100

Posted by jeane

Posted by ConfusedAboutTaurus
No communication at all today, so I sent a text earlier tonight asking what he's doing Friday. (I already have plans, but would have gone to see him after, and wanted to see what he would say. We used to go out every Friday night.) I felt like seeing him in person would be the only helpful thing. He never responded. To me, it's quite clear he has taken a big step back. I'm tired of wasting time with the back and forth. Either date me, or don't. Don't be 100% in person and then disappear. That's giving mixed signals, and I'm too old for that.

I texted him almost four hours later basically saying it seems he has started pulling away, and if he is, I'll just stop bothering him. I said I'm not going to be upset or mad, but it would be nice to not have to wonder. I put a smile at the end. No response, yet he had been on Facebook. Lol

I'm done. I'm just on here venting at this point. However, a serious question to everyone, no matter your sign--Why is it SO damn hard for people to act like mature adults and use their words? Ghosting someone is not being an adult, especially when the person hasn't done anything so awful. I would MUCH rather someone be brutally honest and hurt my feelings than me have to guess what happened. ?

It's quite possible that he hasn't made a decision yet, or even more has things going on his life where he is unable to get back to you in your time frame.

I can understand this point in a burgeoning relationship can be fraught with highs and lows, doubts and mistrust but for God's sake you have to be like a swan. Even if you are freaking out, you gotta keep your shit together.

Neuroses are rarely attractive.

I love your libra energy Libraurus! We could all certainly do with a balanced set of scales in our lives.. lol lol

ha! god knows i had plenty of moments of panic, doubt, anxiety, stress when i first met my partner. i understand not wanting to be messed around and wanting to know RIGHT NOW how he feels. that constant questioning of why hasn't he asked me out? is there someone else? maybe he doesn't like me that way? oh god, why did i say that? when will he respond? oh yea, not responding? well fuck you buddy!!! and the horse you rode in on. i remember it very well.

the only way i could deal with it was writing it out all my thoughts so i wouldn't project them on to him. i'm afraid my pride wouldn't allow me to show my cards. i was an impenetrable brick wall when it came to any deep emotion going in or out.

@jeane I used to write things out too! I read them back now and think just how big of a deal I made things out to be and was glad I never voiced them!

click to expand

Me too. I was guarded as well. He needed some convincing that I wasn't toying with him. My only advice is recognise your behaviour and your reactions and don't jump to any conclusions! It could be your baggage talking and not reality. It's great that you took the time to talk to him and were open enough to consider that you might be wrong.

Hope everything goes smoothly for you here on in.

I'm going to be deleting this thread (how do I do that?), but wanted to tell you guys that my intuition was right. I couldn't understand how he could be 100% in person, and then disappear, at times, when we weren't together. The day we had that phone conversation, he asked to see me the next day. I already had plans, so I met up with him after. I found a used make-up remover cloth in his bathroom, still damp. I confronted him about it, and he had the lamest excuses I've ever heard. I had left his place, and he kept calling and begging me to talk to him in person. When I told him I was done, he started saying I was delusional. When that didn't work, he started saying he thought I was sleeping with my ex. Then that moved to me living with my ex...then that turned into me having a secret family, and how I should tell my husband. How dare I bring him into this and cheat on him. LOL Dude is crazy. And, can you believe that he asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend that night?! Just unbelievable.

He said I would probably find women's clothes in his dresser and closet, too. (I guess he wasn't sure how much I saw and wanted to cover his bases.) He said the stuff had to be from women he dated in the past, and he has no idea what's in his place. I asked how does a person not know what's in their own house, and then he blamed his housekeeper for bringing stuff over and leaving it. LOL So, I guess he also told the other girl she could leave stuff at his place. He isn't very smart. I could go on and on with the ridiculousness, but the point is...

If something feels off, it probably is. I am absolutely disgusted, but lesson learned.

How do I delete the whole thread, though? I see posts with lines through the title.

Nothing about this seemed kosher, right out of the gate with the original post.

Too much going on. Too much talking about the ex, weird lies, girly stuff in his bathroom, inconsistant communication, so on and so forth.

This is why I don't invest in someone until we're officially a couple. Takes more than a month, but at least I know a lot about the lady and she knows a lot about me and it got that way naturally over time.

Everyone is an individual with their own set of preferences, but as a Taurus, for whatever it's worth, my advice for the OP should she ever date another Taurus is this: slow down.

Posted by ConfusedAboutTaurus
I'm going to be deleting this thread (how do I do that?), but wanted to tell you guys that my intuition was right. I couldn't understand how he could be 100% in person, and then disappear, at times, when we weren't together. The day we had that phone conversation, he asked to see me the next day. I already had plans, so I met up with him after. I found a used make-up remover cloth in his bathroom, still damp. I confronted him about it, and he had the lamest excuses I've ever heard. I had left his place, and he kept calling and begging me to talk to him in person. When I told him I was done, he started saying I was delusional. When that didn't work, he started saying he thought I was sleeping with my ex. Then that moved to me living with my ex...then that turned into me having a secret family, and how I should tell my husband. How dare I bring him into this and cheat on him. LOL Dude is crazy. And, can you believe that he asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend that night?! Just unbelievable.

He said I would probably find women's clothes in his dresser and closet, too. (I guess he wasn't sure how much I saw and wanted to cover his bases.) He said the stuff had to be from women he dated in the past, and he has no idea what's in his place. I asked how does a person not know what's in their own house, and then he blamed his housekeeper for bringing stuff over and leaving it. LOL So, I guess he also told the other girl she could leave stuff at his place. He isn't very smart. I could go on and on with the ridiculousness, but the point is...

If something feels off, it probably is. I am absolutely disgusted, but lesson learned.

LoL at people that think Taurus and Scorpio aren't alike.

Used make-up towel in the bathroom still damp? I believe that was a setup so he could be confronted and get all of his feelings/insecurities out on the table....or possibly a setup to end the relationship/situation. Either way, setup.

Posted by Bricks195
Nothing about this seemed kosher, right out of the gate with the original post.

Too much going on. Too much talking about the ex, weird lies, girly stuff in his bathroom, inconsistant communication, so on and so forth.

This is why I don't invest in someone until we're officially a couple. Takes more than a month, but at least I know a lot about the lady and she knows a lot about me and it got that way naturally over time.

Everyone is an individual with their own set of preferences, but as a Taurus, for whatever it's worth, my advice for the OP should she ever date another Taurus is this: slow down.

He's the one who was moving things along quickly. I was the one who was apprehensive. My post on here wasn't because I was deep in my feelings; it was because I suspected something was up. I don't do games, and I don't like being played. But, at the same time, it was too early for me to question the things that seemed fishy. The internet is much safer. 😉

Posted by lnana04

Posted by ConfusedAboutTaurus
I'm going to be deleting this thread (how do I do that?), but wanted to tell you guys that my intuition was right. I couldn't understand how he could be 100% in person, and then disappear, at times, when we weren't together. The day we had that phone conversation, he asked to see me the next day. I already had plans, so I met up with him after. I found a used make-up remover cloth in his bathroom, still damp. I confronted him about it, and he had the lamest excuses I've ever heard. I had left his place, and he kept calling and begging me to talk to him in person. When I told him I was done, he started saying I was delusional. When that didn't work, he started saying he thought I was sleeping with my ex. Then that moved to me living with my ex...then that turned into me having a secret family, and how I should tell my husband. How dare I bring him into this and cheat on him. LOL Dude is crazy. And, can you believe that he asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend that night?! Just unbelievable.

He said I would probably find women's clothes in his dresser and closet, too. (I guess he wasn't sure how much I saw and wanted to cover his bases.) He said the stuff had to be from women he dated in the past, and he has no idea what's in his place. I asked how does a person not know what's in their own house, and then he blamed his housekeeper for bringing stuff over and leaving it. LOL So, I guess he also told the other girl she could leave stuff at his place. He isn't very smart. I could go on and on with the ridiculousness, but the point is...

If something feels off, it probably is. I am absolutely disgusted, but lesson learned.

LoL at people that think Taurus and Scorpio aren't alike.

Used make-up towel in the bathroom still damp? I believe that was a setup so he could be confronted and get all of his feelings/insecurities out on the table....or possibly a setup to end the relationship/situation. Either way, setup.

click to expand

Not a setup. It was in his trashcan that he never uses. I noticed it was always empty, except for this time. I went to throw something away, and there it was. I KNEW he would say it was from the weekend before and his buddies having girls over, and I knew that wasn't true, so I touched the corner of it, and it was still damp. Those things dry out pretty quickly, so there's no way it was in there for a week. Of course, that's what he tried to say first--It was from the weekend before. When I said it was damp, then he went on and on about how they don't dry out. When I said I know they do, because I use them, he changed to it being his housekeeper's...and on and on. He's not very smart about being deceitful.

Trust me, he was trying hard to have me believe he wasn't seeing anyone else I find that to be so odd. Why go through all that trouble?? Just keep the girl who doesn't know anything, and move along. And, the fact that he asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend...Lol. I avoided the question, because I thought it was too early for that. Anyway...on to the next. One thing I've learned from dating is that if a man is 40+, and has never been married...there's a reason. lol