Hello WB! Miss you too! (Page 3)

Hi! AQ,

It is 4:30 pm and after I wrote you this morning, I went back to bed for a little bit and that felt good. Got going again around 11 and took my dogs to the park and let them run!!! I had lunch at Raffertys and it was great. I had frozen strawberry daquari to drink and for meal I had prime rib and baked potato w/salad. It was fun! I wish you were there. I am at home and cutting grass and then go to do shopping and get that over with! Need everyting so I will spend some time and stock up. Usually I go to many different stores and it takes hours, but I think I just one place.
Tomorrow I see my parents because my sister is off and she can come with me. How is work going, I have been thinking about you all day. You say this is the busy season. Since you like my pajamas I will know what to get you for Christmas! hehe we can be twins LOL! I guess I should start learning yiddish too!! Oh! I got a new candle too. It is called ginger snaps and I have it going right now, smells really good. Ok, come on over to my house and I will make you something to eat and we can talk some more! That would be great!!! I would love it! Ok, I'll finish more later.
WB

AQ,

Hi! I am back and I did all the shopping and put everything aways and my dog got out again and I had to go track him down. I know the way he thinks, so I finally found him and he is sound a sleep and safe. I am feeling sad and lonley on this day and I have gone from happy to tears all day long, back and forth. If I hadnt got this job recently, I dont think I would even care to go on sometimes! I am very lonely and scared. I am scared of everything! I got a little freaked out on Friday at the way people were acting at pre-trial. I mean all we are trying to do is help, and they have no reason to act like they do! I am scared that something may happen, very bad. I am so lonely and I need someone to be with me. I dont like being alone. My birthday horoscopes says I do, but I have to disagree.
Anyway, sorry for going on like this. I'll be ok. I am going to go in my bedroom and put on a movie and maybe get some rest. I miss you so much AQ, you dont even know how much!!! I am going to take my new candle in there with me and my stuffed animals and my real ones and pray for peace and safety. I hope you are home and safe and happy and getting some love from Lubochka and he is taking good care of you!
I love you,
WB

WB oh bunny i don't like how it sound,,,,,
for past few weeks you've been so happy,energized
i'm o.k ,yep i'm at home, finally cleaned up my place, put away summer clothes and shoes,prepared all winter ones.
Cleaned all closests waxed floors so whole day i've been going through all this- now a little bit tired , but happy with the results-hate when it all get so messy and dirty.Wanted to go and do the shopping, maybe cook something but too tired, tommorow will do shopping and laundry......he-he nothing to wear almost.And all is fault of my work.
Igot a lot of stuffed animals too , my fav is lion from "lion king" cartoon,,,i wish i can have a puppy , but my schedule plus my landlords against that,,,,so for now i just looking at them at petshops.....lol
yep i just lighted a candle,about Lubochka he is strange and busy, so i took time just for myself.How they say when we lose , we figuring out what we lost, so will see it is up to him now, all in his hands---but one thing for sure , i'm not going to be here forever.
i want you to light up, smile, say that life is wonderfull, hug yourself , take a nice book, that makes you smile or movie and just relax....or maybe you'll go out?
i miss you too,,,,,be good, don't be sad
kisses and hugs....

AQ,

I am sorry for last post! I had gloomy spirit last night and let it inside me and not paying attention. Also had drink (alcohol) and this was why. I know why they call alcohol 'spirits' yes, it is refered to as distilled spirits and is not good ones. I didnt have much but it doesnt take much either. A little in moderation once in awhile, ok! I shouldnt dwell on bad things and world. I fell too sleep and didnt wnat to think anymore, just be. I fell asleep with the TV local new channel on and I woke up to Sunday gospel choir singing and it was beautiful sounds. I am back now! I want to paint my bedroom and I do a sky scene on the ceiling. I am painting darker so it is more serene. I also carpeting majority of bathroom. It gets cold in there in winter time, I like the way it feels. I am glad you got everything orgainized. I need to do closets next, but I have to do school work today because dont have desire or energy after work to be behind computer. Ok, I am going to make breakfast and I bought some of that rasberry tea and it was very good! I dont take sugar in coffee or tea and the tea you dont need any!
Sorry to hear about you and Lubochka! What is wrong with him? Can you call him and ask to talk to him about it all? It would clear your mind and get rid of questions. Where are you going— I hear you on the book; got any good titles you can suggests— I was reading James Herriot 'All Creatures Great and Small, and I finished Steven Ambrose's 'Undauned Courage' very good. 'The Poisionwood Bible', Barbra Kingsolver is another good one and anything Toni Morrision is great too.
Have a very restful and peaceful day and I will do what you said. Talk to you later.
Love you much,
WB

AQ,

If there is anything I can do or you need help for a change then would you say so. You always giving me direction and you sound like you are tired.

WB , i wanted to say good morning, than loked at the clocks and thought o.k ,o.k it is an afternoon alredy.
About tea, i like it with sugar and lubochka likes it with honey,he is crazy about rasberry tea.
About book: if you want a detective read "the villa" Nora Roberts...itis a mix of love,crime and some practical stuff, not really a tough scarry detective, if you want something heavy,more with chases and killing read" 24 hours" gref iles...and if honey wants something funny,wise,relaxing and educated try some fairtales, i'm not joking i just found a big collection of jewish ,german and irish,,don't really think they are for kids(at least not younger than 12 ,they will be bored)i finished jewish ones the book called"Elijah's violin & other jewish fairy tales" . I loved it so light ....i read it on the bus,subways ,,,,everywhere just couldn't put it down.
if you crave smth sexy and stimulating try"blaze" stephanie bond.....lol and in a middle some "hamlet" , some famous and old stuff would perk you up too.....
About alcohol,,,i thought so yesterday, but you were right i was too tired,,,but at least i know that for the next 2-3 weeks i'm good and my place is clean(usually i'm cleaning every week,if i have a time).So alcohol, you know i used to do that too and if you feel sad and lonely after drink it gets worse, i always was picking up phone and calling whoever was in my phonebook(good it happened just few ti mes, than i said "stop it, you make a fool of yourself") i guess it is better just to write like you do,but it sound so soultearing,,i guess if i wasn't tired i wouldwrite you a big letter and than try to contact you on a mentall level,to figure out why you felt that way,,,,,today you are more like you are,,,active, idea about carpeting bathroom is good, but sometimes in there carpet don't dry out fully and start smelling.—What do u think?
Do u have a lot of friends, are u going out besides by yourself or with sister?
o.k i got to go finish up that laundry,,,see you later,i'll tell u why i asked that question then.
love ya.
kisses and hugs

AQ,

No, I wasnt feeling sad and lonely before I started, but I did after I got going. I didnt have that much and I am fine really. Can we just drop it?? I would never call someone!! I dont talk on the phone anyways I dont like it much! Some people can hang on the phone for hours, not me!!
The bathroom is part tile, so the carpet wouldnt get wet unless there were plumbing leaks.
I am not a good friend to anyone. I have friends but I've never been a good one. I have had some and they would call and come by and two in particular made an effort and called me and they would drop by alot and I just cut them off completely. Both were people I use to spend alot of time with too. They pissed me off, and that was the end of it. My dad just asked who I was talking to and I told him a girl from Russian, and he said "ask her if she would like to meet me!" He is so funny! He still thinks he is some kind of stud! My mom is sitting her laughing at him and says "that is what happens when you get virtigo, you start thinking you look good because your so dizzy and everything is fuzzy"!!!
talk to you later!

AQ,

Ok, I am home now. What did you want to tell me. If it is about going out with girl friends, no I am not that type. That is not my style not that I have one but I dont think that is me. AQ, I am 42. I dont hang around women and look for men. I do need a man but I am not in the mood to go looking. If it happens, it does and if it doesnt, I work my a s s off in the mean time. I seriously need to drop my expectations of the one and only and let someone hold me, because this routine is not getting it. I am still very healthy and living like this is not something I want to do. I have as much drive as most men or more, and this isnt workin. I have controlled myself for five years and enough is enough. It is just getting past the ackwardness of being with someone you dont really know all that well. I have never done it before. Never had short term affair. Would be different. Ok, talk to me before I have to turn in and then I will know what you were thinking.
WB

WB i'm sorry if my previous post has upset you, i've been thinking whole evening how to explain what i meant,you know with my english consisting just from verbs,,,,,,lol
i didn't mean man hunting,i was asking about close friends who you trust and who you know,,,there been moments when i was drinking(can u believe that and i'm just 22) about 2 years ago i was in depression and refusing to get any help moved away from all my friends and somehow been feeling pity to myself, slowly start getting drunk, had fake id,,,than calling or going on line and sharing what a poor human being i was,,,,Don't think i'm comparing you to me,,,i'm just sharing with you, and about friends -----forget it , i was curious what kind of people u like bieng with or keep in touch,communicate,it is psycological thing, i guess me reading to much "Kraig"...i just like to use some of the theories in life,,helps me better understand people .....so accept my appology once again.
Good night,
kisses and hugs
Love ya.....
p.s "sharing thing" from that book too, it:" says if you think somebody is mad or upset with(on) you, share something intimate, same or just not queit "easy" in expiriencing, because that will help u tune them into your vibe." ——

AQ!
No, I am not upset. Not with you, ever! I love you. I think I can be a brat sometimes and when I dont get what I want then I act out. But what I want is just to be loved. oh, and has never happened. Not like you dream. I dont know what I expect sometimes though? Really, it is like I set myself up for dissappointment. On the night of my birthday I wanted to escape. I did it, and I didnt enjoy it. Up until then I hadnt touched it and I am not. I have this job and this is my focus for now and school. I just want to be touched and have such a lonely feeling inside and time isnt on my side. I need to talk it over with the Lord and he can put it right for me. When I leave him out, is when I start to fall apart and think these thoughts. I get blue and start wishing for things and making myself sick! Thank you for being a friend and for sharing yourself with me. I will be stronger and go on. Count blessings and not feel sorry for love. Hard to trade it off. It take all ofmy energy trying to.
Here is your hugs and smoochies got to go get ready for work.
Work is very good.

AQ,

What kind of people do I like communicating with? You! People who have accents intrige me and suck me right in and I love straightforwardness and peope who are real and 'what- you- see -is- what -you- get types'. I like the salt of the earth and I like strong values and ethics and people that have integrity and have sense of humor!! Not shallow. AQ, are you trying to figure my head out? If you do let me know. I would like to know what you find. Ask me anything you want and I will tell you, for real! I will not try and make it better than it is. I will give 100% honest answer. I do anyways. I sense you dont like weakness in people, but AQ sometimes people got to let it out and who the hell cares what others think! I have nothing to prove. I am just a stranger to them. I am going to go take a warm shower and lay down. I only got about 4 hours sleep the last two nights and I feel kind of sick. I have to feed my dogs too. AQ, I will try and be stronger. I love it when you talk to me gently and call me bunny and sweety; it makes me feel happy 🙂 Even like looney tooney. What makes you feel good and what makes you smile AQ? Please tell me!!!
Love you
(((hugs and smoochie)))!!!!!
WB

AQ, Maybe can we talk on the phone sometime—

ohhhhhh i wrote a big message and this comp....ohhhh
WB how are you honey!
sorry for silence....i'll see you soon.
1) fell on stairs in a subway,so all this worry over leg took some time,,,,,,just still a little bit swallowed,will be alright,not to worry
2) trying to reach my friends in Moscow,,,,so takes time to get everybody and make sure they all alright
3) my work is still busy,dizzy,,,,,plus cause off the leg movimg like ,,,,let say very slow, plus it is scratching and damaged part of skin is hrts,---prefer to sit or lay, not to move.....lol
miss ya
kisses and hugs
p.s phone idea is good, lets do it
by-bye

AQ,

Why did not tell me you hurt yourself?? Are you ok Now? Is is broken or anything. You have to be more careful. Oh, I hope to hell Lubochka is helping you, if he is any man at all this will prove it! he should!!! Yes, lay down as much as you can. If your back starts to bother you too much then sit up. Also keep it elevated and can you sit in the tub and soak it in warm water. I put little bit of green alcohol if muscles stiff and sore and this makes it feel all better. Plus you will sleep like a baby afterwards. Geez, its always something with you or me. Work is going pretty wonderfully. Learn so much and never same day! Last night was late one because of drug court. Today was children displayed there art work on the the first floor of building and it was messages about not doing drugs. Very nice stuff. Young talent; Ilove it. I have met a wonderful friend my age and so much in common like a sister, like you!
I have much respect for her and she is very good legal mind. Helps many people and has such a good heart. She has had a very hard life but not bitter, just the opposite. I needed a friend. I was feeling a little sad and upset this past week and was glad she was there to listen. It just happens that we work together too. I am about ready for Florida soon. We can go when it is cold out and nice and warm down there. Jamacia is sounding good too? Ever been there before—?
Love and miss you alot too, AQ. Hope you feel better!!! Get some rest and talk to you again.
How is the family; did you get in touch?
hug and smooches
WB

hello 🙂 is this some kinda friendship diary thing? or can i not say hi? 🙂

Hi!

Yes, this is a private thread between AQ and me.

AQ,

Are you doin alright?? How is everything over in Moscow. I saw where they stormed that theatre. I had to turn it off cause I am just burnt out on all the violence. How is your family and your leg? I got up early because I forgot to turn the clocks back. I always up early anyway. I gonna go make some coffee. I found some really good stuff called Black Rhino and it is wonderful. I already took the dogs out and doing laundry. Oh! the sun is starting to shine, yeah!!! I am going to hang it up outside. Need to hit the books. I have let school work slide and now I am playing catch up and I dont feel like it. Not interested and it is not educating me! If it stays nice out I will be outside and maybe go for another walk. I wanted to go to the mountains but have to wait till next weekend. Let me now how you are doing. Miss you!

Smoochie and hugs
WB

LuZ hello,,,it is kinda girly talky-walky,,,,but if you got an extra opinion -you are welcome.
WB hello,,,with Moscow it worked out for best,at least they didn;t start shooting people, but if you heard about 180 people died cause of the neuro-paralitic gas they used to stop stand-off, who had heart problem or felt nauses and wasn't able to breath,,,,it is teriable--my friends are fine, but my other friends fiance;s 14 years old boy in a coma,,,almost no chances,,,,spent whole day talking to her....
My leg is fine,almost no swelling just few scratches,it will be o.k the day i fell and next day was pretty bad, but i did that warm bathtubs and all as u said-----thanks u always the best.
Lubochka is good,,,lol
Nothing new,
So how is you colledge? Did u finished your homework? I love when clothes dring outside, they smell so good after.
About your new friend, you go girl, it is very good to meet people who u find intresting and also stay in touch with them.....
o.k i'm going to bed, busy day at work, as usuall.
kinda tired after that emotional turmoil with Moscow.
I see you later.
Be good, enjoy your tommorow and work!
kisses and hugs.
miss ya

AQ,

I didnt forget you! I just dont know what to say about all this going on anymore! It is scary and tragic sad and very disturbing. It is everyday pounded in all of this violence.
I pray for your friends recovery. Maybe they will get better, AQ!! God I pray! Anyways, I thinking of your all day everyday constantly and love you very much.
Miss you much,
wish i could really Hugging you
WB

WB Thanks a lot for your support and for your sensetive and kind heart!!!!!!
I miss you so much too.....just wanted to let you know that i appreciate and tresure your friendship.!!!!!
How is your work and studies going?
Hope you o.k,
How is your dogs? Your new friend?
be good, smile,,,everything should be alright.
love ya
kisses and hugs

WB hello, where are u?
are u o.k?
mad?
busy?
whats going on,i'm worrying?
bye.
kisses and hugs

AQ,

Dont worry she is fine and very well. She lost her password and cant log on anymore, so I told her she can use mine whenever you guys want to hook up!

She would never be mad at you!

She Loves you and thinks the world of you and that is, for real. She talks about you and tells me all the time what a wonderful friend and person you are.

How is Lubochka? Is he helping you out/and what about your friends in Russia are they ok?

Ok, I hope you are well, and Im sure you will be hearing from you soon and getting many smoochies and hugs too! She loves doing that! 🙂

Thanx Suzy-Q......
tell her i said hello,,,,and hopefully she recalls pasword or re-regester soon, main thing that she is fine...
WB KISSES AND HUGS TO YOU!

AQ!

Hi! its me WB, and I really miss you sugar alot!

Oh! I wanted to hear from you so bad, and you always show up when I need you the most!

What happened too you? You said you would write unless something serious came up. Anyway, never mind about that as long as you ok; I am glad you came looking for me. How are you doing and your leg is it all better? and you friends?
Yes I am fine and how about you? I am just thinking that I have other friends that only care for me a little bit and act like they do me a favor or feeling sorry for me and that is all. They think that I want something and they dont want to give it. Actually I dont know what they think but I cant listen to it sometimes because I get all confused and misconstrude all of it. I only hear maybe a couple of words that sound like, "I dont like you that much" not like you want me to, and "you make me feel guilty" etc.. they say things that gets on my nerves! I mean, what do they think I am and what ever gave them the idea that I have to have someone in order to be ok. I am ok and when the right person comes along, then fine. I am fine the way I am. Still lonely for someone to love though. How about you and Lubochka did you guys work it out?
Went and splurged on a antique guitar, and I am having some fun with it. I use to play all the time and have not and started to get into it again.
Dogs are good but still running away and driving me nuts. Got to go pick my sister up soon and then try and get assignments in.

Still want to call you. I will give you my work number and you can call me and then you dont pay for it. You tell me where to send it.

Love you very much
Hugs to you too and lots of smoochies with it!
WB

Hey girl, finally,,,,,i wasn't writing cause i thought u busy and have no time to check my writings, so for a while i've been looking for new posts and than start to worry.
my leg is fine,,,,,
Lubochka , i don't know what;s up with him, lately was hard to get him , eather voicemail or somwhere where reception is bad than i just stpped calling, for past week,,,trying even not to think and it worked,,,untill u asked...whatever.
moscow - my close friends fiance's bother who's been in coma died,,,,terrible---i disconecting my thoughts on that ..better not to think.
guitar is good, i used to play a little bit...long time ago, haven't tried since i'm here, for almost 5,5 years.
Friends,,,,,oh tell them to go.....very far from you..o.k? Who give people wrights to judge whats better for whom, we all in charge of our own lives and doing whatever good for us,,,,,in that case tell them that if they have nothing nice to say, to stay silent.
Good luck with your assignment,
me is fine as usual, just work is still crazy, gonna stay like this till december and than from the middle of january to march(insurance renewal), anyway, be good, smile,don't take your friends to seriously, life is serious enough to take people like this too close to the heart.
kisses and hugs
love ya.
my e-mail is urlovelybaby@aol.com
chao.

WB..
so that is why u didn't log on —?
listen i put my e-mail in previous message,,,,if you'll feel like writing me u are welcome u know that...
bye
kisses and hugs

AQ,

Why dont you answer your mail? Are you getting them?

WB

AQ,

Where are you? I need to talk to you, please. Will you go back on-line and let me try again. I need to tell you something.
WB

AQ,

Are You alright? Answer your mail!!!

Love you,
Suzy