Inexperienced Taurus with heavy water placements - what to do? (Page 2)

Posted by DonnaElvira77

I get the sense from your posts you are a cool interesting person. He either does not want a relationship or he doesn't want one with you. But will take what you offer. I don't see that changing. But what YOU see and I see could be very different.

You have to weigh him up and what he has said with your sensitivity level. Personally for me he would be way too risky. But that's me. I know I would be hurt. And more than that. The bottom line is. What he is offering is not what I want at all. So that kinda makes me not want him.

If he is not offering what you want do you want him? Because right now he certainly isn't. Or what I sense you want.


But that being said. Women have different sensitivity levels or emotional needs etc. You are you not me.

Thanks, that's kind of harsh for me to hear, but I'm prepared in a way anyway, not a day goes by that I DON'T think about that statement he made, but already through discussing what it means for both of us to be "dating" he changed his mind about it. I mean, it wasn't just me who "settled" a bit, we both really met in the middle.
I'm giving him a chance, even though I'll be hurt if he doesn't want to be with me, because of three reasons;
1. We're a great match on many levels
2. HE keeps pursuing ME - out of all the contact being made here, he is initiating 98% of it and includes me in EVERYTHING he does. He really is trying.
3. His inexperience. He doesn't really know what he's doing or saying right now, he's completely changed his world in the past few weeks and done something that's completely out of his comfort zone. I'm giving him time to make up his mind, and well, honestly.. I'd like time to sort this out too. I like him and I want to be with him, but in my experience you need a couple of months to REALLY see who you're with.

Posted by DonnaElvira77
If he is not offering what you want do you want him? That is the question you need to ask.

He said he just doesn't want to be definite about being in a relationship right away, after only a couple of weeks.
I told you he was inexperienced, haha.
I said mature relationships doesn't happen that way and there's no pressure.

Posted by jeane

Posted by wicked
I do agree with you jeane.. but did she sleep with him right away? I think they were friends first? Knew each other for some months? Didnt she like say no? Too soon in her situation is doing it without getting lovey dovey if thats what she is looking for.
But i know taurus men who have asked their casual affairs to become exclusive with them. Yes it has happened too :-)
A friend of mine slept with him the first week of knowing the guy and dating him. Now he has asked her to marry him. ... they went steady for two yrs.

but this is a thread about guy who doesn't want a relationship after sleeping with her. i'm sure you can find exceptions to the rule but in my experience, taurus are discerning. i've found that some will sleep with you if it is offer but they won't think long term while others will become celibate until they find a person who meets their requirements. the number of threads here from women who have been firmly placed in the 'booty call' section of the rolodex is testament to that.

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He is including me in long term plans though, not just weekend plans! :O

Posted by wicked
@jeane:
Yeah most threads are about that. Only difference here is, he is including her in his activities and spending time with her. Men also develop emotions when they spend time with a non significant other.
I wish the op would come back and update us.
Some of the easiest men to get are Taureans IME! I dont even hold back on being impulsive nor temperamental. Still they stayed around me for years. As long as they know you are not promiscuous, and the connection is intense, I dont think they will hold it against the gal. As long as it is not on the first two dates and u knew each other for a while.
I feel when a woman holds out on the sex for too long with a taurus guy, it backfires. Seen it happen few times. Especially when they werent super crazy about the gal. They do wait if they believe you are The One.

Well, this is interesting but the main thing that changed after the argument we had is that we became even close and better friends after that.
I noticed that as soon as I started opening up and being more romantic and complimentary towards him, he did the same.
I did learn something about myself, I need to open up more and be more sensitive toward the guy I like. I can adopt a way too friendly stance right away, it's both a way to protect myself (I don't like being "soft" and "weak" too soon) and something I'm used to because most of my friends are guys and always have been.

He has this thing where he says I'm beautiful with my hair up. I sent him a picture of that in a text and he saved it on his phone so he could "watch it whenever I want". Then he said this: "I wish I could show this picture to my 15-year old self. You know, to let him know everything will work out in the end."

He's a Star Wars nerd and this was probably a joke but as he was watching an old SW-movie he sent this text; "will you be my Leia?" lol.

Will be hanging out this weekend, and there'll be no sexual situations this time, not because anyone's avoiding it but we're doing other stuff with other people 🙂

Posted by jpx

Posted by jeane

Posted by wicked
I do agree with you jeane.. but did she sleep with him right away? I think they were friends first? Knew each other for some months? Didnt she like say no? Too soon in her situation is doing it without getting lovey dovey if thats what she is looking for.
But i know taurus men who have asked their casual affairs to become exclusive with them. Yes it has happened too :-)
A friend of mine slept with him the first week of knowing the guy and dating him. Now he has asked her to marry him. ... they went steady for two yrs.

but this is a thread about guy who doesn't want a relationship after sleeping with her. i'm sure you can find exceptions to the rule but in my experience, taurus are discerning. i've found that some will sleep with you if it is offer but they won't think long term while others will become celibate until they find a person who meets their requirements. the number of threads here from women who have been firmly placed in the 'booty call' section of the rolodex is testament to that.

He is including me in long term plans though, not just weekend plans! :O

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i think you have a more unique situation. like you said yourself, he is inexperienced and doesn't quite know what he wants or where he is going. is he playing you? i don't feel confident that i know enough to say one way or the other.

my post is more a generalisation about the group as a whole based on what i have been told and witnessed for myself.

I'm pretty sure he isn't. He's been consistent with me from day one, no flaky behaviour whatsoever when it comes to showing his interest and making plans with me.
Maybe I should also mention that we have known each other since july and tha he tried asking me out three months ago, but I never got back to him, as I didn't know what I was feeling for him at all.

He's made it clear that he can't just be with anyone when it comes to sex and also he has some trust issues from childhood, from what he's told me.
I think he's being as honest as he can right now, I'm just confused by him actually acting like my boyfriend but not realizing it.
I'm not going to bring it up though, I'm going to let him make that connection himself and figure it out for himself, at least for the time being.

Posted by wicked
@jeane: I think your bf is a taurus guy. Did u wait to get intimate? And if u did, did he make you his gf after making you wait? Or within a decent time? Im trying to understand your point.
I personally know few gals whobhad sex with taurus men 'too soon' and still became their steady gf. Chemistry matters a lot.

we did wait. he made me his girlfriend after i showed restraint. he said to me "i like it that you don't give it up easy to me."

i'm not saying chemistry doesn't matter. they are a sensual sign! of course it matters to them. it i just not the only factor to having a relationship with a taurus.

i'll go back to what you said initially "As long as it didnt start as a one night stand you dont have to worry too much abt it." in my experience and what i have read and witnessed, i disagree with this.

you then when on to say "Some of the easiest men to get are Taureans IME!", also i would say, not true. easiest guys to get...aries? gemini? libra? pisces? but then again, it's one thing to get them, another to keep them.

Posted by Nevermore

Posted by jeane

Posted by wicked
Lets see jeane. And where are the male taureans? Would like their insight.

i'm just telling you what i have been told by taurean men.

and hemispheres is also a bull (i think? have i made that up?)

Fuck that guy, he's sociopath that doesn't deserved to be called taurus bull.

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hahah, ok. what about idk? he's one too isn't he?

Posted by wicked
Didnt the op say she knew the guy as a casual friend? And started to know each other well for a few weeks? That is not too soon.
I dont have the time to go back and read what she wrote.
If this were a one night stand, or an online hookup where they hardly seen each other irl, then it cld be a red flag. Taurus men r not dumb. They sit n watch the gal for a while.
Anyways I cld be wrong. Maybe he is using her for sex. The thing is is she feeling as if she is being used for sex alone? With taurus men, look for their actions. Infact with any men, its their actions that count. Not words.

Yeah, met in july because one of my best friends is his friend as well and because we have the same interests.
We kept in touch for a bit after that (he kept contacting me and asked me out at one point) but didn't start hanging out until four MONTHS later, so I'd say it hasn't been fast, though when we started hanging out, our contact went from a little to all the time.
I don't feel like I'm being used for sex, no.

Posted by wicked
Didnt the op say she knew the guy as a casual friend? And started to know each other well for a few weeks? That is not too soon.
I dont have the time to go back and read what she wrote.
If this were a one night stand, or an online hookup where they hardly seen each other irl, then it cld be a red flag. Taurus men r not dumb. They sit n watch the gal for a while.
Anyways I cld be wrong. Maybe he is using her for sex. The thing is is she feeling as if she is being used for sex alone? With taurus men, look for their actions. Infact with any men, its their actions that count. Not words.

you're bringing it back to her situation. i'm talking about what you said about all bulls in general.

Posted by wicked
@jeane: most of the guys who have asked me to be their gal friend are taurus men. Its like u dont have to play mind games. Even being blunt works with them. They have loads n loads of patience. I have never heard a bull use a bad word around me. I was such a short tempered, impulsive, aggressive, arrogant, wild gal during my twenties. But I have received amazing love from them.
I scratch my head every time I hear taurus men are complicated or confusing. For me they are very simple, straight forward ppl.
They are the super nice guys. And I was a very reckless person. But not a bad gal or something. Definitely not traditional. So I feel they are the easiest to get and keep around you. Difficult would be gemini men. But i cant stand gemini men.

are you talking about friends or romantic interests?

when you say "get" to you mean in a romantic/intimate relationship sense or get as in understand?

Posted by Nevermore

Posted by jeane

Posted by Nevermore

Posted by jeane

Posted by wicked
Lets see jeane. And where are the male taureans? Would like their insight.

i'm just telling you what i have been told by taurean men.

and hemispheres is also a bull (i think? have i made that up?)

Fuck that guy, he's sociopath that doesn't deserved to be called taurus bull.

hahah, ok. what about idk? he's one too isn't he?

A worst Taurus guy that you shouldn't taken advice from him.

click to expand

lol

Posted by wicked
Jeane: I know women who have had sex within the first three four dates, and no relationship tags attached. Still they ended up being a couple with the guy.
The guy has to know you are not promiscuous. I think it has to do with the feel they get out of u.
And abt my friends who had sex within the first few dates, they are great gals. And never had one night stands and all that.

great - like you said, lets wait to hear what the bulls say. at this point, we're both pretty much talking out of our arses.

Posted by wicked
Jeane: I know women who have had sex within the first three four dates, and no relationship tags attached. Still they ended up being a couple with the guy.
The guy has to know you are not promiscuous. I think it has to do with the feel they get out of u.
And abt my friends who had sex within the first few dates, they are great gals. And never had one night stands and all that.

i'm sorry but you keep changing the goalposts. first you said a long as it wasn't a one night stand then you don't have a problem, then you said second date, now you are saying third or fourth date which is what i was saying in the first place that bull will want you to wait, get to know you and for you to get to know them before jumping in the sack. you said that is the sexual chemistry is there, there in no to be restrained that a bull would see through the drama and not hold it against the woman.

many of the women here who complain about bulls that don't take them seriously are women who didn't allow the guy to get to know them on anything besides the p level first. agent p is going through this at the moment, even she has said, this guy doesn't even know her yet. this is my point. you can't let the chemistry be the only factor when deciding to jump into bed, most times it will lead to nothing more that a long term fuck buddy situation.

Posted by wicked
They were interested in me romantically. Not few months or something. But for few years.
Recently I lost my son. Few of my taurus guy friends asked me if I will be making any life changes (because I moved to stay with my brother for a few months). When I asked him to explain, he said he would like a future with me. Because he misunderstood and thought I would leave my husband. And I wasnt in touch with this guy for many years. Eww sounds so weird.
So yeah I feel they are easy to get. As romantic interests. Did I tell you Im an earth void? Lol

had you slept with these men?

if taurus men would be easy to get then this board wouldn't have as many threads as it does.

a selection of thread titles

"Taurus bestie/lover... I'm a confused cappy "
"Taurus man confusing me!!! "
"Confused by a Taurus man "
"If I continue to talk to him would change his feelings back to the way the he felt for me before "
"I heard the word.." - a scorps 15 month ordeal with a bull who keeps messing her about.

Posted by jeane

Posted by wicked
Jeane: I know women who have had sex within the first three four dates, and no relationship tags attached. Still they ended up being a couple with the guy.
The guy has to know you are not promiscuous. I think it has to do with the feel they get out of u.
And abt my friends who had sex within the first few dates, they are great gals. And never had one night stands and all that.

i'm sorry but you keep changing the goalposts. first you said a long as it wasn't a one night stand then you don't have a problem, then you said second date, now you are saying third or fourth date which is what i was saying in the first place that bull will want you to wait, get to know you and for you to get to know them before jumping in the sack. you said that is the sexual chemistry is there, there in no to be restrained that a bull would see through the drama and not hold it against the woman.

many of the women here who complain about bulls that don't take them seriously are women who didn't allow the guy to get to know them on anything besides the p level first. agent p is going through this at the moment, even she has said, this guy doesn't even know her yet. this is my point. you can't let the chemistry be the only factor when deciding to jump into bed, most times it will lead to nothing more that a long term fuck buddy situation.

click to expand

sorry for the typos

Posted by wicked
@jeane: not too soon has to be determined by the couple. Not by us. I made this point few times. What works for u and your guy may not work for another couple. We all are different.
See I read the ops first few pages. I felt the guy panicked. But she handled it beautifully.
Not all men run away from women who have sex 'too soon'. Just holding back on sex alone wont get a ring on the finger. A relationship is not solely based on sex alone. We all know that.
So many women will read this and think if they hold back on sex they will end up as a gf. Poor taurus men
Lol.
But one night stand where u hardly know anything abt the person will be difficult.
Busy with my baby now.

i'm talking about your point that a long it is not a one night stand you have nothing to worry about but if there is the sexual chemistry there than you can sleep with taurus men before you know them and they won't judge you for it. again, i don't think this statement is true with bulls.

i said earlier that holding out for holding out's sake is not the answer. you're creating strawman arguments here.

Posted by jeane: my experience, taurus men want to be told no. they want to to stand your ground and not jump in too quickly. that's what makes them respect you. if you leap too fat that they begin to think you do that with everyone. they want you to be choosy. they are choosy. they don't just sleep with just anyone, they want to feel like you don't sleep around either. this is why scorps are so good for taurus. scorps, like taurus, need to be heavily invested first. they need to time to assess and despite the attraction and chemistry they won't delve into a sexual relationship until the other person has earned it.
^^^^ this is so true for me jeane everything that u wrote. I like to be told no on the sex right away it shows me that the girls values her worth because in a sea full of diamonds I'm looking for that gem.plus I like to build the anticipation up it makes me feel like a kid on christmas day lol so excited to receive my gift after much much patience.

Posted by jeane: I've found that some will sleep with you if it is offer but they won't think long term while others will become celibate until they find a person who meets their requirements.
^^^ this is very true as well you really understand us real bulls glad someone does for once lol.

Posted by wicked
Im not gonna keep this going on and on.
With any man, even if you have sex after few dates/too soon, but the initial spark/connection is there- all is not lost. How you behave after you have had sez matters a lot. Most women mess it up. They go psycho on a guy. I jave seen it happen too many times. Men hardly leave a woman because she had sex 'too soon' if there is a connection. It is how they behave after/while getting to know a guy that makes the guy run. Provided the sex wasnt bad. Of course nobody wants bad sex. They become clingy, obsessive, insecure, etc,.. If you believe sex is not all you have to offer, be yourself. It works. Its very unfair to say men leave women because women give it up too soon. U need a base to start something. If there is potential n u have already had sex doesnt mean all is lost.
@jeane : did I ever say there neednt be a connection (emotional/intelluctual/ physical etc,..)for a relationship? Just having sex with a man will bring about a relationship?

sigh. no you didn't say there needn't be a connection. again, a strawman argument. you said as long as it's not a one night stand, a bull won't judge you for sleeping with him in fact this is what you said

"As long as it didnt start as a one night stand you dont have to worry too much abt it. Tauris men even the inexperienced ones understand sexual chemistry." you then went on to say that a taurus man is easy to get.

i've not spoken when is too soon, one date, two dates, a whole bushell of dates. i'm saying, as busy stated, that bulls are discerning. they will sit back, they will wait, they will assess. if you sleep with them early in this assessment period, they will assess you to be good to screw but not necessarily a long term prospect. to categorise them as easy to win and unaffected by having a sexual relationship before they have yet to form an emotional connection (and a we know it can take bulls some time to do this), i think is poor advice.

that's it.

There is a lot to say on this subject, but for now I have to also agree with jeane strongly. Bulls and Virgos are a super easy connection, yes, so I can totally relate to what wicked is saying regarding the bull/Virgo experience. I have never met a Virgo that I didnt bond with instantly. The problem is that I don't really value easy all that much when it comes to romance and sex. Its not even a conscious judgment I am making. Its not that if its easy to hook up, I judge the woman as a slut, immoral, unworthy, etc. If we go there, its on both of us. But it is that I value things more if I have to work for it, and I cant help but see the person as valuing themself more if they make me. In my experience, and I mean no offense by this, women cave so quickly when it comes to wanting to have sex. When I do meet someone who can resist, I am extremely impressed by and respectful of them due to their strength, and then I am much more turned on as well. Its also that way when a woman is just harder to impress, and win the affection/attention of in general. If its too easy, I get bored much faster, feel there is no challenge, and ultimately I just dont value it as much. Sex is sacred to me, and as much as I hate to say this bc it sounds arrogant I have to confess that I 100% feel that a person has to be someone I feel is worthy of it like jeane said. I also really love everything around foreplay, the buildup, drawing all that out as long as possible, before having sex with someone.

sorry for lack of punctuation, texting from phone

I will say I am also impressed with wicked's insights though on a lot of things, and I can imagine messing up and diving into sex too early if the chemistry is that strong. For me that would have to involve some strong Scorp placements...lol. I would probably want to back off and slow down on that though if I saw the person as someone I really wanted to be with long term though.

@tauruslovesscorpio I have found that to be absolutely true in my experience as well. Even after making a Taurus wait for sex for the first time...anytime after that I still had to be very selective of how available I was to him. The more I pressed to see him the less he would value me. He was there, but the desire and interest was lacking. I've learned my lesson

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
There is a lot to say on this subject, but for now I have to also agree with jeane strongly. Bulls and Virgos are a super easy connection, yes, so I can totally relate to what wicked is saying regarding the bull/Virgo experience. I have never met a Virgo that I didnt bond with instantly. The problem is that I don't really value easy all that much when it comes to romance and sex. Its not even a conscious judgment I am making. Its not that if its easy to hook up, I judge the woman as a slut, immoral, unworthy, etc. If we go there, its on both of us. But it is that I value things more if I have to work for it, and I cant help but see the person as valuing themself more if they make me. In my experience, and I mean no offense by this, women cave so quickly when it comes to wanting to have sex. When I do meet someone who can resist, I am extremely impressed by and respectful of them due to their strength, and then I am much more turned on as well. Its also that way when a woman is just harder to impress, and win the affection/attention of in general. If its too easy, I get bored much faster, feel there is no challenge, and ultimately I just dont value it as much. Sex is sacred to me, and as much as I hate to say this bc it sounds arrogant I have to confess that I 100% feel that a person has to be someone I feel is worthy of it like jeane said. I also really love everything around foreplay, the buildup, drawing all that out as long as possible, before having sex with someone.

Thanks for this insight!
Me and this Taurus WERE in fact "friends" for a while, though certainly not close friends.. does that "count"? I did turn down one of his advances as well.
When we did start to hang out, it was only a matter a couple of weeks before we started a sexual relationship though..
We both have Scorpio placements in our charts, he's a Scorpio Rising (which he said sounded a lot like him when I read it to him!) and I have Scorpio Moon/Venus/Pluto..
I've been trying to slow it down, but Taurus is being really intense with me at the moment! Maybe that's his Scorpio Rising?

Posted by jpx

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
There is a lot to say on this subject, but for now I have to also agree with jeane strongly. Bulls and Virgos are a super easy connection, yes, so I can totally relate to what wicked is saying regarding the bull/Virgo experience. I have never met a Virgo that I didnt bond with instantly. The problem is that I don't really value easy all that much when it comes to romance and sex. Its not even a conscious judgment I am making. Its not that if its easy to hook up, I judge the woman as a slut, immoral, unworthy, etc. If we go there, its on both of us. But it is that I value things more if I have to work for it, and I cant help but see the person as valuing themself more if they make me. In my experience, and I mean no offense by this, women cave so quickly when it comes to wanting to have sex. When I do meet someone who can resist, I am extremely impressed by and respectful of them due to their strength, and then I am much more turned on as well. Its also that way when a woman is just harder to impress, and win the affection/attention of in general. If its too easy, I get bored much faster, feel there is no challenge, and ultimately I just dont value it as much. Sex is sacred to me, and as much as I hate to say this bc it sounds arrogant I have to confess that I 100% feel that a person has to be someone I feel is worthy of it like jeane said. I also really love everything around foreplay, the buildup, drawing all that out as long as possible, before having sex with someone.

Thanks for this insight!
Me and this Taurus WERE in fact "friends" for a while, though certainly not close friends.. does that "count"? I did turn down one of his advances as well.
When we did start to hang out, it was only a matter a couple of weeks before we started a sexual relationship though..
We both have Scorpio placements in our charts, he's a Scorpio Rising (which he said sounded a lot like him when I read it to him!) and I have Scorpio Moon/Venus/Pluto..
I've been trying to slow it down, but Taurus is being really intense with me at the moment! Maybe that's his Scorpio Rising?

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His cancer placements are showing as well..... the scorpio likes the chase and the cancer likes to be with you close...... the taurus is cautious..... so, he may say no relationship, but he shows otherwise 🙂 🙂 good luck and show him consistent affection..... otherwise the cancer bits start manipulating

Posted by wicked
@jeane: lets say I agree with you.
How would u explain how my second bf got attached to me... and then there are some of my gfs who are going steady with few bulls. They didnt wait for months to have sex.
At the same time, my second bf was my second guy. I was in my early twenties. Even my friends havent had many sexual partners (from how much I know). Do u think our cases are different? Because all of us didnt struggle to get the gal friend status.
Infact, I was so in love with a taurus guy. After knowing him for sometime... the connection was way too intense and I started to over analyse my moves. I held back on getting physical with him. And many years later he told me he thought I wasnt ready and didnt find him physically attractive. Which was so not true. And we both believe had we been physically intimate, we would have been together even now. But he thought I broke his heart and this guy didnt have sex with anyone from 2005 till 2012 dec!! So I dont know. Jeane is right. But it has worked for me. And holding back didnt work for me 😢(
Just because we choose to have sex too soon with a guy doesnt mean we are sleeping around or its a normal thing you know.
And someone here said scorpio are the best for taurus men. I have a neighbour, a scorpio married to a taurus man. Its like cold war. And sadly she two times him. She calls it "revenge sex". I never knew. It was a shocker for me to hear her speak about him with so much anger (?) Thats not the word. Pure poison.

i won't even try to begin to explain your situation. like i said, i was just relating information based on my own experience, what i have read, been told and witnessed.

like i said before, it is not holding back for holding back's sake. i think sex is important in a relationship. i think having sex is important in a relationship. i'm certainly no prude but for me personally, it is when the person has overcome all the tests i put in place first and when i am satisfied with their efforts, that's they'll be satisfied with mine. i'm not saying that is the right way to be or that everyone should be like that but what i am saying, from my experience, this method of testing before committing emotions is what i have seen in taureans as well.

if another method works for you then i wish you all the very best. my objection wasn't personal, it was to just those two claims that i felt didn't resonate with my experience.

Posted by wicked
Henceforth I'm not going to tell women how to get a taurus guy lol.
Only thing is whatever advice I gave my friends worked for them 😢

i think to do that would rob the rest of the board of your insight. like tls has said, you've contributed a lot and seem to have a handle on the placement. i would encourage you to continue adding your voice to the rest of the rabble.

Posted by KittyKnitter
well i didn't read all the mails before posting. don't know anyone else dating taurus sun taurus mars cancer moon cancer venus male but i am. my guy is a bundle of contradictions. he likes to think he is so tough but he is easily swayed by thought as much as emotions. he wants his freedom but security too. we treat each other as equals usually but he tends to be bossy and hypersensitive to criticism. easily hurt. he goes on offensive when feeling defensive. yes he seems tough on the outside but inside beats the heart of a sensitive male. stubborn and moody yes who shoots from the hip as he says, which is to say he shoots his mouth off before he thinks but he is just telling it like it is. opinionated. not much, lol.i am more reserved. it takes a lot of patience to balance our energies. i choose my battles. not to say i am controlled by him but challenged yes.

my guy is easy to love because he has quirky sense of humor. sarcastic but soft hearted. and he is very smart although sometimes he is hard on the head. i wouldn't change him. although we did have tough times while he went sideways or backwards, and this was after he committed, he made full commitment after a short breakup. we leave a lot of room for personal freedom. we still have our struggles in daily life but we are friends no matter what. that always helps us to resolve our conflicts. for taurus cancer i would think the best match is someone who will be supportive partner but keep him accountable. someone who is consistent, independent and flexible in how she thinks. someone who wants to be respected and give respect. someone who likes a man that takes a while to get to know well and can always surprise you even and doesn't mind things going off track now and then. i would also think the better you know yourself and know what you want and what you can take and give, the easier it is to set your boundaries. that's very important for a successful relationship with taurus cancer male. he is big on integrity. if you have that, he is drawn to it.

Thanks, very interesting. Same placements except mine has Mars in Cancer as well.
A lof of this is true to my situation as well.
How did your relationship start out? Was he unsure and needed a lot of security? How much time did you spend together at first?

My Taurus is still being intense and doing even more relationship-related stuff now than before. Maybe he's testing the waters to see what a relationship WOULD be like for him?

Just a little update; Taurus asked me this a few days ago (after spending a lot of time together for the past weeks)
"Are we dating officially now?

I said; "yes, I think we are."

"Ok, good, I mean, so I know what to tell people... until we decide something else."

I love the fact that he brought this up himself, and I love how direct and business-like he is with these things. Might not sound romantic to a lot of other people but it makes ME feel secure with our relationship.
It's going REALLY well and we REALLY enjoy each other's company so far 🙂

Posted by wicked
Im very happy for you :-)

Thank you, me too.
I hope it'll continue to grow in this way, the past three weeks have been amazing 🙂

Posted by busyeyes88

Posted by jpx
Just a little update; Taurus asked me this a few days ago (after spending a lot of time together for the past weeks)
"Are we dating officially now?

I said; "yes, I think we are."

"Ok, good, I mean, so I know what to tell people... until we decide something else."

I love the fact that he brought this up himself, and I love how direct and business-like he is with these things. Might not sound romantic to a lot of other people but it makes ME feel secure with our relationship.
It's going REALLY well and we REALLY enjoy each other's company so far 🙂

He is "leading "... So continue to let him do his "thing" and keep your scorpio moon under control and it looks like it'll work out!

click to expand

Thanks, yeah that Scorpio Moon needs to be under control with a lot of things in life, trust me.. seems to get easier with age though!

I've just read all this thread. Here's my overview some of which is based on my own experience:

I can see where Wicked and Jeane are coming from along with everyone else regarding sleeping with someone 'too early' and with or without the GF contract.

I think much of it comes down to where you are in life and what you want, and therefore how you go about it. There's no right or wrong answer here.

Two of my main relationships started off with sex immediately. The connection was there and so was the situation. It just clicked, worked, no regrets with sleeping with the guys super quickly etc. No emotional worries or anxieties etc.

However, on probability, statistically, and over the years, I think sleeping with a guy 'too soon' is more likely to have an unhappy ending.

Unless, of course, I've made the decision in my head that I'm only looking for a one night stand or a one off then the guy is chosen specifically for that purpose and then discarded. Even if it's a go with the flow date or situation, sleeping together too soon more often than not means I'll lose interest in the guy similar to how a guy might lose interest in a girl.

For me, sleeping with a guy and then 'hoping' it might go somewhere is not healthy for me (Scorp Sun/Venus, Pisces Moon) but that's just me. My rose tinted glasses go on and then I become a total fucktard about it all. The best way I know to avoid this is to not sleep with them in the first place. My rose tinted may still be present but I've not lost or given away anything. Similar to Busy describes with her 8th house, better to walk away and forsake the sex - welcome to the Scorp den Busy!

Previously, I'd be like OP and 'take the chance' and hope something might develop further but more recently, the last month or so, I'm beginning to align with a less risky approach.

For my own well being, I'm enjoying knowing what I want and how I'd like that to happen AND sticking to it regardless. In short, meeting a fella, spending some time dating with them, having them ask me out, not basing it all on sex, just enjoying each other's company, and seeing what happens. Ultimately, I'd like a relationship but not an instant one. I'm enjoying holding my ground and sticking to what I say. What isn't happening is me saying 'I won't sleep with you' and then that same night I'm in bed with them! It's been nice rejecting guys who don't match and also putting my terms out there and saying if they want to ask me out and get to know me then great, if they want an easy lay then move along.

In conversation with male friends, the male view point doesn't see an issue with sleeping with a girl quickly. They feel if there's a connection then there's a connection. If there isn't then there never would have been one. I agree with the other person who said its how women handle things after sex that can make s big difference. This comes back round to being clear in your head with what you are looking for and how you go about it

Regarding the OP, what's done is done and as long as you're happy with how it is then great. I agree with the others with going back to taking sex out and also what Jeane said about his fear and vulnerability. It got me thinking about a few things with this Taurus Sun/Aries Venus and Mars, Sag Moon dude.

Posted by AgentP911
Regarding the OP, what's done is done and as long as you're happy with how it is then great. I agree with the others with going back to taking sex out and also what Jeane said about his fear and vulnerability. It got me thinking about a few things with this Taurus Sun/Aries Venus and Mars, Sag Moon dude.

Thanks, I agree with a lot of this as well, and I've been real careful these past years, but with this person, there was and is a strong connection and we DID wait a while, mostly because we weren't really hanging out for the first couple of months and because I wasn't sure how I felt. But once I knew, it was hard to stop it.
I also agree that it's the aftermath and how you handle the relationship afterwards that counts, I've also put on those "rose tinted glasses" a couple of times, and I've had guys be too aggressive and come on too strong towards me as well when I've wanted to relax or just have it as something casual.
Also had a so called fuck buddy once (Leo Sun/Aries Moon) that developed feelings and couldn't handle the relationship at all after a few months.

In this case, I'm really surprised how he semed to "change" his mind and what a great relationship it has become.
Not saying it will last but for now, we both get a lot out of this relationship and it's working out great, and that "argument" we had brought us closer together.
I was REALLY surprised he already brought the relationship talk up again and wanted to tell people we're seeing each other, he even asked me if I was ok with him telling people this, haha.
To me, this is a great sign.

I think sometimes people forget that many relationships aren't meant to last forever. You can have one relationship with one person lasting 50 years or five relationships with five people last ten years each. Who is to say which scenario is 'better' or 'right'?

I think realistically with your dude, he was a virgin until you got together, so he might want to have an experimental phase at some point in his life.

What you have may not last a year or it may last a lifetime. Stating the obvious here really but if you're prepared to go with it then great. You're both younger, you both have time!!

Posted by AgentP911
I think sometimes people forget that many relationships aren't meant to last forever. You can have one relationship with one person lasting 50 years or five relationships with five people last ten years each. Who is to say which scenario is 'better' or 'right'?

I think realistically with your dude, he was a virgin until you got together, so he might want to have an experimental phase at some point in his life.

What you have may not last a year or it may last a lifetime. Stating the obvious here really but if you're prepared to go with it then great. You're both younger, you both have time!!

Yeah, exactly, it's the same with any relationship really, no matter how it starts out.. it can go any way, anything can happen.

I'm prepared that he might want to experiment. A lot of people need to do that, I sure did (got into a way too serious relationship way too early in life and suffered the consequences for it) but I also know some people that have been only one or two partners and don't feel the need to try it with other people. Each to their own, right now this guy says he isn't into the idea of sleeping around and that there's a good reason why he hasn't, even though there'd been opportunities before.
Obviously he might feel the need for it later, but we'll cross that bridge if we get to it.

Posted by jeane

Posted by wicked
Jeane: I know women who have had sex within the first three four dates, and no relationship tags attached. Still they ended up being a couple with the guy.
The guy has to know you are not promiscuous. I think it has to do with the feel they get out of u.
And abt my friends who had sex within the first few dates, they are great gals. And never had one night stands and all that.

i'm sorry but you keep changing the goalposts. first you said a long as it wasn't a one night stand then you don't have a problem, then you said second date, now you are saying third or fourth date which is what i was saying in the first place that bull will want you to wait, get to know you and for you to get to know them before jumping in the sack. you said that is the sexual chemistry is there, there in no to be restrained that a bull would see through the drama and not hold it against the woman.

many of the women here who complain about bulls that don't take them seriously are women who didn't allow the guy to get to know them on anything besides the p level first. agent p is going through this at the moment, even she has said, this guy doesn't even know her yet. this is my point. you can't let the chemistry be the only factor when deciding to jump into bed, most times it will lead to nothing more that a long term fuck buddy situation.

click to expand

I get a mention!!! Im famous!!! Š

Yeah, regarding this dude and relating it to what you guys have said...

It's VERY early days. Only known him 5 minutes. Legs will remain firmly closed.

A few things though, you guys have said Taurus dudes test? This one kinda keeps asking me stuff I feel I've already answered. I think 'I've already answered/told you that' it's as if he thinks my answer might change or he's got a memory like a fish. I feel like I'm constantly repeating certain things. It's not a problem but I got a 'feeling' it may be some weird testing criteria but I'm not too fussed about it. My answer stays the same!

His actions/words don't quite match. He seems to get a bit offended (as OP's fella did) when I say about taking my time about sex. I asked if he has dates without sex and what he likes to do away from the bedroom. He kinda thinks that I think he is just interested in me for sex. He thought that made me have a negative view of him but I set out some good stuff about him which surprised him. He admitted he tends to prefer the company of his mates than girls. I wondered if he was inexperienced/fear of dating or he just likes to use girls for sex!

In person, he's been persistent in trying but I've refused. He's kinda ok with that but will try. I think he thinks it's his duty to try! Yet his words say he's not just interested in sex

Yet his words say he's not just interested in sex. He is unsure of a relationship in general but not dead against it in general.

He's concerned about me expecting too much then getting my heart broken as he thinks I'm looking for an immediate relationship. I said that's not the case as it doesn't work like that but that I like him and would like to see where it goes, if anywhere. I wondered if he was talking shite or if it was his vulnerability.

Regardless, if dude wants to invite me out when I'm back home for a non sexual date then that's ok, he said he would. My legs will stay closed and that's all I have to say about that.

*i think perhaps that since they are assessing you,

although reading something taurusmarine has jut written, i'm probably wrong with that last point!

Ha! My word is being kept and legs closed. This is actually not a problem for me. Mainly because I really don't have the time or energy to deal with 'premature emotional attachment' (I need to make that a psycho analysis or something) which isn't warranted. I've got other shit to focus on and I won't be bringing it to my plate.

I'm just bringing this stuff up on here now as I've been reading the forum and certain things and points have been making me think so it's good to get more of an understanding of this from you guys and anyone else who cares to share. Trust me, I'm committing all this info to my brain! Useful stuff!

@Busy, yes I'm watching his actions and all feels ok so far (just calming down on the getting in my pants would be good!). His words conflict in my opinion but that is usually via text not so much in person. Little examples such as turning up, on time, getting the first drink in, and the second, and would have been happy to continue but I wanted to ensure I maintained the balance, he didn't bitch about money or taxis and his eyes didn't stray etc. Most blokes can't manage the basics! However, this one little thing reminded me of something I'd read on here. I don't think he realised I noticed. Last Friday we met in a pub neither of us had been too, just for two hours as I had little time. I'd parked elsewhere (across the road which is where I needed to go after) but the pub had a parking meter and he didn't have enough change for two hours, only for one hour. It was only £1 and I said I had change. He wouldn't accept it. It wasn't a big thing and I left it. After he got change he stuck the extra hour on later. Now this is something insignificant but it was like he didn't want to take £1 from me as he would sort it himself. Clearly... I've lived a sheltered life... Or need to date better blokes... ‰ I observe EVERYTHING!!

@Jeane, yes I feel it's testing my morals. A lot regarding sexual stuff but also general. It's not like an interview and it's not overly obvious but when the same kind of questions come up or similar topics etc (I have an excellent memory) then in my brain it triggers something to make me take note. Behaviour pattern or something. Makes me think. He's not sly or manipulative. It's quite straightforward. Just repetitive as if he's asking for the first time or expecting me to change or vary my answer. It's not the same as a Scorp interrogation, mine is based more behind the scenes with a healthy dose of paranoia, I look more at what someone doesn't say I guess. As for rejection/insecurity, I think this might actually be a possibility. So far he hides it well but I feel some things don't quite add up but not necessarily in a bad way. Hence my questions and the testing bit.

He text saying Merry Christmas today which was nice Š I'm far too fucking easily pleased.

Is it wrong to find it kinda cute when via text he's twice used the ¡ icon and taken a ten minute break... Heh heh heh...

Posted by jeane
although reading something taurusmarine has jut written, i'm probably wrong with that last point!

­­­ damn you TaurusMarine for raining on my Christmas parade!!

I dunno, this dude seems to like the intensity and I reckon he's more intense than me! He said he's still gonna preserve to get in me pants. In a weird way, I kinda like that but (I told him this bit) only if he takes me out out and puts some fucking effort in! He said he will. Roll on Jan!

persevere*

So, like I said before, everything's going SO well, he's come through for me in amazing ways now that I've had a really tough time with other things. He has listened to me, talked to me, made time for me, comforted me, recorded a song for me.
He will consistently contact me every day, he makes plans for all weekends, includes me in all his future plans, introduced me to all his close friends.
These past two weeks have in particular been amazing, physically as well, we can't keep our hands off each other and will cuddle and do eskimo kisses for hours.

But yesterday we had a bit of an argument and he totally closed down on me.
He told me he really likes how it is now, but it won't go any further, mainly because it might be in the way of his career goals (long story short, he has an usual career path and might be going abroad next year to pursue it) and he tells me he likes me a lot but that it will "not likely" go any further than this.
He was really mean about it, then when I sort of asked him if we need to finish this, he said he didn't want that, that he wanted to keep it going like it is now.

First he said it was because he hadn't developed any deeper feelings. I called him out on this bullshit and I said "I hear what you are saying, but you are certainly not acting like it."
Also I told him that people and feelings DO change and I've seen it happen so many times.
He just closed down and said he didn't want to talk about it anymore.

Later on, he said this was "all about" his career goals and that he didn't want to see me hurt when and if he does leave to pursue it.
What the heck is going on?

I know a lot of people will sort of say "I told you so", but HE was the one who wanted to date ME officially, he wants other people to know, he's the one intensively contacting me and wants to spend most of his time with me.
To me, that's not consistent with what he's saying.

I told him I don't expect us to get married and I haven't been thinking that way, just taking one step at a time, and I really like him a lot and I want to keep seeing him. He said he felt the same, and we decided to keep it going anyway because it is simply going so well between us.

But maybe we just see relationships differently - I see no problem in going further if it is indeed going well, like that will happen naturally anyway, but he doesn't seem to see it that way. Why is he saying he has no deeper feelings when it's obvious he does? That's what hurt me.

Please help.

Our mutual Sag friend (who is, like me, pretty good at picking up emotional cues and ambiences.. he has Venus in Scorpio as well) said this guy has been severly depressed last year but that he has seemed SO much happier since meeting me and that he hoped for a future between us 😢

Posted by busyeyes88
OP, he has told you now in a different way... This time, he has "career goals"... When taurus wants to do something no one or anything is going to stop them.. So if your relationship does not end now it will by the time he decides to go abroad. He's basically telling you to keep it casual and light and to not get carried away and forsee a future with him...

Take him at his word..

You came here to this board for taurus advice and we we gave you and the end result was as predicted... We are tauruses Afterall. We don't talk bs!!

Haha, nah, I know that and you were right, this guy is stubborn as hell, though I will say this; his actions does not match his words when he says he has no deeper feelings because he sure is intense with me, and oddly enough, he started texting me crazily today and wanted to meet up. I said no, and he got worried, started calling me and almost demanded we make other plans.
I haven't really responded to that either, I'm going to back off a bit now, for my own sake.

The funny thing is that just a couple of days ago he said; "it might be a bit too soon to call you girlfriend, I'm not quite there yet 🙂"
To me, that has a whole other meaning than what he bursted out saying yesterday.
He seemed a bit regretful today and said; "can we put this aside? I'm going to need to cuddle with you and watch a movie with you soon."
To me, he seems a bit torn, because he can act real clingy and needy from time to time as well. I have sort of just gone along with everything he wants to do, which is to talk to me every day, and be with me several times a week.

Posted by jpx

Posted by busyeyes88
OP, he has told you now in a different way... This time, he has "career goals"... When taurus wants to do something no one or anything is going to stop them.. So if your relationship does not end now it will by the time he decides to go abroad. He's basically telling you to keep it casual and light and to not get carried away and forsee a future with him...

Take him at his word..

You came here to this board for taurus advice and we we gave you and the end result was as predicted... We are tauruses Afterall. We don't talk bs!!

Haha, nah, I know that and you were right, this guy is stubborn as hell, though I will say this; his actions does not match his words when he says he has no deeper feelings because he sure is intense with me, and oddly enough, he started texting me crazily today and wanted to meet up. I said no, and he got worried, started calling me and almost demanded we make other plans.
I haven't really responded to that either, I'm going to back off a bit now, for my own sake.

The funny thing is that just a couple of days ago he said; "it might be a bit too soon to call you girlfriend, I'm not quite there yet 🙂"
To me, that has a whole other meaning than what he bursted out saying yesterday.
He seemed a bit regretful today and said; "can we put this aside? I'm going to need to cuddle with you and watch a movie with you soon."
To me, he seems a bit torn, because he can act real clingy and needy from time to time as well. I have sort of just gone along with everything he wants to do, which is to talk to me every day, and be with me several times a week.

click to expand

i'll go back to my original thought - he sounds like a kid.

Posted by busyeyes88

Posted by jpx

Posted by busyeyes88
OP, he has told you now in a different way... This time, he has "career goals"... When taurus wants to do something no one or anything is going to stop them.. So if your relationship does not end now it will by the time he decides to go abroad. He's basically telling you to keep it casual and light and to not get carried away and forsee a future with him...

Take him at his word..

You came here to this board for taurus advice and we we gave you and the end result was as predicted... We are tauruses Afterall. We don't talk bs!!

Haha, nah, I know that and you were right, this guy is stubborn as hell, though I will say this; his actions does not match his words when he says he has no deeper feelings because he sure is intense with me, and oddly enough, he started texting me crazily today and wanted to meet up. I said no, and he got worried, started calling me and almost demanded we make other plans.
I haven't really responded to that either, I'm going to back off a bit now, for my own sake.

The funny thing is that just a couple of days ago he said; "it might be a bit too soon to call you girlfriend, I'm not quite there yet 🙂"
To me, that has a whole other meaning than what he bursted out saying yesterday.
He seemed a bit regretful today and said; "can we put this aside? I'm going to need to cuddle with you and watch a movie with you soon."
To me, he seems a bit torn, because he can act real clingy and needy from time to time as well. I have sort of just gone along with everything he wants to do, which is to talk to me every day, and be with me several times a week.

Now, with you withdrawing, you are playing games... He told you the score from day one and you were here telling us that you were happy with the situation and could cope and now you are pulling away...

Either accept as it as it is or be done. He is not going to change his mind... He does not see a future with you so the outcome whether now or in the future is inevitable.. it will be the same!!

click to expand

I don't want to be playing games, busy.. Really, I don't, but I was honest about it and I said I was upset about yesterday and wanted to digest it a bit.
We'll see each other again, for sure, but I need to think it through.

Posted by jeane

Posted by jpx

Posted by busyeyes88
OP, he has told you now in a different way... This time, he has "career goals"... When taurus wants to do something no one or anything is going to stop them.. So if your relationship does not end now it will by the time he decides to go abroad. He's basically telling you to keep it casual and light and to not get carried away and forsee a future with him...

Take him at his word..

You came here to this board for taurus advice and we we gave you and the end result was as predicted... We are tauruses Afterall. We don't talk bs!!

Haha, nah, I know that and you were right, this guy is stubborn as hell, though I will say this; his actions does not match his words when he says he has no deeper feelings because he sure is intense with me, and oddly enough, he started texting me crazily today and wanted to meet up. I said no, and he got worried, started calling me and almost demanded we make other plans.
I haven't really responded to that either, I'm going to back off a bit now, for my own sake.

The funny thing is that just a couple of days ago he said; "it might be a bit too soon to call you girlfriend, I'm not quite there yet 🙂"
To me, that has a whole other meaning than what he bursted out saying yesterday.
He seemed a bit regretful today and said; "can we put this aside? I'm going to need to cuddle with you and watch a movie with you soon."
To me, he seems a bit torn, because he can act real clingy and needy from time to time as well. I have sort of just gone along with everything he wants to do, which is to talk to me every day, and be with me several times a week.

i'll go back to my original thought - he sounds like a kid.

click to expand

Yeah, I know. Not sure how to deal with it, if there's any point at all to go on dating. I feel in my heart like there is a chance, but I don't want to be deluded either.

Posted by jpx
Yeah, I know. Not sure how to deal with it, if there's any point at all to go on dating. I feel in my heart like there is a chance, but I don't want to be deluded either.

i think it depends on what you hope to get out of this situation you find yourself in and then ask if he is in a position to give you want you want.

you have to be honest about what you want and also honest with yourself about him, his inexperience (sexually, in a relationship, general life experience) and where he is in his life.

i know you said you're happy to go with the flow but that doesn't ring true with what you type. you have expectations (nothing wrong with that), is this guy capable of fulfilling them and do you want the person to drag him kicking and screaming while he does it?