No B.S. Zone (Page 2)

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TLS
@TaurusLovesScorpio
12 Years1,000+ Posts

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Posted by TaurGuy


Having a equal in every way is leaps and bounds more fulfilling and a 'much' deeper, tighter bond..



Man, I feel it now. That's why I think I had my little lapse with the heavy scorp attraction - much stronger women. Caps seem that way too. I know I will stick this relationship out...just is my nature, but maybe she can get stronger or something...lol.
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Theatrum
@Theatrum
12 Years1,000+ Posts

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Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
Posted by Theatrum
While we're being all honest and stuff, idk why but I find the "father-daughter dynamic" so steamy.

😛



LOL, I understand. I was into being mothered in my younger years, hence my history with older Cancer women.
click to expand




If I recall correctly, you have a Capricorn Asc.? Cancer and Capricorn ascendants, because we have Saturn (father/authority)/Moon (mother/nurturer) on the descendant, those are the energies that we (subconsciously or consciously) attract, therefore seem to always go for people way older or way younger. I've never been truly attracted *both physically and whatever the other thing is* to anyone within my age range. They always have to be bazillion years older. That's the old man Saturn trolling me.

It's no wonder you've been with so many Cancers if Moon rules your 7th house. You'd want your partner to depend on you emotionally. Cancers do the job.
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TaurGuy
@TaurGuy
15 Years500+ PostsTaurus

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Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio

Man, I feel it now. That's why I think I had my little lapse with the heavy scorp attraction - much stronger women. Caps seem that way too. I know I will stick this relationship out...just is my nature, but maybe she can get stronger or something...lol.



I dare you to hold your breath... lol

And tell me you haven't already made up your mind about who she is and how that dynamic between you two works. So, tell me, even if she was to change *cough* wouldn't you still kinda always view her as she is already in your head— 😉
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TLS
@TaurusLovesScorpio
12 Years1,000+ Posts

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Posted by TaurGuy


And tell me you haven't already made up your mind about who she is and how that dynamic between you two works. So, tell me, even if she was to change *cough* wouldn't you still kinda always view her as she is already in your head— 😉



LOL...get out of my head...hahahah...This was actually my first thought and that's why I laughed at my own statement. I tell myself that even though she doesn't have the kind of inner strength I feel I want, she has other strengths. She can cook (big one), is super helpful in all areas, really excels in the corporate world - driven, great work ethic, etc. But yeah, as far as like helping me deal with anything personal, existential, etc....I'm on my own. I call my mom once in a while...lol.
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TaurGuy
@TaurGuy
15 Years500+ PostsTaurus

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Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio


I tell myself that even though she doesn't have the kind of inner strength I feel I want, she has other strengths. She can cook (big one), is super helpful in all areas, really excels in the corporate world - driven, great work ethic, etc. But yeah, as far as like helping me deal with anything personal, existential, etc....I'm on my own. I call my mom once in a while...lol.



See and this is what I always thought.. That to find a life long partner I felt like I would have to compromise on a few of the things that I felt I need to be happy. I could 'learn' to live without them and still be happy. Always felt. I'm too damn picky for my own good. That list of things I need is too long, or too precise.. Too idealistic.. I ended up staying with the pisces while unhappy for this reason. She was an absolutely amazing woman. BUT.... I felt I was much stronger than her. She depended on me for that strength. She also couldn't bring herself to understand my need to be so physical. I bond that way. She, through talking.. She thought I was a over sexual fiend. She didn't understand that it wasn't just sex. I need that intimate physical contact to bond, to communicate. Bless her heart she wasn't my equal..
So here I had an incredible woman, kind, driven, thoughtful, etc.. I could go on. Just missing a few things I needed. I thought I could compromise, I thought I could learn to be happy because of everything else. It took too long to learn that lesson.
Since then I've spent 5 years single not really getting passed 4-5 dates because I'll write em off as soon as I see they're missing something that I need. I don't want to get attached to another 90% 'er. Even still, I've had it in my head that I need to compromise. e.g. I'll never meet a social devant rocker chick that also loves fishing and the outdoors like I do. So I need to swing closer to one side of that fence or the other. Then I met this cap girl. Shit man, she is everything I thought I would never find. She's even bringing parts of me back to life that I had quietly tuck away a long time ago thinking I could compromise on them.

They're out there buddy. Don't learn the way I did falling for a 90% 'er to find out you can't be happy selling yourself short..
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Absence
@Absence
11 YearsTaurus

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TaurGuy....I feel like you are describing my experiences. I just got out of a relationship with a Sag. Amazing man. Wonderful qualities. Good physical connection. Way weaker than me. You see, because I have a very strong nurturing side, I will make it work for sometime (well...pushed it to 6 months). But I cannot see myself longterm with someone weaker than I am. I just start loosing respect. I can't do the 90% 'er. When a woman is in the process of selecting a man, consciously or unconsciously, she is selecting in terms of " is the seed of this man worthy enough for me to generate a life?". Now, If I consider you weaker than me, I have also taken into account the fact that because of that trait of personality, you are prone of making more mistakes in crucial moments when your strength is required. Hence, I just can't trust you fully, because even if you are a great person with a great heart, your weak personality will take over. Sooner or later. Now....to the poor man's defense, I'm a taurus with a rising scorpio. My energy can be very intense. -sweet smile-
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TaurGuy
@TaurGuy
15 Years500+ PostsTaurus

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Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
I just don't have the heart to leave a person because they are weaker, even if it is a factor in my chemistry with them - especially when I do feel I am in love with the person.



No sweat Bub.. Didn't figure what I wrote would be a eureka moment for ya. Just a thought from someone who has been there.. I understand you've weighed, measured, and chose your path.. Now you've got to see it to your own end.. I'll keep em fingers crossed for ya..
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TLS
@TaurusLovesScorpio
12 Years1,000+ Posts

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Posted by TaurGuy
Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
I just don't have the heart to leave a person because they are weaker, even if it is a factor in my chemistry with them - especially when I do feel I am in love with the person.



No sweat Bub.. Didn't figure what I wrote would be a eureka moment for ya. Just a thought from someone who has been there.. I understand you've weighed, measured, and chose your path.. Now you've got to see it to your own end.. I'll keep em fingers crossed for ya..
click to expand




LOL, you know as a bull I have to learn everything the hard way. Someone once told me I confuse love with pity. I agreed instantly. Unfortunately they didn't tell me how to change that. And in my mind, the two do seem to be intertwined. We'll see how it goes....I've been through alot relationship-wise. Each one seems to be an improvement on the last, and though I thought I would be with my first love forever, I can actually look back and say I'm glad for all of the experiences with the different people. That may be my Venus in Gemini liking the variety aspect.
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TaurGuy
@TaurGuy
15 Years500+ PostsTaurus

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Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio

LOL, you know as a bull I have to learn everything the hard way. Someone once told me I confuse love with pity. I agreed instantly. Unfortunately they didn't tell me how to change that. And in my mind, the two do seem to be intertwined. We'll see how it goes....I've been through alot relationship-wise. Each one seems to be an improvement on the last, and though I thought I would be with my first love forever, I can actually look back and say I'm glad for all of the experiences with the different people. That may be my Venus in Gemini liking the variety aspect.



Oh, I know man.. If you think love and pity are the same. Your in for a treat when you find the real deal. And, your probably going to get your ass blind sided.. lol

I'm also a V.I.G .. Although I really don't feel like it fits me anymore.. When I was younger you bet your ass.. I was totally in the fast and flashy girls. All about the flavor of the month. Dated girls for a fun time, or bragging rights with the guys..lol Now all that seems so empty and pointless. I'm not going to say that I would change it if I could go back. I learn a lot like you. And at probably the best time in my life for learning those things. One of the biggest things I learn was a beautiful face today, can be replaced by another beautiful face next month. But a good woman, that is a good match, has the right qualities, goals, and common understanding. Someone you could see getting old with. That's someone that's rare, and worth keeping around, worth fighting for... I don't care about variety anymore. I care about bond, and forever.
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TaurusBull1977
@TaurusBull1977
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For me...
I have the most difficulty understanding myself sometimes. Taurus Sun/Gemini Moon/Aqua Rising. I trust my gut instinct, and I am highly perceptive, but yet still guarded, introverted. I want people to get to know me, and then I fault them for not attempting to understand me. It's almost hypocritical. I am quick to form fixed opinions, and judgements of other people, but yet, it takes a lifetime for them to get to know and understand me.

The craziest thing?

I want them to be extremely patient when doing so. Knowing that at any point in time, my emotions can change. I'm almost amazed at myself when this happens.

When their level of patience has exhausted all it's possibilities and (I'm cornered into making decisions), I feel pressured, rushed, confined, and feel that my endless possibilities are now coming to an end.

It's now or never.

Stability or Nada.

When I choose stability, I find myself confined to a relationship in the absense of any real genuine love, or a love that has lost it's spark. It becomes a matter of duty and responsibility. I will have to agree with Absense on this one, I deter weakness and anything associated with it. I don't whine and complain about my responsibilities. Why should you? I find myself playing the role of the matriarch.

Slowly resenting them, but still playing the role, fitting the mold of the ryde or die girlfriend. Too stubborn to admit a mistake was made. Too cautious to start all over again.
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TLS
@TaurusLovesScorpio
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Posted by TaurusBull1977
When I choose stability, I find myself confined to a relationship in the absense of any real genuine love, or a love that has lost it's spark. It becomes a matter of duty and responsibility. I will have to agree with Absense on this one, I deter weakness and anything associated with it. I don't whine and complain about my responsibilities. Why should you? I find myself playing the role of the matriarch.



LOL...I've had very little experience with Taurus women prior to being on these boads. Only had one female bull friend (who was awesome). The women seem VERY strong - almost intimidating. I've been surprised by it. I am only really strong when I'm mad; most other times I'm goofy and child-like. I can definitely see a Taurus woman needing a stronger partner. You think the Gemini moon makes you less content with stability? I think any strong Gem placements for a bull are hard bc that sign is very contradictory to our nature. I've read mixed things about Tau with Gem moon - some say prone to snap/poor judgment, others say the opposite - that it is a very intuitive position. You give good advice and insight into bulls though.
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TaurusBull1977
@TaurusBull1977
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Posted by TaurGuy

I would love to have that one special person that I could tell everything to..
To me, friends, even the really good ones, don't make the cut.. If go to anyone for something, I go to different friends for different things. Out of even my really good friends not a single one knows everything about me.. If you got them all in a room together for a chat I bet they could get about 80% put together..




I think with Bulls, we're very similar to our polar opposites, Scorpio.

There are so many different layers to our personality.

I think this stems from giving ouselves away in bits and pieces (depending on the comfort level with that person) vs giving ourselves away in a mouthful.

Caution is EVERYTHING to Bulls.
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TaurusBull1977
@TaurusBull1977
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Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio

You think the Gemini moon makes you less content with stability? I think any strong Gem placements for a bull are hard bc that sign is very contradictory to our nature. I've read mixed things about Tau with Gem moon - some say prone to snap/poor judgment, others say the opposite - that it is a very intuitive position. You give good advice and insight into bulls though.



The Gemini moon is a fickle moon for a Taurus native. I don't believe that I am less content with stability. (I still crave it, the loyalty, the consistency, the monotonous of it all), there just seems to be an underlying fear. The fear of fighting for the wrong person.

Knowing that at any time my emotions can shift or change.
And most importantly,
That I have settled for the wrong person.
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TaurusBull1977
@TaurusBull1977
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Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
I just don't have the heart to leave a person because they are weaker, even if it is a factor in my chemistry with them - especially when I do feel I am in love with the person.



I have a question...

How do you feel when their reliance on you becomes too great to bear?

Do you feel resentful?

Or still useful?

I hear Tauruses love to feel needed. Being the rock is our most prized and honorable quality.

But what happens when the only driving force is navigating the entire relationship without the assistance of the other?

I love being sturdy, but I will be honest, there are times when I just want to relax, chill, and be in a lazy muddle pud all day. Leave the worries to a partner for a day. Be the rock. Let him be ME for a day.

Just to have my personal rock for the day.
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TaurGuy
@TaurGuy
15 Years500+ PostsTaurus

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Posted by TaurusBull1977
Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
I just don't have the heart to leave a person because they are weaker, even if it is a factor in my chemistry with them - especially when I do feel I am in love with the person.



I have a question...

How do you feel when their reliance on you becomes too great to bear?

Do you feel resentful?

Or still useful?

I hear Tauruses love to feel needed. Being the rock is our most prized and honorable quality.

But what happens when the only driving force is navigating the entire relationship without the assistance of the other?

I love being sturdy, but I will be honest, there are times when I just want to relax, chill, and be in a lazy muddle pud all day. Leave the worries to a partner for a day. Be the rock. Let him be ME for a day.

Just to have my personal rock for the day.
click to expand




I actually love being the rock. It's what I'm good at, who I am. What makes it a burden is when you do have an equally strong partner. I love being there because I want to be there. Not because I have to. When it becomes obvious that they rely on you strength. Pretty soon that is the only face you can put on. You can never relax, never express your weaknesses. I want partner who knows me for my strength, and for my weaknesses.
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TLS
@TaurusLovesScorpio
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Posted by TaurusBull1977


.



I think it depends on the other really, and what their issues are. If its about getting things done, I would be pretty stern, and expect change. You both have to put in effort. I never enable someone and do everything for them. It should be 50/50. I have too many things I want to do, and enjoy my free time too much, to be someone else's admin, maid, etc. My Sag is good with all that.

Emotionally its a little different. My Sag only breaks down once in a while - and it usually only lasts a day or so. BUT its a bad breakdown. When a Sag loses all hope, when they can't find their natural optimism (which is very rare), things get REALLY bad...They are like ready to die right on the spot. But, if you give them a good pep talk, and like turn on the TV and distract them right after that, they are usually fine the next day. LOL.

Much more difficult is living with someone who has longer lasting low moods, is actually depressed, has severe anxiety, is severely pessimistic, etc. I'm not sure how I could handle that, bc I have enough of that on my own that I fight against (in silence without sharing it with my partner). Deeply rooted predispositions towards negativite thinking are a battle that I believe someone must fight on their own. You can't be the voice in their head. They have to change the way they think and this is a VERY difficult battle. If they aren't even at the stage of realizing that its something *they* have to do, and rely on you for that, they aren't anywhere near understanding the nature of the problem.
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venusianbull
@venusianbull
15 Years25,000+ PostsTaurus

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In partnership I am at home in mastermind role. The spine of steel with the quiet smile. I am skilled at domesticity and take pride in it.
As for what I demand in a partner, it is strength assuredly yet coupled with allowing me to crumble from time to time. Someone with enough sensitivity and warmth to not repeatedly hurt over and over again. Not that they won't on occasion, shit happens, but doesn't make it a habit.
Someone there implicitly for me.

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Absence
@Absence
11 YearsTaurus

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TaurusBull1977, I have a Gem moon as well. I know exactly what you are expressing. The Taurus Sun/Scorpio Rising in me, makes me intense, stable and loyal [and have been told: very intimidating]. Yet, the Gem in me, is afraid of committing to the wrong man. Once that commitment is made, I will try whatever it takes to make it work. However, I can feel the resentment creeping slowly inside of me when I sense weakness. I keep falling into the same mistake of nurturing a man ( very strong in me)..over and over again. Though fully aware, I keep ignoring the fact that a man that is capable of bringing forth my nurturing instinct is because I perceive weakness in him and in the long run I will resent it. I feel as if I have fallen pray of this vicious circle. Fully aware....yet unable to break it.


....and than, if I am to find a man that is equally strong or stronger ( hard to believe but I'll entertain the idea..hehehe), I feel that I will have absolutely no control in that relationship. And if I am to release that control, I will have to absolutely trust that person....

ahh....this is too complicated.

I'll opt for celibacy!

But I enjoy sex too much!! Darn!

I'm doomed!
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Damnata
@Damnata
15 Years25,000+ PostsVirgo

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Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
I have poor boundaries and tend to look at life in general, and all the issues I have, as a sort of ridiculous joke. So I often open up to complete strangers, let my inner demons loose, and they start flying around the room and annoying everyone.



This is SO SO me. Not a ridiculous joke but something out of a truman show..I constantly wait for someone to jump from the bushes and tell me it's all a tv series.

I open up to everybody, all the time which is why people mistake my interest for friendliness..a Scorpio friend told me by being so open I never make anyone feel more special than the rest and that is an issue.
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Damnata
@Damnata
15 Years25,000+ PostsVirgo

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Posted by venusianbull
D'ya know what phrase I loathe the most discussing problems? 'Well. Good luck.'...what in the Almighty F*** is that?!
I think in part it's because I brought a real issue to the table and if it was the reverse I do my level best to break it down and arrive at a solution.
So that laissez-faire response to something I bring with merit pisses me off.



Well, good luck sounds exactly like "Up yours" to me.

Same thought process. It's like I go into so much detail to explain and someone just..dismisses all that. It feels like "Whatever, I cannot be bothered. Shoo away peasant, SHOO"
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venusianbull
@venusianbull
15 Years25,000+ PostsTaurus

Comments: 438 · Posts: 33721 · Topics: 241
Exactly. Dismissal does not sit well with this Queen.

Worded a bit differently perhaps. 'I'm sorry but I'm not coming up with a solution for that.' Not welp! all my hydraulics, wrenches, and the compressor crapped out on the uptake..I bid you good day.
I suppose in part it's offensive to me because I'm open for others, even when I truly haven't the time so that makes me cringe.
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Damnata
@Damnata
15 Years25,000+ PostsVirgo

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Posted by venusianbull
Did you know... my mother carried me a month overdue. I should have arrived in March. 🙂

Lil' fun fact for ya.



I knew that since I am a stalker and I'm sure you mentioned it at some point.

My Virgo dad was so precise about it..he wanted not only a Virgo child but one born on his birthday. My mother couldn't stand the August heat so she went in almost 2 weeks early. To this day he still passes snide remarks about that.
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lnana04
@lnana04
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Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
Posted by TaurusBull1977


.



Much more difficult is living with someone who has longer lasting low moods, is actually depressed, has severe anxiety, is severely pessimistic, etc. I'm not sure how I could handle that, bc I have enough of that on my own that I fight against (in silence without sharing it with my partner).
click to expand




Eww, this is the big red flag between the Taurus and I...I always think we'd drown eachother with our moods. Anxiety, pessimism, depression...*raises hand* all me. Actually he sensed it in me early on and gave me a type of vitamin he takes because he battles the same things. It's why I sometimes think we both need someone with a lighter mood and energy. Plus, we are way too emotionally bonded meaning that everything, even a bad mood, affects the other...and it's all heavy emotions, then we are both "fixers" maybe me moreso than him, which is weird. How am I going to get someone out of being stressed or depressed when I am? Its something I always think about. Its kind of like we go through our lows at the same time, and we both work through it alone. He seems to make a bit more progress.

I remember when we first reconnected last year, he asked if I was ready to start dating in general. I was like "nah, I'm still trying to get myself together." He said "that's the same thing you were saying three years ago", which is true smh. Constant work, little progress. Atleast he seems moves forward at a quicker pace. I think it's all something we both look at.

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TaurusBull1977
@TaurusBull1977
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Posted by Absence
Yet, the Gem in me, is afraid of committing to the wrong man. Once that commitment is made, I will try whatever it takes to make it work. However, I can feel the resentment creeping slowly inside of me when I sense weakness. I keep falling into the same mistake of nurturing a man ( very strong in me)..over and over again. Though fully aware, I keep ignoring the fact that a man that is capable of bringing forth my nurturing instinct is because I perceive weakness in him and in the long run I will resent it. I feel as if I have fallen pray of this vicious circle. Fully aware....yet unable to break it.



The story of my life.

Posted by Absence

....and than, if I am to find a man that is equally strong or stronger ( hard to believe but I'll entertain the idea..hehehe), I feel that I will have absolutely no control in that relationship. And if I am to release that control, I will have to absolutely trust that person....

click to expand




This ^^^

+1000

It's the Gemini Moon that allows me to jump into making quick judgements. Call it the lack of trust issue, or this individual might have an agenda issue.

Do I really want to relinquish control to this individual?

The best cure for Taurus/Gemini Moons?

Someone who is extremely patient; allows us to move at our own pace.
This is the only way trust is earned, and there are no hidden agendas or BS detected.
Allows us to be comfortable in our niche (playing the den mother); being the rock, but not exploiting
us to the point of extreme codependcy.
Being loyal, consistent, an active listener, sincere and genuine.

Even sturdy rocks have their meltdowns every once in awhile. 😉