Taurus Man trying to get me back or more games?

Exhale....
I'm going to try to keep this brief.
Met taurus guy "online" 5 months ago. Technically we already knew each other; our sons are good friends/went to middle school together/played football together.
But we never really interacted those 3 years.
So we connected online.
We are both 38.
He's divorced with 3 kids; I have just the one.
We "met", hit it off and then he started with the hot/cold.
I had read about tauruses so I showed a lot of patience with him but found the cold times hard to stomach.
I calmly communicated at various times what I wanted, didn't just expect him to read my mind.
I have always been honest with him.
I could sense him opening up to me.
Always caught him staring at me (which I've read is a taurus thing).
I told him I had feelings/liked him/thought he was special.
He said "ok. I will put that in my back pocket." WTF!!! And called me baby.
Then he would be a jerk. Like make plans but not show up until late.
Literally ran out of my house when I asked him how he felt abt me.
Didn't call me for 10 days.
Was a complete jerk next time I saw him.
Barely would reply to my texts. I'm not Into chasing men so I didn't text often but always text first.
Then I don't hear from him for a month. And he doesn't call or text. He finds me on a new dating site and messages me.
Gave me a bogus excuse "life and the shit I've been thru" for not talking to me for so long.
So I told him exactly how I felt. Not mean rude or cussing but basically you don't treat me well, I deserve better and I hope u find what u want.

He said "wow. I'm going to call you to respond".
No call.
Two weeks later he messages me again telling me to call him and he puts his number.
Umm I have your number and u have mine. But I called him. He put on this big act of acting like he didn't remember who I was even though I said "this is k**, you ASKED ME to call u".
He said I'm dealing with a situation, let me call u back.
No call.
Honestly that really hurt my feelings. I feel he purposely tried to make me feel bad. And I've only been nice. I even made that fucker cookies.
I digress.
A month later he messages me AGAIN!!!
Asked me to call. I didn't. Not after the bullshit he pulled.
Two weeks later he messages me yet again.
"Did you find someone yet?"

Ok so I know he's an ass. He definitely has not met my expectations on how I deserve to be treated.
But he wasn't always bad. He was great too. And even though he

acted like an ass and did not always treat me how i know i deserve I.CANNOT.STOP.THINKING.ABOUT.HIM.

He told me I had passed all of his tests and had come closer to making him happy than anyone else had.

Is this typical taurus behavior at all? I know it's jerky behavior.
Why does he keep reaching out when he ends up being a jerk? To eff with me?
Or is he realizing I was hard to replace?
Give it to me straight.

Impulsv
You sound like my best friend. He is a jerk. I will agree with that.

Impulsv
I feel the same as u. MAN UP or move the eff on.

I dated a Taurus guy for 6 years, and they love love love to play games! The best thing to do is leave him alone. Don't play games back because I promise you get caught in a never ending viscous cycle. Taurus men want to know that they're wanted, and they will play these games with you to see if your the real deal. Just ignore him, your not a science experiment for him to test!! Give him space and let him figure himself out and what he wants.

Posted by xxbrittxxtay
I dated a Taurus guy for 6 years, and they love love love to play games! The best thing to do is leave him alone. Don't play games back because I promise you get caught in a never ending viscous cycle. Taurus men want to know that they're wanted, and they will play these games with you to see if your the real deal. Just ignore him, your not a science experiment for him to test!! Give him space and let him figure himself out and what he wants.

exactly this! Even if he makes you feel special, looks at you with those eyes that sparkle in love (you wouldn't think this could be faked, but I wonder), just move on...it's a never ending cycle.

Ladies - this is not typical Taurus male behavior. This is a man taking advantage of his power over you. I'm not saying it is your fault; he obviously has serious issues that he is not mature enough to deal with. But from my reading, you put up with way too much because of his charm, or whatever it was that reeled you in.

If a man runs out of your house when you share your feelings for him? When you are being extremely vulnerable like that? He's an ass, and you should've considered that the end right there. He is obviously very immature or wounded or whatever, and he cannot handle anything like a real relationship. He is also lacking in the compassion department to do something like that. Sounds manipulative as well. Perhaps you've met a sociopath.

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
Ladies - this is not typical Taurus male behavior. This is a man taking advantage of his power over you. I'm not saying it is your fault; he obviously has serious issues that he is not mature enough to deal with. But from my reading, you put up with way too much because of his charm, or whatever it was that reeled you in.

If a man runs out of your house when you share your feelings for him? When you are being extremely vulnerable like that? He's an ass, and you should've considered that the end right there. He is obviously very immature or wounded or whatever, and he cannot handle anything like a real relationship. He is also lacking in the compassion department to do something like that. Sounds manipulative as well. Perhaps you've met a sociopath.

Explain then why this behavior is so rampant in this forum and on the internet in general, for Taurus males? Do you think maybe Taurus males are more susceptible to life's bs and therefore are affected by it more so than most, and then become commitment phobic or whatever?

Firstly, I think alot of people show up on this board when they are confused, and it isn't working out for whatever reason. People having good experiences are probably too busy enjoying them to come here and brag about it. I also think its a mistake to assume these situations are all that similar. Everybody uses this vague "hot/cold" terminology (I see it for alot of the signs on DXP, mainly for the fixed signs though), but the meaning seems to vary. It could be something as simple as "I thought he was a good guy, he turned out to be a total jerk the more I got to know him" and this is labeled as "hot/cold".

We are afraid of commitment simply because we take it so seriously. When we do commit, it is usually for the long haul, and if we make the wrong choice, it is usually takes us a LOOOOONG time to get over it. We don't move on all that easily, we hate change, etc. In a sense, we all ought to have a good healthy fear of commitment looking at how many relationships fail nowadays.

I wholeheartedly agree his behavior has not been acceptable. I have not just taken his bullshit but I have tried to come from a place of understanding. People don't just do bad things to good people because they are bad. Something made them that way. I'm curious what parts of his behavior contribute to his jerkiness.

He has said on numerous occasions "I've been thru hell and back", "all the ish I've been thru...." Blah blah blah.

I told him he has no idea what I've been thru and that everyone has baggage/things that have hurt them. I've tried to deal with him from a mature standpoint because I am mature. Not going to stoop to his level. I have to continue to be me.

I do believe when he's been a complete jerk that was a personality flaw but the hesitation, running away and hot/cold, and now the baby steps back, just curious from a male taureans perspective where does this come from. It seems like a pattern from everything I've read abt the sign.

And you ask if bulls are particularly susceptible to some of the trauma of dating in the modern world? I think that's possibly a good insight. Look at the divorce rates, the amount of cheating that goes on, how easy it is to hook up, how casually people move in and out of relationships nowadays. I'd say in general we're not really built for that; we want a real love that lasts, that is hard to find nowadays, and it seems to stand to reason that bulls would potentially take more damage in such an environment. It seems pretty easy to see why alot of bulls would want to lay back, play it safe, keep options open, etc. I can see this being moreso the case if they have a history of failed relationships.

Posted by Aquarius75
I'm curious what parts of his behavior contribute to his jerkiness.

He has said on numerous occasions "I've been thru hell and back", "all the ish I've been thru...." Blah blah blah.

I told him he has no idea what I've been thru and that everyone has baggage/things that have hurt them. I've tried to deal with him from a mature standpoint because I am mature. Not going to stoop to his level. I have to continue to be me.

I do believe when he's been a complete jerk that was a personality flaw but the hesitation, running away and hot/cold, and now the baby steps back, just curious from a male taureans perspective where does this come from. It seems like a pattern from everything I've read abt the sign.

Its obviously some form of past relationship trauma that he percieves to be severe - rejection, abandonment, maybe infidelity, etc. I've been through it myself. After my divorce, I was a completely different person. I became cynical about love and definitely afraid to commit, and though I'm in a relationship now, I still have residual issues. We have dated for a looooong time and even though this person is amazing, I just want to keep things the same. I went through years of pulling back and closing off when I sensed things were shaky or risky in any way. I'm settling in now, but it definitely has to do with how long it takes me to really heal from a failed relationship.

Ladies, you are all speaking to my soul. I know all you say to be true. Despite all his BS, I feel deeply he is a special person but he has to deal with his issues before he could ever be man enough to have another chance. It's sad to me for someone who has so much to offer to miss out on something great right in front of him. I know in the end that it's so much more his loss but I do still feel that connection. It's a process. Him continuing to reach out doesn't help. I've already started to meet new people but I'm just not there yet to get too excited about anyone else yet.

Thank you for sharing your experiences.

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
And you ask if bulls are particularly susceptible to some of the trauma of dating in the modern world? I think that's possibly a good insight. Look at the divorce rates, the amount of cheating that goes on, how easy it is to hook up, how casually people move in and out of relationships nowadays. I'd say in general we're not really built for that; we want a real love that lasts, that is hard to find nowadays, and it seems to stand to reason that bulls would potentially take more damage in such an environment. It seems pretty easy to see why alot of bulls would want to lay back, play it safe, keep options open, etc. I can see this being moreso the case if they have a history of failed relationships.

Very well stated. 🙂

I can't stress this enough.
We're in the Age of Aquarius.
Now Traditional Bulls are considered the outsiders.

@The OP....
I don't condone or agree with his pattern of communication but I can understand his reluctance to make a premature decision about a relationship he's not too certain about.

He should at least simplify it..."I'm taking it slow and keeping my options open."

I get it. No one with a steady head on their shoulders would rush in without getting to know someone. I've been burned before. I have found it takes a least two years to really know the person you are dating. I didn't ask for a commitment. I asked him what he thought of me. I didn't declare my love for him. I told him I liked him and thought there was something special about him. I've never seen someone be SOOOO uncomfortable being asked how they felt. Ever. It would have been comical had it not been so sad. A simple "I like what I see and want to take it slow" would've sufficed. He was constantly asking me "are you feeling me?" "Do you think I'm boring?" I didn't think it was off base to ask him a similar question. Especially after I'd put myself out there so much. I'm an Aquarius. We don't usually talk about our feelings or make the first move. I tried something different and he burned me bad on that one. And guess what? I still won't act like he did.

Posted by Impulsv
I saw everything u say Tls on Taurus but did not make it right for me to put myself through that n pay for all the other women.
N yes it was my bad for having compassion n trying to help him see another way. In the end I did a disservice to my soul. It was to much of a sacrifice which didn't even move a mountain. Stubborn man. May he continue to distrust woman live guardedly n close love out. May his soul continue to die until he Figures it out.

Impulsv - lol! Look at you casting curses on your bull. What happened to unconditional love for the Twin Flame? The necessity of the karmic lessons? You have your little stinger raised lately. Hahahaha....I'm kidding, but you do seem a little feisty lately.

Aren't you dating a Pisces now? How is that working out? I'm becoming more and more intrigued with the Pisces folks (just from a mental perspective of course).

Posted by Aquarius75
He was constantly asking me "are you feeling me?" "Do you think I'm boring?" I didn't think it was off base to ask him a similar question. Especially after I'd put myself out there so much. I'm an Aquarius. We don't usually talk about our feelings or make the first move. I tried something different and he burned me bad on that one. And guess what? I still won't act like he did.

I remember when my first love said our relationship was boring. I just used to go over her house, we'd have sex, eat food, and watch TV and cuddle. I thought we had arrived...lol. But when she told me she felt it was boring after a while, I was crushed. And then I read that bulls have this as a trait and for years it was like a straight jacket. I honestly do feel like I would bore the hell out of an Aqua though.

In my opinion, Taurus men are charming but dangerous. They only seem to be interested in seduction. They chase you until your caught, charm you and then reverse the process, leaving you confused. The best women for them should be extremely passive and forgiving or another Taurus because theyre at the same game, so they know how to handle each other. Here is an excerpt I found on a page under the Taurus forum and it rings very true from my experience with them.

"Like Mystic said they are mind treetr-nking animals that prey on weak women who can be easily ear hustled. They will say whatever it takes to get the girl. Those who are loyal are rare, they are only loyal to male friends or the ones that they marry and quite frankly many of them aren't loyal to them. They love the attention and they want their cake and eat it too. He has a girlfriend because if he didn't, he would have pursued you. They dont care about hurting your feelings they dont have a conscience, they are just that selfish. It's hard to fathom because you are a Capricorn probably much more evolved but they are the second animal in the zodiac, the first one is caveman Aries. The second is them, all they do is charge around and try to get what they want. They are not the type that like to be pursued by the girl that they really want. And many times they are too immature to know what they want so they keep 100 women around. They like having girls there. I know that this girl that is so treetr-nkING stupid she competed with me and all he is doing is using her for the in between time. He will just say what she wants to hear but because she is an ego maniac and a conceited ***** she fails to realize that she didn't WIN him, I walked away. They dont care how unattractive their ego boosts are. They dont care how crazy they are. They dont care how fat they are. They just want them to know that they still are popular and pretty. If you are about surface dwelling you will never get to him. Chances are is that he is a chameleon and mostly what you know is not him but fragments of other women that he presents so that he can get a determined outcome - ATTENTION. There is no code to crack these hot and cold beasts. When you go cold they will do whatever it takes to get your attention but chances are, once you give in they are back to their old tricks. They are the very immature animals in the zodiac.

The other thing is this and I have to go on record saying it THEY LOVE MIND GAMES. And they don't car

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio

Posted by Aquarius75
He was constantly asking me "are you feeling me?" "Do you think I'm boring?" I didn't think it was off base to ask him a similar question. Especially after I'd put myself out there so much. I'm an Aquarius. We don't usually talk about our feelings or make the first move. I tried something different and he burned me bad on that one. And guess what? I still won't act like he did.

I remember when my first love said our relationship was boring. I just used to go over her house, we'd have sex, eat food, and watch TV and cuddle. I thought we had arrived...lol. But when she told me she felt it was boring after a while, I was crushed. And then I read that bulls have this as a trait and for years it was like a straight jacket. I honestly do feel like I would bore the hell out of an Aqua though.

click to expand

They do say tauruses are too boring for aquariuses but I'm very much a homebody. I like to have fun every now and then but mostly low key fun.

Posted by Aquarius75


They do say tauruses are too boring for aquariuses but I'm very much a homebody. I like to have fun every now and then but mostly low key fun.

LOL...all the Aquas that come on this board always say that too. I picture them chilling at home, inviting the neighbor's teenage kids over to smoke weed, the homeless man they met on the way home from the grocery store, etc. hahahahha....Every Aqua I know keeps strange company....

Posted by CreativeCap
They dont care about hurting your feelings they dont have a conscience, they are just that selfish. It's hard to fathom because you are a Capricorn probably much more evolved but they are the second animal in the zodiac, the first one is caveman Aries. The second

Such nonsense. I'm surprised a Cap would buy into this. I've never cheated in my life and have been cheated on several times. My first love cheated on two separate occasions and my conscience was so stricken when she would beg and cry, I felt SO bad for her, I took her back, and I actually forgave her sincerely and never brought it up. When my wife told me she cheated many years later, on her knees and in tears also, the first words out of my mouth were that I forgave her, and I also meant it sincerely. We remain friends to this day. If anything my problem is that I don't think of my own interests enough in love, and I often wind up staying with people, out of loyalty, that may not be best for me because I don't want to break their heart. I have several male Taurus friends and none of them are malicious or prey on women. You probably feel that way if we come on strong, and then it doesn't work out but maybe there are other factors.

2nd beast in the zodiac? LOL. What nonsense (but I agree Aries are cavemen...lol). I suppose a goat is a much more ethical animal than a bull? *Scratching head*...

Posted by Impulsv
Lol I did tell Taurus if we had been married for ten years
Didn't know it was a peep peeve. Just used to fire signs. That's all. Frankly this Pisces seem like a party guy n now I'm the homebody boring one n I'm ok with it
Take it or leave it. No longer it bar hoping ect.
I'm total seeing how Taurus probably viewed me . Excited for life partying ect.

in your new pic, you are having a drink at the bar though...hahahhaha. I assumed your bull had driven you there. lol

I don't believe my (ex) Taurus didn't have a conscience, was malicious or preyed on me. I believe he showed true remorse when he thought he hurt me. But...I also know that he led me to believe he truly cared about me and wanted to have a relationship with me, although when it came down to it, he could not follow through. Honestly, what I think he wanted, was to have me when he wanted me, and nothing more. He gave just enough to keep me believing that there was a chance. He values his freedom so much, that the thought of someone interfering sent him running for the hills. He never inquired about my thoughts on freedom...as I enjoy mine as much as he enjoys his, therefore would never interfere. He made assumptions about me, comparing to his previous (or current for all I know) relationships. If it were up to him, I would still be waiting patiently on the sidelines, for the once every couple of weeks contact, as if no time had passed. So as far as feeling a certain way because it doesn't work out? No that isn't it...if it were up to him it would be working out just fine, according to his terms only.

In other words, Aquarius75, I wouldn't believe a damn word he says, no matter how sincere he may seem
; )

libra - yeah, theres truth in all that. I think its more to do with our suuuuuper slow pace than anything, though past hurts seem to slow us down even more. it takes alot of patience to date a bull. i think often we do wind up with that girl who waited on the sidelines forever. its clear she is not going anywhere....lol, and that is what we are ultimately looking for....im half-joking, but only half....ive seen the libra/taurus thing a bit though...its clear the leebs are not waiting around.....

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
libra - yeah, theres truth in all that. I think its more to do with our suuuuuper slow pace than anything, though past hurts seem to slow us down even more. it takes alot of patience to date a bull. i think often we do wind up with that girl who waited on the sidelines forever. its clear she is not going anywhere....lol, and that is what we are ultimately looking for....im half-joking, but only half....ive seen the libra/taurus thing a bit though...its clear the leebs are not waiting around.....

I'm picturing the girl with such low self esteem, she feels like she can get nobody else, so opts to wait around for the Taurus to make up his mind, and in the end, gets him? So, there are lots of Taurus males out there with women who have really low self esteem...wow. That's kinda like payback for all the worthwhile strong, independent women they could have had, and blew off! Thanks for that!

Posted by libralioness

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
libra - yeah, theres truth in all that. I think its more to do with our suuuuuper slow pace than anything, though past hurts seem to slow us down even more. it takes alot of patience to date a bull. i think often we do wind up with that girl who waited on the sidelines forever. its clear she is not going anywhere....lol, and that is what we are ultimately looking for....im half-joking, but only half....ive seen the libra/taurus thing a bit though...its clear the leebs are not waiting around.....

I'm picturing the girl with such low self esteem, she feels like she can get nobody else, so opts to wait around for the Taurus to make up his mind, and in the end, gets him? So, there are lots of Taurus males out there with women who have really low self esteem...wow. That's kinda like payback for all the worthwhile strong, independent women they could have had, and blew off! Thanks for that!

click to expand

Yasssss!! I feel the same way. I don't get this need to test someone so much but not prove you are just as worthy of my love.

Posted by Aquarius75

Posted by libralioness

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
libra - yeah, theres truth in all that. I think its more to do with our suuuuuper slow pace than anything, though past hurts seem to slow us down even more. it takes alot of patience to date a bull. i think often we do wind up with that girl who waited on the sidelines forever. its clear she is not going anywhere....lol, and that is what we are ultimately looking for....im half-joking, but only half....ive seen the libra/taurus thing a bit though...its clear the leebs are not waiting around.....

I'm picturing the girl with such low self esteem, she feels like she can get nobody else, so opts to wait around for the Taurus to make up his mind, and in the end, gets him? So, there are lots of Taurus males out there with women who have really low self esteem...wow. That's kinda like payback for all the worthwhile strong, independent women they could have had, and blew off! Thanks for that!

Yasssss!! I feel the same way. I don't get this need to test someone so much but not prove you are just as worthy of my love.

click to expand

If there were a like button, I would click it, lol!

Posted by libralioness

I'm picturing the girl with such low self esteem, she feels like she can get nobody else, so opts to wait around for the Taurus to make up his mind, and in the end, gets him? So, there are lots of Taurus males out there with women who have really low self esteem...wow. That's kinda like payback for all the worthwhile strong, independent women they could have had, and blew off! Thanks for that!

Yeah, I admit I am a sucker for a girl with low self esteem. Maybe its just been who I attract but every woman I've been with has been molested or abused at some point in their life and has deep insecurity, even if they are drop-dead gorgeous, super successful and competent in every area. I still see them as worthwhile though. I find people with issues more interesting, as long as they are self-aware and willing to do the work to get through them. I have a lot of issues that I work through myself though. This is just the path that some peoples' lives have to take.

What I don't do though, is stay bitter if a relationship doesn't work out. I don't stay bitter towards a sun sign, or an individual. It only hurts you. Not everyone is compatible and that's just the way it is. OP's man has deep issues. So he's too messed up at this point for it to work. Still....I never judge a person too harshly, because given their circumstances, who knows....any one of us might have turned out even worse.

I'm truly sorry for the unfortunate circumstances that your past relationships have had to deal with, TLS. It was not my intent to disregard any one's reasons for making them the person that they are. And you are correct in saying every person is worthwhile.

I also would like to mention that I am not bitter because I chose to end my relationship. I am, however, curious about how a Taurus mind works, as they are so confusing. I would never wish anything bad, nor be pleased with any misfortune that my Taurus may experience. I truly have deep feelings for him, and want for him only the best. If I could have him back without all the bs, I would take it in a second, but experience tells me, that is only wishful thinking.

I definitely agree with TLS.

Three of my ex guys were Taurus, my brother is one, my grandfather is one and the guy I am in a relationship with now (hopefully for good 🙂) is also Taurus. They are all different in character but what I can say about each of them on the matter of relationship and treating their woman is that they are all very considerate and affectionate towards their partner. Yes, they tend to move really slow.
In all honesty I never met a Taurus guy that acted like jerk towards his woman. My brake-ups were for some other reasons (incompatibility or the clash of temper) but they were always clear about their feelings towards me and there was no disrespect.

There is one Taurus that I know that can't settle in a relationship and changes women on monthly basis. His argument on that is that he is in search for the right one, for his special lady and when he finds her she will be his queen. Until that day, he will rather not be in a relationship and play this way then be with someone that he knows he can't commit to.

Jerks, well they can be found all over the place, no matter the sign.

Posted by libralioness
I truly have deep feelings for him, and want for him only the best. If I could have him back without all the bs, I would take it in a second, but experience tells me, that is only wishful thinking.

Well, I would do the same in your situation. I don't put up with any crap...lol. And I respect that the Leebs don't either.

more games

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio
And you ask if bulls are particularly susceptible to some of the trauma of dating in the modern world? I think that's possibly a good insight. Look at the divorce rates, the amount of cheating that goes on, how easy it is to hook up, how casually people move in and out of relationships nowadays. I'd say in general we're not really built for that; we want a real love that lasts, that is hard to find nowadays, and it seems to stand to reason that bulls would potentially take more damage in such an environment. It seems pretty easy to see why alot of bulls would want to lay back, play it safe, keep options open, etc. I can see this being moreso the case if they have a history of failed relationships.

so how do you show Taurus that you are serious? I was going on with this guy, after certain date he told me that we're rushing and he is uncertain. So, I said ok and stopped contacting him. He contacted me first, seemed to be very happy that I m still open for communication. Now we talk time to time, it looks like he still big time into me BUT he doesn't make any moves. So, should I ask him what's up or just play it cool? I mean , I'm trying to be at least good friend , cause I really want to get to know him, but he opens up so slow, like he is afraid of me or something. I compliment him a lot, trying to initiate the contact time to time, every time he seems very happy, when I come around. but once again, now I confuse on how much he likes me and if I should just wait or move on.. maybe he is playing me?! but I don't know he seemed very open and into me from the first day. Just give some advice how should I act

To the original posting: That guy's behavior is rude and unacceptable. He's a jerk, has nothing to do with being a taurus.

Posted by Lust
He is not into you, not because of he is a Taurus. You're just simply not good enough for him to win his respect.

So Why do you still find him attractive after what he did to you? You won't be coming on this DXP confuse & asking opinion about this guy if you don't.

Lust, I'm not sure how the fact this guy was a jerk has any bearing on how much respect Aquarius75 deserved. The OP asked a question, I am assuming to have clearer insight into the behavior. As an Aquarius, thats just how we work. We are always trying to understand human behavior even if its a situation that we are moving on from.

Not sure if you meant it that way but it came out really douchey what you said.