Why it is so hard to find good man?

I am a 32 and still single. I'm losing my hope to find my soul mate. Im starting to think I scare ppl off by being honest and telling them what I want. Last time I dated a guy for 5 months and he cheated me. Came to find out he was married. I lost the hope in humanity but some how with my friends and family help I built up my lost hope yet another guy who I was talking to just crushed my hope once again. I was talkin to a Virgo guy for 6 weeks. Just casual text and calls. As soon I suggested we should meet he went MIA. Why? What did I do wrong? Ppl r making me so insecure. I feel like I'm being judge by everything I say. I don't even know what to say or what to do. I had such a bad luck with dating. I trust ppl soon and that's my mistake. Why dating have become so hard these days. I feel ppl r being treated as like "option".

Agree with the posts above. Stop trying so hard and put your self first.

The rest WILL fall into place.

Cause of society, and perversion, and wanking every day since they're 12...guys have lost their way. Their humanity, their sense of reality.
In the past, men would refrain from giving in to their most basic impulses, and so they were courteous,kind, romantic and monogamous. Sadly, it's like Lord of the Rings, they need's tha preciousssss...and thy mistreat and use da woman....

Yeah, but you know I was single for 3 years, put myself first and dealt with all my issues, was really good to just me. But even all that time I wanted to find a good man and it didnt happen, just a load of crap dates and false starts 😢 I feel your pain, but i think its something that (unfortunately) is out of our control at times.

Yea I been single for 5 years. Yes u r right. The whole point of dating is to know if we r meant to be together. I do not have a problem with rejection or waiting for the one. I have problem with how ppl mistreat each other and how ppl r selfish.

Thx!

Posted by starlover
......because all the good ones are either taken or gay 😛

Or dead lol

Posted by Bebo2014
I am a 32 and still single. I'm losing my hope to find my soul mate. Im starting to think I scare ppl off by being honest and telling them what I want. Last time I dated a guy for 5 months and he cheated me. Came to find out he was married. I lost the hope in humanity but some how with my friends and family help I built up my lost hope yet another guy who I was talking to just crushed my hope once again. I was talkin to a Virgo guy for 6 weeks. Just casual text and calls. As soon I suggested we should meet he went MIA. Why? What did I do wrong? Ppl r making me so insecure. I feel like I'm being judge by everything I say. I don't even know what to say or what to do. I had such a bad luck with dating. I trust ppl soon and that's my mistake. Why dating have become so hard these days. I feel ppl r being treated as like "option".

I fully understand @ Soulmate.

I'm old school, believe in courtship. I have beliefs and hold traditions dear which modern day society has abandoned in Lieu of something less serious or never lasting. I'm surrounded by people who have no intention of going the distance and instead treat life like it's a joke. It's suffocating to be honest, especially since there are so few like myself in a world of billions.

Truth is I'm most likely going to grow old alone, which I've accepted. There's no way in hell I'm going to alter my beliefs, change who I am, or conform to someone else' flighty, sketchy lifestyle just to make them happy.

What I'm getting at is that you have to accept the possibility that you may never truly be happy. And if you are one of the few lucky bastards to find someone whom reciprocates you in every way, then you truly have a Soulmate and should never take it for granted.

Posted by AriesLady8

Posted by AnomalousBull


I fully understand @ Soulmate.

I'm old school, believe in courtship. I have beliefs and hold traditions dear which modern day society has abandoned in Lieu of something less serious or never lasting. I'm surrounded by people who have no intention of going the distance and instead treat life like it's a joke. It's suffocating to be honest, especially since there are so few like myself in a world of billions.

Truth is I'm most likely going to grow old alone, which I've accepted. There's no way in hell I'm going to alter my beliefs, change who I am, or conform to someone else' flighty, sketchy lifestyle just to make them happy.

What I'm getting at is that you have to accept the possibility that you may never truly be happy. And if you are one of the few lucky bastards to find someone whom reciprocates you in every way, then you truly have a Soulmate and should never take it for granted.

Don't throw in the towel yet : ( ..... You're still young! Indulge in your hobbies or join groups where the members have similar beliefs and views. Those are good places to find love and friendship

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i absolutely understand what he is saying. it's a great post. it's not about throwing the towel in. it's about understanding that there are few people that share those values and beliefs. meeting enough people is often not the problem. the problem is that the quality you are looking for is so rare that you have to accept the possibility that you might never find it. not wanting to compromise and holding firm to your standards means statistically speaking narrowing the pool of potential candidates.

and yes, if you are lucky to find it, dear god you should hang on to it with all your might.

Posted by tiziani
If three people on a message board can see things the same way, how rare is it really?

It could be you need to change your surroundings to a town that's more open to the kind of life you want.

because that is not the only basis for a relationship. it is a big thing, sure, but it is not the only thing. is there chemistry? are you physically attracted to each other? are you compatible? do your other values mesh? are your temperaments aligned? do you have shared goals? is there emotional baggage you need to deal with first? are you in the right time and place in your life? are they already married—?

you can't just tick one thing off - these people want a long lasting relationship - and expect honest to god, true love. it is a many splendid thing that is not always easy to find. it can be if you are willing to settle for meh, close enough. if it was as simple of just meeting people, hardly any of us would ever be single. and the harsh reality is love doesn't come to all of us. there are many people i know for whom love has been elusive.

i've had friends that have gone from relationship to relationship hoping this one would last because it was better than being alone. i've had friends say to me "well, he's got his own teeth. that's good enough for me." i've had a friend who did a pure numbers game because she wanted to be married and pregnant within a certain time frame. she succeeded but it became a case of well, on paper you look good and you'll do what i say. maybe all of those people believed in courtship and were old fashioned, hoping to make things last, doesn't mean they are a good match.

Posted by grayid2
Cause of society, and perversion, and wanking every day since they're 12...guys have lost their way. Their humanity, their sense of reality.
In the past, men would refrain from giving in to their most basic impulses, and so they were courteous,kind, romantic and monogamous. Sadly, it's like Lord of the Rings, they need's tha preciousssss...and thy mistreat and use da woman....

I completely agree but I would like to think that the 30 and up crowd or the 80s babies are effected by it less.... sigh... I hope.

If I were a teenager today, I would be afraid to date and trust anyone with so many rapes, assault, secret video and disrespect towards women... and the very real possibility of being beaten or killed for rejecting a guy. More than a few stories came out about guys killing innocent girls who turned them down for dates. One guy beat up a pregnant lady because he held the door and she didn't say thank you. Many guys think if they pay attention to a women and pay more than $ 2 on her than she put out with no arguments or at least let him kiss her. Women don't own these BOYS anything. For you younger girls please pay close attention to how a guy treats the women in his family, regular people, and who his friends are before you date him. Take self defense classes too.

Posted by Bebo2014
I am a 32 and still single. I'm losing my hope to find my soul mate. Im starting to think I scare ppl off by being honest and telling them what I want. Last time I dated a guy for 5 months and he cheated me. Came to find out he was married. I lost the hope in humanity but some how with my friends and family help I built up my lost hope yet another guy who I was talking to just crushed my hope once again. I was talkin to a Virgo guy for 6 weeks. Just casual text and calls. As soon I suggested we should meet he went MIA. Why? What did I do wrong? Ppl r making me so insecure. I feel like I'm being judge by everything I say. I don't even know what to say or what to do. I had such a bad luck with dating. I trust ppl soon and that's my mistake. Why dating have become so hard these days. I feel ppl r being treated as like "option".

maybe they're picking up a needy clingy vibe from you. my advice would be to go out and enjoy yourlife, meet new people everyday, have fun and don't just set your sights on one guy, choose quality guys (the kind of guys who would make a good mate characterwise; anything financial should be secondary), look your best and have confidence. If someone walks away, let them, it'll still hurt your feelings but do your best not to take these things personally.

Posted by beautifuldiaster

Posted by grayid2
Cause of society, and perversion, and wanking every day since they're 12...guys have lost their way. Their humanity, their sense of reality.
In the past, men would refrain from giving in to their most basic impulses, and so they were courteous,kind, romantic and monogamous. Sadly, it's like Lord of the Rings, they need's tha preciousssss...and thy mistreat and use da woman....

Might I add that women allow this behavior and encourage it. By doing so, it creates an image where women (or men) are seen as a commodity. Something that can be thrown away when it not longer serves a purpose.

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No our culture encourages it. Our culture sets impossible standards for girls to live up too and it has our boys growing up thinking that their girlfriends should be models. Vulgar videos games that young boys, teens and adults don't help bc they involve the regular slap, punch, kick that "ho" behavior. The easy access of porn made for the fantasies of men. Fantasies applied to real life don't work but many young adults are using porn as their own personal sex manual. yuck!! music artists/videos and music demean women; young guys look up to these artists and young women blindly sing these songs and give in to the behavior of the young men who digest this music because they either don't know any better or because that is all that is available to them to date. It all goes back to what we teach our children and what they're exposed too. Europeans think Americans are digusting narcassitic pigs and I don't blame them because that's problem what the typical tourists acts like with them. Other countries aren't perfect but many teach their young to respect elders and the kids were not raised with luxuries and a life of video games and vulgar music and vain pursuit of the latest (fill in the blank). if the kids of today are our future; we're doomed.

Posted by AriesLady8

Posted by Hotbeefy
That's why be glad that you sees already of how ppl mistreat each other, so be glad to avoid those situation.. otherwise you'll be one of them too if you have one.

So be glad to be single!

They say you attract what you are. Become everything you want in another. Start positioning and arranging your life for the things you want. You want to be married? Ready yourself to be someones wife. Clear any emotional baggage you have. Clear any debt or financial obligations you have. Workout... I don't know. Just throwing something out there

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I actually watched a new age video the other day about attracting the opposite gender by clearing our chakra, i.e. taking care of ourselves, and indulge, be creative, and removing masculine energy from ourselves and building on our feminine energy to attract men. You can try that. I personally suggest dating foreign men.

width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/AIdQ6SIgu7M" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen>

Posted by Bebo2014
[...] he cheated me. Came to find out he was married. [...] for 6 weeks. Just casual text and calls. [...]

You are a naive person.

Posted by Bebo2014
[...] was talkin to a Virgo guy for 6 weeks. Just casual text and calls. [...]

click to expand

Texts are for careless players. I don't do it.
Last time I exchanged numbers with a man in a party, I stopped talking to him when I saw he texts the whole evening but doesn't call me.

Old question, old answers:

- wait your turn.
- maintain yourself healthy.
- date down.
- lower your expectations.
- don't fall for good looks.
- remove masculine energy (hello VenusStar).
- don't waste time on email, text, fb, ig with your dates.
- hope for good luck (hello grayid2 and seraph).
- show them you are not to be consumed and thrown away (hello beautifuldiaster).
- make a baby ASAP.

I'm wondering why Timberlake did not marry Diaz. And Hamilton the Scherzinger. Bad times we are living in. ok, that's depressive view. We are not Holleywood.

Maybe I was not a help. Yet I could not resist to give my 2 cents. If it's big mouthy I can hide it.

Posted by starlover

Posted by vesperlynd83

Posted by starlover
......because all the good ones are either taken or gay 😛

Or dead lol

😆

that is funny

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But so true 🙂

Posted by beautifuldiaster

Posted by grayid2
Cause of society, and perversion, and wanking every day since they're 12...guys have lost their way. Their humanity, their sense of reality.
In the past, men would refrain from giving in to their most basic impulses, and so they were courteous,kind, romantic and monogamous. Sadly, it's like Lord of the Rings, they need's tha preciousssss...and thy mistreat and use da woman....

Might I add that women allow this behavior and encourage it. By doing so, it creates an image where women (or men) are seen as a commodity. Something that can be thrown away when it not longer serves a purpose.

click to expand

Well why do women allow it? If it turns them into a commodity...

Posted by jeane

Posted by AriesLady8

Posted by AnomalousBull


I fully understand @ Soulmate.

I'm old school, believe in courtship. I have beliefs and hold traditions dear which modern day society has abandoned in Lieu of something less serious or never lasting. I'm surrounded by people who have no intention of going the distance and instead treat life like it's a joke. It's suffocating to be honest, especially since there are so few like myself in a world of billions.

Truth is I'm most likely going to grow old alone, which I've accepted. There's no way in hell I'm going to alter my beliefs, change who I am, or conform to someone else' flighty, sketchy lifestyle just to make them happy.

What I'm getting at is that you have to accept the possibility that you may never truly be happy. And if you are one of the few lucky bastards to find someone whom reciprocates you in every way, then you truly have a Soulmate and should never take it for granted.

Don't throw in the towel yet : ( ..... You're still young! Indulge in your hobbies or join groups where the members have similar beliefs and views. Those are good places to find love and friendship

i absolutely understand what he is saying. it's a great post. it's not about throwing the towel in. it's about understanding that there are few people that share those values and beliefs. meeting enough people is often not the problem. the problem is that the quality you are looking for is so rare that you have to accept the possibility that you might never find it. not wanting to compromise and holding firm to your standards means statistically speaking narrowing the pool of potential candidates.

and yes, if you are lucky to find it, dear god you should hang on to it with all your might.

click to expand

Jeane to the front of the class!

*Gold Star* 😉

So cynical, so sad.

People are these amazing beautiful creatures. And the can be found all over the place. I'm not really sure how to share my pov, i guess its more of a frame of mind. But why in the world would I put my own expectations and limits on another person?

Too much worry not enough living.

NO my friend!No matter how hard things may seem we must never give up hope!I never had a serious relationship but even when the odds are against me i get more stubborn and my resolve becomes stronger than ever.You deserve a kind,loving and caring man my dear and i'm looking for the same in a woman.I like the fact that you're honest and in my opinion there can be no relationship without honesty.What's your Zodiac Sign?I'm Cancer with Gemini cusp.I would like you to reply to me so we can talk more.Have a beautiful day!

Posted by AnomalousBull

Jeane to the front of the class!

*Gold Star* 😉

not bad for a libra eh? 😉

i would echo some of these sentiments though. you're life can change in an instant. you'll probably never see it coming. i was alone for a good long time (and I mean a loooong time) and like you, resigned myself to possibly never finding the person who would meet my standards.

then i met someone and it took me by surprise. he didn't come as i imagined. he wasn't really my type but as we spoke more and more i realised that although he didn't come in the package i was expecting he met all of my important criteria. no one was more surprised than me. it happens. i hope one day it happens to you too.

Posted by jeane

Posted by AnomalousBull

Jeane to the front of the class!

*Gold Star* 😉

not bad for a libra eh? 😉

i would echo some of these sentiments though. you're life can change in an instant. you'll probably never see it coming. i was alone for a good long time (and I mean a loooong time) and like you, resigned myself to possibly never finding the person who would meet my standards.

then i met someone and it took me by surprise. he didn't come as i imagined. he wasn't really my type but as we spoke more and more i realised that although he didn't come in the package i was expecting he met all of my important criteria. no one was more surprised than me. it happens. i hope one day it happens to you too.

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Alright Jeane, I will make an exception for you! 😛

My number one issue with women at the moment is I can't seem to find one that want's what I want. Ultimately I'm ready for the next stage of my life cycle, unfortunately every woman I encounter doesn't want anything serious, it's always a Fuck, Game, or Screw, pardon my bluntness. And to be honest that's not what I'm about. I've never been that guy nor wanted to be.

I rarely date anymore, lost the patience for it plus I'm tired of females telling me I remind them of their father! In my defense, women these days wouldn't know good taste if it bite them in the ass!

Generally speaking, My deal with Libra's has to do with one dissing me many years ago. So I kinda paint them all with a broad brush. I also continuously break the Bulls most sacred rule - Don't look back! Yes she wronged me, but I think of her often. Same with a Leo.

Anyway thanks for the hopes!

It's easier for a man to find a good woman than it is for a woman to find a good man.

Posted by Koniucha

Posted by DwellingOnMove
Old question, old answers:

- wait your turn.
- maintain yourself healthy.
- date down.
- lower your expectations.
- don't fall for good looks.
- remove masculine energy (hello VenusStar).
- don't waste time on email, text, fb, ig with your dates.
- hope for good luck (hello grayid2 and seraph).
- show them you are not to be consumed and thrown away (hello beautifuldiaster).
- make a baby ASAP.

I'm wondering why Timberlake did not marry Diaz. And Hamilton the Scherzinger. Bad times we are living in. ok, that's depressive view. We are not Holleywood.

Maybe I was not a help. Yet I could not resist to give my 2 cents. If it's big mouthy I can hide it.

Some of these are fine, but date down? What is that supposed to mean?

And make a baby ASAP? Uh ok.

click to expand

He means settle.