Do men have a friend zone for women?? (Page 2)

Posted by Undine

Posted by jeane

Posted by Undine

Posted by jeane

Posted by Undine

Yeah...not, unless the chemistry is not there. Which make one question how did you become friends, in the first instance.

I think it's up to the woman to set firm boundaries.

why is it the woman's responsibility to set a man's boundary?

She can't "set a man's boundary". However, she can set a boundary between herself and that man. Her self-made boundary.

In my case, it meant responding with silence and stern face to all backhanded compliments and saying a firm NO when something questionable was on offer. They learned quickly that there was a boundary.

or perhaps maybe men shouldn't overstep the mark with women in the first place if it is uninvited?

You made me think of a vampire, unable to enter the house until invited 😄 Of course they shouldn't overstep boundaries!

I never actually experienced any sexual innuendos from male friends (unless an offer to massage me with vinegar as a cure for a common cold that I didn't actually have could be considered sexual, lol). What I experienced was male friends starting to behave like they had a crush on me...that was unnerving.

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i've had male friends try it on with me too. under no circumstances had i given any signals that that was appropriate and were shot down accordingly. it was embarrassing for them and it subsequently ruined the friendship. that's on them though.

i've spoken to other men about it and been told that that sort of thing is just unacceptable for guys to do. that they should have known what the deal was and not just tried it on because we were friends. i don't feel i have to preface anything from the outset with these men that i won't be sleeping with them. they should be able to read the situation.

ironically, i was friends with my current partner for nearly a year before things had gotten physical. a significant reluctance on his part to move from friends to partners was that he didn't want to ruin the friendship. i had to instigate things otherwise we'd still be friends today.

Posted by GODZ

Posted by virghost

yes they do I’ve been a couple times wouldn’t recommend

But you are homie based personality

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it’s cuz I grew up with men

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by Jumpin_Jupiter

Posted by Antiphates

Posted by Black-Mamba

Posted by Antiphates

Posted by Black-Mamba

how come all my guy friends stop being friends with me after they get a girlfriend/wife

Scenario 1: the wife has problems with it

Scenario 2: the husband thinks the wife might have a problem with it and takes preemptive measures

Scenario 3: the merging, where most of the other social contancts are mostly abandoned

the answer is because men truly can't be friends with women

they really use the woman and if they can't get sex will dump her for the one that gives him sex

simple, men can't be friends with women they're just biding their time until they can get a regular sexual mate

Whatever you need to tell yourself to avoid taking responsibility for the failings of your relationships.

It's not failing of her relationships cus she never been deep in it with all those outgoing fire she got. It's the failing of her friendship with men.

I'm actually a really good loyal strong friend

ive had real close relationships with men, but once they get married...its finito

i have had men befriend me after they are married

mostly Cancer men

it works well for us

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sounds like good guy why did you not want to date any of them.

Posted by Metatron

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Metatron

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Metatron

Posted by LadyNeptune

Men have zero issues fucking their friends.

You can't actually believe that...

Yes, I do believe that.

What do you base that belief on? You think men are sexually attracted to all of their friends? Or you think men even routinely fuck women they are not sexually attracted to?

To clarify....

And I'm making a couple assumptions here, like for instance that you have a social life where you and your boyfriend go out with mutual friends of the opposite sex -- do you basically believe that you're dating a man who would fuck any one of them, were he given the green light by all parties involved?

To clarify,

No, I said nothing about men being sexually attracted to ALL of their friends. I said men wouldn’t deny themselves sex on the basis of ‘we’re friends’ like women do when they friend zone.

Thx for clarifying.

So you think men are incapable of choosing the value of the friendship over the instant gratification of sex? I can tell you I've definitely made that choice myself. One of the closest female friends I've had, also one of the most physically attractive women I've known....I sincerely respected her too much to think of her sexually. I would literally not even allow my thoughts to go there as I thought it would mess up the vibe. There did come a time where I felt she was signaling attraction. Tbh, in my own mind, I felt sure I could've slept with her, but I had no interest whatsoever, as I felt we'd be incompatible long-term and lose respect for one another. I didn't really like who/how she was with the guy she was dating for most of the time I'd known her, and I felt she wouldn't deal too well with my own possessiveness. So unless, I'm still misunderstanding you, that theory doesn't really get off the ground, and I'm confused as to why you would even hold to it....

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There's an exception to every rule.

But as far as the premise of what the op was asking, men will fuck zone a woman but they don't friend zone. That's a predominately female move.

Your example illustrates this. You were turned off and lost your attractiveness towards her because of other factors, not just the 'friendship' but your perception that there was incompatibility issues and knowing your own penchant for possessiveness, losing attraction towards her based on her own dating choices, etc. There is a risk/reward ratio for everything.

Posted by Antiphates

Posted by Lostthoughts

Posted by Antiphates

Posted by Metatron

Posted by jeane

Posted by Metatron

Posted by jeane

i think some of you aren't giving some men enough credit.

and/or are delusional, ignorant, sexist, arrogant, etc....

don't hold back now....

you know what? reading it saddens me because it makes me realise that women on the whole don't see certain aspects to male character. partly that's on women. it's also on men too because they don't talk to women about it or show them.

i have a lot of male friends and they aren't looking for a quick fuck. they are actually seeking (even longing) for a connection/companion and the closeness that comes from sex with someone they have feelings for. having sex with any available woman (colleague, acquaintance etc) just doesn't do it for them. even if she is very attractive.

There are men who are looking for a quick fuck and who are only as faithful or as sexually inhibited "as their options" as the saying goes (all separate and potentially unrelated issues IMO). And then there are men who don't fit these categories as you just said. Not trying to be a smartass at all here, but its hard to see how its any man (or woman's) responsibility to make sure that any particular group they belong to isn't being mis-characterized by others. I'm not out here representing men. I'm just living my life. If someone is so ignorant to still be running with stereotypes like "all men (or women) are the same", I just chime in at that point to tell them that they're wrong on whatever the particular issue is.

Isn't it just obvious that men enjoy companionship though? Don't we grow up in families with mothers, sisters, and a whole host of social relationships with women, many that we care about deeply, that have no sexual context whatsoever? What do women who believe that their male friends would jump at the chance to fuq them, think these men are hanging around them for? Are they just waiting patiently for a moment of weakness?

Allow me to chime in, be and sound like a smartass:

It's a variation of a core problem that humans face in relation to themselves as well as others, which is that your identity can only exist as a filtered and made construct. Only through this made up image and it's narration you can relate to yourself. Without it you would have a very different sense of self, if any at all. In relationships to others this problem only becomes more prominent even although we all usually try to project an image that we understand as something we are to others as means to connect and feel understood. One of the biggest obstacles is that we don't always speak in the same abstract language and symbols. In other words you not only have to actively express yourself but have to do so in the language of the other person. That's already a doubled effort you have to put in.

Now put this already problematic thing into the potentially sexually charged male-female relationship that has been the source of conflict for thousands of years and you can only have a mess of misunderstandings. The increasing politicisation and moralisation of the recent years also probably didn't help with that.

With all of that in mind, to just live and do your thing would create a massive vacuum that the other person would need to fill with something to avoid a potential uncomfortableness or even other, stronger emotions. The usual solution is to project aspects of yourself into this void.

In general I can only recommend some self-experimentation to see what happens once one truly stops commuicating his/her/it's own self-image in various and just do things without ever framing them to others.

Almost all of this wouldn't really be a problem if us humans would be able to apporach each other openly, as individuals and without categories, but that's hard for most and eventually even problematic or harmful for most other contexts.

In the end both genders will have to put in some effort and create new, and hopefully, better categories.

I agree on all points😋

Categories>words>symbols they are all just points of reference we all agree to use for the sole purpose of communication. My favorite example of this is the word "meek" the traditional meaning is pretty different then how we use it now.

Anyway it's interesting how this all came along and snowballed out if control. Perhaps when we catagories things we limit and box the thing in by defining it rigidly. Things change and people are very diverse to Begin with, hense the rebellion?

I understand both sides. Things are getting out of hand now though. In the social justice and political correctness movement, The former suppressed are steady becoming the suppressors.

Anyway, honest and non-judgemental communication is extremely rare. I don't see it on TV at all. It's more of a exchange of ideas and points of view rather winning or losing. Unfortunately I only see that in podcasts and acedemic disgusions and debates. That needs to change.

We definetly need not only better romantic fiction in various media but also better fiction in general, but even over the last decade there were a couple of good romantic fictions. One example is the before trilogy which is basically just the story of two people talking openly with each other at various stages of their relationship.

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Yes there are quite a few movies like this as well, not just romances. The only time I've seen other people I my life do this was out of anger/arguing which shouldn't really count and with banter and jokes. They spoke between the lines.

A friend of mine also had a similar experience but at a whole new level. She and her ex got to the point of having conversations with simple gestures, looks, and a few words here and there. Incredibly rare but I do not doubt we are capable of that.

Posted by virgoking

Posted by Jumpin_Jupiter

Posted by virgoking

Another question can a man be friends with a really hot chick like a perfect 10.. I can't do it I tried they are just too fine for me. I can't stop thinking as about fucking them. It's painful to be around such women and trying to turn off your natural responses.

Yeah it's possible. Look man, I'm just like you. I lust over beautiful women. I have lustful placements. That is why I can't help my lustful ways even tho I already got a woman I can just look at all day anytime. And I know you to be this way too you don't have to hide your true desire in sexy women with me. Feel comfy and come clean with me. We're both men.

I can still be friends with a perfect ten lady. Yes I may look at her as someone I may want to perform sex with especially if she has nice curves with a beautifully figured ass but once we become friends all that nasty lust will be thrown out the window.

LMAO all true what helps now I know a lot of perfect 10 are crazy lol. so I think about that.

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But would it still be hard to be friends with them? Like would you still say you can't stop thinking about fucking them?

I'll say this to put it in perspective. I'll observe their charisteristics first and foremost. The perfect ten lady might have a nice sweet and charming personality but that ain't enough to become my friend. If she hoe around that's a red flag. Once we become friends (if she even pass my observations) knowing me in due time I will politely and kindly ask her to cover up especially out in public seen around me. It would be different if we are married and even still that would probably embarrass me. I like to be around fully clothed people and ones that smells good. If you don't meet up to those standards you can forget about it.

I'm not sure how relevant that is for me to post all that but that's just me.